Vega Brothers: Hannibal: BBW Paranormal Romance Pretend Engagement (The Bear Shifters of Vega Ranch Book 4) (2 page)

The front door opened and Hannibal ducked under the table. “Alexander tell her I’m not here. Wait, no, tell her I died.”

“She just saw you through the window,” Alexander replied.

“Tell her I choked on my scrambled eggs and I’m dead,” Hannibal said, starting to panic.

Footsteps rang out from down the hall and they were getting louder. Or was that Hannibal’s pulse racing in his ear?

“Where is he?” Khan’s thunderous voice asked as he walked into the kitchen.

Hannibal could see his feet from where he was hiding under the table. The wannabe bride walked in beside him and Hannibal cringed as he stared at the bottom of her dress. It was covered in dirt and cigarette burns.

“Where’s my new husband?” she asked, her voice ringing out like the alarm before the electric chair.

The priest walked in next, his black robes flowing onto the hardwood floor.

Hannibal closed his eyes and gulped.

“Let’s get this over with,” Khan said. “Where’s Hannibal?”

“He wanted me to tell you that he was dead,” Alexander said.

“Idiot,” he muttered to himself.
Am I the only smart one out of the lot?

Khan’s big ugly head with the long scar down his cheek popped down under the table. “Hide and seeky. I see you sneaky.”

“Fuck you, freaky,” Hannibal said with a frown.

Khan just grinned evilly as he moved a chair for Hannibal to get out from under the table.

Hannibal took a deep breath as he climbed out.

“Hi husband,” the woman said, thrusting her open palm out. “My name is Cindy, with a W.”

“Huh?” Hannibal grunted as she bit her lip and tried to give, what he thought must be her sexy face, but it looked more like her high on bath salts face. She had lipstick all over her teeth, lips and chin, her eyes were large and buggy like she’d been up for days, and her hair was matted with wood chips lodged into it.

I’m going to kill Khan. My security will need security once I get her out of here.

Cindy picked up her dirty dress that she must have gotten in the dumpster behind a thrift store and spun around. “So, do I get my diamond ring now?” she asked, wiping her nose with her dress.

“Khan, can I speak to you for a second?” Hannibal asked with a high pitched voice.

The four brothers huddled into the corner of the kitchen. “How could you think that this was a good idea?” Hannibal asked with a tight voice. He was ready to put his oldest brother through the wall.

“What?” Khan asked with a shrug. “She brought a priest. She’s ready to go. Just get it over with.”

Hannibal glanced over at them. The priest was yawning as Cindy snatched a fork off the table and slipped it into her purse.

“Get her out of here,” Hannibal said, rubbing his temples.

Khan shrugged. “This is boring,” he said and just walked out of the room. Julius was bubbling over, trying to hold in his laughter.

“And you two aren’t helping,” Hannibal snapped. “Do something!”

Alexander nodded. He stepped away from his brothers and walked over to the bride and priest. “Unfortunately, Hannibal is no longer eligible for marriage. He’s actually gay.”

“Thanks, Alexander,” he muttered.

“I don’t care about that,” Cindy said, biting her fingernail. “I just want in on that fortune.”

The priest frowned. “I’m still getting paid, right?”

Julius grabbed a stack of bills out of his pocket and plucked off two fifties. He walked over and stuffed one bill into each of their hands. “Here,” he said, guiding them out the door. “Now get lost and don’t come back.”

Both of them smiled as they stared at the crumpled up bills in their hands. They ran out the door before anyone could have a chance to take the money back.

“I’m going to kill Elena,” Hannibal said.

Alexander snapped his head around and practically snarled at Hannibal. “Figuratively,” Hannibal said quickly, throwing his palms up in the air and trying to save his life before the grumpy polar bear shifter ended it. “I wouldn’t touch her!”

“Good,” Alexander said, patting the top of Hannibal’s head with his enormous hand like he was a little lap dog.

That was close.
Alexander didn’t take
any
threats to his mate lightly, even fake ones.

Hannibal grabbed a fresh mug of coffee and walked into the living room.
What the hell?

There were two large charts taped to the walls with a large calendar beside it. Ava and Elena were discussing something as Ava checked something off on a clipboard and then wrote something onto the large calendar. Bailey was sitting at a desk that normally wasn’t there with three telephones on it. She was talking on one while the other two were ringing.

