Vampire Dreams_Int.indd (5 page)

“Just forget about it. I’m glad you’re okay.” He’d calmed
down considerably.

“I’m such a hermit, Alexander. All I do is go to work,
come home and work more. Then I go to sleep and hope that
I dream of you.” He seemed to like that. “But it’s pathetic.

I need a life!” He frowned. “I have no family. I miss that.”

I glanced at him sideways. “I met someone at the party.”

His eyes got cold. “His name is Michael. He’s a computer
programmer. Don’t look at me like that! The truth is, he’s
kind of a strange guy, but he gave me a lot of attention and
it was nice. It made me realize I should be doing something
with my life, building a relationship with someone. A family.

I have nobody!”

“I’m not nobody.” Now he looked hurt.

In one sense it was ironic that I found it necessary to comfort
a fi gment of my imagination. But then again, it felt like the
right thing to do. I rol ed over to face him and took his hand
and kissed it. “It’s true, Alexander, you’re not nobody. In
fact, the real truth is this — I wish more than anything . . .

that you were real so we could be our own family.” At that
he smiled. Finally.

† † †

38

Christina Moss

Zoe turned to the fi nal page of the last journal.

† † †

He was unusually cheerful when he arrived last night and
I couldn’t wait to tel him the news.

“How are you tonight, Zoe?” he asked brightly.

“Alexander! Look!” I held up my hand and showed him
the diamond ring. He looked as surprised as I had when
I got it.

“Did Michael give you that?”

“Yes. Alexander! I’l fi nally have a family again!” Fat
tears rol ed down my cheeks. Alexander began to cry as wel . I
knew he’d be happy for me. He reached over and took my hand,
then he kissed the tears from my face with his cool lips.

“Best wishes to you, my beautiful Zoe.” He managed to
choke out through his own tears.

We were still and quiet for some time. Then he said, “You
know, I never told you this but if you ever need me, you just
need to cal me. Before you sleep, just say my name over and
over and picture my face. And I’l come fi nd you. Will you
remember that? Wil you write it in your journal?”

He sounded so serious, and it was such a shift from the
exuberant mood he was in when he arrived, but I was in
heaven because I was engaged. “Oh, Alexander, you know
I always write down my dreams.”

39

Vampire of My Dreams

I must have been really tired last night. After that I just
felt grey and fel asleep.

† † †

Zoe cried as she closed her journal. That last conversation now held much more meaning than it had when she wrote it. She had had no way of knowing it would be the last night she’d dream of Alexander.

She got up, dispersed the embers, and secured the screen in place. Then she began getting ready for bed and as she did she refl ected on something the whole while. By the time she’d climbed into bed she’d come to a decision. She turned out the light, put her head to the pillow and softly called Alexander’s name over and over, and thought only of his face, until she fell asleep.

† † †

The vampire leaned against the green railing along the Charles River on the Cambridge side. He liked that view of the Boston skyline. It was where he went when he had to think, although this time he didn’t want to think. But how could he stop thinking about someone who just wouldn’t leave his thoughts? What he really wanted to understand was why, after fi ve painful years of not seeing Zoe, he just couldn’t stop thinking of her.

Not a night had passed when he didn’t feel tempted to check up on her, maybe just look at her and not even enter her dreams or speak to her. But he knew it to be wrong.

40

Christina Moss

Why was
that
night so much worse than most? Maybe because it was her birthday; maybe it was because he was obsessed with thoughts of her; or maybe it was because on that night her face and scent were exceptionally vivid in his mind.

Of course, he’d brought it all on himself. It was to be his self-infl icted punishment for foolishly getting involved — or so he had it fi gured.

He walked along the river looking into the distance and indulged himself in more memories of various nights with Zoe. He knew he was being weak, but it was pleasant.

Then he heard something! “Alexander, I need you.

Alexander. Alexander. Alexander.” It was Zoe and she was calling him!

