Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (16 page)

“Yeah, Jace is a natural over here. He’s one of the reasons why we won that game with Wake Forest,” Coach says as he slaps Jace’s shoulder pad. Jace nods in Coach’s direction and smiles. “He’s a multi-talented athlete on top of being very knowledgeable about everything sports.”

“Thanks, Coach.”

“What does your sister call you again? The Sports Almanac or something?”

“Encyclopedia. Sports Encyclopedia,” he states, mockingly staring right into my eyes as he clenches his jaw. “My
sister
hates that about me, but she got over it. Some things you can’t though.” He turns, looking back at me and heads out to the dummies on the field to take some drills with the rest of the team.

Yeah, dickhead, no need to remind me of my bonehead decision to keep my mouth shut with your sister.

“What was that about?” Coach raises his eyebrow and shakes his head. “I don’t get these kids.” He laughs.

I look over at the coach and offer him a weak smile. A couple of players suit up next to me, and I instantly become anxious. It’s like that intense, addicting rush I feel when I’m at the casino, and it’s the identical feeling I got from being around Elle. If I had to pick one, it would be her. It would have been her.

“Well, what are you waiting for, old man? Put on some pads and let’s get practicing if you want to go pro. I’ll make sure my boys give you all they’ve got.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will, Coach.” I laugh as I grab a set of pads from the pile of equipment. “I know one in particular who’s going to be out for some blood on that field,” I mumble as I turn away.

I wait for the firestorm after practice, and I get it. I figure the hits he got in on me weren’t enough for him, and a verbal assault was in order, too. I’m prepared for it though. I actually want it. I intentionally stay behind in the locker room and wait for the last of the players to leave. Jace watches me, folding the same T-shirt over and over again and listening to his iPod for over thirty minutes. I don’t care what kind of shit talk he’s gonna give me; I just want to know how Elle is doing. Finally, he looks over and pulls out his ear buds just as a freshman on the team asks me for an autograph. I’m kind of shocked by his request, realizing how unsure and uncomfortable I am with the whole idea of fame.

“So, are you back to cause some more fucking trouble with my sister?” He walks toward me, throwing his gym bag over his broad shoulders. I never knew how big he was until now. This kid can do some damage. Shit. I’m sore from the couple of hits he gave me on the field, but nothing that I’ve never felt before. It felt really good to be back out running some plays on the turf.

“No, I did not come to do any of that.” I lie. “I came for classes like I’ve always planned.” I’m surprised he believes my line of bullshit.

“Good idea. Since my sister has moved on.”

“I’m glad.” I pause, scrubbing the back of my neck. “Just don’t tell her I’m here, okay?”

“Fuck, what do I look like? I’m not going to tell my sister shit about you being here. I’m not getting involved. I don’t want to be the one relaying that her piece of shit ex is back in town. I’m not sure what it would do to her.” His lips curl into a sneer. “But, you know,” he says as he steps toward me so that we are almost toe-to-toe, “I knew you were a fucking douche when you were standing in my kitchen, looking at my sister like that.” He rubs his forehead in irritation. “You had me, though. Your name was on the tip of my tongue that day, but that Reed shit threw me off.”

“Listen, man. I was gonna tell your sister everything, but shit happened back home that was out of my control.”

“Don’t explain that shit to me, man. You should have told my sister way back. Don’t practice on me what you should have said to her. It’s done now. She’s moved on.”

“Yeah.” It’s so fucking hard for me to say the next words. Miraculously, they do come out, just a little strained. “I know she’s with Tyler now.”

“Wait. What?” He inhales, his eyes darkening. “You saw her? When? Where?”

“A couple of weeks ago at the airport when I got back in town.”

“Then you’re not a complete asshole after all,” he retorts with a tight smile.

“Like I said, I never meant to hurt her,” I reply, turning to grab my backpack.

“I don’t know much about what she does now that she’s got her own place, but if she is with him, then good for her. Tyler’s had a thing for her for a while. He’s a good guy and won’t lie or pull the shit you did on her.”

“I know,” I answer when I turn to face him. I’m curious to know where she lives and with whom, but I know he’s not going to disclose that information to me. We stand in the dimly lit locker room in silence for a minute before I break it. “I think we’re done here, right? I know what I need to do, and you made it clear that you won’t tell her you saw me.”

“Yeah, but who knows how long before she does see you? You aren’t the invisible man, and you two take classes at the same college. I’d hate to be there when the shit hits the fan. You’ve definitely got a few more haters than friends out here now.”

I’m pretty familiar with the situation I’m in. It’s not the first time.

“I can’t control that. I have to live my life, and so does Elle. When and if we see each other, then we’ll deal with it.”

“For your fucking sake, I hope it doesn’t happen. I’d hate to see what it would do to her,” he replies, shaking his head.

I want to see her so badly. I only need one chance with her and it hurts so damn bad just thinking about it. If I have to see her in pain one more time just so I can pour out my heart to her, I will. I know it’s selfish, but she needs to hear it so she can see that I mean every word I say and that I’m not this asshole that left her high and dry.

I’ve been back to Linden Park a couple of times. Tonight I needed to go back after seeing her at the bar. I’ve been by the track to run in the morning and at night, hoping to catch her, but I don’t see her. She’s made changes in her life while I still live in the past. She should be moving on and I deserve to be here, wallowing in the mess I’ve made. I even walked by the center a few times just to catch a glimpse of her, yet I haven’t seen her once. I wonder if she works there anymore. I can’t see her leaving that place. She loves her job and the kids too much.