It looked like command central in a Presidential race.

“Oh, good. You’re here,” Bailey said, covering the handset of the phone with her palm. “I have a girl on the line who claims she’s the heiress to an oil fortune. She sounds cute. Want me to set up a date?”

Hannibal sighed. “Where’s she from?”

Bailey smiled. “Hawaii.”

“Ugh,” Hannibal said, scrunching up his nose in disgust. “Too hot.”

“You can’t keep turning every woman down for little things like that,” Julius said, walking into the room. “You have to give these nice women a chance.”

“I am,” Hannibal said defensively.

Julius raised an eyebrow. “What about the girl last week?”

“Which one?”

Julius scratched his chin. “The photographer.”

Hannibal threw his hands in the air in disgust when he remembered. “She ordered mint ice cream!”

“So?”

Hannibal jerked his head back in outrage. “
Mint
. It’s disgusting. It’s like eating toothpaste!” He shivered just thinking about it.

Julius shook his head as he stared at him with a blank expression. “You’re hopeless.”

Bailey lowered the second phone and turned to them. “I have a girl here from Wetwood County who seems pretty nice.”

Hannibal was already getting a headache. “Is her IQ over one forty-five?”

Bailey frowned.

“Yes!” Julius said, pointing at Bailey. “He’s going!”

Hannibal sighed.

Bailey smiled as she raised the phone back to her ear. “He would love to go.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Hannibal said.

“Okay,” Bailey said, scribbling something on the notepad in front of her. “He’ll see you tonight at the Call of the Wild bar in Colwood. Bye.”

Bailey hung up the phone and smiled. “You, Mr. Vega, have a date tonight!”

Ava and Elena clapped and cheered while Hannibal’s headache just got stronger. He sighed. He should have been the first to get married. It would have been better that way. Like a band-aid; just rip it off.

Ava grabbed his left arm while Elena grabbed his right. They dragged him across the room while Bailey answered another call.

Elena grinned. “Let’s go find you something sexy to wear for your big date!”

Hannibal groaned.
Kill me now.

two

“Your last name should be shit,” Mikki said, leaning on the bar and grinning at the bartender.

“Why?” Jack asked rolling his eyes.

“Because you don’t know Jack Shit,” she said, dropping her tray onto the sticky bar. “Aerosmith did not get their name because a guy that Steven Tyler knew named Smith liked to eat Aero bars. That’s ridiculous.”

Jack just shrugged his large round shoulders. “What do you need?”

“Beer,” she said with a chuckle. It was always beer in this bar. Beer or whiskey. Just once Mikki would like to serve a lemonade or an apple juice. “Six of them.”

Jack opened the fridge and pulled out the bottles. “It was Steven Tyler’s neighbor growing up. His name was Smith Smithson and he was always eating Aero chocolate bars.”

Mikki chuckled as she placed the open bottles on her tray. “That can’t be true.”

Jack shrugged as he tossed the bottle caps into the garbage can behind the bar. “I read it in his biography.”

“Were you high on crack when you read it?” she asked, sliding the tray off the bar and onto her hand.

“I don’t think so,” he said with a laugh.

“Well, then Steven Tyler was,” she said, turning away and shaking her head. Dude Looks Like a Lady was playing over the speakers of the Call of the Wild bar. She whistled as she walked around the tables to serve the guys playing pool in the back.

It was her second week working as a waitress in the bar and she was really liking it so far. The customers were nice and friendly. They were just down to earth people from Montana who lived off the land and enjoyed the simple things in life, like Mother Nature and beer.

“Here you go, boys,” she said, handing over the beers.

“Thank you, Mikki,” Chris said, flashing her his best smile. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Aw shucks,” she said, batting her eyelashes, trying to squeeze an extra dollar tip out of him. “You’re going to make me blush.”

His friends started pulling out their wallets but Chris held up his hand. “I got this, fellas.” He pulled out the exact amount for the beers and dropped it on her tray. “And this is for you,” he said, holding up a crumpled one dollar bill with a proud grin on his face.

“Geez, thanks,” she said as he dropped it on her tray. “I can buy that pack of gum that I’ve been eying for a while.”

