Vera's Valour (12 page)

“This harsh winter weather doesn’t help matters,” Mum said as she arranged some nappies over a clothes horse near the fire.

“Sit down Mum, I’ll finish that job.”

“I think I can hear Victor crying, you’d better go and see to him.”

It was relentless looking after a baby with wartime restrictions - just one difficulty after another. How she would have managed without her mother’s help Vera just didn’t know. And John too came over to the cottage with some provisions he’d managed to collect for them.

But the pleasures were there too. The child was thriving. And Vera was enjoying being able to run up and down the cottage stairs again.

Only her worry about Geoff kept her from being entirely happy. She desperately wanted him back with her and Victor.

Her contact with the hospital where Geoff was remained as formal correspondence. Vera received a few medical reports on his condition, but Geoff remained too far away for her to visit with her newborn. Trains cram full of soldiers and with no heating, made it unwise for a mother with a baby to travel.

Apart from that Hitler was now sending bombs that exploded over the London area and no one knew where they might land.

“How I wish this hateful war would end,” Vera said as she rocked her baby in her arms. “And it’s about time you met your father young man. He is a very brave man – a very clever engineer – you will be proud of him when you grow up.”

Holding the shawl covered baby she looked out of the cottage window and sighed. She could see the first signs of spring appearing. The sun was out shining over the countryside like a healing balm. Opening the door, the dogs bounded outside first as she walked out onto the grass and spotted a few daisies underfoot. Yes, spring had come.

Vera continued to talk to her son, “The days are longer, nature is waking up, and so must I.”

Victor gurgled.

“It won’t be long before you’ll be out in the garden getting up to mischief.”

His little face formed into a beaming smile.

“So, time has passed by and I must get to see Geoff now. Whatever condition he is in he has had enough time to get better and I must bring him home.”

There were many arrangements to be made before she could leave, and she was so grateful to John who offered to take her to the hospital after collecting as many petrol coupons as was necessary to allow him to get there and back.

* * *

“Heavens above!” declared Vera, looking at the bespectacled Army doctor sitting opposite her on the other side of his large desk. “Of course I don’t expect my husband to be exactly as he was when I married him. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then. But I do understand what it is like to be in a bombing raid.”

“Not in the heat of battle you don’t, Mrs Parkington.”

“Excuse me, doctor. I was in France - in Normandy - when the invasion took place. I can assure you we were bombed. So I do know what is is like.”

The doctor’s eyes glistened behind his spectacles.

“Hasn’t Geoff told you I was there?”

The doctor leant forward making a pyramid with his fingers. “No. He doesn’t think he has a wife. After all, you haven’t visited him.”

Vera exploded, “How could I? I have just given birth to our child. How could I get down here to see him? Why didn’t you have him moved nearer to our home so that I could? And his parents are unhappy they are not able to visit him either. It’s not that Geoff is not loved. It’s this wretched war that keeps us apart!”

The doctor regarded her sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Mrs Parkington. Because the colonel has been so unresponsive it has been difficult for me to know about your circumstances.” He looked over his shoulder at the bookcase filled with patients’ files. “We have so many mentally ill soldiers to deal with.”

Vera calmed down. She could see his difficulties. He was overworked with many cases needing his care and attention, as well as Geoff’s.

“I haven’t much time to see him,” said Vera, “I must get back this evening . . . what advice can you give me?”

“Really I have none. Every patient is different. They cope with their trauma in different ways. They all need a different amount of time for their minds and bodies to get over the injuries – ”

“He’s had that.”

“It can take months - years.”

Vera swallowed, “Then I’d better see him. I have made arrangements to take him home.”

The doctor looked down at Geoff’s file and after leafing through some papers, closed the file and said to her, “It may be the best thing for him. If you feel you can manage to help him over the rest of his convalescence. You will need to be patient with him. But I think you are a sensible woman - a brave woman.”

She wasn’t feeling at all brave when they left the office and began to walk down a long corridor where she noticed men in dressing gowns, some with bandaged heads, arms or legs, sitting and staring into space.

