Authors: Tressie Lockwood
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #African American, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Multicultural, #Multicultural & Interracial
“I will. He’ll make sure Paine knows where he’s holed up, and when he does, we will also be there. You don’t have to worry.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
She started to rise, but he tugged her back to keep her close. “I know you better than anyone, so I want to know what’s bothering you. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”
Evie’s heart stirred. “You always think you can fix my troubles.”
“Is that so bad?”
“No, it’s not.”
“So you’re admitting something is wrong?”
“The fifth,” she retorted.
“Evie.”
“Kian.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, one side of his mouth rising just a little. He smelled good, even after a long day. She wanted to bury her face against his neck and breathe him in, to ask if he loved her, and if he did, would he whisper it in her ear as they made love and tried to produce the baby they had always wanted?
How low would she be to try to get pregnant before he found out about Meghan’s child? No, she couldn’t do things that way. The last time they discussed it, Kian had asked her to get back on the pill. She wasn’t coming off it until he agreed and after they worked on their issues.
“Can we just eat dinner together and enjoy each other’s company?”
A little longer?
He studied her face. “I want to push you to open up to me.”
“Don’t, please.”
He sighed. “Okay, for now. I can’t promise I won’t insist later. I don’t want you unhappy, Evie. This situation with your cousin is bad enough. The past is, well, it still affects us, but I’d like to think we’re trying to move forward while being stuck in limbo.”
“Don’t I know it.”
He stood and helped her to her feet. Evie noticed how gentle he was with her, careful of her cast and mindful of any other aches and pains she might have. She told him a million times she was okay, but he was still very sweet.
“I don’t want any more on your shoulders,” he said. “Tell me, and we will work it out together. Got it?”
Emotion threatened to make her cry, but she managed to stuff it down. She offered him a big smile. “Yes, sir, Special Agent Sloane, sir.”
He laughed and tapped her ass. “Let’s find something to eat. I skipped lunch so I could eat with you.”
“Not cool, but I’ve cooked a delicious meal if I do say so myself.”
“Mm, lead me to it.”
* * * *
Evie chewed her thumbnail as she paced the bedroom. She had managed to put Kian off from what bugged her, but it turned out to be pointless. Meghan had phoned him and pleaded to come over because she had something urgent to discuss with him. Evie had a brief moment of satisfaction hearing the coldness in his voice when he explained to Meghan she had nothing he wanted to hear, but then he’d looked at Evie, and she realized her expression gave away that whatever it was Meghan wanted to talk about, she already knew. The disappointed look he shot her way that she hadn’t told him what was going on spoke volumes. She lost her nerve and excused herself from the room as soon as Meghan arrived. Now, she paced, wanting to know Kian’s reaction to the news, what he said, and what he planned to do.
“Evie.”
She started at Kian’s voice and walked out to the hall. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, his face devoid of emotion. She couldn’t tell what he thought as he held his hand out, and she descended to meet him. She followed him into the living room and found Meghan sitting there with a bottle of juice between her hands. Evie took a seat on the couch, but to her surprise, Kian sat in an armchair, one that held only one person. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Evie, I suspect you already know what Meghan came to talk to me about.”
Her heart sank. She’d hoped he wouldn’t figure it out, but at least the bitch Meghan didn’t tell him. This whole mess moved too fast. She hadn’t been given more than a few hours to think it through, but she guessed Meghan saw the baby would not make Evie back off. The woman probably wanted to start replacing her hooks in Kian right away. She might even have thought as Evie did earlier, that she would try to get pregnant before he found out.
Evie studied Meghan’s face, wondering if that was how this situation happened in the first place. She wouldn’t put it past Meghan. She turned back to Kian, and he remained at a loss for words. She decided to come clean.
“Yes, she told me. I thought it best she talk to you herself.” Bile rose in Evie’s throat. “This is none of my business.”
Kian looked at her with narrowed eyes. “How is it not your business, Evie?”
She stared right back at him, unsure what emotion reflected on her face. “You’re going to be a daddy. I’m not the mother.”
