Valiant (34 page)

Galen looked completely bewildered. I leaned even closer, and dropped a featherlight kiss on the corner of his eye, the place that crinkled when he smiled.

He grew still, so still.

“I love the way you look at me, Galen Verras.”

I put my hand to his face. His jaw fit perfectly in my palm. I kissed him again, ever so lightly, on his mouth, and pulled away so that he could see me, swollen face and overflowing eyes.

Crying shows your soft spot
, that piece of your heart the armor can’t cover.

Just this once, I wouldn’t hide it.

I looked Galen full in the face, and found the courage I needed. “I love you.”

His hand closed around my wrist. Then he turned his head to press a kiss against my palm. But he was sad, so very sad. “I—”

I shook my head. “It’s my turn. You said it earlier, and I won’t let you be the only one. I love you. I know that you’ll be going to your falcon lady or that she’ll be coming here, and it makes me wish there was still a war with the giants so I could just … hit something. I wish I could have fought with you tonight and walked away after it.” I swallowed. “But that would have been too easy.”

Then I twisted my wrist in his grasp, just as he and done to me. He was weak enough that he had to let me go. I stood and stepped away from the bed.

“Saville.” Galen looked at me like I was velvet and silk all in one, like he never wanted to stop looking. “I wish …”

I took another step back. “You are the finest man I’ve ever known. You are the story that was true, even if you aren’t mine. I wanted you to know. I wanted you to hear me say it.”

I turned and left, knowing he wouldn’t be able to follow.

S
till, I listened
for Galen as I walked to Will’s room. I listened for his footsteps. For his voice.

I didn’t hear a thing.

“The boy kept asking for you,” the nurse told me when I reached Will’s room. “The doctor gave him another draught, so he’ll sleep a while yet.”

I sat on the bed beside him. He stirred and turned toward me. His mouth was half-open, and he snored softly.

The nurse blew out one of the candles and reached for the other.

“Please leave it,” I told her. If Will woke, I wanted there to be some light.

The dim was comforting and Will’s presence was comforting, so when the tears started, I didn’t try to stop them.

I’d thought Galen would come after me. I didn’t know it until then.

I told myself I was glad I’d told him everything. And I was.

I told myself he was doing the honorable thing. And he was.

I still felt as if I’d been broken open. I fell asleep clinging to the memory of his jaw against my palm, his lips under mine.

How different it was to walk through the castle the next day! Servants I didn’t know nodded to me. Those who spoke to me called me Miss Gramton, and whispers followed me like the train of a gown.

I found Lord Cinnan in the corridor outside the king’s suite.

“How is the king?” I asked.

“He insisted on meeting with me this morning. He dictated messages for his allies, explaining all that had happened. I have already given them to riders. I’m proud of him.” He paused as if weighing something. “He asked to see you.”

I waited, knowing he hadn’t said everything he intended.

After a moment, Lord Cinnan whispered, “The doctors are worried.…”

“Can I see him.”

Lord Cinnan nodded and opened the door. “Your Majesty, Miss Gramton is here.”

“Good! I would like to talk to her about a coat.…”

I glanced at Lord Cinnan, who shook his head. Princess Lissa sat beside her brother’s bed. She nodded at me as I joined her, her face drawn.

King Eldin was flushed. His eyes shone with fever and looked all the brighter for the shadows that hollowed his cheeks.

He squinted up at me. “I forgot, Miss Gramton. You don’t sew anymore, do you?”

Sky above. “I might make an exception for you, Your Majesty.”

“What do you suggest? And why didn’t you bring your fabric?”

I looked down at the bed, uncertain, and saw the king’s left hand. The stained bandages smelled like meat that had been left too long in the sun.

I looked at Princess Lissa, horrified.

“Don’t feel bad, Miss Gramton,” said King Eldin. “I forgive the mistake. Just bring the fabric next time.” For a moment, his eyes cleared, and he whispered. “I’m glad you came.”

“I am, too.” I forgot to keep my voice even. “Don’t worry about the coat, Your Majesty. I’ll begin right away.”

“The doctors will have to take his hand,” said Lord Cinnan, once we’d left the king. “They’re preparing right now. If they can catch it fast enough …”

I nodded.

“Lord Verras is healing well, though,” said Lord Cinnan. “He’s still sleeping and shows no sign of fever.”

I wondered how much he knew.

“I need to leave the castle for a little. I want to see Volar.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You shouldn’t walk alone in the city. You might be mobbed yet. But … you may walk along the
ramparts with Princess Lissa and me this afternoon. She must give Volar a message from the king.”

