Unwrapping the Playboy (17 page)

“No,” she told him hoarsely. “The word
no,
that's what's in my heart.”

The single, isolated word made no sense to Kullen as it hung in the air before him. “No?”

She nodded her head. If she clasped her hands any tighter in her lap, she was certain her fingers would snap off. She tried hard to loosen them, but somehow, she couldn't. Not yet.

“That's right. No. No, I don't want this to be over and,
no, I don't want this to mean that I won't be seeing you anymore.”

Without realizing it, they'd reached her neighborhood and he'd just driven onto her cul de sac. Kullen pulled into her driveway. After turning off the engine, he remained in the car, afraid that a change of venue would change the words around somehow.

“Keep going,” he urged.

This was hard for her. But then, maybe if it were easy, it wouldn't have all these emotions involved.

“I was wrong last time.” Her eyes met his. “Wrong to leave you like that. But I really thought I was sparing you—and me. Mostly me, I guess.” This was hard, she thought. Harder than she'd imagined. But she refused to allow herself to look away. “I didn't want to see the look of loathing in your eyes.”

“Loathing?” he repeated incredulously. Now she
really
wasn't making any sense. “Why the hell would I loathe you?”

She pressed her lips together a moment to keep them from trembling. After a moment, she continued. “Because I was pregnant.”

“Well, it's not as if you actively went out and campaigned to get that way.” Didn't she know him at all, he wondered. Didn't she understand how much she meant to him? How much he loved her, both then and now? “You're missing the salient point here, Lilli. You suffered through a horrific trauma. You were raped and didn't let it defeat you. You came out of it with your head held high, raising a pretty cool kid. That's pretty damn admirable in my book.”

Unbuckling his seat belt, Kullen shifted behind the
wheel. He looked into her face and lightly skimmed the back of his knuckles along her cheek. He could feel himself aching for her.

“Of course, if you would have let me, I would have helped you carry that burden so you wouldn't feel as if you were alone.”

She knew that now and mourned the years that they'd lost with one another. “I'm sorry about that.”

What was done was done, there was no changing the past. Only the future. “It's behind us.”

She had to learn how to forgive herself. To forgive herself and focus on the positive side. And there were so many positive things, she realized. Starting with him.

“I really don't know how to thank you—or your mother for giving your name to my mother.” Without Kullen fighting for her, for Jonathan, she knew that things could have gone abysmally wrong.

He pretended to consider her words. “If you really mean that, I have a way for you to kill two birds with one stone.”

Bemused, she cocked her head as she looked at him and waited. “I'm listening.”

“Well, if you marry me,” he told her as simply as if he was talking about his plans for the weekend, “you'll make me—and my mother—extremely happy.”

Had he just said what she thought he had? She refused to believe that she could get this lucky, not just once but twice. Still, it did sound as if he'd just asked her to be his wife.

“If I marry you,” she repeated, stunned.

He watched her eyes for a sign of what her answer would be. “Those were the words.”

She shook her head, trying to clear it. She stared at him in sheer wonder—and joy. “You still want to marry me?”

“I never stopped wanting to marry you,” he said simply.

Her heart went into double time. “You're serious.”

“I could take an oath in blood if you like. Messy, but definitely to the point.” He watched as tears slid down her cheeks. Oh, damn, did this mean no? He didn't know if he could handle her turning him down again.

“Why are you crying?” he asked uneasily, taking out a handkerchief and giving it to her.

She wiped her eyes and did her best to look presentable—she didn't want him changing his mind. “Women cry when they're happy.”

He was still rather uncertain about this turn of events. “So those are happy tears?”

Handing him back his handkerchief, she felt a smile rising up, taking over not just her lips but her whole countenance. “Yes.”

One last tear rolled down her cheek and he touched the tip of his finger to it. He examined what he could.

“They don't look any different than the other kind,” he commented. “Are you sure you're happy?”

“Oh, yes,” she assured him with feeling. “I'm very sure.”

It was as if his whole system just breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Then does that mean that we're finally going to get married?”

She was grinning now. Grinning and happy and giddy beyond belief. “Yes.”

Shifting again, Kullen dug into his pocket. Finding
what he was searching for, he took her hand and slipped the ring on.

Her mouth dropped open as she stared at the tiny sparkler. And recognized it. “Is that the same ring?” she asked hoarsely.

“Yes.”

She raised her head to look at him. He was far more precious to her than any diamond ring. “You kept it all this time? Why?”

The shrug was quick, dismissive. All his initial silent pep talks to himself about remaining strictly profession al with Lilli had been just that: talk.

