Unyielding (The Ashborne Trilogy Book 2) (5 page)

My father raised his hands, gesturing to the Royal Guard around the room. “Let it be known… Any man who lays a hand upon that boy will be executed without trial!” He looked down at me with a raised eyebrow to see if his order had sufficed to quell my objections. I slowly rose to my feet and stared at the soulless monster in front of me; a monster who used to be a normal and kind man once.

I tried to choke down the tears and anger that were welling up inside me as I said, “I know you didn’t used to be like this. What happened to you?”

He ignored my question and signaled the guards to remove me from the room. “We’re done here! Take her to her chambers!”

The guards wrapped their arms underneath mine as I watch my father turn his back to me and begin walking away. As I quickly realized what I had just been forced to agree to, I was done - just done. I no longer had the strength to stand or the will to move; my spirit had been thoroughly crushed. I just stared at the ground as the guards dragged my limp body through the castle, all the way back to my chambers.

It had been over a week since since I had left my bed. I was tired but couldn't sleep. I was hungry but couldn't eat. I laid there silently and looked around my room. The large drapes hanging from the windows let the sun outside know that its light wasn’t welcomed here. And the dim, flickering candlelight frolicked across the walls like a dancing, evil sprite that took too much pleasure in taunting me. Everything about this dark room seemed to mirror what was going on inside my heart.

I hadn’t heard from Gentry or seen Emoren since making the deal with my father, and the reality of my situation had firmly set in. After hearing Gentry talk about Emoren’s prison and seeing first-hand what they’d done to him, I had finally accepted that the only way to save him was to go through with the marriage to Alexander. I was going to sacrifice my life to save his; this was my inescapable fate.

Shut away inside my chambers, this dark room had become my own personal Hell. I suffered alone as my thoughts betrayed and tormented me, offering no solace to speak of. I had become so consumed with guilt, that I could feel my mind going crazy inside this dark Hell. The demons of my past were waging war inside me. They were fighting to extinguish the light and hope Emoren had brought to my life, spreading their dark seeds throughout every part of my heart - and they were winning. It felt as if the years of my father's mental abuse had finally ruined me beyond repair, and I prayed that the darkness of this room would swallow me up, once and for all. All I could think about were all the people who had been hurt or killed because they cared for me.

I thought about the mother I never got to meet, the first to lose her life because I lived. I imagined how happy she must have been during her pregnancy, loving me before I was even of this world. I thought about how, as she lay there after giving birth to me, she must have known she wasn't long for this world, yet she used her last moments to hold me.

I thought about the siege of Alkanamor and the knights who gave up their lives for me. I remember addressing them the night before, divulging the entire situation to them. I told them how my father had ordered me to leave with 1000 men on his suicide mission, or that 5000 would be sent to die in my place.

I told them that I wasn't going to let any of them die because of my father's hatred for me and that I would be going alone. I issued them all a royal pardon and ordered them to stay in Ashborne. Yet the morning of the battle, as I rode out beyond the gates, there, atop their horses, was an army of 1600 White Torch knights; 1600 men who were ready to give up their lives to follow me. They cared for me, and because of that, less than 400 made it back with their lives.

I also couldn’t help but think about Emoren and how much he’s endured because he made the mistake of saving a helpless girl from being ravaged on her way to Benethil. Had he heeded Belafor’s warning and left me to die, his life wouldn’t be in the danger it was in now.

Despite having put an end to Emoren’s beatings, I couldn't bring myself to face him, and every day that I put it off, the harder it became. After all, what was I going to tell him? I never deserved his love in the first place, and now, with what I was planning to do, I knew that telling Emoren the truth would only force him to endure the heartache that was already suffocating me.

I could feel myself beginning to hate the world and everyone in it, and as the darkness continued feeding on my heart, I heard a light knocking on my chamber doors. I rolled over to see Penelope poking her blonde head inside. Although I was sure she had probably heard about the engagement by now, I still didn’t have the heart to share with her the pain I was dealing with. I had still been keeping her away from me as much as possible. I didn't want the darkness that surrounded my life to consume her too.

“Highness?” She whispered.

“
What is it?”

“
The apothecary you sent for is here to see you,”

I rose from my bed for the first time in days. “Send him in.”

