Victoria's Got a Secret (6 page)

She slid her body over his and drew his attention back with the simple touch of her palm against his cheek. “Have any other ideas of what we can do?”

“I’m only human, you know.”

She understood his point. Her happily exhausted body might not even be able to react without a refueling and a bit of rest. “We could cuddle.”

He snorted. “I’m betting that lasts for about five minutes.”

“Don’t think I can control myself?”

He threw the paper over the side of the bed. “I know I can’t.”

Six

Do not lose your head over a pretty face.

—Grandma Gladys, The Duchess

H
EATHER STOOD BY THE SINK ON
T
UESDAY MORNING
. She stopped pouring coffee long enough to look up and smile. “I’m surprised you can still move.”

Jennifer inhaled the fresh scent as she dropped into the nearest chair, craving caffeine. “You’ll notice I’m sitting.”

“So,” Heather sat across from her sister and passed a mug in her general direction. “How was it?”

Jennifer ached all over, but in a good way. There wasn’t an inch of flesh Paul hadn’t conquered. He kissed her until her ankles dug into the mattress and she begged for more. When he pressed inside her, she questioned why she ever made them wait so long.

But there was only so much she was willing to share. She and Heather had traded stories about boys and later men, whispered gossip about everyone they knew, and divulged their most secret wishes. Jennifer cried in Heather’s arms after she broke up with Paul years ago.

Despite Heather knowing everything, Jennifer wanted to keep some parts of the intimate weekend private. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

Heather tapped her fingernails against the table. “She does if she doesn’t want her big sister to smack her.”

“Seeing him again . . .” Jennifer shook her head, afraid to say anything more and jinx it. “I can’t even describe it.”

“Try.”

“In a word.” Jennifer sipped on her coffee and peeked over the rim at her sister. “Fantastic.”

“Ha!” Heather sat back with her patented I-told-you-so smile full on her lips. “Aren’t you glad you called?”

“You’re just trying to take credit.”

“I am the one who told you to do it.”

“You did not.”

“Okay, you were going to do it anyway, but I told you that you should.” Heather waved her hand in dismissal. “So, how fantastic?

Like off-the-charts or just-getting-started fantastic?”

Paul slipped into the room and leaned against the doorway. “What are we talking about?”

Jennifer didn’t know where he found the navy sweatpants and slim gray tee, but she liked the casual look. The relaxed, mussed-from-sleep hair and sexy eyes. It was all she could do not to drag him down the hall to the bedroom one more time.

From the stupid grin on his face, she knew he’d overheard most of the conversation, so she didn’t try to hide it. “How amazing you are in bed.”

He pushed off from the wall and headed her way. “Well, a man can’t ask for more than that.”

She lifted her head for a lingering morning kiss. She could feel the smile on his lips and enjoyed the sure hold of his fingers on the back of her neck.

“I admire your humbleness.” She mumbled the words against his mouth.

“Handsome and humble. That’s quite a combination,” Heather said as she reached behind her, letting her chair rest on the back two legs. She swiped another mug off the counter and let it clang against the table.

“I’m impressed you remembered to put pants on.” Jennifer tapped his nose before pointing at the chair next to hers.

“I have a few brain cells left, but they’re fighting each other for a caffeine fix.” The chair let out a loud screech as he dragged it closer to hers and slipped his arms around her shoulders.

“I’m sure your boss will appreciate that.” It was the unspoken issue. The one she’d ignored but knew would creep up and smack her eventually. Reality had a way of doing that.

He had a life hours away from hers. She had finished college and was waiting for her marketing job to start. She could afford a few days of fun, but he didn’t have that luxury. He had to be self-reliant and responsible all the time, since he was a teenager.

She had Heather to pick up the slack if she needed it. He had no one.

“Thanks for the caffeine reinforcement.” He winked at Heather while he said it.

It was what he didn’t say that worried Jennifer. He’d ignored her comment and didn’t show any signs of coming back to it later. They’d been so busy working out the desire she stockpiled for years, so wrapped up in their intimacy and getting to know each other again, that they’d skipped over the simple details.

“Why aren’t you at work?” she asked, trying a second time to get an answer to the question that refused to leave her brain.

“What do you mean?”

“Won’t your boss be upset?”

Paul took a long drink. “No.”

The pulling-teeth thing made her want to scream. And not in a good way. It reminded her of all the things that ticked her off in the past. “Because?”

“Because I don’t have one.”

The words splashed against her with the force of a bucket of ice water. Gone was the bantering byplay. This was something she could not joke around or ignore. “What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

“Repeat it, and try explaining this time.”

“I left my job to come here.”

The comment didn’t make any sense. It was irresponsible to walk away from a paying job for sex, no matter how long it had been or how good it was. “You quit your job to visit me for the weekend?”

He grabbed the milk and started to pour. “Not really.”

She grabbed the pitcher from his hand and thumped it against the table with such force she was surprised it didn’t crumble in her hand. “Paul.”

“What are you—”

“Talk.”

He stared at her for a few seconds too long. “I’m moving here.”

“Where?”

“Toronto. More specifically, this apartment.” His eyes narrowed.

“I thought you figured that out already.”

She pushed her chair back and stood up. He couldn’t touch her. Not now. She needed a Paul-free-zone and zero temptation to get through this. She refused to be sidetracked by the confusion in those intense green eyes.

She put a chair and the table between them and held the back of her seat in a death grip. “Since when?”

“We talked about this on the phone.”

