Walking in the Shadows (11 page)

“
With my assistance
, of course,
”
h
e teased
,
leaning against the stack of produce.

I threw the handful of grapes that I had collected at h
im
.
“You know what? You’re the
ass.
”

He shrugged and began to pummel me with grap
es. I was in hysterics
now and
my embarrassment
was
forgotten.

“What
the hell is
going on here?”
a
n employee chastised as he
round
ed
the corner.

Tad and I froze
and stood
,
“I…she…grapes…
uh
…sorry man, clean up
in the produce a
isle
?”
Tad suggested
,
shrugging his shoulders
.

The employee narrowed his eyes
.
“Find another a
isle
to flirt in
,
please
!
”

“Thanks, man
,
” Tad said as he grabbed my basket and dumped its contents into his carriage
.
“Let’s go before he makes us clean it up.”

Once we were at the other side of the store
he began to chuckle to himself
.
“I haven’t had that much fun since school started.”

I sighed
.
“I wonder why?”

“So
Kirsten
gave you a Friday night off? Aren’t you guys usually slammed today?”

“She f
igured
if I ever decided to be a normal teenager it would be nice to have a Friday night off t
o go to the movies or something,
”
I replied.

“So instead, you go grocery shopping?”

I turned so I could face him and walked backwards.

“Where else would I run into m
y cute Brit Lit teacher?” I teased
,
and he was quiet so I changed the subject
.
“So
,
do you eat anything besides frozen meals?”

“Well, now
that
I have no one t
o cook for me,” h
e began
,
and then added,
“You know
you shouldn’t do that with your
—
"
I
missed my step and began to fall
backwards, but
he caught me just before I hit the floor, “tendency to break things.”

Our faces were inches from each other
,
and I knew we were both thinking the same thing—if only we were somewhere else.
When he released me I pulled down my shirt where it had risen when his soft hands had slid around my hips and back to catch me. The places his hand had glided over my bare skin were on fire, just like my heart.

“H
ave you been to
Cambridge
lately?”
I finally managed to say
.

He shook his head
.
“
It m
akes me miss you more.”

“
Mhmm
…I guess we
’
re lucky
it’s a
Friday night and all the normal teenager
s are all out par
tying,
” I replied
as we walked aimlessly through another ai
sle
without getting anything.

“Yeah, I guess so.
You need anything else?” h
e asked
,
and I shook my head in response, b
ut what I really needed was him
.
“Good
.
I want to take a closer look at your sweet ride.”

I was beginning to get used to my new life and the loneliness it held. I ate breakfast alone, ate lunch with Jaz yammering in my ear and ate dinner in front of my flat screen. I was surprised I wasn’t talking to myself and going insane yet. It wasn’t normal for a person to be so alone, and it was even less normal for a teenager. I tried to tell myself I was getting used to it, but every single time I saw Tad the longing was still there, and it was perversely stronger with each class I had with him. I could handle it because I still was able to see him every day and now Jaz was reminding me that break was coming up and I would be even more alone.

“
I’m s
o happy it
’
s Thanksgiving tomorrow! I love pie!”
Jaz
exclaimed
as we took our seats in Tad’s class.

“Are you tw
o
attached at the hip?” Tad interjected as he looked
over his coffee cup at us.

I rolled my eyes
as
Jaz
turned and answered, “We’
re besties.”

Tad held his cup over his mouth to cover his broad teasing smile. I
wished I could smack him for it.

“Right,
Vera
?”
Jaz asked
,
turning back to me.

“Well, seeing no one else talks to me…”

“That’s not true
Vera
.
You
just have selective friend radar. Yo
u know I’m awesome
,
so you hang out
with me!”

“Yeah, that’s it selectiv
e friend radar,
” I muttered
with my eyebrows raised
in mock horror
,
but
Jaz
didn’t notice.

“Back to the pies! What’s your favorite part of Turkey day?”
Jaz probed resting her head on her hands on the back of chair.

