Vengeance of the Dancing Gods (41 page)

"Brothers and sisters here and across this great nation, we can here, now, today, make a start at a true revolution for our country! Not one that will burn or loot or pillage, but one based on God and scripture, one that drives the evil drugs and pornography and booze and filth from our land and our young! I wish all of you out there could see, could feel, could know what this country would be like if we were in charge!.

"DONE!" cried a voice that went over the microphones and out to the satellites.

Dacaro stopped, as if it were the voice of God, but he had no choice in the matter and no time really to reflect on it. He grew suddenly transparent, and seemed to be sucked as if by a vacuum cleaner into the lectern itself.

But the podium was not deserted, for in a simultaneous reversal another oozed out and solidified, a huge man in formal clothes and top hat with a big white beard.

Both Marge's and Joe's jaws dropped. Finally Marge managed, "The Lamp! Macore hid the Lamp in the podium!.

Page 220 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods The crowd, however, hardly noticed Ruddygore up there. They were, as were at least a million people tuning in across the country, in a state of absolute shock and horror, for the Lamp had granted Dacaro's unintended wish.

They knew exactly what the country would be like if the True Path were in charge.

It broke through spells, and it broke through all manner of faith and belief. It just was. Down there, some people were so nauseated they were throwing up all over their nice clean suits.

282 VENGEANCE OF THE DANCING GODS JACK L. CHALK.ER 283 Ruddygore had seemed dazed for a moment, but now he suddenly seemed to see the lights and the cameras and he brightened like a small child discovering a new toy. He grabbed the microphone and began singing, "/ am the very model of a modern Major General.....

A technician had had the presence of mind to shut down transmission, but there were still all those people out there. Ruddygore continued to sing.

Joe looked forward and grew alarmed. "Boquillas has split!" He looked at the other two. "You check this side of the crowd, and you. Gimlet, check the other. I'm going back into the house. He may try some sort of slicker getaway there, and Tiana's trapped in there!.

He did not try to see or make contact with Ruddygore, who was just standing there for a while like a joyous Santa having the time of his life, but went up and flew in the bedroom's open window.

The two women were still there, listening to the commotion but not yet fully understanding it.

Joe suddenly realized he couldn't communicate directly with either one. Or—could he? Tiana had the power, she might barely be able to make him out in the fairy speech.

"Ti!" he cried, going right up to her. "Dacaro's gone and Ruddygore's here, but the Baron's escaped!.

She looked at him strangely for a moment, then seemed to hear. "Okay. If I get it, the Baron's escaped but we won. Come on, Mahalo! If he goes anywhere he'll head for that exit-laden basement of yours!.

There were people screaming and running all about, but they ignored them and pushed their way through, to be ignored in turn. The cellar door was definitely ajar, and first Mahalo, who was the larger, and then Tiana made it, Joe flying right on top.

Page 221 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods Joe looked over and saw the reclining priest, but no Poquah. He must have left to get to Ruddygore. There was, however, someone in the Baron's small office, rummaging around for something.

Tiana walked boldly to the open door and saw Boquillas just sitting there in his office chair in front of his computer looking dazed and confused. It was unlike him, but she knew he wouldn't go quietly.

"You're done. Baron," she said. "We've taken you again..

He looked up at her and seemed very confused and disoriented, and then he got up and looked at the pair of crossed sabers mounted on the wall. In a single motion he grabbed one and wrenched it free of its mount.

Joe had been ignored and did a fast survey of the office.

He found that Irving was in fact still in its scabbard by the side of Boquillas's desk.

"Irving! To the woman and fight as if it were me!" he commanded.

The sword suddenly shot from its scabbard and went right through the computer terminal. It caught them all by surprise, but Tiana grabbed it by reflex and felt its heft and balance. "All right. Baron, this was meant to be,.

she said. "I will step outside, but not stand aside..

The Baron stared at her a moment, then reached up and took the other saber down, so that he had one in each hand. He then walked tiredly out of the office and faced the woman with the broadsword. "I will leave now," he said woodenly.

Tiana did not have the size and strength she was used to, but Irving was not merely a broadsword but a semiliving creature with a mind and powers of its own. It could not help her strength, but it needed little skill or direction to be effective, for it was forged with dwarf magic in the fires under the mountains.

She thought about that. "Baron, if you will throw one of those sabers down at my feet I will give you a fair fight.

Otherwise, I kill you where you stand..

"Ti! No!" Joe screamed. "He's a monster with nothing more to lose! Kill him now!" He ached to be the one with the sword instead of her. He owed Boquillas one.

The Baron knelt down and slid the saber over to Tiana.

She reached down, picked it up, then put down Irving.

284 VENGEANCE OF THE DANCING GODS Page 222 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods The Baron did not take advantage of her at this, and let her start the fight.

There was the sudden clang of steel against steel, but the Baron seemed to be fighting without any will or reserve left. In seconds, Tiana had pressed him to the wall and then methodically disarmed him, although she was unused to her new body and he had by far the advantage in size and reach. He stared at her, showing no fear, only resignation.

"You must kill me," he told her, sounding very tired indeed.

Tiana paused a moment, then lowered her saber and shook her head. "I cannot kill this poor, miserable wretch like this." She half turned away from him in disgust. "Let Ruddygore deal with him..

At that moment a shot rang out and reverberated through the cellar. She was shocked and stunned for a moment, then turned to see the Baron slowly sinking to the floor, a bloody wound in his chest. She looked over near the stairs and saw Mahalo McMahon there, holding one of the rifles abandoned by the pixilated guards. She looked a little shocked and stunned herself. "I—I couldn't help it. I saw it there and was covering you, and you turned away and he made a move for the sword and I just—shot, that's all." She dropped the rifle and seemed to be more than a little bit in shock herself.

