Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (21 page)

I strangle my dick with my hand. I have a monstrous motherfucking hard-on right now. This shit hurts more than the beating I received from Jerry. I need a fucking release, and I need it now. I hop into the shower to finish the job, but my dick wants the real deal. I’ve never been this long without sex. I want it with Elle. The water beats and slides all around me. Closing my eyes, I brace myself against the shower wall with one hand while the other clutches my dick. I imagine my hands all over her and my lips tasting hers. My mind returns to the first time I felt her pushed against the wall with her body pressed tightly to mine. Her fingers scratch up and down my back in long, hard strides. With these thoughts, the pressure builds instantly.

I hear her moan fill my ears. I taste her tongue and skin. I feel her lush body under mine. I slide my palm faster over my straining rod.
“Fuck, yeah
…” It feels good. I feel her soft mouth covering my dick. My legs shake and my balls clench with need. I grip the base to stop from coming too soon. I clench my eyes, wanting to feel every pulse of her body and imaging the sound of her pants. I stroke harder and faster. Getting closer, I feel the hot, steamy water cascade down my body in time to shoot ropes of cum onto the shower wall. “
Fu-uck
,” I groan. I catch some air, breathing deeply and trying to come back down from my high. She’s my drug. I don’t think I can last much longer without her.

I throw on my hoodie, slide on some shades to hide my tired eyes from the morning sun and head out the door early. I’m ready to hit the gym. I stretch out my morning kinks on the porch while watching the activities at the track across the street. The track means something now. At one time, it was just a track—green space, turf, and marks on concrete.

It was not just running with Elle; it was sharing a piece of her, but that’s not the case anymore. I feel fucking pain, like I lost something huge.
Holy shit
. The things this girl has done to me. I hop into my ride, throw it in reverse and head down the street to Commonwealth Avenue. I released some of my frustrations in the shower; now I need to kill it at the gym. I need to prove to myself that I’m not a lost cause.

I crawl up the street in my Hummer and roll down the windows. The leaves on the trees are starting to change colors, and it’s a little colder now with fall around the corner. I hate the change of going into another phase and starting over. I watch runners circle the track, but my eyes draw to one in particular. I can recognize her from any distance by the movement of her body and the way her ponytail swings from side to side. As I’m watching her, I almost hit a parked car on the street. Parking behind a van so she doesn’t see my ride, I observe her for a minute and try to build up the courage to talk to her.

I’m ready to jump out of the car when I see her brother run up beside her. Slamming my hands against the steering wheel, I curse to myself. Something, someone, everything is keeping me from getting to her. I wonder when I will get an opportunity like this to fall into my lap again. I grab my phone from my bag and scroll down to her number. This is it. No going back.

Reed: Even when you’re angry you’re still beautiful. I wish it wasn’t me u were angry with. Please give me a chance to explain. Reed.

I hit
Send
and throw the phone back into my bag. All I can do now is wait and hope she’ll give me that chance. I step out of my ride, lean against the door and watch her uninterrupted. My body aches, and my dick is instantly hard. No woman in this world can do what she does to me.

Stopping at the bleachers, they chat and laugh for a few minutes before she checks her phone. Her body language changes immediately. She stiffens and raises her hand to her hair. I follow her eyes as she glances in the direction of my apartment and then sweeps them over the track like she’s looking for someone. Me. I voluntarily duck away, even though there is no way she can see me.

I slide back into my truck, wondering what I will do if she does not respond. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I feel like an outsider, a stranger when she used to be everything to me. Although she’s here in my sights, I don’t know anything about her anymore. I need some answers, and I think this is where my new friend Sierra may be of use to me after all.

I woke up this morning thinking everything I saw was a dream, that I really didn’t see him with Sierra last night. The look on his face was one I’ve never seen before. I’ve seen him angry and emotional, but this look was devastation. I’m sure it had everything to do with getting caught with another girl. Then he had the nerve to say he came back for me. I fell for his poetic and heartfelt words once, but not anymore. I’m starting to believe there is no such thing as happy endings, at least not for me.

It’s been almost three weeks since I laced up my sneakers and over a month since I’ve run at the track. God, I’ve missed this. The air in my face, my feet hitting the pavement, and just running in general have always been exhilarating to me. I came here today since I’m heading over to Mom’s house later, and Jamaica Pond was a little out of the way. I’m not going to avoid coming here anymore. Why should I? Just because of him?

“One more lap.” Jace runs up beside me and smiles. I don’t have to worry about Jace falling behind; he can keep pace with me as we run the rest of the lap in silence.

“This is kinda like a bonding moment for us?” He smirks, peeking out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, bonding.” I chuckle as we stop at the bleachers to take a break.

“Anything going on with you?” Jace asks as he twists from side to side.

