Wanting (12 page)

“
You think she was with
your brother?”

“
No. She wouldn’t do that.
I think she would have been better off being with someone like
Seth.”

“
So why didn’t she marry
him in the first place?”

“
Because I won the coin
toss. Sit down, this is ready.” He pulled the pan from the stove
and motioned toward the table.

Carrie sat. “You flipped a
coin for your wife? That’s weird.”

“
Well, I was only
twenty-five at the time, just out of the navy, as was Seth. Cody
was barely twenty—and she didn’t know about the coin toss. But we
knew something had to be done to help her. So we flipped a coin,
and I proposed the next day. Then entered Quantico the day after
that. We were married a week later.”

“
So did you love her at
all?” Carrie would never marry someone unless she loved him
completely. That’s what marriage was about, and what her mother had
told her to do. She’d told Carrie when she was a small girl to only
marry the man she loved. Otherwise, you were asking for
heartache.

He was silent for a moment
as he dished out pasta. “Yes. I did. Still do. And I won’t lie, we
had a healthy married life—when we were together. I was almost
always away on some case or another, and she was busy with first
classes, then her own work with the Bureau. She went through the
Academy, but has since joined forensics. She’s one hell of a
mechanic. Anything with an engine from mopeds to helicopters, she
can handle. But when we were together we were happy. Apparently,
she thought we both deserved more. She was right. We still keep in
close touch, emails and phone calls. I visit when I’m in Indy. I
see her more now than I did when we were married, or more than I
see my own sister.”

“
And she didn’t get with
your brother?”

“
Seth is more nomadic than
I am.”

“
What do your brothers
do?”

“
Agency. Both of them. Sin
is located at Quantico, has a team of his own. Seth...Seth is a
ghost.”

“
He’s dead?”

“
No. But no one is entirely
certain which agency Seth works for. And he’s never said. Eat. Once
we’re done, we can make a game plan of who we need to speak to
tomorrow. I want to speak with Sherry, her boyfriend, Ashleigh’s
friends, and teachers.”

It took Carrie a minute to
switch her focus, when she did, she placed her fork on her plate.
“Someone, somewhere, knows why this little girl ran
away.”

“
We just have to find that
someone.”

Chapter 26

*****

She’d never be warm again.
The rain had soaked her to the skin, but that didn’t matter. She
was already so cold.

She hiked her bag up over
her shoulder, her grip tight. She couldn’t lose it—it held the only
thing that she had to use as a bargaining chip if he caught her
again.

What was on it and why did
he want it so badly?

She shivered again. He’d
kill to get it; she knew he would. And here in St. Louis she was
back on his turf.

But she’d had no other
choice. Not when she’d seen him watching her dad’s house yesterday
afternoon. She knew he’d seen her—that’s why she had run as fast as
she could. She’d seen the bus station and had darted inside. She’d
been lucky, and she knew it.

Now she needed to find
someplace to sleep for the night. She wanted a bed. And food. And
blankets that were warm and soft and clean. A shelter, perhaps. Was
there any in St. Louis? Ashleigh didn’t know, but if she could find
a phone book she might find a listing. It’s what she’d done in
Louisville, although she’d been careful not to stay there for too
long. If he started checking shelters he would find her.

But not tonight. She’d risk
it tonight.

She just wanted a warm safe
place to sleep again…

Chapter 27

*****

Sebastian spread the files
out over the coffee table, while Carrie took the cat into the
bedroom to feed him. The privacy gave him a moment to reflect on
their dinner conversation. Sebastian missed being married. He
wouldn’t deny that. He and Cody had had a strong relationship built
entirely on friendship. They’d slept together—he wasn’t the type of
man for extramarital affairs, but he was a man. And Cody was a very
beautiful woman.

Sebastian did miss being
married, even though five years had passed. Why had he never
realized that before?

Carrie returned, wearing
loose knit pants and a white tank top. Probably what she intended
to sleep in. In his bed. Red hair loose over his pillow, his silk
sheets around her. Maybe she’d get too hot, and the clothes would
come off...maybe if he turned the air conditioner up a few degrees
higher...

“
You ready for
me?”

“
Excuse me? Oh. Here. Have
a seat.” He wasn’t embarrassed for his thoughts. They were
perfectly normal thoughts; when an attractive woman was near, a man
had thoughts of her naked. Usually. Thoughts of Carrie Sparks naked
would probably haunt him all night.

He could smell the vanilla
of her shampoo, mingling with the scent of her skin. A lock of the
red mass brushed his shoulder and he reached up before he thought.
His fingers touched the silk. It was as soft as it looked. He
released her hair, and closed his eyes for a brief moment. He
needed to get control of himself. Fast.

She’d had several
tumultuous hours since they’d gotten started that morning, she
didn’t need him pawing at her like an animal.

“
What? What did I do? I can
pull my hair back if it bothers you.” Her words were worried, and
had his eyes opening quickly.

“
No. It doesn’t bother me.”
It turned him on. Was she really that oblivious to how he felt
about her? Was he that good at hiding it? Somehow he didn’t think
so. Why else would Hellbrook and Reynolds have given him the so
obvious evil eye?

“
Than what does? I can go
stay in a hotel if you want.”

“
Carrie, stop. I’m not
upset with you...” She wouldn’t believe him, unless he told her the
truth. Would he always have to be so direct with her? He didn’t
know if he could handle that. At least...not at the moment. “I’m
upset with myself.”

She frowned then stared at
him a moment. It was clear in her whiskey eyes that she had no clue
why he was so tense around her. “Why?”

Honesty. The woman demanded
total honesty. “Because I am sitting here thinking about the smell
of your hair, and skin. And wondering what you taste like, if you
taste like vanilla, too. I’m sitting here thinking of those things
instead of what we are supposed to be doing. That’s what’s wrong
with me, Carrie.”