Poquah suddenly came down the stairs in a rush. "You must all get out of here quickly!" he shouted. "The audience has become a mob and they have set fire to the mansion! Stand away from the far wall and Marge will set off a charge that will blow the old door off, spells and all!.

Tiana went over and checked the Baron. "He is still alive!" She looked around and saw the limp, naked body of Father O'Grady on the other side of the glass. "Mahalo! Snap out of it! You are no murderer yet! See if you can get O'Grady on his feet and help him when they blow up the door! Poquah! I will need help with the Baron!.

The Imir looked at the bloodstained form and frowned, JACK L. CHALKER 285 as if debating whether to help the Baron or not, but finally he said, "You go help the other get the priest out. I will use a spell to levitate that carrion out after you..

At that moment there was a tremendous explosion inside the room in which Joe had been held captive and strung up. He flew to Poquah. "The snakes! There are venomous snakes in that room!.

The Imir ran over, threw the door open, and looked around. "They are there, but they are all dead. They could not survive their own mutated venom when Dacaro's influence was removed. Come! There is a hole in here that even our Master could fit through—but hurry! I can see smoke from here and it is getting very, very warm!.

The two women were able to get O'Grady to a more Page 223 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods or less standing position, but he was definitely still not of this or any other world except perhaps his own. With one on each arm, they managed with several slips to get him into the room where hands from outside could help ease the women's burden.

Smoke now filled the cellar area, and flames began to be seen along the ceiling, helped by the sudden blowing open of the door. Poquah finished his spells and, very slowly, the Baron's limp form lifted a few inches off the floor and followed the Imir to the room and then to the door itself. Joe shot out into the open air, stopped, then turned to watch.

Ruddygore and a number of stem-faced men helped lift the Baron out the rest of the way just as the ceiling fell in with a crash and a roar. They barely made it back to the well area before the flames shot for a moment straight through the opening and into the light as if from a flamethrower.

The unfamiliar men took Boquillas's limp form and hustled it away with a speed and professionalism that was impressive; the rest stood there for a while, watching the old mansion go up like a flaming torch, until the heat, which grew hot enough to begin to ripple the paint on the generator trailers and melt the big satellite dish, became 286 VENGEANCE OF THE DANCING GODS so great that they were forced to turn and walk back into the cool woods. Fire sirens sounded in the distance, but they would be useful only in keeping the conflagration to what it was already consuming and prevent, if they were lucky, a major forest fire.

Tiana, in fact, voiced that fear to Ruddygore, but he was unconcerned. "I managed a spell sufficient to keep the fire contained within its current boundaries, which will last until the inevitable rains rush in. I wouldn't worry so much. I personally wouldn't be upset if it consumed that entire stupid town, but I would not like to lose those redwoods..

The whole forest was a madhouse, with crowds ranging from the virtually undressed to the formally dressed running every which way in panic. Elder, Ministering Angel, Elect, technicians, special guests—all were the same now.

The True Path was in ashes, and would not be followed again by any who were there or by any watching the initial broadcast.

Ruddygore's organization was quite prepared for them, although the agents had not known exactly what would happen until it did. A few small vans awaited the wizard's party, and they were guided through and quickly whisked away. There was even an ambulance to receive the Baron, although it had not been thought at the time that he might be the one to make use of it.

Page 224 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods Even so, it took some wizard's spells and over an hour to clear the town and the county.

CHAPTER I 7 EXPLANATIONS AND RESOLUTIONS Evil monsters must be killed more than once. The more evil the monster, the more times it must die before it is sent to Hell or oblivion.

—Rules, XIV, 303(a) "LET'S GO BACK TO THE ORACLE'S VERSE ONCE AGAIN and you'll see my thinking on all this," Throckmorton P.

Ruddygore said, relaxing in a hotel suite in San Francisco and facing the company.

"The first three lines obviously meant Joe and Marge,.

he continued, sipping champagne between comments.

"The 'thief part undoubtedly meant Macore, although I was hesitant to let an absolute greenhorn on Earth. He seems to have adapted well, though..

"If you consider a fanatic addiction to Gilligan 's Island adapting, then I guess you're right," Marge agreed.

"Well, if it wasn't an addictive thing, I suppose it wouldn't have run that long. At any rate, it was clear that the thief, Macore, had to go under something—it appeared to be underground, though it turned out to be under the porch and up through a trapdoor, but that difference was minor. I could not, of course, understand the 'pickled fish' reference, and thought it might refer to Tiana, particularly since conditions barring her were removed by that body switch, so I raised no objections to her going, despite the obvious inconvenience..

287 288 VENGEANCE OF THE DANCING GODS JACK L. CHALKER 289 "I, too, thought it was me, although I did not like the reference to being 'pickled,'" Tiana agreed.

The wizard nodded and wolfed down a croissant. "This left me with a few questions that needed to be resolved here—the pixie business, for example. The real problem was that we had to give a treasure freely to the villains and Macore had to sneak it in. What sort of treasure? It seemed obvious from the fact that the word 'wish' was used three times in the verse that it had to be the Lamp.

I, of course, was more hesitant to have Macore transport Page 225 Chalker, Jack L - Vengeance of the Dancing Gods it here, particularly with the risk that it would fall into the Baron's hands—one chance at it and he might have been able to wish his powers back—but clearly its presence was mandated. I told Macore to inform no one except Poquah that it was even here, and to use it or otherwise risk it only if he felt the meaning of the verse was perfectly clear in his own mind..

"You put a lot of trust in Macore, considering the vault episode," Joe noted.