“I’ve put him in here,” said the doctor, “so you can have some privacy.” He knocked and then opened the door for Vera to see a tall man sitting by the window.

“I’ve brought your wife to see you, Colonel Parkington.”

Geoff, she recognised, as he turned his head to face her slowly.

Her heart beat rapidly – he’d become grey haired. His cheeks were sunken and there was no sparkle in his eyes. “I haven’t a wife,” he said with no emotion, “she was killed.”

“I’ll leave you,” said the doctor slipping out of the door.

Vera brought another chair to sit by her husband. And for awhile she looked at him with compassion as he looked away from her.

“Geoff,” she said, “It’s me, Vera.”

He turned to look at her again, and for a moment she thought he recognised her. But there was no other sign that he knew her.

“Vera was killed,” he said dreamily.

“No, she wasn’t!”

He started. “Who are you?”

Vera took his large hand and stroked it. “I’m Vera, the woman who loves you dearly. I’ve come to take you home.”

“I haven’t a home – I haven’t anything – only pain.”

“What about your dog, Battle?”

“Oh yes, I remember now.” His face showed his kindly expression was still there - part of him. “Is he still alive?”

“Of course, and Gyp. Both dogs are waiting for you to take them for a walk in the countryside around the cottage as you used to.”

“I’d like that. But I’ve got a bad foot.”

Vera looked down at his slipped feet. “Show me. It doesn’t look injured.”

He removed his slipper and there was his beautifully shaped foot.

“There, see, it has been mended. You can walk, Geoff.”

He was looking at his foot wriggling his toes and she longed to kiss him. She longed to kiss his lips, to feel his arms around her after being parted from him for such a long time. But she could tell it was going to take some time to bring him back to normal.

“Nurse,” he said suddenly, “what’s the time?”

She took a deep breath in and said, “I am not a nurse. I’m Vera. Your wife. Now, listen to me carefully, Geoff. You must understand that I got back to England safely after I left you in France. I am living at our cottage and I want you to come home with me today.”

His eyes penetrated hers. “Are you really my Vera?”

“Of course I am. Your cook. Remember what a good cook I am?”

“Vera was a good cook,” he muttered, “a very good cook.”

“Would you like me to cook you your supper tonight? You look as if you need feeding up.”

His face broke into a wry smile. “Yes. The meals here are awful.”

She laughed gently as she bent over to kiss his worn face.

He seemed to come alive. “Vera, is it really you?”

“Really,” she replied kissing him again on the lips.

It was as if a load had been lifted from his shoulders. He took her hand and kissed it. “Vera, please take me home,” he said.

The doctor was clearly amazed to find them talking and even chuckling together when he called in later.

“Can he come back with me?” Vera asked anxiously.

“Certainly, although don’t be surprised if he has a relapse. He might crawl back into his shell again.”

Vera was told he hadn’t any belongings, only funnily enough he had his slide rule which he happened to be carrying when he was injured. “It’s important for him to keep that. It may help him to remember those parts of his life that lay buried still.”

Vera thanked the doctor but was aware the busy medical man had other cases he had to deal with and was not reluctant to let Geoff leave the hospital.

She felt triumphant to be bringing him home with her. Although she didn’t know what to expect when he had got home – and met his son.

She rang her mother to say she should expect them.

In the back of John’s car they sat close together. Sharing the warmth of their bodies. Holding hands, and saying very little.

Mum came up trumps when they reached the cottage, she had left a slow cooking casserole in the range. The dogs went wild having their master home, and Geoff seemed to recognise them.

But he didn’t seem at all happy to find a baby in the house.

“Whose baby is it?” he asked when her heard the child cry.

“Mine,” Vera said, then wished she’d said, “Ours.” How she wished now she’d told him she was expecting his baby in France. She’d expected Geoff to be thrilled to find he had a son. But he seemed unmoved. Unwilling to accept the child as his.

Vera wondered whether he thought another man was the father of her child.

