Walking in the Shadows (16 page)

“I guess
so and
when pretty women come around
,
too
.”

“Women?” I repeated staring at the last piece of my pastry
.
I wasn’t hungry anymore, yet I felt utter emptiness.

“Let me re-phrase that
—
when
a
pretty woman comes around,
”
h
e replied
,
leaning forward an
d taking my hands into his.

“Thanks.”

He leaned back in his chair
.
“So
,
did you come here for anything particular?”

“I wanted another copy of Northanger Abbey. I must have lost it in the move
,
and I wanted to read it again,
”
I answered.

“Tell me one thing, how many times have you read Miss Austen’s books?”

“Kind Sir, I have indeed read them many times over, but they are an indulgence that I cannot and shall
not give up for all of England,
”
I purred
,
watching his eyes lighten.

“And
who
is your dearest character?”
h
e inquired
,
leaning forward again. It felt as though we were moths dancing in the light of a fire.

“Mr. Knightley,
”
I responded
breathless.

“I kno
w I am quite charming,
”
h
e teased
,
tension building in his voice.

“I adore Miss Aus
ten’s Knightley, but adore
my
Knightley
even
more.”

“I hear PBS even has a quiz online to see who your Austen man
is,” Tad commented
,
and when I blushed,
added,
“You took it
! A
nd who is your man?”

I stood and put my cup in the trash before leaning and whispering in his ea
r
.
“Why
,
Mr. Knightley, of course.”

“Am I now?” h
e asked, and before I could react he pulled me into his lap
.

My heart was hammering against my rib cage, but I was still afraid of the fire
.
“Here maybe, but in the real world
,
no.”

His race reddened as I stood and he ran his hand through his hair in
agitation
.

“I guess we should get going?”
h
e suggested through gritted teeth.

“Tad, please don’t be mad.”

“You don’t forget for a second do you?”
h
e pushed.

“How can I? I know if I do
I could ruin your life forever,
”
I replied
,
shaking my head.

“You could never do that,
”
h
e responded
,
his hand reaching for mine and pulling me back.

“I never want
to,
”
I whispered
as I looked down at him.

“I’ll follow you home and then go on to my house. I want to make sure you g
et there safe, it’s a long ride,
”
h
e said
,
shaking his head and releasing my hand.

“Yeah, thanks,”
I replied
,
and
a
s I drove home with Tad just behind me my brain refused to work. I knew I should let it go
,
but I couldn’t. I love
d
him, and the world made it an insufferable pain. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from my rear view mirror, where I knew I would see his face. As I looked up I saw
his car spi
n out behind m
e
. I found myself slamming on my breaks and skittering sideways before coming to a stop. I rushed out my door and ran to his car
,
just inches away from the guard rail facing oncoming traffic—that is if there had been any one as dumb as us to be on the road in the middle of a Massachusetts snow storm.

“Tad! Are you okay?”
I shouted as my breath came out in agonizing puffs.

“Let’s do it again!”
h
e laughed as he rolled down his window.

“You’
re an ass
,
you know that?” I gasped
,
crossing my arms against the cold snow.

“
I thought I saw a bunny.”

“Yeah, more like you want
ed
to see how well your ABS works,
”
I muttered.

“Maybe…”

“Can
we just get home
,
please
?
You scared the living day lights out of me.
”

“Fine, fine. No
more
screwing
around,
”
h
e replied
with his eyes wide
and
his
lower lip in a pout.

“You didn’t do it on purpose did you?”

“Not really. I
do
like my car in one piece,
”
Tad responded
,
his shoulders tight.

“Good, because I like you in on
e piece,
”
I commented
before turning back to my car.

“Be careful,
Vera
, I have all wheel and still spun out.”

“Lo-pros aren’t snow tires
,
eh?”
I teased
,
unable to deny the playful tone in his voice.

“Smart girl
!
Y
ours are?”
Tad asked
,
leaning out the window as he looked at my car.

“We live in
Mass;
of course I have snow
tires,
”
I replied as I rolled
my eyes.

“Schooled again.”