“Thank you,” I breathed.

“You are easily pleased,” he said. “The king mentioned you this morning as he dictated orders. His fever was not so strong then. There’s a set of rooms on the east side of the castle. You can see the Kriva and the East Guardian from its balcony. You’ll be moved there today.”

“And Will? He shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“He can move to a small room adjoining yours.”

“Thank you. It’s very kind of the king.”

“Don’t be silly. It would be exhausting to calculate what is owed right now. That sort of arithmetic would break the mind of the best mathematician.”

Two hours later, Lord Cinnan, the princess, and I stood on the ramparts over the gates. The soldiers shifted uneasily. But the sadness I’d felt in the castle rolled from me.

I loved the wind up on the wall, the way it tugged at my hair and my skirt. It was like a child begging to be noticed. And what a world to be noticed! The Kriva, with its throaty murmur, swept along below us, and the giant camp no longer terrified me.

I leaned against the wall, hands on the rough stone, and studied the camp. The duke’s tent had been removed, as had the pens. But something else had changed. I supposed it was
the way the giants moved. There was no tension, no readiness to leap into a fight. The giants walked between rows of tents the way people walked down the streets of Reggen, arms swinging, stopping to talk with friends.

And there was singing. I couldn’t understand the words, but the melody reminded me of the land Volar had described: mountains rising out of the ocean, stately halls carved into mountainsides, silver in the moonlight.

At Lord Cinnan’s signal, one of the guards blew a complex series of notes on a horn. Soon, Volar strode toward us and stopped at the gates. We were level with his forehead.

Princess Lissa curtsied. “I greet you, King Volar, in the name of King Eldin. My brother wished to come himself, but he is not well enough.”

Volar nodded solemnly. I walked away so that they could speak in private. I didn’t mind. It gave me time to listen to the giants’ song. It had changed, and I would have sworn by the ebb and rush of the melody that it was about the sea.

I was so engrossed that Lord Cinnan had to call me back.

“I was listening to the song,” I explained. “It’s lovely. Is it about the sea, Volar?”

He nodded. “The ships that travel the sea, yes. How did you know?”

“I could hear it.” I leaned over the edge of the wall.

Volar thought a moment. “Would you like to hear more? I will take you to them.”

“I’m not sure that would be wise, Miss Gramton,” said
Lord Cinnan. “If anything should happen … The city is still distrustful.”

I glanced at Volar. “Then perhaps it will help the city to see the champion in the camp.”

Lord Cinnan scowled. “I can’t guarantee your safety.”

“I can,” said Volar. “I will.”

I leaned over the wall. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Why?” he asked, raising his hands level with the wall.

I grinned at Lord Cinnan.

“No. Absolutely not, Miss Gramton!”

But I was already hoisting myself up. Lord Cinnan had no choice but to lend me a steadying hand. I let the wind tangle itself in my hair as I listened to the giants’ song.

Then I looked back over my shoulder. Princess Lissa stood straight and tall, the wind pulling at her skirts, her eyes hungry. I remembered how much she’d wanted to join Galen and me on the ramparts. “Come with me.”

She stood even straighter, as if she couldn’t even consider something so irresponsible. Then she smiled slowly, gathered her skirts, and joined me on the wall’s edge.

Volar’s hands caught us up, and he carried us across the Kriva.

I visited the giant camp many times over the next week. They were joyous trips in an otherwise dark time. King Eldin’s fever lingered even after the doctors removed his hand. The castle
halls grew quiet, and subdued servants whispered as they went about their duties.

One afternoon, I sat beside King Eldin and sang the songs I’d learned from the giants. They had a wildness to them. I hoped the melodies reminded the king of sunshine and wind and the sound of water.

But he remained quiet in his bed.

“I think it helps him,” said the princess. She’d been busy attending to the affairs of Reggen, yet she still sat with her brother every day.

“It helps
me
.”

The princess slid a slender finger into her book to mark the page. “Galen left his sickroom today.”

My breath knotted in my throat. “Oh?”

She made an impatient sound and tossed her book onto a nearby table. “Did you really think I hadn’t noticed? Or that I’d scold you? At least Galen trusts me enough to ask about you.”

“He does?”

She smiled, and was kind enough not to make me ask. “I told him you were well. That you play with Will. You read to me. You’re sewing a coat for Eldin.…” Her voice faltered as she looked down at her brother. “That surprised him.”