Waiting for Godot (2 page)

ESTRAGON:

People are bloody ignorant apes.

He rises painfully, goes limping to extreme left, halts, gazes into distance off with his hand screening his eyes, turns, goes to extreme right, gazes into distance. Vladimir watches him, then goes and picks up the boot, peers into it, drops it hastily.

VLADIMIR:

Pah!

He spits. Estragon moves to center, halts with his back to auditorium.

ESTRAGON:

Charming spot. (
He turns, advances to front, halts facing auditorium.
) Inspiring prospects. (
He turns to Vladimir.
) Let's go.

VLADIMIR:

We can't.

ESTRAGON:

Why not?

VLADIMIR:

We're waiting for Godot.

ESTRAGON:

(
despairingly
)
.
Ah! (
Pause.
) You're sure it was here?

VLADIMIR:

What?

ESTRAGON:

That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR:

He said by the tree. (
They look at the tree.
) Do you see any others?

ESTRAGON:

What is it?

VLADIMIR:

I don't know. A willow.

ESTRAGON:

Where are the leaves?

VLADIMIR:

It must be dead.

•

ESTRAGON:

No more weeping.

VLADIMIR:

Or perhaps it's not the season.

ESTRAGON:

Looks to me more like a bush.

VLADIMIR:

A shrub.

ESTRAGON:

A bush.

VLADIMIR:

A—. What are you insinuating? That we've come to the wrong place?

ESTRAGON:

He should be here.

VLADIMIR:

He didn't say for sure he'd come.

ESTRAGON:

And if he doesn't come?

VLADIMIR:

We'll come back tomorrow.

ESTRAGON:

And then the day after tomorrow.

VLADIMIR:

Possibly.

ESTRAGON:

And so on.

VLADIMIR:

The point is—

ESTRAGON:

Until he comes.

VLADIMIR:

You're merciless.

ESTRAGON:

We came here yesterday.

VLADIMIR:

Ah no, there you're mistaken.

ESTRAGON:

What did we do yesterday?

VLADIMIR:

What did we do yesterday?

ESTRAGON:

Yes.

VLADIMIR:

Why . . . (
Angrily.
) Nothing is certain when you're about.

ESTRAGON:

In my opinion we were here.

VLADIMIR:

(
looking round
)
.
You recognize the place?

ESTRAGON:

I didn't say that.

VLADIMIR:

Well?

ESTRAGON:

That makes no difference.

VLADIMIR:

All the same . . . that tree . . . (
turning towards auditorium
) that bog . . .

ESTRAGON:

You're sure it was this evening?

VLADIMIR:

What?

ESTRAGON:

That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR:

He said Saturday. (
Pause.
) I think.

ESTRAGON:

You think.

VLADIMIR:

I must have made a note of it. (
He fumbles in his pockets, bursting with miscellaneous rubbish.
)
ESTRAGON:

(
very insidious
)
.
But what Saturday? And is it Saturday? Is it not rather Sunday? (
Pause.
) Or Monday? (
Pause.
) Or Friday?

VLADIMIR:

(
looking wildly about him, as though the date was inscribed in the landscape
)
.
It's not possible!

ESTRAGON:

Or Thursday?

VLADIMIR:

What'll we do?

ESTRAGON:

If he came yesterday and we weren't here you may be sure he won't come again today.

VLADIMIR:

But you say we were here yesterday.

ESTRAGON:

I may be mistaken. (
Pause.
) Let's stop talking for a minute, do you mind?

VLADIMIR:

(
feebly
)
.
All right. (
Estragon sits down on the mound. Vladimir paces agitatedly to and fro, halting from time to time to gaze into distance off. Estragon falls asleep. Vladimir halts finally before Estragon.
) Gogo! . . . Gogo! . . . GOGO!

Estragon wakes with a start.

ESTRAGON:

(
restored to the horror of his situation
)
.
I was asleep! (
Despairingly.
) Why will you never let me sleep?

VLADIMIR:

I felt lonely.

ESTRAGON:

I had a dream.

VLADIMIR:

Don't tell me!

ESTRAGON:

I dreamt that—

VLADIMIR:

DON'T TELL ME!

ESTRAGON:

(
gesture toward the universe
)
.
This one is enough for you? (
Silence.
) It's not nice of you, Didi. Who am I to tell my private nightmares to if I can't tell them to you?

VLADIMIR:

Let them remain private. You know I can't bear that.

ESTRAGON:

(
coldly.
) There are times when I wonder if it wouldn't be better for us to part.

VLADIMIR:

You wouldn't go far.

ESTRAGON:

That would be too bad, really too bad. (
Pause.
) Wouldn't it, Didi, be really too bad? (
Pause.
) When you think of the beauty of the way. (
Pause.
) And the goodness of the wayfarers. (
Pause. Wheedling.
) Wouldn't it, Didi?

VLADIMIR:

Calm yourself.