After Victor was asleep in bed, Mum told Vera that she thought it wise not to tell Geoff that the child was his. “Let Geoff settle first.”

Vera said, when Geoff had gone upstairs in bed. “Geoff’s coming out of his coma, the doctor told me. We must carry on as normal and let him find his feet. The only thing I think we should do is to tell him repeatedly that Victor is his son.”

Vera almost wept when she got in bed beside him and he ignored her. The whole day had been harrowing. But she succeeded in bringing her husband home – if only he wouldn’t recognise her as his lover, and Victor as his son.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“JOHN has offered to take me home today,” Mum said in the morning as they were eating their breakfast in the kitchen. “He thinks – and I think too – you ought to be left together as a family to sort your lives out.”

Vera had been too tired, too emotionally drained, after bringing Geoff home, to think about the fact that John and her mother were left together when she and Geoff had retired. She wondered if they had shared the spare bed her mother had been using for the past few weeks. She said, “I think we are not the only couple to have to sort our lives out.”

Mum smiled as she spread some homemade marmalade on her toast. “Yes, Vera, I’ve decided to marry John. Do you mind?”

Vera got up from the table and ran around to hug her mother. “I’m delighted for you. I think John will make you a splendid companion. He’s such a good, kind man.”

“Thank you, Vera,” said John coming into the kitchen and overhearing her praise of him. And Vera was delighted to see that Geoff come in behind him too. They had been out walking the dogs together in the early morning sunshine.

Vera longed to embrace Geoff, but he didn’t seem to want to show her any affection. Outwardly, he was physically well, but she knew inside his mind was still in turmoil. She would have to be patient.

“Come and have some bacon and egg,” she said, her mind on her cooking, “and take your muddy wellies off you men if you please.”

It seemed very quiet later that day after Mum and John had left the cottage.

Vera had plenty to do looking after her baby with no one to help her, because Geoff continued to treat the child as someone else’s.

* * * *

Vera missed Mum’s companionship because Geoff kept himself to himself. He even moved into the spare room – not that that made much difference to Vera because he’d been sleeping on his side of the bed, and she on the other.

Every day, although he took the dogs out which did him good, although he sat around most of the day.

Victor was a good baby but there were times when she wished his father would pick him up and cuddle him because she had more to do now her mother had gone, and found she had less time to play with Victor.

Gradually Geoff began to potter around the house and garden. He began to look at his papers, and sometimes asked her the strangest things. But she was patient and answered his questions until he was satisfied.

They might appear to others to be a contented family – but they were not united. If Geoff did not accept the Victor was his son, and continued to sleep in the spare room, their marriage was ruined.

And as the weeks went by, she began to despair of having him truly back with her.

Her toothache came on suddenly one day. Vera tried to ignore it at first, hoping it would go away. She was too busy to go to the dentist – at first – but as the pain persisted and got worse, she knew she had to go.

“I have to go to the dentist,” she told Geoff who was cleaning his shoes. His army habits persisted which was a good thing because he was a good-looking man, and he kept himself well turned out, although many of his jackets had patches on the cuffs and elbows.

“Brown’s a good chap,” Geoff said.

“I have to go today.”

“Toothache?”

Vera nodded. “I’ll ring and make an appointment.”

Having arranged to go that afternoon - by bus because they had no petrol for the car - she was getting the baby’s carry basket ready when Geoff said, “Leave the baby here. You can’t take that big baby basket on the bus by yourself. I’ll look after him.”

Vera gulped. Was it wise to leave Victor behind? She said, “The dental reception nurse will look after him, I’m sure.”

He sounded his old commanding self when he retorted, “I’m quite capable of looking after a baby for a few hours.”

“I hope I’m not going to be that long.”

Geoff came up close to her and looked into her eyes. “Trust me,” he said.

He’d guessed her dilemma – was he well enough to act as a nanny for awhile?

She had to make up her mind. Could he care for a baby he thought was not his own? Should she show him that she thought he was recovered enough to look after Victor – would her decision help him to feel he was getting better?