Vow to Protect (11 page)

But just seeing the way Diana smiled at him and the way Sylvie tilted her head as she listened—really listened—to what he had to say, made her realize for the first time that Cord had his own life beyond her. That he had his own roots. His own family. Even if he was only just starting to know them.

“Take a seat, Melanie. Everyone. We have some things to discuss.” Reed's voice cut through the small talk with the harsh tone of reality.

Melanie sank into a chair at the edge of the cabin, Cord next to her. Diana and Sylvie perched on the edge of the bed. It wasn't until Bryce's foot steps clunked down the stairs and he entered the room that Melanie realized the boat had stopped moving forward. With the roll of the waves, they were bobbing up and down so much, she hadn't been able to tell.

In a low voice, Reed filled them in on Meredith Unger's murder and her call to Cord. He brushed over Nikki Valducci's arguments for setting a trap, but no matter how much he downplayed his fellow detective's ideas, Melanie could see the determination harden in Diana's eyes, just as it had in Cord's.

Diana brushed a lock of blond hair over one shoulder. “We need to give him his wedding reception.”

Reed closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them, he sank down onto the bed next to his wife and took her hand in his. “We can't do that.”

“Why not? Cord and I can pull it off. Sylvie can stay here.”

Sylvie opened her mouth to protest, but Diana held up a hand to cut her off. “You have to think of the baby, Syl. You can stay with Melanie and Ethan.”

Sylvie reluctantly agreed.

Diana closed her hand over Reed's. “Cord can deliver me to Kane. And you'll be right behind him.”

“You really want to do that?” The horror in Bryce Walker's voice echoed the feeling in Melanie's own stomach.

“No. Of course not.” Diana shifted on the bed, no doubt uncomfortable just thinking about the prospect. “I still have nightmares about him. But those nightmares aren't just going to disappear. Especially with him free.”

Reed shook his head. “There has to be another way.”

“What if there isn't?” Diana said.

“Why don't I go alone?”

All eyes focused on Cord. Worry dug into the back of Melanie's neck. “You can't go alone.”

“Why not? I could have a couple of dummies in the car, or better, cops. By the time Kane figures out they aren't Diana and Sylvie, he'll have a gun muzzle pointed at his head.”

Melanie shook her head. “It's too dangerous.”

“How is it less dangerous to have Diana with me?”

She shook her head again. That wasn't what she was getting at. “Meeting with him at all is too dangerous. This trap is too dangerous.”

“I agree.”

Melanie gave Reed a nod, glad to have the detective on her side.

“But if Cord is willing, we could set up a cop to act as Diana,” Reed added.

So much for an ally. Reed McCaskey was willing to put Cord's life on the line. As long as his wife was safe, he didn't see the problem. “And you're going to put Cord into the middle of this unarmed?”

Reed pressed his lips into a line.

She looked to Cord. Neither one seemed to want to answer that one. Not a big surprise considering the gun and pep talk Reed had given Cord after Kane had tried to kidnap Ethan.

“And if you kill him, Cord, what happens then? Do you go back to prison?” She spun to Reed. The detective might have good reason for wanting
Kane dead. Heck, the world had good reason. But if Cord was the one who pulled that trigger or slipped a knife between the monster's ribs, what would happen to him?

“I can't promise anything. I have to uphold the law.”

“So you can suggest Cord kill a man, even give him a weapon, and then you dust off your hands and walk away?”

“It's not like that, Melanie.”

“It's not going to work anyway,” Diana said, cutting off her husband.

“Why not?”

“Kane won't fall for it. He's smart. He's going to be looking for something like that.”

“Not if he's desperate enough to get his hands on you.”

“Even then. I'm telling you, you're underestimating him.”

“As Nikki said, he's showing signs of stress. And he's desperate.” Reed's tone was firm, no doubt meant to cut off debate. “It's settled. Tomorrow we'll take Melanie and Ethan to the airport, then Cord can pick up Kane's flowers and cake. And we'll take it from there.”

Melanie shook her head. She didn't like it. Not that she had any say as to what Cord decided, but almost wished she did. She wished she could
demand he come to Disney. She wished she could demand he stay as far from Dryden Kane as possible.