I take a seat on the bench we shared not that long ago. I clutch my head in my hands and stare at my feet. I’m no good at this kind of shit. I close my eyes and recall the first night we talked. I remember her smile, the blush in her cheeks and her legs that I’d sneak glances whenever she wasn’t looking. The memories are all I have of her. Just damn memories. I swear I hear her voice in my head, and I can smell her, too. I pop open my eyes, unable to take much more of it. I feel so lonely. Even the damn moon hanging in the sky reminds me of her and the last time I talked to her over the phone from Texas. I wanted to pour out my heart to her that night. She’s got to know that I wanted to come back to her.

Why the fuck am I doing this to myself? More like, what is she doing to me? How can a woman affect me this way? I fucking brought me here. It’s going to be hard not to stay away from her. I’m not sure how I’m going to do it.
I don’t want to do it.
I’m going back and forth with this. Some other guy had his hands on her the other night. Maybe she’s not with Tyler anymore, and she’s fair game. I may have another chance. Will she even give me one? I’ve already made my decision, and I’m going to stick with it. The day will come when we’ll be face-to-face. I won’t leave this town until that happens.

Manning the door at the club is probably the best decision I made since I got back. It’s easy work, good money and I’ve made some new friends in the first two weeks. Danny decided to close the place early tonight. Luke and his girl of the day and Sierra and I will be heading out to grab something to eat. No double date.

Come to find out Sierra is kind of cool. We talked that night at the apartment and discovered that both of us experienced painful breakups recently. It was good to talk to her and get a female’s point of view on everything. She and I exchanged numbers that night. This is the first time I’ve actually had a female friend with whom I had sexual relations that wasn’t my girlfriend. I know nothing is going to happen with her again because what happened between us was before I met Elle, before everything changed for me.

The last of the people have left the club when I get a text from Sierra saying they are just around the corner. Luke decided to pick up Sierra and his date who lives a few blocks from the apartment. Everything is so damn convenient around here. I wish I knew where Elle lived. Or maybe I don’t. Whatever. I haven’t thought about her all night until now. I need a beer and a minute to relax, but instead my phone alerts me of an incoming text from Sierra.

Sierra:We’re here. So whenever you’re ready! :)

Reed: Be out in a sec.

I clock out and head to the back door where Luke and the girls are waiting in my Hummer. His car is still in the shop. I’m not sure if that is even true anymore and he just likes driving my damn ride. I gave him the keys so he could pick me up since we planned to go out. I walk around to the driver’s side as Luke hops into the backseat with his date. Sierra takes the front seat next to me.

“What’s the plan?” Luke asks.

“I don’t know. I’m leaving it up to you guys,” I respond as I adjust the rearview mirror and acknowledge Sierra with a smile.

“Whatever, man. I’m open to anything, you know,” Luke confirms with a chuckle as he nudges my shoulder.

“Great,” I moan as I put my Hummer in drive and figure out where we’re going. I’m not good at making last minute decisions, especially in a city in which I’m not totally familiar.

It’s getting darker sooner and the air is cooler, but I still drive with my window down. We aimlessly drive around downtown Boston for about thirty minutes and decide to head into Jamaica Plain. Luke wants to check out a place called Bella Luna. The last time I was in this part of town was when the hottest tour guide in Boston took me out. It’s the middle of the week, so it will probably be slow. I’m not in the mood for any large crowds.

“Hey, do you mind if we stop for some ice cream?” Sierra looks over at me and flutters her lashes as we pass J.P. Licks.

“Yeah, sure. What do you guys think?” I ask as I look back at Luke, who’s preoccupied with his date’s neck and tanned thigh.

“Yeah,” he mutters as he returns to his date’s neck.

I chuckle and take about ten minutes to find a parking space a couple of blocks away from J.P. Licks.

“What the hell is up your ass?” Luke bumps me with his shoulder as we fall behind Sierra and his date Paige. I overhear parts of Sierra’s conversation with Paige, who looks back and eyes me up and down while shaking her head in disbelief. She turns back to Sierra and mouths “too bad”.

“Nothing, man. I’m just tired,” I answer, looking over at him, but through him.

“You should be happy with a piece of ass like that.” He flicks his head in Sierra’s direction as he jabs me in the ribs.

“Been there, done that and not interested,” I respond with forced ease.

“Damn, you still on that kick? Fuck, you’re letting some exceptional ass slip through your doors.”

Shit. It was good, but not great. Physical sex is okay, but it doesn’t compare to the kind when you really care and love someone. It’s a whole different playing field, another fucking universe.

“Don’t start with me, motherfucker.” I laugh. “We’re friends and nothing else.”

“So...” He raises his eyebrows and rakes his eyes over her body as we reach J.P Licks.

“Free country, man. She’s not mine,” I say, giving him permission to do whatever the fuck he wants with her.

“Damn, you’re giving that up like that? I hope I don’t experience whatever you’ve got.”

“Shit, when you find the one, you’ll know it. And, when you feel it, you’ll know what I’m talking about,” I counter, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“Well, I’m cool for now,” he jokes, returning his attention to Sierra’s remarkable body.

“It will happen, and I hope I’m around when some chick brings you to your knees.”