“Because I guess, at bottom, I'm still an optimist. When you came back into my life, I started carrying the ring in my pocket again—hoping that if and when I gave it to you, you'd keep it this time.”

She had to be the luckiest woman on earth, Lilli thought. “I will definitely keep it this time,” she told him, holding her hand up so that the infiltrating moonlight could see it, too. “I promise.”

“A promise is no good until it's sealed with a kiss,” he told her solemnly.

She was more than happy to oblige. “One sealed promise coming up,” she told him.

And Lilli was as good as her word.

L
illi had always loved Christmas when she was a little girl, but it had been a long time since she'd felt that pure, innocent joy surging through her about the holiday—the way she felt it now.

And that was Kullen's doing, she thought, circling the ten-foot tree in her living room. She examined it from all angles for the umpteenth time.
He
had made it special for her.

Made it magical.

And busy. Infinitely busy. Tomorrow was Christmas day, and she was opening her house up not just to Kullen's family and friends, but to Elizabeth Dalton, Jonathan's
other
grandmother, as well.

Their
house, Lilli silently corrected herself as she adjusted a section of garland that was dipping a little lower than the rest of the string. Opening up
their
house.
She would have to get used to thinking in the plural, not the singular.

Lilli glanced down at the three-week-old wedding band that sparkled and shone on her finger. There were a lot of adjustments to be made. And she was looking forward to making all of them. Lilli smiled to herself. After shouldering her way through life on her own for too long, she was overjoyed at being part of a couple. Part of a family.

The word warmed her.

Family.

And it wasn't referring to just the tight threesome that she, Kullen and Jonathan comprised. No, in this case, the word included Kullen's family as well as her mother.

And Jonathan's other grandmother, she added, thinking of Elizabeth.

She was making good on her promise, inviting her to spend the holiday with Jonathan and the rest of them.

She was nervous about that. Her fingertips turned cold just at the thought of being in the same room with the woman again so soon. But Kullen had promised to be there for her every step of the way, and as long as he was she could face anything, even Elizabeth Dalton.

Surprised, Lilli sucked in her breath as Kullen silently came in and encircled her waist from behind. The scent of his cologne filled her head as he leaned his face in against her cheek.

“I take it Jonathan's finally asleep,” she guessed.

“Took three stories, but yes, Jonathan's finally asleep.” Still holding her, Kullen pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. She allowed a small, contented sigh to
break free. “You ever going to stop fussing around that tree?” he teased.

She turned around in the circle of his arms, several strands of tinsel in her fingertips, tinsel she was presently moving from a branch that had more than enough to one that didn't. “I just want everything to be perfect tomorrow.”

Kullen shook his head, amused. She'd been working on that tree for hours, even after he and Jonathan had helped decorate it. “You'll be here—that'll make it perfect.”

Lilli relaxed a little, smiling up at him. “I can't remember. Were you always this good with words?”

“Always,” he answered with no hesitation.

She laughed. “And modest. Incredibly modest.”

“Yes, there's that, too.” He took the strands from her and tossed them haphazardly at the tree. They landed in a glob on a branch. She began to reach for them, but he drew her back. “Leave it. It looks more natural that way,” he said, kissing the other side of her neck. That was when he noticed a stack of neatly wrapped boxes beneath the tree. They stood out because there was nothing else under it yet. “What's that?” he asked, nodding at the stack.

She glanced over her shoulder to verify what he was referring to. “Your presents.”

That wasn't what they'd agreed on. “I thought we were going to let Santa deliver them later, in case Jonathan woke up and came down here before morning.”

He'd made her so incredibly happy, she couldn't resist putting a few of the things she'd gotten him under the tree now. “Santa just made a quick pit stop,” she
explained with a vague shrug. “He'll be back later with the rest of the loot.”

“Oh, well, Santa's elves haven't wrapped your gifts yet,” he told her. He'd never been good at things like that. For the most part, he thought of himself as gift-wrap-challenged.

“Oh, I wouldn't say that.” Lilli's eyes skimmed over him significantly. “The biggest gift of all is standing right here, all wrapped up.” Lacing her fingers through his, she began to draw him over to the staircase.

He offered no resistance, only a question. “Where are we going?”

“Upstairs,” she told him, leading the way. “I'd like to unwrap my present now.”

“I never argue with a lady on Christmas Eve,” Kullen deadpanned.

The smile that rose into Lilli's eyes when she looked at him over her shoulder made him fall in love with her all over again.

It was the fifth time that day.