Unwrapping the Playboy (12 page)

“Are you sure?” he pressed, his eyes on hers. He told himself that if she was lying, he'd know.
Yeah, like you figured out what was going on eight years ago, right?

“Of course I'm sure,” Lilli cried. “Don't you think that I'd remember something like that? No one ever offered me money in exchange for my silence or my baby. I would have made him eat it if he had. Why would I lie about that to you?” she asked.

He took an intelligent guess. “Because you're afraid. Because you want to keep your son and you think this
might jeopardize that, paint you in a bad light as someone who could be bought off.”

He was just doing his job, she told herself. There was no reason for her to feel as if she was suddenly alone again.

“I'm only going to say this once so listen carefully,” she told Kullen. “I never asked for any money, and no lawyer named Cooper or anyone else ever approached me with any money.” Her eyes narrowed, fixing him with a glare. “What part of that don't you understand?”

He was honest with her, playing devil's advocate. “The part where all the other victims were given money but not you. Why not?” he asked. He didn't like riddles unless he had the answers, and he didn't in this case. He knew Elizabeth Dalton's lawyers would try to trip him up with this. If Lilli was hiding something from him, he needed to know now. “Why were all these other women paid off and not you?”

“I don't know,” she cried, fisting her hands at her sides. Rising to her feet, she began to pace around the room restlessly. She was struggling not to shout, afraid of waking up Jonathan. Because she knew he was only trying to help—even though his question made her angry—she searched for an answer.

She gave him the only one she could come up with. “Maybe because I never went to him, and all the other women did,” she guessed. “I wrote him a note only after Jonathan was born and that took a lot for me to do. I didn't tell Erik where I was, didn't ask him for anything. I never wanted to see him again,
ever.
I had a friend who was a flight attendant mail the note from another state.
I did it for Jonathan so I could tell him that his father knew about him if he asked me someday.”

“And you never gave Erik an address, or told him how to get in touch with you?”

“No!” she retorted. “Don't you understand? I didn't want to see him, didn't want anything from him,” she said fiercely, then struggled to control her voice. She realized that she was all but shouting at Kullen. Getting control over herself, she nodded at the laptop. “How many half brothers and sisters does my son have?”

He looked at the screen although he didn't have to. What he'd read was pretty conclusive. “From what I can tell, none.”

“None?” she echoed. How was that possible? The law of averages didn't bear that out. “But you said that he'd forced himself on other women. It sounded like a lot of other women—”

“According to what Jewel found, the ones who did get pregnant terminated their pregnancies the minute they were paid off.”

She stared at him. “All of them?”

He nodded, scrolling through Jewel's notes. “Looks like all of them,” he confirmed. He glanced up at her. “This is probably why Elizabeth Dalton is so obsessed with getting custody of your son. Unless I missed something or Jewel hasn't found it yet, from the looks of it, Jonathan is her only living grandchild. Her only family, now that Erik's dead.”

Lilli sank back down on the sofa as the weight of what he was telling her penetrated. She really was in for the fight of her life.

Kullen took out his cell phone and pressed a number
in his directory. A moment later, he heard the phone on the other end ringing.

“Hi, it's Kullen. Got a minute? I just had a chance to go over the preliminary report you emailed. Great work, by the way. Did you get anything on Mrs. Dalton yet?”

Lilli watched his face and surmised the negative answer. She suppressed a sigh.

“Okay, keep me posted and call me the minute you find anything,” Kullen requested, terminating the call.

As he put his phone away, he slanted a glance toward Lilli. She had an odd expression on her face he couldn't read.

K
ullen waited, expecting her to ask a question. When she didn't, he decided that Lilli needed a little prodding. The look on her face had aroused his curiosity—as well as, he had to silently admit, other things.

“What?”

She supposed that constantly internalizing her concern wasn't the healthiest way. Remaining silent left her thinking the worst.

“Your investigator didn't find any skeletons in Mrs. Dalton's closet, did she?” she asked.

He saw the disappointment in her eyes. And the deep concern. In general, he wasn't a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of guy. The glass was what it was.

But in this case, once again he felt that Lilli needed some hope. “No, not yet, but give her a little more time.”

Lilli wanted so much to believe that it was going to be
all right. She looked up into his eyes, silently pleading. “Tell me it's not hopeless.”

He knew that Elizabeth Dalton was a force to be reckoned with, but he also believed that the justice system did prevail for the most part. “It's not hopeless.”

Lilli nodded, but it was clear that she was vacillating between feeling hopeful and consumed with worry. “Because if it is,” she continued, “then I'd better start packing.”

“Packing?”

Again she nodded. “I'm not letting Elizabeth Dalton get her hands on Jonathan. She'll wind up turning my son into another Erik, I know she will.”

“I doubt that. He's your son. He has your values. Even at this age, you can see that he's not a weakling, not easily bent.”

