Vain - Part Two (The Vain Series Book 2) (5 page)

"It's my birthday next Friday." I slip my feet into the boots I left in Noah's living room before he pulled me into his bedroom. "There's going to be a party."

"With funny hats and streamers?" He smiles down at me. The darkness that had settled over his gaze when he was talking about the stabbing has now been replaced by a light behind his eyes. He's more open. I want to ask about the woman and what their relationship is like now but I can't. That window closed back in the bedroom when he pulled me into his arms and held me in silence.

"Sadie's planning it, so probably." I shrug with a small smile. "Do you want to come?"

His features soften. He shifts quickly from one foot to the other. "I don't know."

I reach up to run my finger along the frown line on his forehead. "It's okay if you don't want to." I wince after I say the words. "I mean, if you don’t feel comfortable."

His shoulders slump forward a touch. "Where is at? Your place?"

"My place is as big as a closet." I roll my eyes. "It's at Axel. Sadie's husband owns it."

"Bernie will be there?" He crosses his arms across his chest before sliding his hand up to his face. "I like Bernie."

"Bernie isn't into me." I grab my chest. "It breaks my heart but I'm not his type."

"What's his type?" He taps his index finger against his lip. It does little to hide the grin that has spread across his face.

"You?" I tease. "He's seen you naked, hasn't he?" I nod down to where Noah's dick is hanging between his legs.

"More than once," he answers with effortless ease.

"Why don’t you wear clothes?" I've asked him it before but I've never got a straight answer.

"I don't like clothes." He lifts his brows slightly. "You shouldn’t wear clothes either."

"I agree," I admit. "I can't exactly work at the school naked though. There is a dress code."

"Their loss," he tosses back. "Let's talk about your birthday more."

I glance at my phone, realizing how late it's getting. I have to be at the school by seven in the morning. It's near two now so I only have a few hours to sleep. "Next time?" I touch his forearm. "I need to go. It's late."

"Tell me what you want for your birthday." He ignores my plea to leave.

"What I want?" I parrot back. "As in what I want for a gift?"

"Yes." A dazzling smile carries into his eyes. "If you could have anything in the world what would it be?"

I scratch my hairline as I study his expression. He's waiting impatiently for me to answer, shuffling back and forth on his heels. I soak in the sight of his relaxed stance, his beautiful body and his joy in asking me such a personal question.

I look down as I search for an answer. "There's one thing."

"Anything," he purrs. "Tell me what it is."

***

I stare in stunned silence, my mind trying to catch up to the images my eyes are absorbing. "Noah." His name escapes my lips in a heated rush. "I didn't mean this."

"You asked for a small print of one of your pictures." His broad arm sweeps across the bright room. I'd noticed the closed door to this room each time I've been here but I've never asked what it contained. I'd just assumed it was another bedroom. "Choose one."

I reach for his arm to steady my balance. "I can’t."

"Alexa." His grin is wide and genuine. "Choose one and I'll make a smaller print."

Setting off I start towards the first of more than a dozen large photographs hung on the walls of the room. Each a different image of me, all of them displaying my nude body but not one contains a hint of my face. I study one before moving to the next, marvelling in the detail, stunned by the beauty of my skin and the softness of the poses. The mole, I've always hated that sits above my right breast, looks perfect. The softness of my stomach that I often berate myself for only adds to the nuance of the poses. The sensuality each photograph exudes is subtle and understated. "These are so breathtaking, Noah."

"These are beautiful," he says, his breath rushing over my cheek as he leans down to kiss me softly. "The breathtaking ones are over here."

I turn abruptly and wrap my fingers in his hair, pulling his mouth into a lush, deep and heated kiss. "There are more?"

"Come." He sweeps my hand into his. "I'll show you."

I let him guide me to a large desk positioned near the doorway. Several computer monitors sit atop it, each displaying a different image.

"Look at this one." He points to the first monitor and it's a close up image of me in his bed. I'm smiling directly at the camera. My hair is a jumbled mess. My eyes are dancing with joy. "I took that after you woke up. I was telling you about how I became a photographer and you fell asleep."

I remember that moment. I look so peaceful in the picture. I look so completely different in it than when I look at myself in the mirror.

"This one is gorgeous." He pushes his hand towards another monitor on the opposite edge of the desk. "I stare at this one for hours."

I gaze at it and my breath stalls. I'm on my back, my hands lazily resting over my head, my lips slightly parted. "I look so different."

"No," he whispers into my neck. "You look exactly like that."

"That's not my favorite though." He touches a mouse sitting atop the desk and a monitor in the middle pops on. "This is the one I'll never get enough of."

I lower myself into the chair as my eyes lock on the photograph. My chin is tilted slightly to the left. I'm gazing into the distance and my bottom lip is caught between my top teeth. It's obvious from the angle of the image that I had no idea it was being taken. "When did you take this?"

