Vankara (Book 1) (24 page)

“Thank you,” he
hesitated before adding, “my Queen.”

It was hard to
tell if he was being genuine or disingenuous in calling me his Queen but I
concluded the distinction between the two would always be difficult to discern
with Fallon.  The knowledge that John Fallon now felt a sense of indebtedness
towards me for saving his life was more valuable than any sincere formal
address.

I saw Fallon’s
eyes find and narrow upon the small dragonling sleeping on my shoulder.

“What the hell is
that?”

I went on to
explain how I came to be in possession of the creature and the scant
information Lanai had supplied me about its behavior.

“Can you unbind
with it?”  Fallon questioned right away.  “It’s not like we can hide it when it
grows up.  People are definitely going to notice a large dragon walking around
the palace.

“Once the bond has
been forged, there is no unbinding,” Lanai told Fallon in no uncertain terms. 
“My people consider it a great honor to be bound with a dragon.  There are a
scarce number of them left in the world.  Your Queen has been blessed.”

Fallon let the
subject drop, seeing there would be no way to convince Lanai of the
impracticality of having a dragon as a pet in Vankara.  I felt sure Fallon was
thinking the same thing I was: we would leave the dragonling on this side of
the wall when we returned home.  The logic of our simple plan seemed infallible
at the time.  It’s funny how things become more complicated as your knowledge
on a subject grows.

“We should get
going,” Fallon said, fool-heartedly attempting to stand.  The feat was simply
too much for his damaged body and he quickly sat back down.  “Or maybe not,” he
admitted to himself.

“Why don’t you
stay here and rest,” I told Fallon.  “Lanai says the Queen’s palace is only a
few hours ride from here.  If I go now . . . ”

“No.” The
sharpness of this one word told me there would be no argument I could present
to persuade him otherwise.  “You’re not going there alone.  I can make it.”

“There’s no way
you can ride that much in one day,” I tried reason.  “You’ll probably bleed to
death before we even get there.”

“I know of a plant
which can stem the flowing of blood,” Lanai said, “if you would like to try
it.”

“Do you have shepherd’s
purse here?” I asked.  It had occurred to me to go look for the plant but I
knew how hard it could be to find.

“Possibly,” Lanai said, “though we call it mother’s heart here.  It is most likely the same plant. 
Tell me, how does a Queen come to know so much about healing?”

“My father taught
me,” I said truthfully.  “He thought it was important I be able to take care of
myself.”

“Well, I can show
you where it grows.  As you know it can be hard to find if you don’t already
know where it has taken root.  While you gather what we need, I will go back to
my home and retrieve something to help relieve some of the pain.”

The shepherd’s
purse wasn’t very far from camp.  I began pulling up as much of it as I could
while Lanai scampered off back to wherever her home was.  For a woman her age,
she struck me as being rather agile. 

I was grinding up
the last of the shepherd’s purse when she reappeared with a jar of red paste.

We coated Fallon’s
wounds with the shepherd’s purse first and then Lanai rubbed the red paste
parallel to the jagged edges of the slash marks.

“Is that red
pepper paste?” I asked.

“Yes, it should
help numb some of the pain.  You will still feel discomfort,” Lanai told
Fallon.  “But it should help you at least get through this day.  You can take
the jar with you.  You need it more than I, Vankaran.  When you return home,
you should seek out a healer to stitch up your wounds so they can mend
properly.”

Lanai and I
wrapped the roll of bandages around Fallon’s torso as tightly as we dared
without completely restricting his movement.  The front of Fallon’s jacket was
completely ruined but we had nothing else for him to wear.  So, he buttoned it,
where it still had buttons, as best he could.

“I don’t know how
to thank you,” I told Lanai as I draped the Mantle of Power back across my
shoulders, being careful not to disturb the still sleeping dragonling.

“There is no need
child.  I’m just glad I was able to help.  I have to admit,” she smiled lending
her aged face a pixyish glow, “it has been a while since I had so much
excitement.”

“Is there anyway I
can repay your kindness?” I asked.