“No. We talked about you coming here for a visit.”

“I was talking about relocating.”

She tightened her hold. “Did you think to mention it to me?”

“I thought that’s what we were doing. Discussing and agreeing.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I should leave.” Heather started to stand up.

Jennifer pointed at the chair her sister had just abandoned. “Sit.”

“Okay.” Heather’s eyes were as wide as Paul’s. She sat there, unmoving except for her gaze, which kept switching between Jennifer and Paul.

“Did you know about this?” Jennifer asked Heather, even though she knew the answer.

“Ted mentioned—”

That was all Jennifer needed to know. She held up her hand to Heather and turned her wrath on Paul. “Explain why I’m the last one to get the memo on this event.”

“Can you calm down first?”

“No.” She seethed. It was a miracle that fire didn’t shoot out of the top of her head. “Start.”

Paul inhaled as he set his mug away from him and folded his hands together on the tabletop. “Ted and I talked. He said I could come live with you guys and gave me a lead or two on some jobs.”

“You’re unemployed.”

Paul’s jaw tightened, but his voice remained even. “I do seasonal construction work. You know that.”

“How do you get from there to moving in together?”

“I just thought—”

“What?” she barked at him, unable to control her temper as it raged like an out-of-control beast.

“I can work from here.”

This time when Heather stood up Jennifer didn’t say anything. With her face pale and her hand shaking, Heather slipped out the door. Jennifer couldn’t figure out if she was angry or relieved at not having an audience.

She did have to calm her racing heart or it would beat right out of her chest. She took a deep breath and tried to lower her voice.

“You assumed we’d pick up where we left off in high school.”

“No, since we didn’t live together in high school and we’re going to now.”

“No, we’re not.” The harsh whisper sounded so strange in her ears.

“What is wrong with you?”

He wanted to jump over all the hard parts, as if they didn’t have a history, when from what she could see his communication skills still needed a lot of work. “You don’t get to use an easy pass and step right back into my life without even consulting me.”

His mouth dropped open. “You called me.”

“I didn’t invite you to take half my closet.”

He slumped back in his seat with his mouth dropped open. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He kept pushing her. She felt pressured and backed into a corner. Not that she didn’t want to be with him. She did. But she wanted him to work at it, for them to find their way together. She wanted them to go through the natural steps of dating and not fast forward simply because they had a history and were looking for easy.

“We are not living together.” She had vowed never to live with a man and was not ready to make an exception after a few great hours together.

“Why?” He out-shouted her with his simple question.

“That’s a huge step, and we’re not ready.”

He growled. Actually threw his head back and let out a loud groan that wound to a yell. When he sat back up, his eyes were alive with fire. “I swear that’s your favorite phrase. You throw it out whenever things get a little close between us, then you hide behind it.”

“That’s not fair.”

He threw his arms open wide. “And this is?”

She beat back the unwanted guilt and focused on staying strong. “We’re talking.”

“You’re kicking me out.”

“When did I say that?”

“What else do you call it?”

“You’re purposely misunderstanding what I’m saying.”

“I let my apartment go. I moved here to be with you.” He shook his head. “Why in the hell do you think it took me so long to get here after you called the first time?”

That part now made some sense, but his failure to actually state his plans during any of their phone conversations that lonely month made her wonder if he was once again trying to hide something from her. She’d been there and had no interest in going back to the days of trying to engage in mind-reading just to figure out where he had been the night before.

Sure, he was an adult, and according to their mutual friends a pretty responsible one, but he hedged and her defenses went up. She dug in, could feel every muscle in her body tense as her mind spun with worst-case scenarios. She hated that she went there, right to the bad stuff, but the memories were so sharp. She couldn’t shake them. And until she could, they needed to back up and go slow.

“You can’t make plans without my input, Paul.” Her nails dug into the wooden chair. “You’re trying to change everything and sweep me right along with you.”

“I just want to be with you.”

Her resolved softened. “I feel the same.”

He shoved the coffee mug away from him. “You’re not acting like it.”

His anger kept hers brewing. “You . . . you barged in here.”

His eyes bugged. “Barged?”

The conversation kept spinning and expanding until it took on an energy all its own. Accusations had to be next. They could circle back around and keep arguing or she could end it.

“You have to leave.”

“The house or your life?”

The idea of losing him forever this time slammed into her gut and made her stumble back. “I’m talking about not moving in together.”

“Are you sure that’s all you’re saying, because it sounds deeper to me.”

“I’m not talking to you until you move out.” She didn’t know how else to get his attention but to draw a line and refuse to cross it.

“What kind of crazy childish bullshit is that?”

“You’ll live in your house. I’ll live in mine. We’ll date like normal people.”

He wiped a hand through his hair, then stared at her. “You have to be kidding.”

“That way we can decide where we are and what we need.”

And she hoped with everything inside her they’d discover they needed each other. She’d always felt it there, rumbling in the back of her mind. She wanted a chance to investigate it. Make sure there was something worth nurturing and growing.

A nerve in his cheek twitched. “I know what I want. I don’t need to live ten minutes away to figure that out.”

“I do.”

He threw up his hands. “Of course you do. Why am I surprised?”

A deathly silence descended on the kitchen. Except for the hum of the refrigerator, nothing in the room moved or made a sound. Inside, the blood thundered through her veins and pounded in her ears.

“You’re rushing me,” she whispered when she couldn’t take the quiet one more second.

“Not anymore.” Without looking at her, he stood up and walked out of the kitchen.