Walk a Straight Line (20 page)

“I . . . I don't know,” Francine said, caught up in the past. “I just started hitting you, and even then, you were trying to hug me. But I continued to reject you. Finally, I shrugged you off of me, but I did it too hard, and you fell . . . and you . . . hit your head.” Terence hugged his mother as she cried.

“I swear,” Francine wailed, “I didn't mean to, Terence. I didn't know that you were unconscious. I picked you up, and you wouldn't wake up. You wouldn't wake up. Oh, God, I cried and cried, and I started praying. I couldn't afford to lose the only precious thing I had in my life. You were the only thing I had done right all my life. I begged God not to let you go and to send you back to me. I swore I would be different, but I wasn't. Instead, I continued to hurt you. I—I have no excuse. But you're all I have, and I just can't seem to let you go.”

“Mom, it wasn't all bad, you know.” Terence embraced her.

“Yes,” Francine agreed. She held his face in her hands. “But, I took it too far, honey. I held on to you so hard that I couldn't let you go. I didn't give you and Colleen the chance you deserved because of my own selfishness. I transferred all of my fears and doubts right onto her and made her the bad guy. I know it's a lot to ask, son. But can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me for ruining the best thing that ever happened to you?”

“It wasn't easy, but I've forgiven you as God continues to forgive me,” Terence said. “I just wanted you to tell me the truth. That's all. If anything, I have more respect for you now than I ever did before. This explains a lot to me about why you were the way that you were all throughout my high school and college days.”

“Thank you, son,” Francine patted his arm. “But I have literally ruined your life because of my past mistakes. I was just too stubborn to see it.”

“It's never too late,” Terence said. He met her eyes. “And for the record, I ruined my marriage, not you.”

“I tried talking to Colleen. I apologized for everything that I did, and I explained how I realized that I was just afraid of losing you.”

“And?” He sounded hopeful.

“Well,” Francine replied, “she listened, but she didn't say anything to me. Not that she would anyway.”

“I called her so many times,” Terence said, dejectedly, “that if I picked up the telephone my fingers would automatically dial the numbers.”

“Well, son,” Francine admonished, getting to her feet, “you just have to give her time. She knows where you are, and she has your number. Colleen will contact you, all in good time.”

“For once, I really hope you're right,” Terence declared. Then he stood and spontaneously enfolded his mother in a generous bear hug.

Francine smiled, but her eyes held sadness.

“Thank you,” Terence said, wholeheartedly. “Thanks for everything.”

“I owed it to you to finally tell the truth. So, now you know how imperfect your mother was,” Francine mocked herself.

“You were perfect for me, Mom,” Terence stated lovingly. “Look how I turned out. I could be dead or in jail. Instead, I'm alive and I have an education and a good job.”

“Get back to work, son,” Francine advised.

“I think I will,” Terence agreed. He took his mother's hands in his and prayed. He praised God for the healing that had taken place that day. He asked God to remove all the hurt and pain of the past once and for all.

Francine listened to her son's intense prayer and said one of her own. “Lord, please soften Colleen's heart.”

Colleen pulled into the parking lot of Long Island Jewish Hospital. Gina had called her to tell her the horrible news about Michael. He'd been in the hospital since New Year's. That had managed to snap Colleen out of her stupor.

She had been like a zombie the last five days. Now she, like many others who hear about things like this, had started contemplating on how short life truly was. Colleen was grateful to be alive no matter what she was going through. She got on the elevator and headed for Michael's private room.

Gina had taken off from work, of course, but Colleen could not imagine how her friend would look. When Gina rushed toward her, Colleen noticed that Gina's face looked gaunt and her eyes had dark shadows under them. To Colleen, Gina looked like she'd lost weight.

It took some effort, but Colleen pried Gina out of Michael's room. His mother and Keith were in there with him. They promised Gina that if anything changed, she'd be the first to know. Behind her back, Keith gave Colleen a thumbs-up sign. Evidently, they must have been trying to get Gina to take a break, but she probably stubbornly refused.

“Have you been eating?”

“What?” Gina asked. “I don't know. I've been too busy crying . . . throwing up . . . and worrying to find time to eat.” Gina turned her head to look back into Michael's room.

Colleen firmly held onto her hand. “You're not going back in there. Not yet. You're coming with me to the cafeteria to eat something, even if I have to spoon-feed you myself.”

Gina must have been too tired to argue with her. She tightened her grasp and led Gina to the cafeteria and over to the table nearest to the ordering station. Once Gina was seated, Colleen ordered her friend some soup and crackers and a salad for herself. She needed sustenance, too. She had probably lost a pound or two herself.

“Well,” Colleen began, setting the tray down in front of Gina, “it's been awhile since you and I have seen each other. Pity it had to be under these circumstances.”

“Yeah,” Gina responded distractedly.

Colleen watched her pick up the spoon and swirl it around in her soup, too agitated to eat. She had to do something. “Luckily,” Colleen said, “I can always provide a source of diversion.”

“What do you mean? What's wrong?” Gina straightened and asked with concern.

Gina was definitely focused on her now. “Terence and I are through. I packed his bags myself a few days ago,” Colleen confided, feeling her lips quiver. Her heart still ached over Terence's betrayal.

Gina touched her on the cheek. That small human contact reached her, deep down inside. Tears pricked at her eyes. She blinked. But the tears wouldn't be contained. She dabbed her eyes with a napkin. “I thought I had cried enough about this already.”

