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Authors: Ryan Field

Tags: #Erotica, #Romance, #Fiction

Valley of the Dudes (24 page)

BOOK: Valley of the Dudes
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It was his mother. She was calling because her last check hadn’t arrived. Her voice

 

sounded hollow in the small phone, and each word she mouthed echoed because it was a

 

bad connection. The room started to spin in circles and he pressed his palm to his

 

forehead, forcing his voice to remain natural. He clenched one fist against his head and

 

told her he’d just mailed her a check from New York and she should be getting it

 

tomorrow. He almost told her about his cancer. He even began the sentence with,

 

“There’s something I have to tell you….” But she interrupted him and started talking

 

about what his next career plan was. She thought it might be wise for him to do more porn flicks. She said the money was good and she reminded him he wasn’t getting any

 

younger.

 

While she was talking about the type of porn he should do, he clicked off the TV.

 

Then he reached to the nightstand and opened a full bottle of dudes. He stared at the

 

bottle for a moment, then started taking the pills. He popped them into his mouth three

 

and four at a time, washing them down with a warm glass of tap water. When the entire

 

bottle was empty, he told his mother he was tired and he’d call her the next morning.

 

Chapter Twenty One

 

While Lance was in the bedroom packing to leave for New York, Cody was

 

outside in the pool. Cody had been staying with Rush and Lance. When he’d been

 

discharged from the clinic, Rush had insisted on taking him back to Malibu so he

 

wouldn’t go back to an empty house in the Hollywood Hills alone. At first, Cody had

 

refused, hating the thought of imposing on them. But Rush insisted with such strength

 

Cody finally agreed. And he wouldn’t be there for long anyway. He had also agreed to

 

star in the new Broadway show,
Jump as High as You Can,
and he was moving back to

 

New York to begin rehearsal. Lance was going with him, and he’d be commuting back

 

and forth to the West Coast. Bart Hasslet thought it would be best for the show if Lance

 

went. Cody still had to prove he wasn’t taking drugs anymore and Bart wanted Lance

 

there to support him. Rush wasn’t happy about Lance going back to New York, but he

 

knew it was the best thing for Cody, whom he considered one of his best friends.

 

Rush turned on the TV and pulled a bag of fresh coffee beans out of the closet.

 

Cody and Lance were leaving for the airport in less than an hour and Rush wanted Lance

 

to at least have a cup of coffee and a glass of juice before he left. While he was

 

measuring the coffee, Cody walked into the kitchen and said good morning. He was

 

completely naked, drying the front of his body with a large black towel. Rush smiled and

 

stared down at the coffee maker, but he was clenching his teeth. Rush and Lance’s

 

Malibu home was casual and simple, but Rush thought Cody should have been wearing

 

something—at least a pair of briefs. If Rush had been a guest in someone’s home, he

 

wouldn’t have been walking around stark naked as if it were perfectly normal. While Cody was drying his body, Lance walked into the kitchen with his suitcases.

 

He was wearing a black T-shirt and a tight pair of low-rise jeans. Rush switched on the

 

coffee maker and smiled. He was about to move from behind the counter to kiss Lance

 

good morning when Cody tossed the large towel over the back of a stool and fell into

 

Lance’s arms. He hugged Lance, rubbing his naked body against Lance’s tight jeans, and

 

said, “I’m so glad you’re coming to New York with me. I don’t know what I’d do

 

without you. I’m going to need someone strong.” His voice was low and meek: a

 

sickening, breathy stage whisper.

 

Lance smiled and tapped his shoulders. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Lance said, waving his arm. “I’m looking forward to spending

 

some time in New York. I miss it.”