“I'm not setting out to murder him. Believe me, Mel. But I am going to protect myself. I am going to protect my family.”

My family.
Ethan, Diana and Sylvie. They were all Cord's family.

The same sensation she'd felt after she'd set Ethan up with his DVD swept over her. The feeling that Cord was connected. If she thought about it, he was more connected than she was.

“Your son is so lucky, Melanie.”

Melanie turned to look at Sylvie. “Lucky?”

“I know we just met. But even in these few minutes, I can tell Ethan has quite a mother in you. And a brave, selfless father in Cord. One who really cares about him.” Her lips tilted upward in a sad smile. “Neither Diana nor I have ever known that.”

“Mom?”

Ice filled Melanie's veins. She turned toward the cabin's doorway and met her son's wide eyes.

“Is Cord my dad?”

Numbness settled into Melanie's bones. There had to be words to explain, words that would take the look of betrayal from her son's eyes. But if those words did exist, she had no idea what they were. “I'm sorry, Ethan. I should have told you.”

Tears rushed into his eyes. He spun around and ran out of the room. On the other side of the galley kitchen, a door slammed.

“I'm so sorry,” Sylvie said in a horrified whisper. “I thought he was in the other room. I had no idea—”

Melanie held up a hand. She couldn't stand to hear Sylvie's apologies. Not for something
she
had done. Good reasons or not, she had lied to her son. And even after he'd confessed his wish that Cord was his father, she still hadn't come clean. “It's not your fault, Sylvie. It's mine. If you'll all excuse me, I have to talk to him.”

Cord grasped her arm before she could make it out the door. He looked down at her with hurting eyes. Lost eyes. She could tell by his look that he wanted to help, wanted her to tell him what to do.

She couldn't manage. Not now. She didn't have any idea what to do herself. She just needed to be with her son. To touch him. To tell him she loved him. To make sure he was going to be okay.

To make sure he forgave her. “I'll be back. I just need to see him first. Alone.”

Cord nodded and released her arm.

She hurried out the door and through the kitchen. The boat swayed under her feet, making her feel more shaky, more uncertain. All her life she'd wanted to protect Ethan. How could she have failed so miserably? She rapped on the door and pushed it open.

Ethan sat on the edge of the bed, his back to her. He held his shoulders stiff, as if he could force the tears back or the screams or whatever he must want to do.

“Ethan?”

He didn't move.

She closed the door behind her and stepped into the room. “Can we talk?”

He shook his head.

“I want to try to explain things to you. I want to help you understand.”

He said nothing, his silence cutting deeper than vicious words ever could.

She opened her mouth, then closed it without saying anything. What could she say? She could never explain why she'd lied about his father, why she'd told him Cord was dead. The most eloquent words on earth would never make him understand.

Sylvie was right. Having parents who cared was a priceless thing. More important than all the money or opportunity or luck in the world. And Cord cared. He cared now, and he would have cared when he was eighteen. Would have, if she'd told him the truth.

And that was exactly why she hadn't. Because she'd known he would want to be part of his son's life. Because she'd known she would want him to be part. Because she didn't want Ethan to live through what she had. What so many of the kids in her neighborhood had. The humiliation of a father in prison. The blow to his self-esteem. The tendency to follow in the path of parents.

The path it had taken all her strength and determination to escape.

But she couldn't explain all that. Not that Ethan would listen now if she tried. The best she could do was apologize. If he knew how bad she felt, maybe in time he'd forgive her. Maybe then she
could make him understand. “I'm sorry, Ethan. What I did wasn't right. I should have told you the truth about your dad from the beginning. I should have told you both.”

Her son's shoulders rose and fell with each breath, but he didn't turn around. He didn't say a word.

Tears slid over her cheeks and tainted her lips with salt. She couldn't do this alone. She had for ten years, but she couldn't do it anymore. She'd made a mistake. A horrible mistake.

And she had no idea how she was going to fix it.

 

C
ORD STARED
at the closed door of the cabin. The boat was quiet, once again anchored in some remote location in the lake. They'd dropped Diana off with McCaskey at the pier, a chance for husband and wife to be together before returning the next day. Though judging from his sister's determination, he'd bet they'd spend the night arguing about how to trap Kane.

