Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down (13 page)

Since then I’d mostly avoided him, except when we had those joint rehearsals. 
Trent
played the double bass, and I knew he also played an electric bass in a local band, which was how Bridget met him.  I always thought that if I played by the rules and was as nice as I could be, I would meet a nice guy in return who would love me for who I was.  At least
,
that’s the stuff they preach at you
in
Hallmark movies.  I wasn’t feeling nearly so nice when he came into view that night.

As if I’d had a jolt of espresso, my energy level shot up as the sun slipped from the sky.  The sluggish
boredom was replaced by an eager anticipation of being immersed in music
,
my true passion.  I was glad to see the clumsiness disappeared as well, as I stopped crashing into things the darker it got outside.  Finding my way to my spot on the risers, I loosened my scarf, suddenly feeling
too
warm.  Discounting it as the lights, I smiled to Leona and Ivy, who I stood between on the stage.  There was little time to chat before Professor
Matt
hews arrived and called us all to order. 

“Thank you all for being here promptly,” he greeted us with a benign smile.  “Before we get started on the new cantata, I would like to open up with auditions for the quartet piece
O Occhi Manza Mia
.  Let’s start with the sopranos if you please.  Come down, my little butterflies, right here down front.”

I knew that part backwards and forwards, I’d been practicing it for the better part of two weeks at home.  If I was picked for the piece I knew I’d be fine
.  I
t was a four part harmony with no solos, but in order to get there, I’d have to audition by myself.  It was almost enough to keep me rooted to my spot, but Ivy gave me a little nudge. 

“Go on, Anja, you know you want to,” she whispered as the other three sopranos descended t
he
risers.  

Teeth worrying at my bottom lip, I took a step forward, and then another, hurrying to be counted among the auditioners before it was too late.  It was starting already
-
my hands were warm and sweaty,
and
I
felt like I had hedgehogs playing leap fro
g
in my belly. 

One by one
,
they sang
a capella
after being given a single note from the piano.  There was a polite s
m
att
ering of applause, and the next person stood forward to give their rendition of the classical piece.  All too soon it was my turn, and I gave the Professor a fleeting smile as I heard my note being given. 

I couldn’t look at them. 

Focusing on the lights in the back of the auditorium, I began to sing.  As long as I focused on that spot, I could do it.  The music took hold of me then
.
I swayed lightly as I sang of my beloved, my voice swelling and falling with emotion, hearing the other harmonies blending in my mind.  The last note hung in the air, seeming to fill the auditorium, though I knew it likely didn’t reach past the first section on my own. 

I drew in a shaky breath as I finished, eyes rapidly blinking as I focused on those around me again.  I was mortified to find all eyes on me, the theater quiet enough to hear a pin drop.  Was I so terrible not a single person thought to give me even a golf clap of acknowledgement?  Swallowing in discomfort, I jumped when as a whole, they all burst into enthusiastic applause.  Even the girls I’d been competing against clapped for all they were worth
.  O
ne of them had tears in her eyes.

  Professor
Matt
hews looked like he wanted to hug me, but settled for patting me on the shoulder awkwardly, announcing I had the part.  Overwhelmed by the response, I nodded and murmured my thanks to the congratulations that surrounded me as I retook my place on the risers. 

“Wow, Anja, that was so amazing!  Wasn’t it, Leona?” Ivy gushed.

“It was so… so beautiful.  It made me want to cry,” Leona nodded fervently.  The other girls around me echoed the sentiments with excited words of praise as the group buzzed over my performance.  Had it reall
y been that good?  It sounded fine
to me, but I’d been so nervous at the time, I could hardly be the judge.  After a few moments of chatter, the professor called the next gr
oup of a
ltos down, and the tryouts resumed.

“Looks like you have an admirer,” Ivy whispered. 

Looking up, I caught sight of a man standing in the rear of the auditorium, staring at me intently.  Despite the shadows that masked half of his body, the piercing blue eyes arrested my attention.  I knew him… I felt it in my bones, but from where? 

“Maybe he’s a scout from the S.F.
Choral Society
?”

“Wouldn’t that be something,” I whispered back, unable to take my eyes off of him.  But what were the odds a scout would happen to come on the one night I kicked booty on an audition?  I wasn’t that lucky. 

“Maybe he wants to take you away from here to tour across
Europe
?” Leona giggled, and I saw the man’s lips quirk in response.  Had he somehow heard us?  A quick check showed there were no microphones anywhere near us, and with the singing going on, it was nigh impossible.  I looked back to see if he was still following our conversation and there was no sign of him.

“I guess he wasn’t all that impressed after all,” I sighed.