He nodded his head and winked. “You’re welcome.”

She rolled her eyes as she turned away and headed back to the bar. The bell over the front door rang and Hannibal, one of the hot Vega brothers, walked in looking sharper than usual. He had a black polo shirt on that was crisply ironed with the short sleeves showing off his hard muscular arms. A tattoo of a saying was peeking out from under the sleeve but Mikki couldn’t read it from where she was standing. He was looking away and she took the opportunity to look him up and down. His brown hair was freshly cut and combed to the side with gel. He had sexy new jeans on that hugged his nice ass, and stylish blue running shoes.
Is it getting hot in here or is it just him?

“Hi, Hannibal,” she said as she walked past him. “Looking for someone?”

He was standing at the door and looking around at all of the tables.

“Hey, Mikki,” he said with a smile. “Yeah, I’m supposed to meet someone.”

“A potential date?” she asked with a grin. “Mr. Montana’s most eligible bachelor?”

He sighed. “Please don’t call me that,” he said, looking defeated. He had been quite the talk of the town during the past few weeks. The small mountain town of Colwood, Montana had been swarming with horny single women from all over the country looking to hitch their wagons to a rich, good looking man.

“The search not going so well?” she asked. “Too hard to chose from all of the beautiful women lined up outside your door?”

“Yeah,” he grunted, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Something like that.”

“I don’t think the lucky lady is here yet,” she said, looking around. There were no single ladies waiting anywhere.

“Good,” he said, waving to Jack who was behind the bar. “I need a drink first. Maybe a couple.”

She walked with him to the bar and stood beside him as he slipped onto the bar stool and said hi to Jack.

Mikki liked the Vega brothers but she always had her eye on this one. Hannibal was hot and seemed to be smarter than most of the people that she met in this bar. She liked her men brainy and muscular and Hannibal was both.

“You’re like a celebrity around here,” Jack said, cracking open a beer for him. “Can I hang out with you and get all of your reject bitches?”

“You can have them all,” Hannibal said, dropping his head. “Good luck with them.”

“Come on,” Mikki said, tilting her head and causing her black hair with the blue streaks to spread out on her shoulders. “There has to be one girl out of the many thousands who is a match.”

“Maybe,” he said, looking discouraged. “But it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“Do you know what the fastest way to find a needle in a haystack is?” Jack asked, puffing out his chest.

“What?” Hannibal asked.

“Burn the haystack.”

Mikki and Hannibal glanced down at the bar and then looked at each other with confused faces.

“What the hell does that mean?” Mikki asked.

“Yeah,” Hannibal said. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said with a shrug. “It just sounds cool and I’ve always wanted to say it.”

The bell over the door rang and the three of them turned to see who it was. “Please, no…” Hannibal muttered while Mikki and Jack tried to hold in their laughter.

A really ugly woman with large shoulders and what looked like a bleach blond wig walked in, wobbling on her high heels. She had a large polka dot dress with two uneven sized breasts. “Hannibal?” she called out in a deep voice.

“Over here,” Jack said, holding his hand over Hannibal’s head and pointing down at him.

“Jack, no,” he hissed under his breath but it was too late. The woman smiled and started walking over, holding her arms out as she wobbled across the floor of the bar, looking like she was about to snap an ankle.

Mikki held in a chuckle. There was something off about her but she couldn’t quite tell what it was.

“Hello,” the woman said, holding out her hand to her date. Mikki bit her bottom lip as she glanced down at the woman’s thick hairy knuckles.

Hannibal reluctantly shook her hand and grimaced. “Strong grip you have.”

“Thank you,” the woman said in her deep voice. “Let’s go sit down and get comfortable.”

Hannibal gave Mikki a look as he grabbed his beer off the bar and followed his date to the empty table.

“I have to see this,” she whispered to Jack. She grabbed a rag, walked over to the empty table next to them and wiped it while listening in on their conversation.

“What was your name again?” Hannibal asked, sounding completely disinterested.

“Amanda,” she said, leaning forward.

Mikki jerked her head back when she caught a glimpse of Amanda’s chest. It was covered in thick black hair. She narrowed her eyes and looked at her more closely. She had the beginnings of a five o’clock shadow and her wig was on crooked, showing off short brown hair over her right ear.