VEILED MIRROR (20 page)

And yet she wasn’t alone.
I’m here, in Jason’s bed with his arm around me, cozy and safe.
And possibly pregnant.

Beth mentally kicked herself for forgetting the condom. She’d been on fire last night, and all she had thought about was getting Jason inside her. Her body heated at the memory, growing moist at the thought of him sliding home.
And I called him incorrigible?

She thought of where she was in her cycle. Conception wasn’t likely, but it was possible. It was always possible.

And if she
was
pregnant?
No need to panic
. She could take the “morning after” pill.

The thought grated, but what was the alternative?

Raising a child by herself would be tremendously hard. She should be terrified of the prospect, but she wasn’t.
Jason’s child
. Beth smiled. Maybe something good would come out of all this horror.

Guilt rode in on the coattails of that thought. She shouldn’t be feeling so warm and fuzzy. Ellie and Chris and their baby were dead. It didn’t seem right to feel happy when she and Jason still hadn’t found their killer.

Besides, that happiness was an illusion. As wonderful as it was to lie here snuggled close to him, it couldn’t last. This wasn’t a baby makes three situation. She hated to admit it, but Jason was right. He had a dangerous job. Her hand traced the scar on his chest. He’d been
shot
for God’s sake! Could she take wondering if her child’s father would come home each day? Assuming she
was
pregnant. And they were together as a couple. Which no one had suggested.

Jason’s arm suddenly felt heavy where it lay across her waist. Beth carefully shifted away, trying not to disturb him. She couldn’t think while his scent promised warmth and pleasure. She needed to clear her head, and she couldn’t do that while lying next to him in a bed where they’d made love half the night.

Jason rolled over as she slipped out of bed, but didn’t wake. She dressed and left his room.

Jason opened his eyes
when he heard the door click shut. He needed a few minutes to think. Even so, it had taken all his self-control not to roll Beth under him and kiss her silly this morning.

They hadn’t used a condom last night. It was only one time. But it only took once. What were the odds? She hadn’t said anything about another form of birth control, so he guessed she wasn’t using any.

He hadn’t given much thought to having kids. He’d assumed that someday they’d be part of his future, just not right now. When the time came, he’d quit undercover. He would be there for any child he had, do all those little things that were so important. The school plays. The soccer games. The things his so-called father had bailed on. No kid of his would wonder why he wasn’t there. A soft warmth stole over him as he imagined sharing those moments with Beth.

He forced himself back to reality.
This is stupid.
Why was he thinking about this?
Beth probably isn’t even pregnant.
But there
was
someone out there trying to kill her. That was what he should be focusing on.

Beth headed for the
kitchen with Ollie as company. That was where all her fondest memories centered. Before their mom had died, and no matter where their dad had taken them after, she and Ellie had found laughter and solace in the kitchen.

As she passed by the library, she noticed Bob was already up, engrossed in a book.
Damn.
She’d wanted some time alone to collect her thoughts. “Good morning.”

Bob lifted his head and blinked as if waking. “Oh, good morning.” He gave her a vague smile and lifted a cup from the table beside his chair. “I made coffee.”

Beth smiled back. “Thanks.” She looked around the room. Something was different.
Yeah, Bob is here
. He put his nose back in his book, and Beth continued on to the kitchen, relieved that Bob showed no interest in following.

By the time Bob came looking for another cup of coffee, she was calm again, had a half pound of bacon fried up, and a stack of pancakes made from scratch. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed this with Maria doing all the cooking.
If only Ellie were here.

A few minutes later Jason came into the kitchen, too. Despite all her doubts, she couldn’t deny the way her heart lifted when he sauntered in. Beth looked down at her plate, afraid if she looked at him, her expression would tell Bob more than she wanted him to know. Fortunately, both of the men had breakfast on their minds and were fairly oblivious.

“—and so Palmer is convinced that if only more of the population could be brought to God, most of their worldly problems would be solved as well. Food production would go up,
HIV
infection would drop, children would no longer be sold to the mines, and so on.” Bob shoved a big bite of pancakes into his mouth.