“Someone else was though
.  D
on’t look now, but
Trent
’s giving you
the eye
.
”
Ivy nudged me towards the orchestra pit, where my ex was indeed hoping to catch my eye with that smile he had… the one I’m sure he knew was almost irresistible.  Almost. 

“I’d like to give him a black eye…” I muttered, feeling a little hot under the collar again.  Stripping off
my
scarf, I tossed it to the side of the stage, out of the way.  Weren’t vampires not supposed to be susceptible to hot or cold?  Why did I feel like I was burning from the inside? 

“Anja!  What’s come over you?  I’ve never heard you talk like that before,” Ivy whispered, her brows drawing together in puzzlement.

It wasn’t common knowledge that
Trent
was a lying, two-timing,
sonofabitch
.
I hadn’t gone public with many of the details of our break up.  “Let’s just say I’ve gone through some changes lately,” I murmured back, deliberately turning away from
Trent
’s gaze. 

The rest of the rehearsal went well.  I was conscious of the fact that my voice was more powerful, and I had to make an effort to tone it down to blend in with the other sopranos around me.  Also, I had a tendency to reach an almost trance-like state whenever there was an instrumental break and I wasn’t singing.  When it was all over, Professor
Matt
hews waved to me. 

“Anja, I would like to speak to you a moment, if you please.”  Here it
came
,
he’d noticed I wasn’t paying as close attention as I should have been.  Would he take away my shot at the quartet?  “I know it is short notice, but I would like you to be a featured soloist at our next performance.  I was thinking perhaps something by…”

“I’m sorry,” I interrupted him before he picked up too much steam.  “It’s not really a good time for me, Professor
Matt
hews
.
I have a lot going on.” 
Understatement of the year...
  Even though it was a chance every girl in the room would kill for, I felt uneasy making any kind of commitment when I wasn’t sure I could deliver. 

“My dear, you have been given a gift from God, it is a sin to waste it.”

What would he think if he knew the gift wasn’t from God, but from one of the damned?  Not that I was sure all vampires were damned, but wasn’t it a well debated concept, whether or not vampires had souls?  I was pretty sure if God was going to be ticked at me at the pearly
gates
,
it would have less to do with squandering my ‘gift’ and more to do with becoming one of the undead. 

“I understand,
s
ir.  Maybe next semester would be better though.” 

“Anja… I know you suffer from stage fright, but look how beautifully you managed tonight!  Here, I thought, she is finally breaking free of her cocoon and transforming into what she was meant to be!” 
He didn’t know the half of it…
  “If you keep putting off ‘til tomorrow what you should do today, someday there will be no tomorrows left, only yesterday.”

Somewhere in there was a piece of advice to live by, but it was all too new, and that kind of stress was the
last
thing I needed.   “Let me think about it,
alright
?”  I already knew the answer, but I suspected that he’d accept my decision easier if he thought I’d given it serious thought. 

“Fine, fine, we’ll talk more at the next rehearsal,” he nodded, dismissing me. 

Released from that awkward conversation, I went in search of my scarf, even though I
still felt
hot under the collar, but there was no sign of it.  “Who steals a scarf?” I muttered in irritation.  Turning around, I nearly ran into the solid wall of
Trent
’s chest.  “This night keeps getting better and better,” I frowned, not bothering to hide my displeasure. 

Chapter
Eleven

“Is there something I can help you with?” I asked when he just stood there, that stupid grin on his face.  The one I used to find adorably charming. 

“I thought maybe we could go talk somewhere.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”  That was the last thing I was interested in doing.  I had the entire night ahead of me, and even sitting alone in my apartment with a Golden Girls marathon sounded better than talking to him. 

“Don’t be like that, Anja
.
I thought you still wanted to be friends
.
”

“You want to be my friend?”  My voice rife with skepticism, I fixed him with a flat, unfriendly look.  “Friends don’t betray each other, let alone boyfriends.”

“You never let me explain about that, An.  I made a mistake, I should have told you about her, but I’d already decided to break things off.  You’re the one I asked to move in with me, remember?”  His voice dripped of sincerity, but I wasn’t interested in his excuses.

“Oh please, you were still hot and heavy with her when I showed up with the movers.”

“That was a goodbye kiss, I swear.”

Ugh, what a pig
.  “Do you honestly think you’re helping your case right now?”

“Your parents love me, doesn’t that count for something?”

“Surprisingly, no.  Then again, the
y
don’t know anything about your walk on the wild side with Bridget.”  I turned and took a step away from him and he reached out to grab hold of my arm.