“I really hope you're right,” she told him with heartfelt sincerity. “But I'm not taking any chances. I was willing to let Mrs. Dalton see Jonathan, let her be part of his life like any normal grandmother. But that wasn't enough for her.” She vividly remembered the moment when the woman seemed to turn on her. “She told me that she wouldn't take a backseat to anyone. And that I wasn't fit to raise a Dalton. I told her that Jonathan wasn't a Dalton, he was a McCall. She laughed at me and said that just proved her point, that I was more of a lightweight than she thought.”

There was anger in her eyes, Kullen noted, as she continued. Damn, but she was magnificent, he couldn't help thinking.

“Any doubts I had that keeping Jonathan would ultimately result in depriving him of the finer things in life
died right then and there. I'd rather have him poor, but well-adjusted and happy than a rich and self-centered bastard like…” She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. “Well, you know….”

“His father?” Kullen supplied.

He hadn't expected to see the very real flash of anger that crossed her face. “Erik wasn't his father,” she insisted. “He doesn't deserve that title. He was just a sperm donor under the worst possible conditions.”

Every time he thought of what she'd gone through at that sick bastard's hands, he wanted to find some way to make it all up to her, to make the incident disappear from her memory. He wanted to hold her, but he remembered how she initially froze when he hugged her. He had no doubt that he would have to start at square one, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their professional relationship. The best thing he could do for her was to be her lawyer.

“Leave your suitcases where they are,” he instructed. “As I told you, the courts tend to side with the mother in these kinds of cases.”

Lilli was not nearly as confident as he was. Before coming to him she'd done her research on Elizabeth Dalton. Some organizations had all but canonized the woman.

“Unless the person seeking custody is a well-known philanthropist who has half the city fawning over her and thinking she's some kind of saint. Do you know how much money she's donated to Blair Memorial Hospital alone? How do I win against someone like that? The family court judge will be falling all over himself or her self to give Mrs. Dalton what she wants.”

“Why don't you let me worry about that?” he suggested. “We might come up with some pretty persuasive arguments yet. As Yogi Berra said, ‘It ain't over till it's over.'” He smiled at the ironically worded statement. “A lot of truth in that.”

God, but she hoped he and Yogi were right. “Sorry, I'm predisposed to worrying.” She lifted her shoulders in a helpless gesture, then let them drop. “I think it's congenital.”

“You know what you need?” he asked. “You need to get out, to have a little fun. To forget about all this for a few hours.”

She doubted if she could put this out of her mind for even five minutes. Retaining custody was all she thought about, waking
and
sleeping.

“After we win.”

He was thinking about before the court date. Otherwise, she would be so tightly wound that by the time they won, she'd be a basket case, unable to enjoy her son. “Unless Jewel can come up with something very soon, winning might take us a while. You've got to make an effort to wind down. I need you relaxed and in control when we walk into the courtroom.”

“I can be in control,” she told him confidently. As for the other, she doubted if that was possible, given her present state of mind. “But relaxed…” Her voice trailed off. There was a skeptical look on her face.

“I've got a wedding I need to attend this Saturday,” he began.

Her eyes met his. “All right.”

Why was he telling her this?
she asked silently. Was he saying that he would not be here with her and
Jonathan this weekend? Or was there something else coming? She missed the optimistic, happy person she'd once been, the person who Erik had killed that night he'd forced himself on her.

“Come with me,” Kullen urged. The moment the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the right thing to do. He wanted her with him and what better, safer setting than a wedding, where there would be scores of other people around.

“What?”

“The invitation is for me and a guest,” Kullen explained, liking the idea more and more. “You can be my guest.”

The thought of being with him on what would ordinarily be seen as a date warmed her. Tempted her. But even as she toyed with the thought, she knew she had to remember what was important here. She shook her head, turning him down. “I don't want to leave Jonathan.”

“You don't have to,” he assured her. “He can be half a guest,” he teased.

She'd forgotten how endearing Kullen could be. “Really?” She felt amusement tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Is that how your invitation reads? Kullen Manetti and one and a half guests?”

“Not quite,” he conceded. “But it can be arranged. Jonathan is small, he won't take up much room.” It was an outdoor wedding. Another chair could be pulled up. “You've got to learn not to fight me on everything,” he told Lilli. He gave her a quick summary of the situation. “One of Kate's best friends, Nikki, is getting married. Kate and her other best friend, Jewel, are the maids of honor.”

“Jewel,” Lilli repeated, alert. “Is she the same one you just—”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “I've known the bride—and Jewel—ever since Kate started bringing them over to the house when she was in third grade.”

What was it like to have friendships that went back that far? After she had learned she was pregnant, she had distanced herself from everyone who had ever meant anything to her. Lilli supposed she couldn't blame it all on Erik. She was the one who was responsible for that.

“You don't have to explain anything to me,” she told Kullen. “I understand.”

“I'm not explaining,” he corrected. “I'm just giving you some background.” He looked at her pointedly. “I think it'll do you good to come, Lilli. To unwind a little. Being uptight isn't going to help you any at the trial,” he repeated.

What would Jonathan do all that time? “I can't just drag Jonathan to a wedding.”