Sylvie and Walker had finally gone to bed, closing themselves in the other cabin. Cord had tried to make Sylvie feel better, but he doubted his efforts had worked. Her comments had been meant as praise. She'd had no idea her simple observation had been a time bomb in disguise.

The door to Ethan and Melanie's cabin rattled and the knob turned. Melanie stepped out into the
narrow kitchen. Puffy lower lids and bloodshot eyes told him she'd spent a good portion of the time in the cabin crying.

He reached out and touched her arm, unsure how to let her know he was here for her, that he wanted to help.

“I'm all right.”

She didn't look anywhere near “all right.”

“Ethan?”

“He's angry. Confused.”

“What did he say?”

“He wouldn't talk to me.”

“The whole time you were in there?”

She shook her head. Tears sparkled in the corners of her eyes. Her chest heaved, then lowered with a jerky motion. “You know, they say it's painful when your child lets you down. It's not. It's much worse the other way around.”

She was beating herself up. Taking the responsibility for everything on her shoulders. Taking the blame. “You did the right thing. The only thing you could do. You couldn't tell him.”

“He doesn't see it that way.” She let out a long breath. “I'm not sure if I see it that way anymore, either.”

He shook his head. An ache throbbed deep in his throat. He didn't understand what she was saying. He wasn't sure he wanted to. “He'll get over it.”

“Did you?”

“Me?”

“Your mother didn't tell you who your father was.”

“Seeing that he's a serial killer, I think that was the least of her sins.” He caught himself. His bitterness toward his mother wasn't helping. And it had nothing to do with Melanie's relationship with Ethan. “Scratch that. I don't have much to say about my mother. At least, nothing nice. But you're not like her. Don't you even think that for a second.”

She pressed her lips together as if she'd made up her mind not to listen.

Cord took her hands in his. Her skin was soft yet cold. “You knew my mother. You knew what she was like. She expected me to be a bad kid from the time I was born. Expected me to lie, to steal. I think she was actually relieved when I killed Snake. I think to her it was proof that she'd had me figured out all along.”

“Because she expected you to grow up like your father. Like Dryden Kane.”

Time for
him
to take responsibility. “I did.”

“No, you didn't.”

“I killed a man.”

“In self-defense. That's not the same as a man who kills more than a dozen women for enjoy
ment. A man who tortures and humiliates. A man who kills anyone who gets in the way.”

“Maybe not, but I landed in prison, just like my mother always said I would.”

“I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

So was he. He was sorry for all of it. The mistakes that were his fault and the mistakes that weren't. “The thing is, you aren't like her. You've always thought the best of Ethan. You've always
done
the best for him. He's a smart kid. He'll see that. He'll know.”

“God, I hope so. Right now I'll be happy if he ever talks to me again.”

He ran his fingers over her hands, drinking in the fine lines of her bones under her skin. So delicate. So fragile. “You were right not to tell him, Mel. About me or about Kane. Let it go.”

She closed her eyes. “Dryden Kane. I didn't even think about him. I wonder if Ethan has.”

Oh, hell. As if swallowing the fact that his father was an ex-con wasn't enough for one night, the kid also had to choke down the idea that his grandfather was a serial killer.

“I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life, I have no idea.” She looked down at the floor. Taking a deep breath, she returned her gaze to his face. “Help me.”

He couldn't have heard her right. “Mel?”

“Go in there with me. Help me talk to him. No matter what has happened in the past, you're his father, Cord. He needs you now.”

As she looked into his eyes, the void in his chest started filling. With strength. With hope. With purpose. He didn't know if he could do this. Didn't know if he'd be any good at all. But he couldn't say no. One look in Mel's eyes, one thought of his son behind that door, and he knew refusal wasn't possible. “You'll have to show me how.”

 

M
ELANIE FOLLOWED
Cord back into the cabin. The room was dark, only the light streaming in from the kitchen breaking the shadow and glistening in Ethan's hair. He sat with his back stiff, just as he'd been when she left him. A kid dealing with problems no adult should have to face.

