Vicious Circles (14 page)

“Yes,” she hissed. “Damn it, Bailey, what is going on?”

“Go ahead,” I smirked. “Get it out of your system.”

“You knew that Spencer would be upset with this little Col in charade but did you even think about Morgan? I’m sure it broke her heart! And then the hickey…”

“It wasn’t a hickey,” I interrupted, trying to lighten the mood. “I did not suck on his neck. I just bit him.”

“I’m glad you find this hilarious.”

“Not particularly. My head has been a messed up jumble for a while now,” I said.

Irelyn paused briefly in her tirade to study my face. I hoped she would see the sincerity and the guilt that had been hiding behind my eyes for weeks. I hoped she knew how truly sorry I was for everything that I had caused. I hoped she’d forgive me if I drew the courage to tel her about sleeping with Col in.

But her eyes hardened and gone was my understanding friend. Gone was the girl who’d been so confused and hurt and stressed last year – the very one that I’d done what I could to help. Apparently, she’d forgotten about al that in her anger.

“Why is your head al messed up?” she asked.

“It’s a long story and you don’t have the time,” I said like a coward.

“I’l make time,” she said. “I even chased Lucas out of the house after Morgan cal ed because I figured you’d come here.” Hmm, maybe she might not total y side with Morgan. I sighed heavily. “It’s not a pretty story and you might not like it a whole lot.”

“Tel me,” she said.

“Wel , let’s see. It started a few weeks ago when I discovered that I didn’t real y have feelings for Spencer any longer – that I sort of had them for someone else.

Someone that I … wel …I fel in love with,” I said, avoiding her eyes.

But she was having none of that. “Bailey! You’re in love with someone?”

“Geez, don’t make it sound like a miracle. It could happen. It has,” I said.

Giggling, she hugged me, easing me into a false sense of comfort. “Aww. Who is it?” I drew back and bit my lip. “Does Lucas have any beer here?”

“Sure,” Irelyn said. “Help yourself. But isn’t it a little early? And do you know what -

you’ve been drinking a lot lately.”

“Don’t preach,” I growled. “I know I have been. I just need to sort things out then I’l concentrate on the drinking. Cut me a break.”

“Okay,” Irelyn said, softly. “Finish your story. Tel me who you’re in love with. Does he love you, too? Does he even know?”

“Can I talk?” I asked, the bottle shaking ever so slightly in my nervous hand.

Irelyn nodded.

“Okay. So, I realize that things wil probably never work between me and this guy but I know that I need to break up with Spencer because I don’t want to lead him on.”

I chanced a quick glance at her –not wanting to offend her after the ordeal she’d gone through with Dustin and Lucas, but wanting her to understand exactly why I’d ended things with Spencer.

“Okay, that’s understandable,” she said. “Go on.”

“So, we al go to Rusty’s the night after me and Spence split,” I continued then took a swig of the beer. “And afterwards, we al went to Col in’s place, remember?”

“Yes,” she said slowly, narrowing her eyes. “I do. You stayed there after everyone left and got hammered with Col in.”

“I’l say,” I murmured under my breath.

She gasped as her hand flew to her heart. “No. Oh, damn. Oh, hel . Bailey, tel me you didn’t!” I lifted a shoulder and turned my head. “I could tel you I didn’t but that wouldn’t be true.”

“Damn!” she cursed as she paced the living room. I could hear soft swears rumble from her lips and I knew Mount Irelyn was about to erupt.

“Lucas said that you two slept together that night – he said he could tel by the way Col in was acting. But I didn’t believe him. I didn’t think you’d do that to Morgan.”

“Hold on, now,” I said as I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her pacing. “In my defense, I had no idea that Morgan liked Col in at that time. If you’l recal , you told me the next day when I was scarfing down a greasy cheeseburger to cure my hangover. I didn’t know until then.” Irelyn studied my face briefly then nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. So, what, this night with Col in was just once – just a drunken thing?” Before I could stop it, the truth fluttered across my face. Irelyn’s eyes grew in horror.

“You’ve slept with him since?”

No use lying. “Once.”

“After you found out that Morgan was in love with him?” she nearly screamed.