Gina picked up her spoon and took a gulp of the soup. “Tell me, friend. What happened?”

Colleen was surprised that Gina had not said anything nasty at that news. But she was glad about it; Colleen didn't think she could've tolerated any
I told you so,
right now. “It happened on New Year's. We went over to his mother's house, as you know. And Francine was so nice to me that I was suspicious about it, you know?” Colleen informed her friend.

Gina nodded her on.

“Well, when the doorbell rang, I knew the real deal. This . . . This tart came waltzing in there . . . Her name's Dana.” Colleen slurred Dana's name like it was the bubonic plague.

“No,” Gina said with disbelief. “I hope you are not about to say what I think you're going to say.”

“Yes!” Colleen confirmed, taking in Gina's head swirl. “Dana headed straight to Terence and started talking about what a fine time they'd had back in Jamaica.”

“Wait a minute,” Gina interrupted. “When did Terence go to Jamaica?”

“On our honeymoon,” Colleen supplied. She waited for Gina to react as the atrocious implications sank in.

Stumped, Gina shook her head. “He didn't. Tell me Terence didn't do this while you were on your honeymoon.” Her eyes were huge and wide. “That's low—even for him.”

“He did,” Colleen confirmed.

Gina jumped to her feet and hugged her friend in commiseration. “I can't think of anything more reprehensible than that.”

“Aren't you going to say anything else?” Colleen prodded. She tilted her head at her friend. Gina wasn't spewing nasty insults and snide remarks, and for once, Colleen would've let her. Welcomed it even.

“What did he say?” Gina asked.

Colleen slid out of her grasp, and they both sat and returned to their food. “He said that he wanted to have a chance to explain. But I wasn't trying to hear anything coming out of his lying lips. I had enough of him. So . . . I packed his clothes and sent him on his way.”

“Are you sure you did the right thing?” Gina slurped her soup.

Colleen looked at Gina as if she had antennas sticking out of her head when she asked that question. “What do you mean am I sure? Didn't you hear a word I just said?”

“Yes, I heard,” Gina replied. “But you guys are married. That's a whole different ball game. You should've at least heard the man out before coming to a decision.”

“Excuse me?”
Colleen was dumbfounded. “Eat your food because hunger must've impaired your judgment. This can't be my friend of over fifteen years talking like this. I'm confused, Gina. I thought you, more than anybody else, would be jumping up and down at this news.”

“Yeah . . . well,” Gina hedged, “that was before I saw you two together. The man is so in love, he can't even think straight. You both looked smitten to me. Seeing you guys made me start thinking, who am I to judge or say anything about true love?”

Colleen didn't utter a single word. She wondered if Gina needed to see a psychiatrist or had been invaded by aliens. “Who is this person I'm talking to?” Maybe her friend had a split personality.

“Trust me,” Gina chuckled, “it's me, and I'm in my right mind. I just started seeing things a little differently, that's all.”

“Since when? Okay, Gina, fess up. What's going on with you?” Colleen turned the tables “You've done a complete one-eighty.”

“I guess I've learned that everything is not cast in stone,” Gina surmised, touching her chin in thought. “Sometimes you just have to carve your own way.”

Colleen didn't have a clue what Gina was talking about. “Are you saying that I should forgive Terence and just pretend that nothing happened?”

“I'm not saying or telling you anything like that. All I'm saying is that you two have to take control of your own destiny, no matter what anyone might think.”Colleen thought about what Gina was saying. She supposed that there was some truth in it. However, Colleen wouldn't have minded talking with her old cynical friend, the one who'd be trashing Terence for his dastardly deeds. But it seemed as if a new Gina had taken her place.

“Listen,” Gina reiterated, “I just want you to know that whatever you decide to do, I'm going to support you. That's all. If you find that you can't live without Terence, then talk about it with him. Go to counseling or something. Just be happy, girl.”

“Thanks . . . I guess,” Colleen said, “but my mind is already made up. Terence is history.”

The two women parted ways after that. Colleen walked away feeling even more confused than ever. She had expected Gina to be her staunch ally; instead, it seemed as if Gina was telling her to forgive. Colleen contemplated the irony of Gina ministering to her, though she was the one who was in church. Her friend had actually given her some food for thought. Colleen just wasn't sure if she had it in her to forgive Terence or even hear him out.

Colleen's heart felt like a block of ice. Francine's apology hadn't even chipped the surface. She was at a different place. She was tired of being trusting and letting men have their way with her. It was her own insecurity that had caused her to marry Terence within four months of meeting him. The aggravation that she was going through was no picnic. Colleen realized too late that it was not enough to get married. It took much more to
stay
married. It took more than she had. She dragged her feet, not anxious to return to an empty home.

Gina hurried back to Michael's bedside, who, thankfully, had been transferred from ICU to a private room. He'd had some spleen damage and major internal injuries but had come through the surgery with flying colors. He'd need a couple months of therapy, but Michael was expected to be back to his old self in no time. All he had to do now was wake up.

She thought about how she'd called Terence low and felt like a hypocrite. There was something even lower than what he had done, and that was what she had done. She had
slept
with her boyfriend's brother. How could she be hard on Terence when she herself was grimy?

She was relieved that Colleen hadn't pressed her about her own relationship. She had no idea how she would have begun to tell Colleen the whole sordid tale. She still needed some time to sort things out in her own mind and come to grips with what she'd done.