Her mouth dropped open. She
shut it, then opened it again. “Oh. Wow. I didn’t expect that.
Hellbrook said the kiss you gave me wasn’t a friendly kiss, at all.
I guess he was right.”

“
Hellbrook said that?
When? While he was cautioning you to stay away from me?” Hellbrook
again. Sebastian appreciated that the other man cared about Carrie,
but Hellbrook needed to back off a bit where Carrie’s personal life
was concerned. If need be, Sebastian would be happy to explain that
to the other team leader. “He always try to control what you do and
with whom?”

“
He cares about me, that’s
all.”

“
He coddles and smothers
you. Don’t you ever want to tell him to stop?” She had to know how
others saw her. What had he heard other agents call her?
Affirmative Action Agent and Hellbrook’s little pet. Those were
some of the kinder terms. He understood it was the Aspergers that
made her different, but Hellbrook went overboard in shielding
Carrie from the true aspects of their job, at times. And in
Sebastian’s opinion, Hellbrook shouldn’t. He wasn’t doing Carrie
any favors by setting her out as different.

“
He feels he has a right
to.”

“
Because you’ve let him do
it.” He wanted to bite back the words the instant they left his
mouth, but knew it was too late. “Carrie...I...”

“
I know.” She stood and
paced around his small living room. Her hands touched everything.
Nerves. Sebastian could have hit himself; why had he upset her so
much? What had he hoped to accomplish? “I know what they’ve said
about me.”

“
Who?”

“
Who? How about most of the
agents on the fourth floor? Most wonder why I am even with PAVAD.
Especially after Stephenson. You thought the same thing that day
Stephenson kidnapped Georgia. You wanted to know why I just didn’t
‘blurt it out’ that Stephenson was the one who attacked
me.”

“
And that’s when I learned
you have Aspergers.”

“
And that suddenly made my
behavior acceptable. In your eyes.” Frank whiskey eyes met
his.

“
No. It was always
acceptable—as long as your supervisor and the Bureau was fine with
it. I just didn’t understand at that point.”

“
But the spectrum makes it
ok? You want to know something about me, Agent Lorcan? I don’t
forget anything that’s happened to me. Ever. I remember the first
time you touched me. After the Albert Warren case, when our teams
were auxiliary to Dr. Brockman’s. You acted like it disgusted you
to touch me. Like something was wrong with me.”

***

Sebastian remembered it
well. It had been raining the first case they’d worked together.
The CCU had its own jet and he’d been one of the last ones off the
plane. Only Carrie and Zeke Norton, her teammate, had remained.
Carrie was still on crutches from the injuries she’d sustained when
she’d gone over the cliff a few weeks earlier. Norton had stopped
her at the top of the stairs. The metal steps were slick, and
dangerous, and Carrie would not have been able to maneuver. Norton
scooped her up and handed her down the steps to the man at the
bottom. It had been him, and he’d taken her as carefully as he
could. But it hadn’t been disgust in his mind when his hands had
settled on her.

“
I wasn’t disgusted,
Carrie. I was afraid.” Honesty. Sebastian would always be honest
with her. He made a vow to himself in that moment.

“
Afraid of me?
Why?”

“
Afraid that you’d sense
that I wanted to touch you again.” He stepped up behind her, put
his hands on her shoulders. Turned her to face him. “Baby, there is
nothing wrong with you. Anyone who ever tells you differently is
lying. And will have to deal with me. And dammit! I want to touch
you in all sorts of ways that aren’t the least bit acceptable
between coworkers. Hell, I’m not even sure some of the things I
want to do with you are legal in half the states. Do you understand
me?”

He didn’t give her a chance
to answer. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers.
When she didn’t pull away, he deepened the kiss.

Made it hotter, deeper than
the kiss Hellbrook had witnessed and objected to.

Her hands fisted in the
material of his shirt and she hmmed. Pulled him closer.

Holy hell, she wasn’t
pushing him away!

This time it was Sebastian
who pulled away. “Carrie...we need to stop...”

Whiskey eyes opened and
stared up into his. Direct. Honest. Beautiful eyes. “But
why?”

Why? Why the hell should
they stop? He yanked her against him, this time no space separated
him from her. His arms slid around her waist. Hers slid around his
neck. Sebastian pressed his lips against hers.

Her fingers slipped into
his hair. She sighed and kissed him back.

He wanted to be gentle with
her, but she wouldn’t let him. Her lips and hands were just as
insistent and hungry as his.

Shocked the hell out of
him; so much so that when the knock sounded on his door he almost
thought it was the sound of his own heart beating out of his
chest.

Only her pulling away told
him the sound was real and not something he’d imagined.

Chapter 28

*****

Sebastian pulled back. The
expression in Carrie’s eyes almost had him saying fuck the door and
hauling her even closer. Her lips were swollen from his and that
red hair was in a tangle around her face. Because of
him.

“
You probably want to
answer that.” Her hand pushed against his chest, but the winded
quality of her voice told him that she was just as affected by the
kiss as he.

Who knew? Who knew that
kissing Carrie Sparks would make him hotter than he’d been in a
long, long time? Had he half expected that and that was why he’d
been so reserved with her through the past several weeks since
they’d first met?

He wiped a hand over his
face and straightened his shirt a bit. Her hands had fisted in the
black cotton and popped two buttons open. He fastened them quickly.
The knocker would be able to take one look at him and Carrie and
know what they’d been doing. That couldn’t be helped, or denied.
Not that he would deny it. Ever.

He swung open the
door.

“
Hey, boss man. Heard
you’ve got my sister here.” Paige Daviess stood with one hand on a
narrow hip and an air of nonchalance. Until you looked at her eyes
and saw the concern in the dark brown depths.