Total silence blanketed the house at her words, but the impact was as if she’d let loose an explosion. The juice bottle in Meghan’s hands slid to the floor and rolled away, and Kian looked like she’d used his gun to shoot him between the eyes. Evie rushed to stand up and turned toward the door, but she stopped and faced him.
“I’m so sorry. That came out wrong. You should be happy about your child. I know how much you want him or her. I hope…” She couldn’t say she hoped the three of them would make a great family and would be happy together. The lie refused to cross her lips.
Kian took his time standing. “I don’t know what to think or feel. Do I let myself be happy? Or do I resent her for bringing one more thing between us?”
Meghan gasped, and so did Evie.
“What matters most,” Meghan said, her jaw tight, “is
our
baby, Kian.”
Evie started for the door again.
“Evie,” he called after her. He moved toward her, but Meghan caught his attention again.
“What about the baby, Kian?”
He grunted. “I need time to think about this.”
“What’s there to think about? You have a responsibility—”
He rounded on her. “Do not speak to me of responsibility! We had the discussion about protection and about you using birth control.”
Meghan blanched. Her gaze darted to Evie and back to him. “This isn’t the time to—”
“Did you or didn’t you say there was no way you could get pregnant?”
Evie thought Meghan would pass out at that point.
“You said you enjoyed your career as an agent and were hoping to be promoted soon. Am I remembering that wrong?”
Her jaw worked. “I had protection. Sometimes it doesn’t work.”
Evie made a sound with her mouth, and Meghan glared at her. Either way, it got to be too much. They all knew Meghan was a conniving piece. Kian knew before he let his little head lead him. Evie didn’t have to be there. She left the room, ignoring both of them, and walked back upstairs. She’d been sharing Kian’s bed, but hesitated outside his bedroom door. Despite how she tried to shut out the memories, she recalled waking up that day and finding he had chosen to sleep in the room they had selected for their future baby. What would he do tonight? In fact, she wondered if she should make the first move and transfer her things down the hall herself. If she did, though, it might be just like what he did two years ago, cutting off the person closest because of her hurt feelings. Staying was a lot harder, and in the end, he might still move. She didn’t want the next few days to be a nightmare, stuck in the house under Kian’s protection.
A short time later, Kian came upstairs, and she had no idea how long she’d stood in the bedroom’s doorway staring in but not coming to a decision. Kian paused behind her. Neither of them spoke, but she felt the warmth of his body and heard his soft breathing. Her shoulders and back ached, muscles both anticipating and dreading his touch.
“Are you thinking of going to the guest room?” he asked.
She licked her lips. “If you want me there…”
“Stop it, Evie!”
She whirled to face him. “Stop what? I know this isn’t easy for you, and it’s not easy for me. We’re both questioning where we stand. Hell, we didn’t know where we stood before Meghan dropped her bomb. You didn’t make me any promises, and I didn’t make you any. We were living, pretending we were going forward when we were going nowhere. Neither of us said flat out, hey, let’s get back together.”
“Then let’s.”
For the second time, everything seemed to freeze in place—time, her thought process, the ability to move. “What?”
He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. Evie’s heart beat out a rapid tattoo. She licked her lips and mentally steadied herself. Kian stood over her, his face coming nearer to hers. He couldn’t mean to kiss her, and yet every sense of her being craved it.
“I love you, Evie.”
Tears appeared in an instant and spilled down her cheeks. She sniffed and shook, sagging against his chest. Kian’s arms came up around her, and she grappled at his shoulders, holding on for dear life.
“I love you too.”
“Marry me again.”
Her mouth fell open. She searched his gaze, looking for the joke or the insincerity. “I don’t want anything more than to be your wife.”
“Then it’s settled.” He kissed her until her toes curled and her strength seeped away. When he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, she didn’t complain, but lay at his side, snuggled to his chest. They held hands, not speaking but almost breathing as one. She shut her eyes and listened to his heart beat. To leave him again was not in her ability. Not again, not when they seemed made for each other, but to survive, they had to communicate, or they would be right back to where they were before.