I sat on the edge of the bed as the two of them entered the room. Penelope's face was inundated with worry and confusion. She stared at me from the doorway as the old apothecary walked over and bowed his head before me.

“
Leave us,” I ordered her.

Looking at the concern and love on her face as she left the room made my heart hurt, but I still didn't want her around me while I was like this. As wonderful and bright as she was, I wasn't going to risk her getting crushed under the weight of the darkness that I was being consumed by; I cared for her far too much.

“I have what you asked for, Your Highness,” the old man said as he handed me a small vial.

I looked the vial over carefully and unscrewed the dropper that sealed the drug inside. The liquid was odorless and jet black. Its color seemed fitting, given my current situation.

“One drop, diluted with a goblet of water, will allow you to rest through the night,” he said.

“
Two drops?” I asked.

“
Two drops will put you out for a day or more, and you'll have quite the headache when you wake.”

“
More than that?”

He looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face. Aside from knowing that I was having trouble sleeping, he was oblivious to my situation. But after hearing my last question, I could tell that he was wondering whether he was right to bring this vial to me.

“I'm the Princess of Ashborne. I would be a fool not to know the full potential of something that has the ability to incapacitate me.”

He seemed to buy my reasoning. “Highness, much more than two drops will cause you to fall into a slumber that you might not wake from. Significantly more than two drops will kill a full-grown horse. Please, be careful with it.”

“Thank you.” I said as I tossed him a small pouch of gold coins worth far more than what he was giving me. “For your sake, I suggest you not speak of this meeting to anyone. Now leave.”

He bowed his head in compliance and turned to leave the room. As he left, I could see Penelope taking his place inside the doorway. I quickly hid the vial under my pillow as she closed the door behind her.

She still had that look on her face as she walked over to me. “Highness, what's going on? You're not eating. You're not sleeping. And now the apothecary has come to see you? Please, talk to me.”

“
I told you before, Penelope, I'm not feeling well. That's why you shouldn't be around me.”

She knew I was lying and continued pressing the issue. “What about this engagement to Alexander? What happened to Emoren? I haven't seen him in days.”

I didn't answer. I just stared at the floor as my mind imagined that last time I saw Emoren, beaten and bloodied, and I couldn't keep the tears from forming in my eyes.

“
Please, just tell me what's going on. I promise I'll help!” Penelope pleaded.

Before I could stop them, the demons inside me lashed out at an innocent Penelope. “Oh? And what can you do!? How dare you act like you have any idea of what a princess deals with! You're just a foolish little girl who knows nothing!”

She just stood there, shocked and trembling. I could tell it was taking all of her innocent, blonde being to hold back the flood of tears I had just induced with my hurtful words.

“
I- I'm sorry, Your Highness. I'll bring your supper as soon as it's ready,” she said, choking up.

“
Penelope, wait...”

But it was too late. It was the first time I had spoken to her in days, and I had failed to keep her safe from the very thing I was trying to protect her from. I heard her begin to cry as she ran out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her. I didn't think it was possible for me to feel any worse, but after what I had just done, I realized that I was sorely mistaken.

I laid there for a while, staring at the vial as I held it above my face. I wondered if maybe it was better if everyone hated me, considering what I was planning to do. I never understood why Penelope and Gentry bothered with me to begin with. No matter how I looked at, there was no way their lives weren’t made more difficult because I was a part of them.

I got up from my bed and took a seat at my vanity, the edge of which was covered in wax from the sole candle I hadn't bothered to put out since I lit it. I carefully studied over the contract I had been drawing up. It was a thorough form, releasing Penelope of all royal servitude.

I signed the completed document, folded it tightly, and stamped it with a wax, Ashborne seal. Tying a ribbon around it, I placed the document inside the drawer of my vanity that also contained a large pouch of gold. I was planning to give them both to Penelope on the eve of my wedding so that she and her family could leave Ashborne.

I sat there for a long while, staring at myself in the mirror, feeling sorry for and hating the person I was looking at, until I heard Penelope knock on the door again. This time, I stood up to greet her as she entered room. It was immediately obvious she was still upset because of what I had said.