 

Rush smoothed out his hair and smiled. He was wearing a pair of loose plaid

 

lounge pants and a wrinkled white T-shirt. Cody’s naked back and sweet, firm ass was

 

exposed to him. Rush raised one eyebrow and gave Lance a look. He felt like snapping a

 

wet dish towel against Cody’s bare ass. But he smiled and said, “Why don’t you go up

 

and get dressed, Cody? Your coffee will be ready by the time you get down. You don’t

 

want to miss the flight.” He continued to smile and kept his voice upbeat. But inside he

 

was seething. He’d noticed Cody had a semi-erection and it was pressing into Lance’s

 

jeans.

 

When Cody stepped back, Lance pointed to the TV screen and shouted, “Look,

 

isn’t that Harriet on TV? Turn up the volume.”

 

Rush turned up the volume, then handed Cody the large towel. “You’d better put

 

this on,” he said. “It’s chilly this morning.” Cody took the towel and wrapped it around his waist. He smiled and said, “I am a

 

little cold. I don’t want to get sick before rehearsal even starts. And I really shouldn’t be

 

walking around naked in front of Lance this way.”

 

Lance was staring at the TV. He waved his arm and said, “Nonsense. We’re all

 

guys. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Rush pressed his lips together and folded his arms across his chest.

 

They all turned toward the television. Rush thought it was going to be a

 

promotion or something for Anderson. But when he saw that Harriet was walking next to

 

a stretcher, he took a quick breath. There was a dead person on the stretcher, covered in a

 

brown body bag. Harriet was wearing dark glasses, a dark coat, and she was holding a

 

handkerchief. There were photographers and reporters all around her. A man in a dark

 

suit who looked like a police detective was holding her elbow. Someone shoved a

 

microphone in Harriet’s face and she pushed it away with a quick swipe. When the TV

 

announcer said that Anderson, who was well known for his adult films, had been found

 

dead that morning in a hotel room outside San Francisco, in an alleged suicide, Rush

 

pressed his palm to his chest and gasped. His knees felt weak and his heart starting

 

beating faster.

 

“Oh my God,” Cody cried, gripping the back of a stool. “I thought he was doing

 

so well, too. I knew he was upset over Joey. But he became so successful overnight.” He

 

paused. “I can’t say I’m shocked, though. These porn people never have happy endings.”

 

Rush glared at Cody for a moment. He sounded too smug for someone with his

 

own drug problems. Then he turned to the TV and watched them lift Anderson’s body

 

into the back of an ambulance. He watched Harriet wipe a tear from her left eye. “I had no idea Anderson was that bad,” Rush said. “I should have insisted on keeping in touch

 

with him. I should have been there for him. I’ll never forgive myself for this.”

 

Lance put his arm around Rush and hugged him. “You can’t blame yourself,” he

 

said. “Sometimes people do these things and we never know why. Anderson knew you

 

were his friend. He loved you very much.” Then he shook his head and said, “It’s so

 

sad.”

 

* * * *

 

In the months that followed, it was officially determined that Anderson had

 

overdosed on dudes. The reports called them barbiturates, but Rush was all too familiar

 

with the term “dudes.” The death was officially classified as a suicide. But it also became

 

public knowledge, after an autopsy, that Anderson had been in the final stages of

 

pancreatic cancer. When Harriet heard about the cancer, she contacted Anderson’s doctor

 

in New York and insisted he hold a press conference to let the public know that Anderson

 

knew about the cancer before he committed suicide. She arranged the entire event herself.

 

She stood beside the doctor on the platform, wiping tears from her eyes while he spoke.

 

It eased Rush’s guilt to know there had been an underlying reason behind

 

Anderson’s suicide, and that Anderson did have a fatal disease. Rush probably couldn’t

 

have done anything to change Anderson’s mind. But that was the only comfort Rush

 

found during that time in his life.

 

While Lance and Cody were in New York, Rush started taking dudes himself. He

 

wasn’t sleeping, and he felt as if his life was spiraling in circles and he couldn’t stop it.