Evie drew in a breath and blew it out. She fought with insecurity and outright fear of what he would say. “The baby…”
“I’m happy about the baby, Evie.”
He might as well have stabbed her with a knife. She drew back, thinking to run to the bathroom, but his hold tightened.
“Kian, just give me a minute.”
“No.”
She looked up at him and saw the raw pain that stole her breath.
“I wanted you to be the mother of my first child. It kills me that it’s not you, Evie. It feels like a weight I’m not strong enough to stand up under.”
Her eyes widened. “Kian.”
He cupped her face. “You are my entire life. I turned to her not for sexual gratification, but because I hoped to drown out the voice that told me it was impossible to be happy if it wasn’t you. I was determined to go on. I was angry with you. I blamed you. At the same time, every thought centered on you, every breath brought in your scent, even when you weren’t there.”
She sobbed again like an idiot. Kian’s words took her back to their vows, the day they were married, when they made promises of love eternal to each other. His friends had teased him, especially Brad, who had been married two years previous. Everyone said Evie whipped Kian, but she never admitted there wasn’t a rulebook that showed her how to deal with the feelings this man evoked in her. And here he was doing it again, consuming her with the fire of his love.
“I want to be brave and unselfish,” she said. “I wanted to be happy for you. I’m not, Kian. I’m so sorry.”
“I’d rather you were honest anyway.”
“It seems like every time we’re doing okay, something or someone gets in the way.”
He shook his head and drew her into his arms. “No, our path isn’t what we thought it would be, but we’re going to make it. This time, I’ll fight for you.”
She grinned. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” He pushed her onto her back and spread a large hand across her belly. Desire flamed to life in her core. “We’re going to get married again, and we’re going to start working on a baby together.”
Evie grabbed his shirtfront. “Don’t tease me, Kian.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to be a great stepmother too.” She threw an arm over her eyes. “But give me time because it still hurts me a lot.”
“Baby.” His soft voice in her ear sent tingles down her spine. He pulled her blouse up and ran a hand to her bra, across the swell of one breast, and around to the clasp in the back. His lips slanted over hers, and she gave herself to him without reservation. He moaned with each kiss and teased her mouth with the tip of his tongue. Once he’d gotten the bra undone, he moved his palm to her hip and leaned over her until his weight pressed her into the mattress. “Mm, you’re mine, all mine, and I dare any man to come near you again.”
Evie chuckled. “Why do I get the feeling you’re aiming that comment at Leo?”
He frowned. “You were living with him.”
“Two separate apartments.”
“I have no right to be jealous.”
“Nope, but rest assured, my love, Leo and I ended a long time ago, and we never started up again. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Neither do you.”
She didn’t bother telling him his choices would meet her in the face every day forever. In some ways, Meghan was right. Evie hadn’t stuck by him, whether she had a right to walk away or not with everything that happened. She would not make the same mistake twice.
“Kian?”
He rested his face between her now bare breasts. “Yes, baby?”
“Make love to me and tell me you love me.”
“Mm, I can do that, all night long.”
He kissed the swell of one breast. When he leaned up, ready to cover the tip with his mouth, his cell phone rang, and they both groaned. Evie laughed and pushed at his chest. He resisted moving.
“You better get that before you get into trouble.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “It would be worth it.”
“No, it wouldn’t, because you’d be fired, and I’d have to put up with your sorry no-job butt every day at home. Get the phone.”
He rolled away. “I’m not feeling the love, Evie.”
She laughed again, but he stood and pulled his cell phone from his pocket to answer. As soon as he took on a serious tone, Evie rolled to the side of the bed and re-clipped her bra then pulled her shirt down.
“I don’t care if I’ve been taken off the case,” Kian snapped into the phone. “I’m going to be there. Twenty minutes tops.” He ended the call and faced her. “I’m sorry, baby. We’re going to have to pick this up later.”
“Is it Anthony?”
He nodded, straightening his shirt and stuffing it into his pants. “He’s surfaced at a business park in Monroe. That’s also the location we tracked Vitali to.”