“Your supper, Your Highness,” she said meekly as she began placing the food on the table.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “Penelope... Please, forgive me. I didn't mean what I said.”

She hung her hands from my arms. “I just want to help you,” she whimpered.

“
I know you do,” I said. “This is just something I have to do on my own.”

No matter how this story was going to end, I knew I would be leaving Penelope, and I didn’t want her last memories of me to be hurtful. With the apothecary’s visit, I now had everything I needed to go through with what I had been planning.

“Are you really going to marry Alexander?”

“
Yes, I am.”

She spun around in protest. “Why? I know you don’t like him. Why are you doing this? I don’t understand!”

I smiled warmly at her unwavering concern. “It’s just something I have to do, Penelope. In time, you’ll understand. Why don’t you head home for the evening and spend some time with your father.”

Despite the reassuring smile I was giving her, I could tell that she wasn’t done worrying. She gave me a tight hug before heading for the door. “I’m coming back tomorrow, all right? I don’t care how sick you are!”

I smiled and nodded at her. “Of course. Why don’t we eat supper together tomorrow?”

A genuine smile came over her face as she nodded in acceptance of my offer. “Try to get some rest, Highness,” she said as she left and closed the door behind her.

With the wedding only a few days away, I felt a little relieved that I would get to enjoy one more meal with Penelope. It would give me one last chance to enjoy her friendship before freeing her of service, and it would also give me a chance to have her arrange one last meeting with Gentry. Now that I knew I would be able to spend time with each of them before the ceremony, there was but one thing left to do, and I knew it would be the most difficult thing I would ever have to do in this life or the next. I was going to have to say goodbye to Emoren.

With the aid of the apothecary’s drug, I finally slept for the first time in days. It was a dreamless, death-like slumber that I didn’t wake from until nearly mid-day. The breakfast Penelope had left for me had long since gone cold, and the note Gentry must have had her hide beneath my plate spoke of things I had already figured out on my own. I read the message again as I set flame to the piece of paper it was written upon.

Amber, I hope this message finds you well. I’m worried about you. Since you haven’t left your chambers in days, this was the only way I knew to reach you without arousing suspicion. If you can elude your escort on the eve of your wedding, there may be a way to get you outside the castle walls. As for your friend, however, I’m sorry. I’ve been unable to find any way to free him from that place.  Please  forgive me. With or without that boy, Amber, I beg you to leave Ashborne. Please, send word soon. - Gentry

I dropped the piece of paper to the floor and watched it burn. I was grateful for Gentry’s help and concern, but I already knew what must be done. And I would see him soon enough, but not today. Today was already going to take every bit of strength I had in order to endure it; today was the day I would say goodbye to Emoren.

With the burnt ash dancing across my chamber floor in all directions, it was time to go. I stood up, took a deep breath and headed out the door. The sunlight from the corridor windows stung my eyes, and even the guards seemed surprised to see me. I didn’t even bother to acknowledge their presence as I closed my chamber door and started walking.

A few hours later, I found myself walking in circles around the courtyard. The escort that had grown tired of following me was now watching me from the courtyard wall they were resting up against. What started out as a trip to see Emoren had turned into hours of self-reflection and second-guessing. I had every intention of going to see him today, but nothing could have prepared me for the arduous, anxiety-inducing walk to his cell. I knew he deserved much more than what I was giving him, and I already felt guilty for having waited this long to see him, but I needed to be certain that I didn’t overlook another way out of this for him; for both of us. This was one time in my life where I couldn’t afford any mistakes.

I finally sat myself down on one of the courtyard benches and began running through everything in my mind once again. But the more I analyzed and grasped for a solution, the more it became apparent that acceptance of the wedding was the only hope I had of saving Emoren. I thought about trying to drug the guards and freeing him myself, but there would be no way for us to escape the barracks without being noticed. I thought about trying to rally the White Torch knights to revolt against my father, but I knew that would only get hundreds of innocent men killed. Even if I could somehow manage to convince every knight under my command to raid the Royal Guards’ barracks in an attempt to save Emoren, that because of the endless maze of hallways and cells, we would have no chance of winning, even with our superior numbers.