I could tell that Tad wasn’t paying attention to the paper he was holding
his red marker
over
because his eyes weren’t moving.

“
I don’t know
.
”
I answered.

“Does your d
ad always cut th
e turkey? My d
ad does,” s
he responded as she rolled her eyes
.
“
He
h
as to be king of the
turkey or something.”

“No, my m
om use
d
to carv
e the turkey,
” I
said
,
my eyes still on Tad.

“You feeling okay,
Vera
? You look pale?”
Jaz asked
,
lifting her head up.

“Just thinking,” I replied
,
feeling my eyes go blurry.
I was about to lose it, and no one could save me.

“Always a thinker, never a talker. What are y
ou doing
,
Mr. Knightley?”
Jaz
asked
,
turning to face him.

I took the opportunity
to quickly wipe my eyes and take
a deep breath. I needed to concentrate on something else…him.

“I usually ea
t over my aunt’s house with my d
ad and siblings,
”
h
e answere
d
,
still staring at the paper he wasn’t grading.

“Usually? Are you doing somethin
g different this year?” Jaz continued her questioning
.

“Not sure some traditions need to be changed or modified. Don’t you think
,
Vera
?”
h
e suggested as he finally looked
up.

“Family tr
adi
tions are important,
” I confirmed as I tried to tell him with my eyes that he shouldn’t be thinking otherwise.

He frowned at me
.
“What are you doing for Turkey
D
ay?”

“Nothing,
”
I sighed, and I knew it wouldn’t help the cause. He was planning something, whether I liked it or not.

Jaz
’s head shot around. “Your parents aren’t doing anything—at all?”

“Uh
…well, sure…nothing special
though,
”
I managed to mutter.

~~~

“W
hat did you do that for?” I
growled
as the rest of the class filtered out into the hall for the ten minute break between blocks.

“What?”Tad asked
,
keeping his eyes on his desk.

“Put me on the spot like that—you knew the
answer,
”
I fired
at him with
my arms crossed in defense across my chest.

“I thought maybe you were doing something with
Kirsten
?”
h
e replied
,
leaning away from my angry pos
ture as his eyes met mine.

“Come on
,
Knightley
!
You know I wouldn’t say that
in front of
Jaz
even if I was!
”

“Uh
oh
, you must be very mad
calling me Knightley like that,
”
h
e teased
,
leaning towards me.

“You’re a
jerk,
”
I hissed,
but all the anger was gone, and instead I found myself being drawn towards him.

“I just don’t think you should be alone on the
holidays
. Why didn’t
Kirsten
ask you over?”

“She was looking for some time to go to New York to visit family. She needed to do it during a time I had a few days off school, so I told her t
o go for the long weekend because
we have Friday and Monday off too.”

“So you’re
real
ly doing nothing at all?”

“Yeah…I guess so,
” I
replied
,
rolling my shoulders.

“Does it get easier?”
h
e asked
,
his eyes searching mine.

I shook my head
in response
.
“I was just a kid
—
holidays were what I look
ed
forward
to and
now I hate them. It reminds me
of
how lonely I am.”

“You wouldn’t be…if I—“

“That’s not possible now
.
”

“Sure it is,
”
h
e retorted
with a shrug that was far too casual for what he was talking about.

“If you got caught…”
I began.

“We aren’t dating
,
Vera
.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

“You know what I meant,
”
Tad replied.

“Don
’t worry about me Mr. Knightley,
”
I reassured him even though I felt that I was crumbling.

H
e
put his head in his hands
.
“If only…”

“Have a good Tha
nksgiving Mr.
Knightley,
” I said
as a student from his next class walked in.

“
Vera
—
”
Tad began.

“Hi Mark
,” I greeted the student who had walked in
,
relieved I knew his name.

“You as well
,
” Tad said
with
his face red.

“Mr.Knightley I have a question on that essay yo
u assigned?” Mark
asked
with a deer in the head lights look
.

I glanced back over my shoulder to meet Tad’s s
ad eyes following me
.