He fl ew back to his car faster than humanly possible, but for once, he didn’t care if someone had witnessed how fast he moved and he didn’t care about blowing his identity. The vampire didn’t care about much of anything right then — just that his girl was calling him and he hadn’t seen her in fi ve long years. He jumped into the car and headed for Winchester, ignoring speed limits. Lights began fl ashing behind him and a siren was blaring. Alexander blanketed the cop with a grey cloud and the chase ended.

He fi nally reached her house, jumped out, scaled the wall and entered through her bedroom window. He stopped to look at Zoe sleeping peacefully and all alone. It was a tremendous 41

Vampire of My Dreams

relief to see that she wasn’t hurt. He inhaled her pleasant scent.

Then the vampire blanketed the girl with a cloud of grey, settled on her bed next to her, and entered her dreams.

“Zoe, I’m here! Are you all right?”

She rolled over to face him. “Alexander, you heard me.”

He felt guilty for thinking she looked more beautiful than ever. “Where’s Michael?” he asked.

“He’s gone.”

“Gone where?”

Zoe lifted her left hand to show him her bare fi nger.

“Did he hurt you?” the vampire asked.

“No, it was drugs. I didn’t know. Then when I found out, it was too late.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“I can’t believe you’ve come back.” She began to cry.

Alexander reached over and took her hand. “Zoe, even when you cry, you’re beautiful,” he said. “You’re twenty-nine today.”

“You remembered my birthday,” she said through soggy tears.

“I remembered you on every birthday. I’ve thought of you every day since I saw you last. Zoe?” he asked softly. “Tell me how you feel about me.”

42

Christina Moss

A quick gasping laugh escaped through her tears. “Alexander, it’s my horrible bad luck that the one person I love more than anyone is not only a vampire, but a fi gment of my subconscious mind!”

Alexander choked back his emotion. She had, after all, just said that she loved him. But he knew that she was at a disadvantage in her dream-like state, and in all those years she’d only known him to be a dream. He had to see her when she was awake. “Zoe, would you do something for me?”

She was fi nally done crying. “Anything, Alexander.”

“Tomorrow night at seven o’clock, would you go to the Charles River, Cambridge side, near that bridge? You know the one near MIT?”

Zoe considered his request. “What will I do there?”

“Just go there and think of me. Will you do that for me?”

“If I do, will you promise to come back to my dreams again?”

“Whenever you want. Every night if you want.”

“Okay, Alexander. I’ll go there for you.”

† † †

The next morning, Zoe entered the details of her vampire dream in her journal, just as she’d done years before. Then she made an appointment to see a specialist. She knew she needed 43

Vampire of My Dreams

to have her head examined, since she had fully intended to go to Cambridge that night. She had to be insane to go there just because she’d had a dream.

After thinking about it some more, she called back and cancelled the appointment with the specialist. She feared they’d give her something to prevent her from having dreams and she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing Alexander again.

† † †

It was six fi fty-fi ve p.m. when the cab that Zoe was in pulled up along Memorial Drive in Cambridge. She paid the driver and got out. A cold wind blew but it would be a short walk to the place where she’d promised the vampire of her dreams that she’d be at seven o’clock. She had no expectations of fi nding anything meaningful there, yet she felt a need to be loyal to an illusion — an illusion she wished to see again in her dreams.

At some point she’d cross the Harvard Bridge to the Boston side and have dinner on Newbury Street. She would go to a nice restaurant, a birthday gift to herself. Then she would go home, turn in early and call Alexander’s name once again. She stopped a few yards from the bridge and leaned on the green railing. The refl ection of the pretty skyline and the full moon shimmered on the water. The support arches of the bridge dwindled into the distance as it stretched across the river.

44

Christina Moss

She took in the view and just as she’d promised, she thought of Alexander. She felt certain now that she’d dream of him again. It brought a smile to her face. “Alexander,” she whispered. “I wish . . .”

She stopped when she sensed someone behind her and turned to see a tall and handsome man with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his black pea coat, the collar turned up around his neck. His black hair whipped in the wind.