"The first day." He falls to one knee next to the chair. "When I told you I was checking the lighting. I saw it that night when I was reviewing our work. That's when I knew you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen."

"There's going to be a huge surprise at your birthday party." Sadie lifts her head and offers an overly sweet smile.

"Is it a male stripper?" I bounce my eyebrows up and down playfully. "Can you get him to dress up like a police officer? I have this fantasy about being pulled over by a cop and frisked."

Her mouth literally falls open.

"That's not the surprise?" I throw my hands in the air. "Dammit, Sadie. It's not that you baked cupcakes, is it?"

"You're teasing me." She breathes an overly dramatic sigh. "I can't hire a male stripper. What would Hunter say?"

"Hunter is coming to my birthday party?" I hope that there's no lingering tease in my tone. Sadie's husband has always been busy when we've hung out. I'm not on his list of best friends and he sure as hell isn't on mine. As much as I've tried to get over my initial misgivings about him, I'll always remember how hard their budding relationship was on my closest friend.

"He wants to be there," she says it a little too nonchalantly.

"That's because he thinks I'll trash the place if I get drunk."

"It's because of the huge surprise we got you."

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to conjure up an image of what the two of them could have gotten for me that was so monumental that Hunter was going to forgo an evening with his son to hang out with me. "Give me a hint." I open my eyes.

Her head shakes seamlessly back and forth. "No hints, Alexa. It's three days away. You can wait."

I can wait. She's right about that. I don’t even want to go to the party knowing Noah likely won't show. I'd spoken to him on the phone earlier today and with my rushed schedule this week because of parent and teacher interviews in the evenings, we agreed that I'd visit him at his apartment on Saturday for our own personal birthday celebration. He hadn't mentioned my party and I knew that bringing it up would only make Noah uncomfortable and would disappoint me even more.

***

"It's a Brighton Beck original," Sadie screams as I pull on the edge of the patterned wrapping paper.

"God, no," I whisper under my breath. Please tell me that I misheard that. I rip the rest of the paper free and mutter a curse to myself. It's indeed a Brighton Beck original watercolor.

What. The. Fuck.

"Do you like it?" Sadie's arms are wrapped around my neck in what feels like a chokehold. The fact that I feel as though I can't breathe likely has very little to do with the fact that she's hugging me and more to do with the reminder of the man I wasted a semester in Paris on. I get it fate. This is what a cruel twist feels like.

"It's…" No. Just no. Please someone knock me unconscious and make this nightmare end. That is not Brighton walking through the doors of the restaurant. Where is the happy part of the birthday? So far, it's been shit. With a classroom of unruly children to manage on my own because Natalie had cramps, Noah's very brief text telling me to have a happy day and now Brighton's presence at my party, I may just give up birthdays all together for the remainder of my sad excuse for an existence.

"Is that Beck? Your Beck?" Kayla whispers into my ear. "Alexa? You were fucking Brighton Beck?"

"Don't remind me," I scowl. "Don't tell, Sadie. She worships the bastard."

Kayla gives me a weak hug from behind as Sadie races over to greet Brighton. His eyes drop briefly to her face before they settle back on me. My mind is telling me to grab my bag and run for the door, but I can't do that to Sadie. I need to swallow my pride, hide behind a mask of fake obliviousness and act like I actually don't know him.

"This is my friend, Alexa." Sadie holds out her hand to grab mine. "She's a big fan of yours."

Shut up, Sadie. Shut the hell up. I am not a fan of this man. I can't stand the sight of this man. "Hi," I manage in a weak voice.

"Happy Birthday, Alexa." He reaches to take my hand from Sadie's and pulls in to his mouth. His lips skirt over my palm before he gives it a tight squeeze. "You're lovely."

I can actually hear Sadie's heavy sigh at the words. She's never been quiet about her love for Brighton Beck and the fact that she has one of his paintings hanging in the bedroom of her apartment is reason enough for me to understand her deep fascination with him, but this, this is too much.

"You didn't have to come all the way to Boston for this," I say the words sweetly although their meaning contains a sharp bite. "I wish you wouldn’t have come."

"Alexa," Sadie snaps. "Brighton took time out of his very busy schedule to come here for this. Don’t be rude."

"I doubt that your friend is being intentionally rude, Sadie." Brighton flashes his signature dimpled grin. "She's just overwhelmed by my presence."

Seriously? Did he actually just say that I was overwhelmed by his presence? "It's not that," I intervene. "I just know that you have a girlfriend who needs your attention," I purr through clenched teeth. "It's everywhere in the papers. What is her name? Liz?"

"I heard about that," Sadie jumps in before Brighton can respond. "She was hurt very badly, wasn't she? We talked about it in class."

