Vow Unbroken (32 page)

She sat back, stunned. “Marry you! Marry you?”

“That's right, Susannah. I'm asking if you'll spend the rest of your life with me, because I sure want to spend mine with you.”

Total fulfillment and elation soured to heartbreak in the time it took for her to digest his proposal. The yes died on her lips. She never looked away from his eyes. “Oh, Henry! There's nothing I'd ever want more! But I can't say yes, even though my heart is aching inside to have to tell you that I can't.” She shook her head. “It was my fault Andrew died. I made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break no matter how much I want to.”

“Let me rephrase my question, then.” He grinned. “Susannah Baylor, if your father gives us his blessing, will you marry me?”

Her heart leapt and skipped a beat, and a tear flowed from her blurry eyes to her chin. She couldn't believe it. She didn't deserve it. Oh, God, how could he love her? “Oh, Henry, how did you know about my father?”

He slipped his hand over hers. “Men and boys don't sit
around and gossip all day, but we do talk about the important things, like the most beautiful widow in the Red River Valley.”

She laughed, tears streaming over her cheeks. “Oh? And what do they say?”

He took her face in both hands and gently wiped her tears back with his thumbs. “Consensus is she'll be a good-looking widow the rest of her life.”

“Well, why do they say that?”

“Seems most of them figured going all the way to Tennessee on a maybe wasn't ever going to happen.”

“And you? What about you?”

He squeezed her hand. “First time I saw you, standing in front of the Sulphur Fork Trading Post with your hair blowing in the breeze staring down that storm; so beautiful and strong. I should have paid a visit back then, told you. I have no excuse. I'd never seen a more desirable woman before and still haven't to this day.”

Her cheeks warmed. She sat back, hoping the darkness concealed her blush, and smiled. “What a kind thing to say. I'm glad you liked the wind was blowing my hair.”

He chuckled. “Yes, ma'am. You looked that day exactly like I've come to find you are. Beautiful but resolved, passionate but with a kind streak I could drive both wagons through. You're so much like my mother, but even more. You've succeeded where she failed.” He smiled. “Susannah Baylor, I love you more than life, and if your father is half as smart as you are, he'll see it.”

She searched his eyes and adored what she saw. He loved her! He wanted to marry her! And was willing to get her father's blessing! She was getting married! She threw her arms around his neck. “Yes, yes! I will marry you. I'll be the happiest woman on the face of the earth.”

He stood, pulling her to her feet and hugging her so tight, she became a part of him. She floated back into camp, his arm around her. When he said good night, she thought he might kiss her, but was glad—well, sort of glad—when he didn't for the sake of being right before God.

Sue lay on her pallet of his furs. She could hardly believe everything that had happened. The difference one day made simply astounded her. She never wanted this day to end, and yet, the stars twinkled in the night sky, marking its demise. The last day that so changed her life had been for the worse.

Back then, she'd never dreamed living would be sweet again, but along came Patrick Henry Buckmeyer. Oh, how awful she had been to him in the beginning. She couldn't imagine why he would still want to love her, but, oh, how she loved him now. This day, the change had been a joyful one. She couldn't wait to tell Elaine and all her friends back home.

Then a question sauntered through her mind. It wasn't one she asked herself but came from outside her own thinking.

What have you done? You cannot marry an unbeliever.

Indeed.

What had she done?

S
LEEP ELUDED HER.
Sue's mind kept spinning, thinking on every detail. She should be overjoyed; they'd be in Jefferson tomorrow. She'd sell her cotton, probably for six cents a pound. More money than she'd ever dreamed. Then Henry would take her and the children to Tennessee. She'd see her father again, and he'd meet his granddaughter that he never even knew he had.

But would Daddy give his blessing? He might not even speak to her. Maybe he had received her letters but written her off as dead to him. Surely he'd want to get to know Becky, though, even if he couldn't forgive Sue. And now, she'd gone and fallen in love with another poor man with no trade. Would it be the situation with Andy all over again? And even worse; Henry wasn't a Christian.

What would she do if it turned out that way? Could she live her life without Henry now?

She rolled over, wide awake, and stared at Becky.

It all swirled across her mind's eye. There should have been a background of white, puffy clouds floating in sunny, blue skies with birds singing. But instead, a dark storm loomed and overshadowed all her happy thoughts.

What had she done?

Did she just forget what God's Word said? What was she thinking? Wait a minute. That was the problem, she hadn't been thinking at all.

She must talk with him first thing in the morning. It wouldn't be fair to let him keep assuming the only hurdle was her father's blessing. More than anything she ever wanted, she wished it would be as simple as leading him to salvation, but no doubt his mother had tried a hundred times.

Sue had to dig deeper, not let him off the hook so easy with his “I have no trouble with God or His Word.” She could not let him get away with that; she must find out exactly why he rejected God's sacrifice of love. She had to overcome whatever his objections were. He couldn't have any decent reasons.

It shouldn't be hard. If he loved her, he'd share his heart.

She turned toward his wagon and wondered if he was asleep. Tomorrow, Jefferson. Surely, she'd be in time. Henry had seen to it. The buyers just had to still be there so that they could purchase her cotton.

It would be a long trip to Tennessee, probably as far as from home to Jefferson, or even farther. Then certainly farther from there back home again. Such a long journey. Should she even drag the children all that way if he refused straight up to be saved?

What if her father had passed or moved back east? What if he hated her and slammed his door in her face? He'd never answered any of her letters. But then, had he actually received them? Ten years was a long time. If he wasn't there, the journey would be for nothing. She'd wanted to go visit, but the years had slipped by.