ESTRAGON:

(
voluptuously.
) Calm . . . calm . . . The English say cawm. (
Pause.
) You know the story of the Englishman in the brothel?

VLADIMIR:

Yes.

ESTRAGON:

Tell it to me.

VLADIMIR:

Ah stop it!

ESTRAGON:

An Englishman having drunk a little more than usual proceeds to a brothel. The bawd asks him if he wants a fair one, a dark one or a red-haired one. Go on.

VLADIMIR:

STOP IT!

Exit Vladimir hurriedly. Estragon gets up and follows him as far as the limit of the stage. Gestures of Estragon like those of a spectator encouraging a pugilist. Enter Vladimir. He brushes past Estragon, crosses the stage with bowed head. Estragon takes a
step towards him, halts.

ESTRAGON:

(
gently.
) You wanted to speak to me? (
Silence. Estragon takes a step forward.
) You had something to say to me? (
Silence. Another step forward.
) Didi . . .

VLADIMIR:

(
without turning
)
.
I've nothing to say to you.

ESTRAGON:

(
step forward
)
.
You're angry? (
Silence. Step forward
)
.
Forgive me. (
Silence. Step forward. Estragon lays his hand on Vladimir's shoulder.
) Come, Didi. (
Silence.
) Give me your hand. (
Vladimir half turns.
) Embrace me! (
Vladimir stiffens.
) Don't be stubborn! (
Vladimir softens. They embrace. #

Estragon recoils.
) You stink of garlic!

VLADIMIR:

It's for the kidneys. (
Silence. Estragon looks attentively at the tree.
) What do we do now?

ESTRAGON:

Wait.

VLADIMIR:

Yes, but while waiting.

ESTRAGON:

What about hanging ourselves?

VLADIMIR:

Hmm. It'd give us an erection.

ESTRAGON:

(
highly excited
)
.
An erection!

VLADIMIR:

With all that follows. Where it falls mandrakes grow. That's why they shriek when you pull them up. Did you not know that?

ESTRAGON:

Let's hang ourselves immediately!

VLADIMIR:

From a bough? (
They go towards the tree.
) I wouldn't trust it.

ESTRAGON:

We can always try.

VLADIMIR:

Go ahead.

ESTRAGON:

After you.

VLADIMIR:

No no, you first.

ESTRAGON:

Why me?

VLADIMIR:

You're lighter than I am.

ESTRAGON:

Just so!

VLADIMIR:

I don't understand.

ESTRAGON:

Use your intelligence, can't you?

Vladimir uses his intelligence.

VLADIMIR:

(
finally
)
.
I remain in the dark.

ESTRAGON:

This is how it is. (
He reflects.
) The bough . . . the bough . . . (
Angrily.
) Use your head, can't you?

VLADIMIR:

You're my only hope.

ESTRAGON:

(
with effort
)
.
Gogo light—bough not break—Gogo dead. Didi heavy—bough break—Didi alone. Whereas—

VLADIMIR:

I hadn't thought of that.

ESTRAGON:

If it hangs you it'll hang anything.

VLADIMIR:

But am I heavier than you?

ESTRAGON:

So you tell me. I don't know. There's an even chance. Or nearly.

VLADIMIR:

Well? What do we do?

ESTRAGON:

Don't let's do anything. It's safer.

VLADIMIR:

Let's wait and see what he says.

ESTRAGON:

Who?

VLADIMIR:

Godot.

ESTRAGON:

Good idea.

VLADIMIR:

Let's wait till we know exactly how we stand.

ESTRAGON:

On the other hand it might be better to strike the iron before it freezes.

VLADIMIR:

I'm curious to hear what he has to offer. Then we'll take it or leave it.

ESTRAGON:

What exactly did we ask him for?

VLADIMIR:

Were you not there?

ESTRAGON:

I can't have been listening.

VLADIMIR:

Oh . . . Nothing very definite.

ESTRAGON:

A kind of prayer.

VLADIMIR:

Precisely.

ESTRAGON:

A vague supplication.

VLADIMIR:

Exactly.

ESTRAGON:

And what did he reply?

VLADIMIR:

That he'd see.

ESTRAGON:

That he couldn't promise anything.

VLADIMIR:

That he'd have to think it over.

ESTRAGON:

In the quiet of his home.

VLADIMIR:

Consult his family.

ESTRAGON:

His friends.

VLADIMIR:

His agents.

ESTRAGON:

His correspondents.

VLADIMIR:

His books.

ESTRAGON:

His bank account.

VLADIMIR:

Before taking a decision.

ESTRAGON:

It's the normal thing.

VLADIMIR:

Is it not?

ESTRAGON:

I think it is.

VLADIMIR:

I think so too.

Silence.

ESTRAGON:

(
anxious
)
.
And we?

VLADIMIR:

I beg your pardon?

ESTRAGON:

I said, And we?

VLADIMIR:

I don't understand.

ESTRAGON:

Where do we come in?

VLADIMIR: