Vicious Circles (19 page)

But I was sticking to my guns. I stil thought she blew things way out of proportion and even though I could see why she’d be upset, I didn’t understand why she didn’t let it go.

I parked in front of the house and gathered Otis in my arms. The guys were already in the garage – I could hear them- but I skirted the huge doors and deposited Otis in the backyard where Milo greeted him excitedly. I watched the pups frolic for few minutes before draping Otis’s leash over the gate and trudging to the garage.

I slipped in the door while the guys were mid-song and grinned at Irelyn. She waved me over to the chair she’d set up for me. I was vastly relieved not to see Tori anywhere.

As I sat next to Irelyn, I final y al owed myself to look at Col in. I caught his eye and he winked, sending a chil up my spine and making me feel like that pathetic lovesick little girl. I hated him for that but loved him al the same.

“He was asking me al about you,” Irelyn whispered in my ear. “He wanted to know how you were taking Morgan’s moving out.” I shrugged while inside I was a bit of a mess. Why would he care when he’d spent the better part of a week with Tori? Or was he hinting around to see if I knew? I leaned into Irelyn. “Next time, tel him to mind his own damn business.” She blinked rapidly and pul ed away to flash me a puzzled look. I raised a brow and shrugged. Screw it. If he could be mysterious about Tori then I could be a bitch about Morgan.

The guys played a couple songs before taking a break and joining us. Spencer passed out the drinks but I shook my head when he offered me a beer. I needed to chil on that stuff before it got out of hand.

“Okay, ladies,” Spencer said as he twisted the top off a beer and took a long slug.

“Tel us what’s going on with Morgan.” I rol ed my eyes and grimaced in disgust.

“What is this – some kind of jacked up intervention?”

“No,” Lucas said as he sat on the cooler, dragging Irelyn out of her chair and into his lap. “But I know Irelyn has been upset about the whole thing. I imagine you are too, even though you’d rather act like a bad ass.” I clicked my tongue and released a long sigh. “Whatever. Look, if she doesn’t want to live with me, fine. Not many people can tolerate me, anyway. And if she thinks she’s so much better than me and Irelyn, let her. I mean, we’re nothing but a couple of lowly whores in her opinion.”

“Bailey,” Irelyn growled in warning. “You know that’s not true.” I lifted a shoulder, astutely avoiding Col in’s eyes. “Whatever. If you guys want to know what’s going inside Morgan’s head, then cal and ask her.

I sure the hel don’t know.”

“She won’t answer my cal s,” Spencer said. “I’ve even gone to the bookstore and she ignores me.”

“Sorry, Spence,” I mumbled.

“What happened?” he persisted.

“She’s mad at Irelyn for supposedly taking my side. As for why she’s mad at me,” I paused, dying to glance at Col in but knowing as soon as I did it would give everything away. “That’s between Morgan and me.”

“Bailey,” Spencer whined.

“No, Spence,” Col in said quietly. “Let it go, man. Bailey’s right – it’s her business.” I could have kissed him – real y wanted to – but I just offered him a grateful smile. He returned it but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Confusion flitted swiftly across his face and made me wonder what he could possibly be confused about – he pretty much knew the deal between me and Morgan. I was the confused one.

“Let’s go through the songs on the list for Friday night,” Lucas suggested as he scooted Irelyn gently off his lap. He pressed a kiss to her temple and jealousy raged throughout my body. How I wished I had that kind of relationship with Col in.

The guys went back to work and I sat silently by Irelyn, commenting here and there when she spoke to me. My mind was whirling, trying to figure out what to do next. I couldn’t stand that my life was in such disarray.

When they finished for the night, Col in offered to throw some burgers on the gril and since everyone else was amiable to it, I had to agree.

Spencer and Lucas fiddled with the gril under Irelyn’s keen supervision. Col in grabbed my arm and dragged me into the kitchen, mumbling that he needed my help with the food.

“Talk to me Bailey,” he said as we entered the kitchen. He dropped my arm and opened the freezer. He retrieved a package of hamburger patties, tossed them on a plate, and set them in the microwave. Once he had them defrosting, he leaned against the counter and folded his arms over his chest. “You’ve been fairly quiet al night.”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked. “You know what’s going on – there’s nothing new to report.” His shoulders slumped as he sighed and bent his head. “Are you pissed at me for some reason?” He lifted his eyes to me, very much resembling a lost little boy – it tugged at my heart.

“No,” I whispered, unable to admit the real reason for my cold shoulder. “Just dealing with the Morgan situation. I was actual y thinking about talking to Spencer.

Think it wil help?”

He straightened and screwed his face up in concentration tel ing me I’d successful y dodged a big bul et. “Maybe. I don’t think it wil hurt.” He dropped his arms. “Are you going to tel him about us?”

What us? I wanted to ask. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t see the point.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said as he turned to watch the patties spin in the microwave. A heavy silence descended upon us and I could tel he was struggling to chase it away much like I was. I hated the awkwardness – it unnerved me.

“So, um, where have you been?” I asked.

He shot me a brief, guilty look before concentrating on the defrosting meat. “Um, with Tori. She needed help with something.” I nodded and swal owed the huge lump in my throat. I could not let him know how much it hurt to hear him admit to me that he'd been with her and not offer any explanations.

I opened the refrigerator and gathered condiments, placing them careful y on the table. Sensing my unease, he fetched a stack of plates and silverware. Once everything was set, I escaped outside, claiming I was thirsty and wanted a water bottle from the cooler.

I relaxed somewhat as we al ate and even laughed a little bit at the puppies’ antics.

As the evening dwindled, I made my excuses to leave. I whistled for Otis and attached his leash.

“Hey, Bailey,” Spencer cal ed. I paused and lifted a brow. “Can you give me a lift home? I rode with Lucas and Irelyn.”

“Sure,” I said as I waved to everyone.

We barely got out of the driveway when Spencer started riddling me with questions.

“I know something is going on that everyone is keeping from me and you’re the only one who’l be straight with me.”

I glanced at him, holding Otis in his lap, and decided to be as straight as possible –

he deserved it. “Okay, Spence, here goes. Morgan is pissed at me because I hurt you.”

“Bailey,” he pleaded.

“No, wait,” I snapped. “She told me that you cal ed her the day after we split and cried to her – tel ing her that you were in love with me.” He sighed and lightly banged his head on the window. “Yeah, I did,” he said in a low voice. “But I think I was just a little upset at the time. I don’t think I was real y in love with you but I did like you a lot. Sounds sort of childish, huh?”

“No,” I said.

“I was more pissed at myself because you told me al along that you didn’t want to get serious and I let myself get al into you. It was my fault, not yours.”

“Spencer, why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I couldn’t, Bailey. I was embarrassed. And I didn’t want you blaming yourself, like you’re doing now. I didn’t want to cause any problems but I did anyway. Shit.” I took a huge breath and released it slowly. “Spence, you didn’t cause this – not knowingly at least,” I said. “Um, wel , I recently found out that Morgan has a thing for you. She’s sort of in love with you and that’s why she’s so mad at me. She said that you told her you wouldn’t date her because of me.”

“Oh, hel ,” he said, running his free hand through his hair. “She asked me to some party with her and I told her it wasn’t right because I didn’t know how you’d take it. I thought she was only trying to be nice and cheer me up. I didn’t know.”

“I know that,” I said gently.

“Didn’t any of us learn anything from the whole Lucas/Irelyn fiasco?” he asked in a feeble attempt at humor.

“Guess not,” I said, not wanting him to know just how much we hadn’t learned. Look at the secret I was harboring – the secret we were al hiding from him. He needed to know the truth but the problem was, I didn’t know who should tel him – me or Col in? And did it real y matter since Col in was not interested in me – at least from a relationship standpoint?

“I don’t know what to do,” he said.

“You and me both,” I said as I pul ed in front of his building. “But don’t sweat it, Spencer. I think this is something Morgan is going to have to work out for herself. I think she needs to know we’re stil her friends but I don’t think there’s much else we can do.” He cupped my chin and looked straight in my eyes. “Bailey, if there’s someone else, don’t be afraid to tel me. I care about you and I want to see you happy.”

That pesky lump r

eappeared in my throat. Why couldn’t I love him? “There’s no one, Spence. But thanks.” He nodded and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before setting Otis on the seat and exiting. I watched him climb the steps to his apartment then patted Otis’s head and put the car in gear. I had to get my life straight and soon.