The press of tears stung her sinuses. Her arms ached to wrap around her son, to take away his hurt. But it hadn't worked before and it wouldn't work now. She could only hope that Cord's presence would make a difference. That he would be able to talk to Ethan where she had failed.

“Hey, Ethan,” Cord said.

Ethan stared down at his hands folded between his knees, as if he hadn't heard a thing.

Cord stepped toward the bed, then hesitated. He glanced back at Melanie.

She gestured to the bed with a nod.

He stepped around the bed. “Mind if I sit down?”

Ethan looked up at him. His eyes glowed in the darkness. Shadows cupped his pale cheeks, making them look almost as round as they'd been when he was a baby. He looked back down to his hands.

Melanie let a breath escape. At least he didn't object.

Cord slid between Ethan's knees and the wall and sank to the bed. Melanie sat on Ethan's other side. “I know you're angry with me, Ethan. But we need to talk.”

He looked away, as if too disgusted to look at her. “I'm tired.”

She tried to grab hold of the ache in her chest, to keep it from overwhelming her. “I thought I was doing the right thing, not telling you about Cord. But I made a mistake. I'm sorry for that.”

Ethan didn't look at her, didn't acknowledge that she'd said a word. He looked up at Cord. “Didn't you want me? Is that why Mom lied?”

“Cord didn't know about you, Ethan. I didn't tell him.”

His head whipped around. His eyes cut into her like lasers. “Why?”

“Because I was afraid.” She swallowed back the tears. She couldn't break down. Ethan was
right to be angry with her, and she had to be strong enough to take it.

“We grew up in a really bad place with a lot of bad people,” Cord said in an even voice. “Kids saw their parents steal, so they thought it was all right. They saw their parents hurt others, so they thought that's what you had to do to prove you were tough. They saw their parents do drugs and get arrested, so it all felt normal to them.”

Ethan's eyebrows drew together.

“You don't understand, do you?”

He shook his head.

Cord nodded, as if that proved his point. “That's good. You don't understand because your mother got you out of that place. She got you out of that life.” He looked up at Melanie.

Warmth swept her skin. She'd made so many mistakes, yet to hear Cord, she was a heroine. Even though she'd not only cheated Ethan of his dad, she'd cheated Cord of his son.

“But why did she tell me you were dead?”

Her throat ached. That was how she'd felt when Cord had been arrested and throughout the years that followed. As if he was dead. Worse than dead. Because he'd chosen to become something he was not, something that represented the very thing she was trying to purge from her own life.

But that wasn't why she'd told Ethan he was
dead. She'd given Ethan that story so he'd never seek Cord out. So he'd never suffer the disappointment and humiliation she'd felt when she learned Cord had killed someone. When her own father had been hauled away for armed robbery when she was a little girl. “I never should have told you Cord was dead, Ethan.”

“When I got arrested, your mom was scared. She didn't want you to grow up like those other kids. She didn't want you to think breaking the law was okay.”

“Is lying okay?”

His question ground into her like gravel in an open wound. “Lying isn't okay, either. I was wrong.”

Ethan kept his eyes on Cord, acting as if Melanie wasn't even there. “Why didn't
you
tell me? When you found out, why didn't you tell me, too?”

Melanie laid her hand on her son's leg. “Cord only found out a couple of days ago. When he showed up at the house.”

Cord held up his hand. “But that doesn't change the fact that I should have told you. We both should have.”

Melanie nodded. He was right. There was no way around it.

“Why didn't you?”

“Because it was a lot to handle,” Melanie said. “A lot to make sense of all at once.”

Ethan's brows pulled together again.

Cord let out a breath. “I didn't think I'd be a good dad, Ethan. That's why
I
didn't tell you.”

“Why not?”

“I've done some bad things. I've been in prison. I guess I was as scared about that stuff as your mom.”

“Scared that I would be bad, too?”

“I never thought you'd be bad. I just worried that if I was your dad, you'd start thinking all the bad stuff I did was okay.”

Ethan stared at his hands.

Seconds ticked by. The boat rolled on the waves. The wind whistled outside. Melanie didn't know what had happened to the others, but the boat was so quiet it felt like she and Cord and Ethan were the only people in the world.

Ethan peered up at Cord. “Do you think it's okay? What
your
dad did?”