“No why?” I reply, grabbing my phone from the bleachers. “Should there be?” I raise my eyebrow.

He will go nuts if I tell him about seeing Reed. Or maybe not. I don’t know. All I do know is that it’s easier if I deal with this by myself.

“Damn, Sis. Simple question, simple answer,” he replies, grabbing his water bottle. “So, are you and Tyler good?”

“What is up with you?” I hit his arm. “Are you Cane’s informant? I should be asking you about Brooke. What happened to your no relationships in college rule?”

“It’s not a relationship,” he replies, exasperated. “We study. That’s it.” He emphasizes with a smile.

“Uh huh.” I laugh, goading him. “Study.”

“With a bunch of other people.” He frowns. “After what you went through this summer with that little love square, I’ll step back from that. I just need some Jace time.”

I couldn’t agree with him more. Elle time. Well, not so much with Tyler in the picture, but he doesn’t cause problems like the other men in my life. With the return of Reed, things just got complicated. Not that I would go running into his arms. It’s the fact that he’s here. Accessible. The only good thing is that he doesn’t know where I live, and I would like to keep it that way. Temptation is an evil thing.

I scan my phone for new texts, reading a couple from Piper inviting me to various shows that Crimzen has booked at The Paradise Lounge and another one at the Middle East again. I respond with a maybe. Lately, I can’t plan more than a day ahead with my crazy life. I read another text from Travis about Tyler’s surprise birthday plans this upcoming weekend. Everything is up in the air. Who knows what we’re going to do. I text him back.

Elle: How about some bar hopping?

Travis: I’m liking it ;) Low key and simple like my bro.

Elle: Then it’s settled. How’s 8 on Friday? Meet at ur dad’s.

Travis: Perfection. ;)

Elle:C u then!

Travis: We’re gonna have a blast.

“Making plans?” Jace asks, glancing at me.

“You’ve been asking plenty of questions lately. What’s up with that?” I ask as I hit
Send
and absently scroll through the rest of my texts. I suck in a breath when I see the text waiting to be read. Flicking my eyes across the field, I note that his Hummer is gone. My brother notices my reaction and follows my gaze, so I abruptly return my focus to the phone.

“What’s wrong with you?” he comments, glancing at me and back across the field.

“Nothing.” I sigh heavily, anxious to read the message. “I just got a weird text from Tyler’s brother about his birthday.”

“Oh, all right. I’m not gonna pry,” he says, raising his hands in defeat. “I know how you want your space now that you’re all grown up,” he jokes.

“Shut up, smart ass.” I return to Reed’s text message with my thumb hovering over the
Delete
button. I don’t want to read anything he has to say, even if it is an apology.
I won’t
, I tell myself.
You know you want to read it. You’re dying inside. Face it
.

I cave in.

The words hurt when they should make me happy. I don’t want to be angry at him. That’s the last thing I wanted and leaving me is the last thing I thought he’d do. Should I respond? No. I need to think about what I have to say. Clear my head. Take a deep breath. I know part of me wants to text him back so desperately, but I could type something out of anger or confusion that I would regret. I need time. I still need time. I didn’t think seeing him again would hurt so much.

I miss Sunday dinners with my family. I miss seeing my dad at the table too, but it is what it is. It’s been this way for over ten years. The situation at home with my mom seems to be back to normal since Corey has moved out. She hasn’t really talked about if it’s temporary or not. I don’t plan on bringing it up either. I want our Sunday together to be pleasant and not wrought in negative subjects. I believe you come to a point where you realize that the only way to fix a problem is to move past it.

It’s annoying that Reed is back and living a few blocks away from me. I have been beating myself up since I received his text. My traitorous body has been aching for him. It’s been a while. In an attempt to keep my mind on something other than Reed, I decide to throw myself wholeheartedly into helping my mom with Sunday dinner.

“Elle.”

Someone is talking to me, but I hear nothing as tears threaten the corners of my eyes. Glancing sideways, my mom captures my wrist as I’m cutting a cucumber and meets my eyes.

“What’s going on with you?”

I look at her and blink rapidly a couple of times before I clear my throat
.
“Everything,” I murmur. Why can’t I get this man out of my mind? I need a distraction.
Seems like I may need numerous distractions.
I need to drown these images and the idea of him somehow. Why did he come back? What happened to not talking about negative topics?

“Honey, talk to me.” she says taking the pot of pasta off the stove.

I swallow the painful lump that has formed in my throat. “Reed’s back,” My chest opens up and oxygen flows through my lungs when I speak the words. What good does it do me to keep it bottled up inside anyways?

“Oh.” She turns, resting her hip against the counter. “How do you feel about that?” she asks as she wipes her hand on her apron.