Chapter Fifteen

The end of summer break was rapidly approaching and I knew I was going to have to make a decision about dorm life. Seeing as Irelyn was now living with Lucas and attending Community Col ege and Morgan wasn’t speaking to me, I was low on roommate options. Besides, I wasn’t sure what would happen to Otis. Col in probably would take him but I would miss the little furbal too much.

I’d only signed a month to month lease on the condo and I could probably extend it

– hel I could extend it for a year. But the condo hardly seemed like home anymore.

Maybe I could find something else…

I went to Rusty’s Friday night and sat like a statue beside Irelyn. We both ignored the empty chair that Morgan used to occupy and concentrated instead on the band.

It wasn’t as enjoyable as in the past but I managed to stick to soda. That is, until Tori showed up, grinning like mad and planting her butt in Morgan’s chair.

“Hey, Irelyn,” Tori said. My stomach churned. “Hi, Bailey.”

“Tori!” Irelyn greeted. “Where have you been?”

“Oh, just had some things to take care of,” she said as she motioned for the waitress. She ordered a soda and I ordered a beer. Screw the no booze rule. “So, have they finished the first set?”

“Yes,” I said, as I accepted my beer. I sucked on it eagerly, ignoring the little voice in my head tel ing me to take it easy.

“So what brings you down here?” Irelyn asked, her body rigid. I cracked a smile –

Tori’s presence wasn’t as welcome for her, either.

Tori shrugged as she toyed with her glass. “Col in kept insisting that I come down –

he said I sit in the house too much.” She lifted her head to flash Irelyn a shy smile.

“He’s right so I told him I’d come after work.”

Wonderful, I thought. Front row seats to the lovefest. Just what I needed. I considered making my excuses and leaving before they finished playing. But of course I didn’t. Curiosity – morbid as it was – forced me to stay. I was interested to see how they interacted together. If they fel al over each other like Irelyn and Lucas tended to do, I’d escape as quickly as possible.

“Morgan didn’t show, huh?” Tori asked.

“Obviously not,” I muttered. Irelyn glared at me, warning me to back off. I rol ed my eyes and smiled brightly at Tori. “She doesn’t associate with us anymore.”

“Col in told me,” Tori said. “I tried to cal her but I got her voice mail. Col in thought she might talk to me but apparently she doesn’t associate with me, either.” Too bad, I thought. They’d get along wel together. They could compare notes on how they each had a thing for the guys I’d either dated or wanted to date. What a lovely little club that would make. Maybe they could cal Veronica and she could be the club president. Oh, and they could name the club “Let’s Make Bailey’s Life a Living Hel .” Catchy title.

They guys finished while I was mul ing over the club so I nearly jumped when they plopped down at our table. Lucas squeezed in between me and Irelyn while Spencer sat next to me. Col in, of course, sat next to Tori but I didn’t see any contact. Maybe they’d do that later.

“You seem out of sorts tonight,” Spencer observed as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. “What’s the matter?”

“Not a thing,” I said as I smiled and patted his cheek. “Thinking about joining a new club.” His brow wrinkled in response but he didn’t say anything. He motioned for the waitress and ordered a round of drinks.

As everyone discussed what to do with the rest of the evening, I kept to myself. I was trying to figure out how to leave without a mil ion people asking me if I was okay or if something was wrong. I just couldn’t take seeing Col in with Tori.

So he didn’t hold her hand or kiss her or anything – that didn’t matter. He was next to her. He'd invited her to be there. She came. That was enough. If I rammed a machete through my chest it stil wouldn’t hurt as much.

But what hurt the most were the little looks Col in kept giving me. Confused looks.

Concerned looks. It took al I had to keep my mouth shut and not ask him what the hel his problem was. He was there with the woman he supposedly loved and I was here with Spencer, my good friend who I, for some reason, couldn’t fal in love with.

What a shame, too.

The conniving part of my brain came to life and urged me to go ahead with the others over to Col in’s place. Maybe Tori would grow tired and head up to her apartment then I could seduce Col in and show him a real woman. I knew he had a hard time resisting me. He might not love me but he sure the hel lusted after me and I never, for as long as I’d known him, seen him look at Tori like he was aching inside to touch her.

That thought brought a smug smile to my face which did not go unnoticed by Col in.