I sighed quietly to myself as I stared off into space. I had thought I was already passed this, that I had already accepted what I must do, but I guess the warrior-princess that Gentry had raised was still looking for a way to win. If I was going to go through with this, I needed to convince the voice inside me that this was the only way.

No more death. No more fighting. There’s only one life left to take and this battle will finally be over. Marry Alexander, ensure Emoren’s release, and you will find salvation at the bottom of that apothecary’s vial. Never again will anyone be a victim of father’s malice toward me,
I told her.

Calming the voice inside seemed to work. As I sat there and watched the passersby from the Trader’s Square, for the first time, I began to feel a sense of peace with what lay ahead of me; a sense of acceptance. Even though it might hurt the people I cared about most, I knew this was what was best for everyone, especially Emoren.

It didn’t feel like I was giving up on them, but rather that I was giving them the greatest gift I could. With my passing, no longer would my father would have reason to hurt those I cared for. They could all live, fall in love and grow old without fear of being used as leverage against me. And without my life to fuel his hatred, I was certain that my father would become a recluse inside these walls and die a sad and lonely man. I felt that, in a sad, depressing, selfless kind of way, my death would finally bring him some amount of peace before his end.

I nodded to myself in complete acceptance of my fate and looked around the courtyard I grew up in. Despite everything I had been through as the Princess of Ashborne, I was thankful that my mind was able to recall some good memories from growing up in this kingdom: starting my first day of training with Gentry and trying to wield a sword that was twice my size; playing in this very courtyard with Penelope and hiding among the bushes from the servants who were supposed to be watching us; staying too long in the tavern with Gentry and the knights when we all knew we had training the next day; and even kissing a boy who risked his life to hide in my chambers.

They were good memories, and I still had time to create a few more. I wanted to make sure that my last few days in Ashborne were spent around those I loved, showing them how much I cared for them, starting with Emoren. Finally being able to understand what I was doing and what I was giving to him, I was ready to see him. No, I wanted to see him. But just as I was about to rise from the bench I was seated on, a dirty, cloak-wearing peasant knelt down at my feet.

“
Clean your boots, Your Highness?” he said with his knees, face, and palms all pressed against the ground in front of me.

His clothes were tattered, worn, and covered in dirt. It was obvious that this poor man was looking to provide a service in exchange for a little bit of money.

“That’s very kind of you, but I don’t have time today. Allow me to pay you in advance for next time.” I knew there wasn’t going to be a next time, but that was all right. It’s not like I would have any need for money soon anyway. I began rummaging through my pouch for something of value.

His tone changed immediately as he slowly raised his head from the ground. “Princess Amber, I implore you to allow me to clean your boots. You must hear what I have to say.”

I quickly looked down and peered inside the dirty cloak covering this peasant’s dust-covered face, and I couldn’t believe my eyes at who was staring back at me.

“
Belafor?!”

“
Yes. Please, remove your boots and keep your voice down.”

I looked around and surveyed the military presence inside the courtyard. Aside from my two escorts, there was only the occasional soldier passing through the courtyard among the other passersby, and aside from the routine glances they always gave me as the Princess of Ashborne, none of them seemed particularly interested in the peasant at my feet.

I casually removed my boots as Belafor pulled a rag and flask of water from inside his cloak. “What are you doing here? Why are you dressed like that?”

Belafor doused the rag with water, took my foot in his hand and began gently cleaning it. Cleansing the feet of those you served was considered one of the most humble acts of loyalty a peasant could preform. I knew he wasn’t here to pledge his fealty to me. This was all a ruse to conceal his true intentions from the soldiers surrounding us.

“We don’t have much time. Listen to me carefully, Princess,” he said. “You must convince Emoren to escape.”

“
How- How did you know he was being held captive?”

“
I know everything, Highness.”

“
Then you know Emoren isn’t in our regular dungeons. He-”

“
He’s in the last torture cell in an area of the druid prison beneath the Royal Guards’ barracks, is he not?”

“
H- How do you know that?!”

“
Because I’m the one who had him moved to that specific cell…”

I was shocked. I couldn’t figure out how he knew any of this. None of it made sense.

“I… I don’t understand.”

“
Princess, listen to me. You must convince Emoren to escape.”