“Hel , yeah,” I screamed back. “And I’m sorry, okay. So sorry. But she’s not the only one who loves him!” The silence was ten times louder than the cars that cruised the main strip with their rap music thumping and rattling windows. And the pause between us was like a tiny crack in our friendship. I wondered it if would expand or if we’d manage to seal it before it caused more damage.

“Irelyn, think about it,” I pleaded. “Do you honestly think I’d do anything to purposely hurt Morgan?”

“I didn’t think you would,” she said avoiding my eyes. “When did you sleep with him again? Was it Friday night? Was it after he pretended to be your boyfriend?” I refused to lie anymore. From now on, I’d be straight with both of them. “Yeah, it was.”

“And you didn’t think to use any restraint?” she said as she spun around to face me.

“For Morgan’s sake?”

“Did you?” I spit back at her. “Did you think to use restraint for Dustin’s sake?” I knew that was hitting below the belt but damn if I was going to let her do this to me.

I’d been carrying enough guilt around with me to where I was going to need a wheelbarrow pretty soon. And even though I detested seeing the flicker of pain shoot through her eyes, I had to get my point across.

“My situation was total y different,” she whispered. “And you told me you understood.”

“I did,” I said, my voice softening. “Now I’m asking you to understand. I love him, Irelyn. I truly love Col in. I’m not just messing around.”

“Morgan loves him, too,” she said, not budging from her earlier point. “Morgan who is too shy to say anything to anyone. Morgan who deserves to not have her heart broken.”

“So that’s just it, huh?” I asked as my heart broke. “That’s the way you think this should go. You think I should just step aside and let Morgan take a shot at him?”

“Yes,” she said, eyes on mine. “I do.”

I nodded, my lips screwed up in thought. “I see. So, we’l al cheer on sweet little Morgan and hope that Col in feels the same way for her. It doesn’t matter what Bailey feels though, right? Because Bailey’s feelings don’t real y count.”

“That’s not true,” Irelyn said, shaking her head. “That’s not true at al . You and Morgan are two entirely different people – with different personalities.”

“I got you,” I said as my heart split down the middle. “I know, Irelyn, it’s al right. I understand. Let’s let the good girl get the good boy because everyone knows that the bad girl doesn’t real y love anyone anyway. Right?”

“Bailey,” Irelyn tried to protest.

“Shut up,” I barked. “Don’t worry about me. You’re right – sweet Morgan wil never fal in love again but Bailey – shit, she’l have a new guy next week.” I set the bottle down easily on the coffee table. “I need to get out of here for awhile. Don’t worry, I won’t say a word to Morgan or Spencer about when I had sex with Col in. We’l keep it a secret so no one gets hurt.”

“Bailey, do not leave,” Irelyn said. “We’re not through here.”

“I am,” I said, my insides shaking. “I’m way through here.” I yanked the door open and jogged down the stairs, too agitated to wait for the elevator. I needed a real drink and a little space away from my friends. Things certainly hadn’t gone like I’d thought they would and I needed to rethink my decisions. And my options. And my heart.

Chapter Eleven

Not sure what to do at that point, I returned to the condo. I braced for Morgan’s explosion but al was quiet when I opened the door. Wel , except for Otis’s excited yips drifting in from the kitchen.

“Morg, are you here?” I cal ed as I paused in the mouth of the hal way. Nothing.

With a shrug, I went into the kitchen to release Otis from his crate. He jumped on my legs, happy barks emitting from his mouth.

“How about a walk?” I asked as I located his leash. His barks grew higher in pitch.

I clipped the leash to his col ar and let him pul me out the door.

As I walked, my mind wandered, rol ing through recent events. I realized that everything had started fal ing apart after that first night with Col in.

"No, that's not true," I mumbled to myself as Otis paused to sniff a fire hydrant. "It started fal ing apart after I figured out that I was in love with Col in."

A wry smile drifted across my face. I'd known al along that love was nothing but a hassle. Look what had happened to Irelyn and that she'd gone through last year?

And now this.

Tiring of the fire hydrant, Otis yanked on the leash, urging me forward. My feet fol owed while my mind was stil lost in some crazy world.

I'd been stupid to think that I could easily fal in love and live happily ever after. I'd never been that type of person. People certainly didn't look at me that way. I was Bailey, the chick that flitted from man to man, never settling down. When I tried, I just wreaked havoc on those around me, leaving pain and anger in my wake.