Zoe stared at him a moment, half in shock. She wasn’t dreaming, yet there he was as present as the moon and the sky. It was Alexander! And he stood before her as real as the biting wind and the cars whizzing by on Memorial Drive.

She was amazed and elated at the same time. Her heart was beating hard and fast.

He stood just a few feet from her. As she studied his eyes and face he smiled, exposing his fangs. “Are you afraid, Zoe?”

She shook her head gently. “Good. Are you cold? Should we go somewhere warm?”

“No, let’s stay here. I don’t want to move yet. I’m afraid you’ll disappear.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You look so beautiful. Happy birthday, by the way.” She smiled. “Can I tell you something?” Zoe nodded slightly. He took her hand and felt the rhythmic pulse of warm blood as it moved through. It was soothing to him. “I just can’t exist anymore without you, 45

Vampire of My Dreams

Zoe. I really love you so much. And I have to know — how do you feel about me?”

Zoe stepped closer to him and looked into his eyes. “Alexander.” He shivered, not from the cold but by the way she breathed his name. “I’ve always loved you. From the very beginning, and all this time.”

“I was afraid of how much I loved you,” he said. “I was afraid to tell you I was real.”

“Why did you leave me?”

“You were engaged. I didn’t think your new husband would appreciate me showing up in your bed.”

“Of course, because you never really were a dream. I’m sorry. Marrying Michael was such a mistake.” The fact of her failed marriage still weighed on her mind. Zoe walked over to the railing and once again looked across the water. Alexander stood close by her and took in the view.

“It wasn’t your mistake, Zoe. It was his. And mine. I should have come back to see if you were okay. Where is Michael now?”

“With his family in Brighton, I think. Can we talk about something else? I’d rather talk about you.”

“Of course. What would you like me to say?”

“I want to know about your past.”

46

Christina Moss

“You know my past. Do you remember the dreams?”

“All of them. I read my journals. But you only told me about your human life —
before
it happened. Tell me
how
it happened.”

He studied her sweet expression and then glanced across the water and at the distant lights and the full moon that had slightly changed position in the sky since he’d last looked at it.

He needed a moment to recall the story he’d never told anyone.

A story he had scarcely thought of since it happened.

“It was eighteen sixty-one — not long after the fi rst attempt on Lincoln’s life. Do you remember that story?”

“Yes. You and Pinkerton’s men were able to stop the assassination.”

“We did stop it. And Lincoln arrived safely for his inau-guration. It happened after that, on my next assignment in Philadelphia.” Alexander looked at Zoe again and was dis-tracted by how beautiful she looked in the moonlight.

Zoe asked, “What happened on your last assignment?”

“Several young women had been found murdered in Pennsylvania and there were rumors fl ying around about it being the work of dark angels. The Pinkerton agency was hired to fi nd the murderer. Of course we all thought the rumors were superstition but Mr. Pinkerton accepted the murder case and gave it to my partner and me since we knew the city. We had 47

Vampire of My Dreams

a good description of the suspect and it didn’t take long for us to fi nd him in a saloon, so we spent the evening there and followed him when he left. We shadowed him through a park, but the man turned suddenly and in a fl ash he was on me. He knocked me to the ground and I felt his fangs pierce the side of my neck. My partner jumped on him but the vampire hit him hard enough to kill him. Then just as suddenly as he’d attacked me, he was off and disappeared into the night.”

“But you didn’t die?”

“No,” he said quietly. “I didn’t die.” Alexander hung his head in shame as the bottomless depression fl ooded back. It was the same awful feeling he had had when he fi rst realized what he’d become. Zoe perceived his stress and lifted his hand and pressed his palm to her cheek. He looked down at her and knew she understood him perfectly.

“So a monster attacked you, but you didn’t become a monster. Isn’t that right, Alexander?”

“I suppose you’re right. I didn’t become a monster. But I did become a vampire. At the time, I had no idea what I was dealing with, but looking back on it, that vampire knew what we were about the moment we entered the saloon.”