"In class?" His gaze narrows. "What do you mean?"

"Medical school," she says proudly. "We were talking about some of her injuries. The ones that the news was reporting on."

He nods briefly and his neck twitches. "I'd like a moment alone with your friend to explain the delicate subtleties of the painting you purchased for her."

"Of course." Sadie smiles as she falls for his bullshit, hook, line and sinker.  "I'll be right over there if you need anything."

I lean back on my heel wanting to widen the distance between Brighton and I. "Why did you come? Why?"

"You've been ignoring me since I saw you in New York." He nods an acknowledgement to a couple standing several feet away from us. "We need to talk about things."

"There's nothing left to talk about." I dart my gaze back to where Sadie is standing next to Hunter. "My friend has no idea about what we did in Paris. She can't know."

He nods and looks past me. "You haven't let me explain a thing since you left Paris."

I pivot on my heel, wanting to turn and walk away but knowing if I do he'll chase me down. This is the moment in time that I've been dreading. It's when I have to face Brighton and finally put all the cards on the table. "Let's go outside." I point towards the door of the restaurant. "This is about to get ugly."

Maybe it was supposed to be like this. Perhaps I was always meant to spend the night of my twenty-third birthday putting the past behind me. I'd been avoiding discussing anything with Brighton to this point and now he'd dropped from the universe into the middle of my birthday party. Tonight I was finally going to get the closure I so desperately needed.

"I love you, Alexa."

Oh hell. No. Just no.

"I love you," he repeats as if I didn't hear it the first time. 

"What?" I snap. "You didn't just say that to me."

"I did."

"Fuck you, Beck." My stomach tenses. "Don't pull that shit on me. You've never loved me. We both know it. You never said it."

"I'm saying it now."

My mouth hangs open for a second while I contemplate the words. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm being honest," he goes on. "I was a coward in Paris. I'm not that man anymore."

"You're the same man." My tone is severe and clipped. "You haven't changed a bit."

He lowers his head and takes a heavy swallow. "She never loved me."

"Who?" I temper my pitch, not wanting to draw any more attention to us than is already there. Sadie keeps peering through the window to where the two of us are standing on the street in front of the restaurant.  "Liz?"

He exhales harshly. "She's never gotten over the guy who died in the car that day. She can't get over him."

"What guy?" My response is intuitive, not introspective. I don't care what guy he's talking about. I don't care about any of it.

"She was with a man the night she got hurt," he says, his gaze darkening slightly. "He died in the car. She was in love with him."

"None of this matters to me." The words sound rushed and harsh. They are. I don’t care who his girlfriend loves or who she used to love. I only care about my heart and Beck's the one who broke it.

"I fucked up in Paris." He shifts his lean body weight from one foot to another. "I brought her to that café so you'd see us."

"I know." I pull my hand across my face. "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

He doesn't look at me when he answers.  "I was confused."

"Confused?" I bite out through clenched teeth. "Confused about what?"

"I was falling so hard and fast for you, Alexa." His voice is a tempered growl. "I thought Liz loved me and then when I was with you, I saw real love in your eyes. It scared the fuck out of me."

"Is everything okay?" Sadie's head juts out from around the doorway. "Brighton, is there anything you need?"

I close my eyes wishing that the last fifteen minutes of my life never happened.

***

"You can't leave yet." Sadie whines from behind the large wineglass that is at her lips. "It's early still. It's your birthday, Alexa."

I stare past her to where Brighton is seated. He's talking to a group of people I went to high school with. From the look of awe on each of their faces, they're smitten with his presence. I, on the other hand, have had more than my fill of Brighton Beck for the night. "It's been a long week with work and stuff," I lie convincingly. "I'm going to take off and crawl into bed."

"What about the painting?" She motions towards the gift that she and Hunter so graciously bought for me. Judging by the cost of Brighton's work, it must have cost several thousand dollars. I know they're not pinching any pennies, but the gesture is too much, especially since the artist in question just poured his heart out to me on the street.

"Can you take it home tonight and then I'll pick it up next week?"

I see disappointment wash over her face. I feel badly but there's no way I can have that painting in my apartment tonight. The emotional burden of its reminder is more than I can bear. I just want to go home, shut the world off and wish the past year of my life away.

"I'll bring it over on Monday night," she offers through a forced smile. "I'll bring Cory too. He likes hanging out at your place."

The suggestion that she bring her stepson is welcome. She typically only brings him with her when we're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. It's a subtle, yet telling, clue that she's not happy with me.

"I love you, Sadie." I pull her into a close embrace. "Thank you for everything. I loved my party."

She kisses my cheek softly before she pulls away. "This year is going to be amazing for you, Alexa. I can feel it."

I smile at her through heavy eyes. All I can feel is numbness and regret. Next year, I need to remind myself to insist on a party free birthday.