"That's just it," I said as Otis final y found an acceptable spot to do his business. "I need to stop this insane idea that I'm in love and go back to the way I used to be. I'l go out tonight and find someone to help me forget Col in and everything else."

With a plan in mind, I dutiful y cleaned up after the dog and coaxed him back to the condo.

***

After a long, pampering bath, I dressed in a short skirt and a white halter. I shoved my feet in two inch stilettos, painted my face, and brushed my hair into a sleek, dark curtain down my back. Satisfied with my appearance, I grabbed my phone, bag, and keys before heading out the door. Not wanting to go to Rusty's, even if it was open on a Sunday, I decided to head to the outskirts of town. I had to use my phone to give me directions to the little club Spencer had talked about several times but had never taken me to it.

The Tail Feather Club was a story building with a gravel parking lot and not a whole lot of charm. The outside was sided like a house and could almost pass for one except for the gaudy neon sign of a chicken shaking its tail feathers blinking in the window.

It took my eyes a few minutes to get accustomed to the dim, smoky interior, but once they did, I was able to make my way to the horseshoe bar in the center of the room. Taking a seat, I turned to check out the dance floor near the back but several wood pil ars obstructed my view. I had to lean to my left to see the sparse group out on the floor, enjoying the beat of some unfamiliar tune blaring from the jukebox.

To my right was a wooden staircase leading to the second floor. I could only wonder what was up there as a rope was stretched across the bottom step with a sign warning customers that only employees were al owed to cross.

"Can I get you something?"

Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled at the young guy tending the bar. He was sort of cute in a big, bulky way.

"Whisky and soda, please," I said with a wink.

The corners of his mouth turned up as he nodded. He mixed my drink with professional care and slid it to me. I paid him as I turned back to the bar to take a sip.

"Nice place," I said.

He lifted a shoulder. "It's al right."

"How is it open on a Sunday?" I asked.

He pointed over his shoulder at a door next to the staircase. "Kitchen. We serve a lot of food on Sundays."

"I see," I said. My eyes darted to the tables that were near the kitchen door. Several people sat, eating burgers and other bar type of foods. My stomach gave a tiny grumble but I wasn't interested in that sort of sustenance.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone?" the bartender asked.

I lifted a brow, amused. "Is that a pickup line?"

"No," he said rather quickly. "I just hate to see nice girls in a place like this alone. A lot of sharks in the water, if you know what I mean."

Laughing, I reached over the bar to pat his hand. "I appreciate your concern but I can take care of myself."

He grinned as he plucked a cigarette out of a pack and lit it. "I'm sure you can."

I nodded at the pack he'd set on the bar. "Can I bum one? I haven't smoked in awhile but I think a cigarette would be mighty fine right now."

Picking up the pack, he offered me one. Once I pushed it in my mouth, he lit it for me, too.

"Thanks," I said. "What's your name?"

"Scooter," he said. "And you are?"

"Bailey."

"Nice to meet you, Bailey," he said, shoving an ashtray between us. "Now, are you going to tel me what you're doing here?"

"Slumming," I said, inhaling smoke that burned my chest. I tried not to cough. I'd never been a regular smoker and it had been awhile since I'd last had one, but this was real y ridiculous.

"You're too pretty to be slumming," he said with such honesty that I actual y believed he wasn't just trying to pick me up.

"Thanks. You're sweet," I said.

Before he could answer, a hand landed on my shoulder. "Wel , look who decided to grace this place with her royal presence."

I set my cigarette in the ashtray before turning around to face Owen. "Like I told Scooter, here - I'm slumming."

Owen's smile lit up his face. He real y was quite attractive - for a slimebal . "So glad you decided to slum in my place."

"Sure," I said as I rol ed my eyes.

"Scooter, this beautiful young lady drinks on the house," Owen said. I didn't hea r Scooter's reply.

"Thanks," I said as Owen took the barstool next to me. "I forgot that you own the place."

"It was my father's," he explained as he nodded to Scooter. "I take care of it now."

"Excel ent," I said although I could care less. Stil , he could probably prove to be a means to an end if I had the urge…

"Where are al of your friends?" Owen asked as his eyes scanned the bar. "Especial y that cute, sweet quiet one? What was her name -