“Keep yourself and
those under your care safe,” her subtle reminder of the babe she thought I
carried was not lost on me.  “And keep your eyes open when you meet with
Nuala.  She may be young and beautiful but keep in mind she is quite cunning. 
Don’t be fooled by her charms.”

“Thank you for
your warning,” I said, not quite sure why a Fae would be telling me to not
trust her own leader. Lanai’s words of caution seemed oddly placed to me at the
time.

If only I had
heeded her warnings more.

Chapter 15

We said our
goodbyes to Lanai and made our way down the forest path to the fae Queen’s
palace.  Fallon took the lead.  I felt sure I was in better shape to protect us
considering Fallon’s physical state but didn’t want to wound his pride anymore
than it already was.  Though, why his pride should be wounded I hadn’t a clue. 
The man had just slain a dragon, something I felt sure not many people could
boast.

I could tell the
ride was causing Fallon pain.  His shoulders were hunched and his head hung
low.  I suggested he might want to take some of the laudanum he brought but he
stoutly refused.

“I want to be
clear headed when we get to there,” he said.

“Well if you won’t
stop, is there anything I can do to help you?”

He brought his
horse to a halt until I came up beside him so we were eye to eye.

“How about telling
me more about yourself,” he suggested as we rode next to one another.  “Maybe
if I’m thinking about something else I won’t concentrate on the pain as much.”

I never considered
my life as a source of conversation and had no idea where to start.

“What do you want
to know?” I asked.

“Well for
starters, what was so bad about being April Pew?  You said you saw her in that
alternate world Bellas took you to.  What made you desperate enough to become
Sarah Harker?”

“Being April Pew
was a nightmare,” I admitted with a shake of my head.  “It meant living with a
mother who was never forgiving of mistakes and a father who was never around to
care.  They weren’t my real parents anyway.  They just adopted me so they could
show me off to all of their friends and pretend they were good people.  My life
didn’t become worth living until Gabriel helped me become Sarah Harker when I
was seven.”

“So what were the
Harker’s like?”

“Loving.  Kind. 
Self-sacrificing.  They loved me more than anything in the world.

“Yeah but it
wasn’t really you they loved was it?”

Fallon’s question
cut me to the quick, delving into an insecurity I had harbored since
transforming into Sarah Harker.  The pain he caused must have been written in
my expression.

“I’m sorry,”
Fallon said.  “I shouldn’t have said that.”

I shook my head. 
“No, it’s all right.  It’s not like I haven’t asked myself that same question a
thousand times or more in the past thirteen years.  I can only hope it was me
they loved and not just the biological relationship I was supposed to share
with them.”

“After thirteen
years, I’m sure it was who you had become they loved,” he tried to reassure me.

I thought talking
about my past would be easy, but found the task harder than I ever imagined. 
To verbalize how deceptive my life was made me feel as though I didn’t really
know who I was at all.  I transformed myself into people who were better than
April Pew, hiding in their lives, never taking the time to find my true self. 
Even April Pew was just another disguise.  She had been the product of a
desperate couple who only wanted to have what all their other friends had, a
family.  I almost felt sorry for the Pews, almost.

“Why don’t you
tell me who you are,” I suggested.  “All I know about you is that you were once
Queen Emma’s bodyguard and the circumstances which led to you being sent to the
Outlands.  Do you have family?  Where did you grow up?”

“Well, I grew up
in the palace,” Fallon said.  “My father was King’s Marshall during King
Leopold’s reign.  He died in a horse riding accident when I was thirteen.  Now
that I look back on it I think Leopold was trying to groom me to take my
father’s place.  If I hadn’t broken his trust in me, I probably would have been
made Marshall before he died.”

“Why was he so mad
about you and Emma?”  I had to ask.  It was a question I had wondered about
ever since the Queen told me the story.

“Leopold loved
Emma more than anything, even his own country.  He always turned a blind eye to
her indiscretions, but when he found out I had been with her, he completely
lost his mind.  I think it was because he thought of me as more of a son and
the idea of me and his daughter together drove him mad.”