“Anja, she meant nothing to me, you’re the one I want.  And when I saw you up there tonight… it was like… it was like I heard the voice of an angel telling me you’re the one.”

“Get your hand off of me,
Trent
.  I’m warning you.”  I knew I was strong enough to break free
.  H
eck, I was strong enough to tear his arm out of its socket, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. 

He ignored my
advice
though.  “Just give me one more shot.  I know we can make it work.”

“I’m not kidding.  If you don’t let me go, you’ll regret it,” I repeated the low warning, but his smile grew wider, his voice tinged with condescension. 

“You’re adorable when you’re angry, did you know that?  Now why don’t you let me make things up to you
?
”
H
e pulled me closer and my hand shot out, almost of its own volition, cracking him soundly across the cheek.  He went down like a sack of potatoes, a bruise already starting to form there.  

“I’m sorry!” Christ, had I really hit him?  I’d never hit another person before in my life.  While on the one hand, it was exhilarating to show him he couldn’t push me around, I also felt awful for having knocked him out.  What if I’d really hurt him? 
Good
…
a mean-spirited little voice inside whispered.  “
Trent
?”  I knelt down beside him, patting his cheek gently.  A crowd of onlookers started to gather around, curious to find out what was going on and my cheeks blazed with the heat of embarrassment. 

“Five more minutes, Mom,” he murmured, nuzzling against my thigh, and I pushed him away
.  H
e was too hard headed to be seriously hurt.  There was more danger of my reputation suffering serious injury
.
  Thanks to my vampire hearing, I was privy to every whispered speculation. 

“He’s fine guys, nothing to see here.”  Assured he would find plenty of assistance should he need it, I slipped out of there as fast as I could, eager to get outside into the night air.  Instead of taking the bus as I usually did at night, I decided to walk to take advantage of the cooling breeze.  After all, I wasn’t
too
afraid of getting mugged anymore after my show of strength
.
I hadn’t even been trying and I’d knocked
Trent
out cold.  Even if someone shot or stabbed me, I would heal quickly, according to Bishop.

Bishop.

Nope.  I wasn’t going to think about him, I had to start relying on myself.  Sitting around at home every night hadn’t gotten me Prince
Charming
.  A
ll I’d gotten for my efforts were a cheating boyfriend, a surly but well meaning roommate, and a mysteriously absentee Sire.  It was time to stop being a doormat and take control of my own destiny instead of waiting for someone to chart it out for me.

Somehow I had to learn how to blend my old life with my afterlife.  I had to learn how to push my boundaries and figure out what being a vampire meant to someone like me.  So far I hadn’t felt the need to feed apart from when seeing fresh blood triggered the thirst.  That was fine with
me
,
because the idea of actually stalking someone and sinking my teeth into their flesh… kind
of
made mine crawl.  I
didn’t have
the first clue how to go about hunting.  Just because I knew I was capable of compelling someone into letting me feed on them and forgetting all about me didn’t mean I had the foggiest notion of how to go about it.  I figured eventually the thirst would win, and instincts would kick in, but what if they didn’t?  I needed answers, and there was only one place I knew of to get them. 

“Anja my dear, t
his is the first night
of the rest of your life,” I murmured to myself as I turned onto my street.  “Time to make the most of it.”

*
*
*

What did one wear to a vampire bar?

That was the question I faced while standing in front of my closet.  An interview with the Dean of Students?  I had an outfit for that
-
a navy pencil skirt, pinstriped blouse and a pair of low heeled slingbacks
.
  A performance
-
a black chiffon dress with a wide red sash around the waist and kitten heels
.
Hanging out at the local Java Hut
-
comfortable stretchy jeans with an off the shoulder pink sweater with a matching knit hat
.
  But a vampire bar?  The mind boggled. 

I imagined there were all manner of vampires in the world.  One couldn’t think of vampires, especially female ones, without picturing a femme fatale, dressed in a scandalously
,
low cut dress
,
with blood red lips and waves of black hair spilling over bare shoulders, but that wasn’t me at all.  An older vampire of my supposed age would probably wear something refined, more like the chiffon dress, but would a bar be the right venue for that? 

Bridget wasn’t home, and I had no idea if she was out for the night or due home at any second.  Feeli
ng brave, I snuck into her room
to steal
a peek at her disorganized closet.  Now
there
were clothes any vampire could sink their teeth into, if you’ll pardon the phrase.  More of a club goer, Bridget’s clothes tended to be sexier, tighter and more adventurous than mine.  Of course that was also true of a librarian, so almost anything was a step in the right direction.