“Cars and guys don’t mix with brains.”

“That’s wh
y I have you to look out for me,
”
h
e retorted
,
leaning back into his car and winking.

“Let’s get going,
”
I said as I
swallowed against the sickening feeling rising in my stomach; it was happiness and sadness all at the same time.
It felt so normal to be with him like this,
but
I had to remind myself
that
it wasn’t.
This moment wouldn’t last forever.
It hit me just as the icy air had and chilled me to my core.

By the time we arrived at my apartment there was at least
five
inches of snow
on the ground
and visibility was near
zero. Tad parked his car in Toby
’s extra space and
even
within that distance I couldn’
t see him
. When he came into view he was already shivering.

“I don’t think you should drive home,
it’s still twenty minutes away,
”
I commented.

“What am I goi
ng to do? I can’t stay with Toby
without getting a mustache sharpie on my face whi
le I sleep amongst other things,
”
h
e laughed
,
and the face he made showed he wasn’t willing to deal with the ‘other things’ that might happen there.

“Well, no o
ne can see you or your car in this snow,
and you have pajamas
and extra
clothes waiting for you with me,
”
I replied
,
taking a deep breath of the sharp air.
I didn’t want to act anymore.

“Are you sure?”

“I can’t let you leave in a storm like this. If something happened…I mean if you think it’s a bad idea…”
I trailed off
,
looking up the stairs to my apartment.

“No, I’
m fine with it, but you seemed so agains
t everything
in the bookstore…”
Tad replied with a sigh.

“Someone could have seen us there.”

“No one in their right mind would go to Cam
bridge to buy a book besides us
.”

“Fine, I’
m sorry I overreacted…get your papers to
grade and
come
on
up.”

“What
no Christmas tree?”
Tad asked
as he came in the door and slipp
ed his snow covered shoes off.

“I didn’t feel up to
it
,
”
I replied.

“Well, what
should I put this under then?” h
e
asked
,
taking a box out of his back pack
.

“Right next to this bag right here with you
r present in it,
” I replied
as I shook
the snow out of my hair.

Tad sighed
.
“Now why did you have to do that?”

“Buy you a present?”

“Well, that too,” h
e answered
,
picking up his phone as it rang
.
“He
llo…Hi Dad, what’s up? Yeah, I’
m in out of t
he storm…yeah, she’s right here
.
”
H
e handed me the phone.

“Hi George, how did you know he was over my house?”
I asked
,
smiling at Tad who was shaking the snow out of his hair.

“Well, he alwa
ys sounds overly happy when he’
s around you. How
was your Christmas?” George asked
, and his kindness reminded
me of my father’s voice.

“Truthfully? It was hard, it always is
,
but I guess Tad would say
I did that to myself this year,
”
I answered
,
shooting Tad daggers as
he sprinkled me with the snow from
his hair.

“You’re just trying to be smart about the whole thing
,
and I commend you for that, but
you still shouldn’t be alone all the time…not that it’s my place to judge
. You’re always welcome over with us—hell
,
you might be
amused with Crazy Cat Cathy,
” George said with a chuckle.

“I’m not
sure they would approve of me
—
”

“Don’t be silly, they already approve of you. They don
’t need to know the whole story,
” George said
,
cutting me off
;
“Some secrets are meant to be kept, could be an interesting story someday though!”

“I guess so, how’s the snow out your way?”

“Blinding
;
I’m glad that you and Tad are safe and sound…don’t cause too much
trouble if you know what I mean,
”
George teased.

Tad was laughing
at the color of my face.

“I’ll be nice to him,
” I replied
,
trying to gain composure
as I handed
the phone to Tad.

“Yeah, you
too
,
Dad
.
”
Tad
tossed the iPhone onto the table and
flopped on the couch
.
“You’re
going to take it easy on me? You already tos
sed your hair around like a
model.”

“I did get some really cute pajamas
at Victoria’s Secret today,”
I
suggested
as I nodded
over my shoulder at the bag on my bed.
I couldn’t help but smile as I watched his face redden at the thought.