“Didn’t work in Europe,” Jason said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Ollie glanced at him, but didn’t move from Beth’s side where he lay on the cool tile floor, head lifted, waiting hopefully for a handout.

Anderson frowned. “Well no, not entirely, but then sometimes faith is weak. Or so Palmer says.”

“What are we going to do today?” Beth asked.

Jason caught her eye and glanced at Bob, giving his head a slight shake. “I’m going to take it easy today. Maybe make a few calls.”

Beth glanced at Bob as the man scraped syrup up off his plate with his last bite of pancake. Jason was being paranoid.

“It
is
the Sabbath. A day of rest,” Bob observed before popping the last bit into his mouth.

“I can make some of those calls. You don’t have to do all of it,” Beth said.

“Is this something I can help with, Ellie?” Bob asked around his pancake.

“No, but thanks for offering.”

Bob frowned. “I guess you won’t be attending services, then.”

“Ah, no,” Beth answered. “But there are several churches in Jimson Weed, if you want to go.”

“Yes, I believe I would.” He snorted. “Believe,” he said, chuckling again at the lame pun.

Beth smiled politely, and rolled her eyes when he wasn’t looking.

Bob looked at his watch, frowned, then up at the clock on the wall. “I forgot to reset my watch. I’d better get moving.”

“I’ll give you directions,” she said.

Fifteen minutes later Bob was out the door, and Jason was on his second helping of pancakes.

“I don’t see why we have to be so careful around Bob,” Beth said. “Palmer’s no longer a suspect. What could Bob tell him that would make the least bit of difference?”

Jason’s smile was a trifle condescending. “You’d never make an undercover agent,” he said. “You want to give too much away.”

She felt a flash of irritation. “And you keep too many secrets, whether they need to be kept or not.”

“I’m trying to protect you.” Jason pressed his lips together, then cut another bite.

Beth glared at him for a moment then bit savagely into a slice of bacon. Ollie sat up, his attention intensified.
The man has no perspective
. Keeping things to himself was second nature to him. She’d have to drag every little bit of information out of him for the rest of their lives. That was no way to live.

Jason set his fork down. “I admit, I haven’t been doing a very good job of it so far, but that changes here and now.”

His comment didn’t track. “What are you talking about?” Her voice was sharp.

“I didn’t take the threat to you seriously enough. I left you alone, and you almost died … I didn’t use a condom.”

Beth shook her head.
Is he nuts? He almost drowned saving me
. “You’ve got that backward.
I
didn’t use a condom. Whatever happens, it’s my responsibility, not yours.”

Jason’s fists clenched on the table. “You think I’d just walk away from you? From my own kid?”

“No, of course not.” The memory of him telling her about his childhood slammed her between the eyes. He
had
shared things with her, deeply private things.

Her anger melted. She almost wished she could stay mad at him. It would be easier to deal with than this warm squishy feeling that kept rising in her heart.

Beth got up and scraped what was left of her breakfast into Ollie’s bowl, then sat down again. She took a sip of coffee, then said, “Jason, you’re the most honorable guy I know—even if you do keep too many secrets.” She smiled to take the sting out of her words. “But let’s not talk about that now. Let’s just find Chris’ and Ellie’s killer.”

Jason nodded, but the look he gave her was determined. “But later … No secrets, okay?”

No secrets? He
was saying, “no secrets?” Beth lifted an eyebrow.

Jason held up a hand. “I know, I know. But please, if you find out you’re pregnant, you have to tell me.” Then he glanced around, as if realizing for the first time that Maria wasn’t there. “Where’s Maria?”

Beth welcomed the change of subject. “I told her not to come in today. She’s been working every day since before Chris died, and her sister isn’t well. She deserved some time off.”

“Not to mention she’s Montenegro’s cousin,” Jason said.

“Not to mention.” They needed to time to sort out what that might mean, and she and Jason would be better able to discuss the matter if Maria wasn’t around to overhear.

“So you made these?” Jason asked, gesturing with a fork full of pancakes.

Beth smiled. “Yeah. Mom’s special recipe.”

“Wow. And she cooks, too.”

The glint in Jason’s eyes sent a prickle of awareness over her skin that warmed her down to her toes. The easy friendship they’d developed after the wedding was returning, the teasing, the camaraderie.