Maybe she should talk to Henry about all that. Would he
still be willing to risk going? There'd be no need if he wouldn't repent and accept Christ. Oh, she wished she could just go to sleep. She closed her eyes and tried not to think anymore.

She could send a letter now. From Jefferson! It'd be more likely to get there, but how long might that take? If she wrote and told her daddy about her life in Texas and how much she loved Henry, she could ask him to forgive her and please bless this marriage.

But what if she never got an answer back? She didn't want to wait forever to marry Henry. But the vow could not be broken as long as her father lived to give his blessing. But also, it didn't hinge only on the blessing. She'd made the vow, and she'd keep it, but blessing or not, she couldn't marry an unbeliever. She would never take such a chance with Henry's life.

She rolled onto her back and stared at the bottom of the wagon.

Why borrow trouble? She would speak with Henry and see what he said. She didn't want to mull all the negative what-ifs. She only wanted to think of the man she loved and how wonderful he was and how he loved her, too—enough to ask her to be his wife. He chose to forgive her ill behavior and stubborn streak and see through all that ugliness to her heart.

Isn't that what the Lord did?

He always knew her heart—the only salve to her wounded spirit when she failed to hold her temper. Only God could manage Henry seeing through all her faults, and she thanked Him profusely as she finally drifted off.

The next morning, she woke with a smile and the aroma of brewing coffee. Today was the day! As had become her custom, she rolled from under the wagon and pulled herself up using the wheel. Henry's team stood waiting, already harnessed, and
it looked like he was helping Levi get her mules ready. The gunsmith's wife had her own Dutch oven already sitting out of the coals and ham in her frying pan.

“Good morning.” Sue pushed a stray curl back into her braid, retrieved her cup, and then made her way to the fire. “The coffee smells wonderful.”

“Rough night?” The woman she'd thought a gypsy looked up from the cook fire.

“Yes, ma'am. Had trouble getting to sleep. Too much on my mind.”

Henry walked up finishing a biscuit, then nodded toward her wagon. “Best we take your team up the hill first.”

“Good morning.” She placed her hand on his face and smiled, looking into those deep eyes she loved so much. “You in a big hurry today?”

He laughed. “Sue Baylor, you've been in a hurry ever since we left the Red River Valley. I mean to get you to Jefferson today.” He faced Levi. “You keep the other one down here, get 'em all set to go. Once we get your aunt Sue to the top, ease them on out.”

That suited her fine. She liked being in the lead anyway.

Levi grabbed another biscuit with ham. “Yes, sir.” He turned to the cook. “Thank you, ma'am. That porker's delicious.”

She smiled and nodded. “My pleasure.”

Becky crawled out from under the wagon, came straight over to Henry, and tugged on his shirt. “Don't forget it's my turn to ride with you.” She rubbed her eyes, then grinned. “I want to hear all about it.”

“How could I forget my best little miss?” He tousled her hair. “You should get something to eat. We're leaving pretty
quick. I'm going with your mama right now, but I'll be back. You stay with Levi.”

“Yes, sir.”

The visiting lady grinned. “Your children certainly are polite. Here, darlin'.” The woman handed Becky a biscuit with a slice of ham in it.

“Thank you very much, ma'am.”

Sue accepted a biscuit with ham, too, smiling at the gunsmith's wife. “You are such a blessing. I pray our paths will cross again one day, and I can repay your kindness.” In love with life, she hugged the woman, then climbed aboard. “Ready when you are.”

Henry jumped up beside her. “Then let's see if we can pull this grade.”

“Hey, now!” She waved the reins against the animals' backs and clucked. They pawed the ground and threw themselves into moving the load. Wood creaked; leather stretched; and metal rings and chains clanged. Sue waved good-bye to the family staying behind and left the last camp before Jefferson.

She prayed for God's favor and blessings, with Henry's salvation heavy on her heart.

As they neared the base of the hill, he jumped off. “Don't stop; let them take it at their own pace.” The wagon passed him.

As soon as the team hit the incline, the mules slowed, but they never quit moving along, higher and higher. The closer to the top, the more all four strained, but they kept pulling. “Come on, Dex; come on, Mil. Y'all can do it. Get up, Daisy! Good mules, almost there.” The wagon slowed to a crawl nearing the top. It barely moved at all, but the wheels kept turning.

She couldn't believe how easy it was going, with four mules to the wagon, thanks to Henry. She was so, so blessed!

Then they were there. At the top. With a long, easy descent in front of her, she reined the mules in, set the brake, and jumped down. “We did it!”

Henry joined her, breathing hard. “Yes, we did.”

“Henry!” She put her hand on his chest. “Were you pushing the whole way?”

“No, just the last bit, when it looked like they might stop.” He turned and took a step down the hill back toward camp.

She grabbed his hand. They were alone. She should say something, tell him she couldn't marry an unbeliever. “Wait, catch your breath.”

“I'm fine.” He looked north. Levi waved. The other wagon pulled out of camp. “Best beat him to the bottom.”

She watched from the hill's crest, hoping the second wagon would make it as easily as hers. And just the same, the team pulled it straight to the top without any problems. “Yay! We made it! God is good!”

The second hill before reaching Jefferson wasn't as bad as the first and didn't pose one bit of trouble. Before noon, she drove the team up under a shade tree and set the brake. She kept wanting to tell someone Henry had proposed; she'd been tempted to say something to Levi all day, but decided that she should tell Henry about her reservations first, get him saved, and then break the good news to the children together.

She couldn't stop smiling though.

While the men grained and watered the animals, she and Becky prepared dinner, bringing out Henry's honey for the biscuits. After all, a celebration was in order, even though a small stretch of trace remained to navigate. It was the last stretch and all downhill now.