“Were you in love
with her?”

I knew it wasn’t a
polite question to ask but I wanted to know.

“Who wasn’t?”  He
snorted.

I could tell he
was hiding his true emotions behind a mask of indifference.  Fallon had loved
Emma, a woman he could never truly have because of the disparity of their
stations.

“Is your mother
living?” I asked, deciding to change the subject.  It wasn’t my objective to
cause him pain from remembering a lost love from the past.  I simply wanted to
find a way to take his mind off of the very real physical pain he was dealing
with in the present.

“She moved out of
the palace when my father died and moved back with her people in the
southlands.”

“How long has it
been since you last saw her?”

Fallon had to pause
and think about the answer.  “I guess it’s been about ten years.  Geesh,” he
chuckled, “not a very good son am I?”

“Do you write to
her?”

“Not as often as I
should, sorta hard to get a letter out of the Outlands.  You usually have to
bribe one of the trader people who come deliver the water and food.  It doesn’t
come cheap.” 

Fallon let out a
grunt of pain and clutched the front of his jacket, being careful not to touch
his bandages.

“Are you sure we
don’t need to stop?” I asked, worried about his welfare.

“No.  The sooner
we get there the sooner we can head back.  Just keep talking.”

“I’m really not
that interesting of a person,” I admitted.

“Then talk about
someone you know who is,” he said in exasperation.

I didn’t take his
tone personally.  He was simply a person in pain who was doing whatever he had
to do to ease his discomfort.

“I suppose my
father is the most interesting person I know… knew.”

“Knew?  Is he
dead?”

“He died from the
plague a little over two weeks ago.”  Had it only been that long? It seemed so
much longer.

“Sorry.  I didn’t
know.”

I shrugged.  “How
could you?  I think this is the first real conversation we’ve ever had with one
another.”

“True, completely
my fault,” he grunted, shifting his weight in the saddle to what I had to
presume was a more comfortable position.  “It wasn’t until that night in your
study when I transported on top of you I finally found a way to separate you
from Emma.”

“What do you
mean?”

“When I stopped
you from falling and looked into your eyes, it was like I could see Sarah
Harker, not Emma.  I’m not sure why but that made a difference for me.  Now
when I look at you, I don’t see Emma at all.  I just see you.”

Fallon’s words
touched my heart.  It felt good to know it wasn’t only Gabriel who saw the real
me.  At least one other person in the world could look past the façade of the Queen
I was pretending to be.

“Tell me about
your father, Sarah.  I’m sure he was a good man.”

“He was a great
man,” I corrected.

For the rest of
the ride towards the fae capital, Fallon and I shared details about our lives,
no subject was off limits.  At least not until Fallon asked me one question
which made me uneasy.

“What was the name
of the first boy you kissed?” He asked me, a seemingly innocent question with a
not so easy answer to admit.

“I feel confidant
you don’t want to know the answer to that question,” I replied, feeling a rush
of blood flood my cheeks.

“Come on, it can’t
be that bad.  It’s not like I’m gonna know him.”

I could feel my
cheeks grow hotter and hotter.

“Oh my God, was it
Gabriel?” He asked.

“Heavens no,” I
laughed, feeling some of the tension leave my body at such an absurd thought. 

“Then who?”

I simply shook my
head, hoping he would give up after seeing how uncomfortable I was with the
subject.

Fallon was silent
in concentration for a few seconds before his head snapped up and he looked at
me.

“Chromis?” He
asked, not completely confidant his assumption was correct.

The heightened hue
across my check bones silently answered the question for me.

“How is that even
possible?” He asked incredulously.  “How old are you?”

“Twenty.”

“How does a twenty
year old woman avoid being kissed all of her life?  I mean even ugly girls get
kissed and I certainly wouldn’t have stuck you in that category.”

“When we lived in Iron City, I did have boys try to kiss me but I usually beat them up before they could.  And
when we moved to Peony, there just weren’t many opportunities for romantic
interludes.”

“And you were ok
with that?  Didn’t you ever want a boyfriend?”