“
What do you mean? The only way out of that place is through the barracks. I’ve agreed to marry Alexander in order to have Emoren released.”

“
Your father has no intentions of releasing Emoren. You should know that better than anyone, Highness,” he said. “Emoren is not a prisoner. From the moment he was locked in that cell, he could have left at any time. He’s stayed in that cell because of you.”

“
Belafor, you’re not making any sense… That place is a tomb. He can’t get out. If he-

“
Just listen!” he urged. “The cell Emoren is in has access to a tunnel that will lead to his freedom. In the corner of the cell wall, there is a stone that has been marked with a small, circular engraving. It’s faint; you would only notice it if you were looking for it.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Emoren had a way to escape this entire time? I had just finished making peace with my fate and was preparing to say goodbye to everyone I loved, and now, here was this man, shattering it all with some absurd story and giving my heart the last thing I needed in this situation - hope. It was taking everything I had to not to slap him in his face.

“Damn you. I’ve made peace with what I need to do to save Emoren. How dare you make up something like this. There’s no such tunnel in that place. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it.”

“
Believe me or not, I know it’s there.”

“
How?”

“
Because I built it… Highness, I was one of the first members of your father’s Royal Guard.”

My mouth dropped open. In the brief time I’ve known this man, I always recognized that he had a very familiar military swagger about him, but never did I think that that was where it came from.

“Your silence suggests that I finally have your attention,” he said. “I will only explain it once, so listen carefully. It was during The Great Purge… Just before I defected, I built that tunnel to try and save the life of someone very special to me. I’ve been in Ashborne since the day after you two arrived. And when I got word of Emoren’s abduction, I immediately used what little leverage I had left inside the Royal Guard to gain information and have him moved to that cell.”

“
When Emoren brought you to Shadowbark, I wanted to show him how dangerous it was for him to be involved with anyone from Ashborne, so I gave him this,” he said as he flashed the old, brown journal Emoren was always reading from inside his cloak.

“
Emoren’s journal?”

“
Before it was Emoren’s, it was the journal of the woman I tried to save. It tells of many things, including the tunnel in that cell. As I said, I can only assume that the reason he hasn’t used it yet is because of you.”

Despite still struggling to process everything Belafor was telling me, that did sound like something Emoren would do. “I- I’m sorry, Belafor.”

He reached into his cloak and handed me a small loaf of bread and continued cleaning my boots.

“
Whats this?”

“
I’ve baked a vial of fern medicine inside this bread. I know you have access to Emoren. Go. See with your own eyes that what I’m saying is the truth. You are to give that to Emoren and tell him whatever you need to tell him in order to convince him to escape,” he said. “You must understand, Princess, whether you realize it or not, Emoren’s life is of far greater importance than mine, yours, and even this kingdom… You
must
convince him to leave, even if it means taking your own life so that he has no reason to stay.”

Belafor glanced over at my escort, who had begun to take notice of his lingering presence. He quickly placed my feet back inside my boots.

“Give me some money,” he urged.

“
What?”

“
Hurry, just do it. I’ve stayed too long.”

I quickly found a piece of silver in my pouch and handed it to him as he began to rise to his feet and put on a show for the guards who were now watching us both.

“Oh, thank you, Your Highness! You’re as generous as you are beautiful!”

He reached for my hand and brought it to his forehead as he bowed and whispered, “From this moment forward, I’ll await Emoren with ready horses just inside the forest to the East. Remember, his life is worth far more than both of our own. You
must
convince him. I leave the rest to you, Princess.”

As I watched Belafor disappear into the streets just beyond the courtyard, I gently squeezed the loaf of bread he had given me. The center was firm with whatever was baked inside, and it began to give truth to his words.

My heart started beating intensely as my mind swirled with the many questions Belafor had left me to struggle with. What did he mean about Emoren’s life being more valuable than the entire kingdom? If Emoren knew about the tunnel, why wouldn’t he have told me about it? Why wouldn’t he have used it?

There were so many things I didn’t understand, but if what he had said was true, that Emoren could escape from that place, then it meant there was still hope for our love after all. But, before I could begin to let myself hope and abandon the plan I had already begun to set in motion, I needed to see Emoren.