 

Though he spoke frequently to Lance on the phone, he detected omething was missing in

 

their conversations. When Lance had first left for New York, he’d complained about how much he missed Rush and how much he loved him. They even had phone sex in the

 

middle of the night. But as the weeks passed, their phone calls grew shorter and less

 

frequent. Rush noticed changes in Lance’s voice. He was curt and evasive instead of

 

loving and supportive; he was always hanging up fast because he was late for something

 

important. Lance only talked about the new show or other aspects of his work, and he

 

stopped mentioning how much he missed and loved Rush.

 

And there were rumors. Along with every article in the entertainment magazines

 

about Cody’s Broadway comeback and his addiction to drugs, there was a short mention

 

of how close Cody was getting with his handsome agent and attorney, Lance Sharp. They

 

implied Cody and Lance were sleeping together; they implied that Rush, the international

 

male model, was the scorned third party and that Lance was jilting him. Their alleged

 

affair was all over the Internet. Even Harriet called Rush to see if it was true or not. She

 

told Rush, puffing on a cigarette, that she’d always thought he was too good for Lance,

 

and that Cody was nothing more than common street trash. Of course Rush denied all the

 

rumors to everyone. But on the inside, he was falling to pieces.

 

Then one night, after watching a story about Lance and Cody on television, Rush

 

called Lance’s hotel room and Cody answered the phone. It was late, after two in the

 

morning New York time. Rush pretended he wanted to tell Lance something important

 

about a property tax issue regarding the Malibu house. But when Cody answered the

 

phone, Rush’s jaw dropped. Why would Cody be in Lance’s hotel room that late at night?

 

Rush cleared his throat and said, “Ah well, Cody. Is Lance there? I have to tell him

 

something important.” Cody yawned into the receiver. “We just got in. He’s in the shower. I’ll tell him

 

you called.” His voice was light and friendly, as if this were perfectly natural. There was

 

a loud click and a moment of silence. When Cody spoke again, he said, “I’m sorry. I was

 

taking my pants off and I dropped the phone. It landed right in my underwear.” Then he

 

started to laugh.

 

Rush hung up. He didn’t say a word. It sounded as if they were about to have sex.

 

His stomach started to burn and his eyes filled with tears. Evidently, all the rumors he’d

 

been hearing about Lance and Cody were true. He sat in a chair for a long time and

 

stared at the bedroom wall, and then he took four dudes and fell into bed sobbing.

 

The next day, Rush didn’t get out of bed. He waited for Lance to call, wondering

 

if Cody had even bothered to tell Lance he’d called the night before. When Lance finally

 

did call, it was almost midnight New York time.

 

“Are you okay?” Lance asked. His voice was soft and distant.

 

It was hard to speak. He’d taken more dudes and his lips felt numb. “I’m fine,” he

 

said, trying hard to be strong. “I called you last night. Cody answered the phone in your

 

hotel room.” He didn’t want to accuse him, but he wanted the information out in the open

 

to see how Lance would react.

 

Lance sighed. “Look,” he said, “this is difficult. I’m just going to come right out

 

with it. I want to take a break.”

 

Rush laughed—he sounded so businesslike. “You want to take a
break
?” he

 

repeated. “We aren’t dating, Lance. We are supposedly a couple. We can’t get legally

 

married, but I thought we were committed to each other just like a married couple. I thought we were in love. I know I’m still in love with
you
. What happened? Why are you

 

doing this to us?”

 

Lance hesitated. “I don’t know what happened. I’ve been very confused since I

 

arrived in New York. And I’m sorry. I do love you.”

 

“Do you want to ‘
take a break
’ because of Cody? Are you sleeping with Cody

 

now?” Rush asked.

 

“I’m sorry I said I want to take a break,” Lance said. “It was a poor choice of

 

words. I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to go into detail about Cody. He’s still very fragile

 

and very vulnerable. I don’t want him to get hurt with any bad publicity right now.”

 

If Rush hadn’t been on drugs and his entire world hadn’t been crumbling around

 

him, he would have laughed into the phone again. Lance was worried about Cody? There

 

was nothing innocent or fragile about Cody. Cody had been an aggressive viper since the
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