I pulled out a black and purple corset top and held it up skeptically.  It showed off so much skin… But it was time to try new things, right?  I struggled to get into the thing, wondering how she managed to get dressed without help if her clothes were always
so
tight.  A
black
leather mini-skirt was next
, and four inch heels
I was sure I’d kill myself in, but thanks to my added dexterity after dark, I didn’t have much of a problem managing.  As an afterthought, I picked up a stiff leather riding crop, wondering what she used that for. 

A stranger looked back at me in the mirror, and I wasn’t so sure I liked the effect.  I definitely didn’t look like the type of girl to be messed with, that was for da
rn
sure.  I almost wished Bishop could see me dressed up like that
.  W
ould he be able to dismiss me so easily? 

“Is this what you do every night while I’m at work?  Steal my shit and play mistress of pain?”

Bridget’s voice caught me by surprise and I whirled, dropping the riding crop with a
thud
.  Geez, where was my vampire spidey sense?  “I’m sorry.  I just… I felt like going out tonight and my stuff is so…”

“Antique?” she smirked.

“Exactly.”

“And you thought you could help yourself to mine?”  She retrieved the crop from the floor and stuck it between her dresser and the wall.  It occurred to me that she was actually embarrassed I’d found it.  I didn’t think she even knew how to be embarrassed, but then again I hadn’t given her cause to be before. 

“I didn’t think you’d mind.  Friends share stuff, right?  Like the milk.”  She never bought milk, she drank mine.  It bothered me for about a month, and then I started buying a bigger container.

“Yeah okay, whatever
.
”
Bridget gave a careless shrug, already over her short display of vulnerability.  “Where are you going?  A strip club?” she snorted.

“What?
No… is that what I look like?”  My eyes returned to the mirror, I didn’t think I looked that slutty. 

“Relax, you don’t look that bad, it’s just…”
S
he examined me with a critical eye.  “This isn’t the right look for you.”

“I know, that’s why I’m trying something new
.
I don’t want to look like me anymore,” I insisted.  “Couldn’t you help me with this, Bridge?  I don’t want to go out looking like a stripper, but something a little more…”

Bridget studied me a moment longer, before an eager gleam came into her eye.  “Yeah, I think I can work with this,” she grinned. 

For the next half hour I let her play
Rocker-
Barbie dress up with me, as she tried and discarded clothing combinations I never in a zillion years would have come up with.  I had to keep reminding her that
my
definition of slutty was a little different than
hers. 
I
wanted
to learn to crawl before I could walk, and she seemed bent on pushing me from the crib at a dead run.

In the end I emerged in a
fire engine red top that showed more cleavage than I would have liked, but at least I could wear a bra with it.  Below I wore a short
,
black skirt with
black seamed stockings.  A pair of silver cuff styled bracelets adorned each wrist and a
black velvet choker encircled my neck, a black ceramic rose dangling over the hollow of my throat. 
The only thing that remained from my original selection was the pair of four inch heels.  After that it was another half hour in the bathroom doing hair and make up.  If I’d known it would take that long, I might not have gone to all the trouble.  Were there women out there that regularly went through such a rigmarole every day?

I had to admit, the end effect
was definitely different
.  My blue eyes sparkled beneath the sooty black lashes and silver eye shadow, and I
felt
decidedly vixen-ish
in the
dark lipstick she selected. 

“Damn, girl, I didn’t even know you had boobs
,
” Bridget grinned over her handiwork and I tried to take that as a compliment. 

“Thanks, I think.”

“So, where are we going?” she asked, transferring her phone and wallet to a spangly little purse. 

“Ah, I was going to a bar called The Bleeding Heart, ever heard of it?”

“No, but we can look it up on my phone on the way, come on
.
”
S
he linked her arm through mine, tugging me towards the door.

“You’re coming with me?” I blinked.

“You don’t think I’m gonna waste this on a night alone on the couch, do you?” sh
e gestured to her outfit.  She
ended up wearing the leather miniskirt with a Paramore t-shirt cut to reveal most of her midriff and knotted in the back to pull tight across her breasts.  Low heeled boots and plenty of sparkly bangles completed the outfit.  “Come on, let’s have a little fun,” she grinned and I found myself smiling back.

“Let’s do it.”

*
*
*

The club ended up being called the Bleeding Hart, not heart, as in a
male
deer.  Their logo was a white deer leaping past a blood red moon.  An odd choice for a vampire bar, but then again, I had no basis for comparison.  I had no idea if it was a private club or not, and was all set to try and charm my way past the doorman, when he seemed to recognize right away that I was a vampire and let us by with a nod before I could think of a convincing lie.  With a grateful smile, I strode into the lion’s den, hoping I looked more like predator than prey.