“No dragging involved,” Kullen promised. “And there'll be other kids there around his age. My mother and her cronies will be there, too. I guarantee they'll be fighting each other for the right to watch Jonathan for us.”

Us.
He'd said
us
, not
you
. Was that just a slip of the tongue, or did he see himself that way? As part of a couple?

You know the answer to that. You had your chance and you let it slip through your fingers.

She cleared her throat and asked, “Why would they need to watch him?”

He did his best to keep a straight face as he answered, “So you won't worry about him being alone at the table when we dance.”

“Dance?” she echoed. And then, despite her apprehension, her lips curved in a real smile.

“Yeah. Dance,” he repeated. “It's what people do to music when they can't sing to it. You must have heard of it. I hear it's catching on all over the country.”

She laughed, tickled despite the oppressive gravity that was never far from her mind. “Yes, I think I remember hearing about it somewhere.”

“Good, then I won't have to draw any diagrams for you.” The idea of dancing with her warmed him as he thought about it now.

“Don't be so sure about that,” Lilli warned. “The only one I've danced with in a very long time is Jonathan. When he was a baby,” she added, then explained. “It would soothe him and he'd go right to sleep.” She smiled fondly, remembering. “If I dance with you, I might put you to sleep.”

That was the last thing that dancing with her would do. “I sincerely doubt that,” he told her. “Although,” he proposed, “if you're game, we can put your theory to the test.”

Her immediate reaction was to draw back. It was ingrained in her. Another reason to hate Erik and to keep her son from falling into his mother's clutches. “No, that's all right—”

“Afraid?” he challenged loftily, playing a hunch.

The single-word question had the desired effect. He saw Lilli's chin lift, saw the stubborn look that entered her eyes. The Lilli he remembered had been soft-spoken
and meek. The one who had walked into his office to ask for his help had more spirit than her younger counterpart. He was fairly certain that being a mother, being solely responsible for a child, had created this newer, braver Lilli 2.0.

He'd seen that transformation occur in his own mother when his father had died. Suddenly widowed, Theresa Manetti had one of two choices. Either crumble, or meet life head-on. His mother had chosen the latter and so, obviously, had Lilli.

Without answering him, Lilli walked over to the radio and turned it on, switching to the CD that was already loaded. When the disc clicked into place, she pressed another button, selecting a song.

As a popular singer's timeless voice filled the air, she marched back to Kullen and silently presented herself to him.

He took her into his arms.

Just as he did, a little voice inside her head whispered,
Idiot, now you've gone and done it. Mayday! Mayday!

But it was too late to back away. Unless she wanted to look like a fool.

What could it really hurt? she reasoned. It was only one dance.

So she let Kullen take her hand into his and place it against his chest. Let him slip his other hand around her waist, and let him draw her to him, her body fitting against his as if it had finally come home.

She was an adult, Lilli argued. She could do this without any consequences. After all, she wasn't an
in experienced schoolgirl, barely out of her teens, not anymore….

So why did it feel as if she was?

Why was she trembling? She realized, too, the increase in temperature. By at least ten degrees, if not more. That was the reason why she felt so incredibly hot. Either that, or she had just come down with an instant case of malaria.

This was a mistake, Kullen thought.

A big one.

Up until now, he'd been doing all right—as long as none of his body parts came in contact with hers. The moment they made contact, he could
feel
it. Feel the latent desire taking up every available nook and cranny within him.

The desire to hold her, to caress her, to make love to her the way she had never had love made to her, all but overwhelmed him. He knew that the popular concept revolved around the word
with,
but in this case, it would definitely be
to.
Lilli deserved to be made love
to,
to be held and revered and treated with dignity, respect and the utmost tender affection.

He ached to do all three.

While he would never, ever violate her boundaries, he was having one hell of a time holding himself in check. Moreover, it was growing exponentially harder and harder with each passing second.

“Maybe this isn't such a good idea,” he told her, his voice strained as every fiber in his being was at war with itself.

“Why?” she whispered, afraid of what she was feeling. And even more afraid
not
to be feeling it.

She felt dizzy and giddy and excited all at the same time.

“Because,” he told her honestly. “Holding you like this makes me remember how much I wanted you.”

“Wanted?” she repeated. There was a ribbon of sorrow in her voice, as if she regretted what might have been but no longer was. Regretted a loss of what she had never been allowed to experience. “Does that mean you don't anymore?”

The question was barely audible. She'd raised her face to look into his eyes as she asked the question. Kullen felt her breath gliding along his neck. Felt his gut tighten.

He could barely breathe. She literally took his breath away.

Kullen hardly remembered the precise moment his control shattered. One minute, he was dancing with her to an old, familiar melody as a vocalist sang about the love he'd lost. The next, he'd stopped moving and was kissing her as if his very life depended on it.

The moment his lips touched hers, memories came racing back. Swept away, Kullen scooped her up in his arms, raising her off the floor in his zeal as he lost himself in the feel and the taste of her.