“But I don’t do windows,” she replied. Ollie finished what was in his bowl, and went to sit beside Jason.

Jason assumed a mock frown. “And here I thought you were perfect. Mother will be so disappointed.” He stabbed another fork full of pancake.

“Your mom’s big on windows, eh?”

“Oh yeah. I had to wash them four times a year after we got our house.”

“You?”

He wiggled his fingers. “Fastest squeegee in the west.”

Beth smiled. “A man of many talents.”

When he’d finished his breakfast, Jason leaned back in his chair and sipped his coffee. He glanced at Ollie who sat staring at him with soulful eyes. “Sorry boy, I didn’t leave you anything.”

Ollie sighed and lay down.

“I need to replace my weapon today. I should have done it yesterday but there was no time. If I’m going to protect you, I need more than a kitchen knife. Damn, I wish we had the key to Chris’s gun safe.” He looked away for a moment, and Beth saw him blink away the moisture in his eyes.

“What about the hands? Doesn’t one of them have a gun you could borrow?”

Jason shook his head. “I already checked. The guy feeding the stock doesn’t carry, and the rest of the hands have the day off. It doesn’t matter. I asked Tom Hendricks if he’d lend me a shotgun yesterday at the wake. He’s going to bring it over this morning.” He wadded up his napkin and put it on the table. “I’ll clean up.”

Beth smiled. “Windows
and
dishes? You’ll make some woman very happy one day.”

Jason gave her an odd look. “Thanks.”

Beth helped him clear the table, then refilled her coffee.

“Should you be drinking coffee? I mean, if you are … ?”

She stared into the inky liquid. It wasn’t likely, but suddenly she had no interest in another cup.

Jason finished loading the dishwasher. He’d just put soap into the dispenser when the phone rang. Beth picked it up.

“It’s Tom. For you.”

After a brief conversation, Jason hung up. “Go get ready. We have to go over to the Hendricks’ to get the shotgun. Tom’s radiator sprung a leak.”

Beth groaned. She liked Anne and Tom, but she’d already talked to too many people in the last few days. She needed a break from pretending to be Ellie. Beth shook her head. “You don’t need me to do that. The last few days have been a roller-coaster, emotionally and physically. I’m not going anywhere today.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone.”

His protectiveness was touching, but it didn’t change her mind. “All I want to do is rest. I promise, I won’t go anywhere. I won’t even answer the door. Ollie is here. I’ll be fine.”

A muscle jumped in Jason’s jaw as he stood up. “Get ready. I’ll go make those calls. See what I can find out about the mine deal, and how Montenegro felt about shutting down development.”

“Jason—”

“Someone tried to kill you, Beth! And the person who hired him may be watching the house right now, waiting for an opportunity to finish the job. I am
not
leaving you alone. That’s it.”

Beth’s stomach tightened with tangled emotion as she watched Jason walk down the hall to the library. He wanted to protect her, she got that, but that didn’t give him the right to dictate what she did, or to walk away from her without letting her explain—although she wasn’t sure she could. She didn’t want to risk her life foolishly. The memory of dark water closing over her head still made her shake. She just needed a break. A little time. Unfortunately, time was in short supply.

Twenty minutes later Jason
leaned back in the desk chair as Beth came into the library. The sight of her made him want to pull her into his lap and kiss her silly. She paused for a moment just inside the door as she scanned the room, frowning, then shrugged and came over to him. Was she still upset with him? He had to go get Tom’s shotgun, and she was going to come with him. That’s all there was to it. He didn’t want to fight with her about it, but he’d tie her up and put her in the trunk before he’d leave her alone again.

“What did you find out?” Beth asked, perching on the edge of the desk.

“The two investors I was able to contact both say the same thing: Montenegro voted with the majority. He agreed they should hold off on development of the mine.”

“Okay, so it wasn’t the mine deal. But he could still have been pissed at Chris, if Chris found out he was with the cartels and threatened to tell Connie,” Beth protested.

“That’s a possibility. I also put in a call to a friend of mine in the
DEA
. I’m hoping he’ll tell me where their investigation of Montenegro stands.”