Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (8 page)

“How are you, Vanessa?” My dad peeks over at my mom who looks up from closing a box.

“Fine, James, and you?” she replies with a forced smile.

Dad doesn’t know anything about Mom and Corey living apart or her drinking problem, and my mom wants to keep it that way. She actually agreed to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. The past month has taken a toll on her, and with me leaving, it’s going to be especially difficult but I have to live for me now. She’s reassured me she would be fine, and I know Jace will be around for her.

“I’m fine.” He smiles meekly and turns to me when my mom drops her eyes. “I like the color of the walls, Elle. The ocean?” he says as he slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Yep,” I say.

“We should take a trip out to the beach one Saturday. What do you think?”

When I was a child, every Saturday morning during the summer we picked a beach to spend the day on the sand. My favorites were Crane Beach and Singing Beach. Jace and I would alternate Saturdays to select the beach; most of the time we chose Crane Beach because the shoreline is so beautiful and goes on forever. The last time I visited that beach was this past summer with Reed. In the short time I’ve known and been him, he’s experienced and seen parts of my life that mean something and are important to me.

“Summer is almost over and classes will start soon, so I’m not sure if I will have time,” I reply. “I can try though. I would really love to go to the beach.”

“Great.” He smiles. “We can talk about it later.”

“Yeah, enough with the chitchat. We’ve got plenty of stuff to put on the truck,” Jace says as he looks over at my mom and grabs another box.

“Let me help you with that,” my dad says, walking over to Mom and taking the box from her arms.

“Thanks, James,” she answers. Jace shrugs his shoulders and looks at me with a smile touching the corners of his mouth. That’s the first time in years that we’ve seen our parents together in the same room having a conversation. The tension is palpable, but it’s more than we expected. It reminds me of the relationship I have with Cane now. It is odd how at one time you can feel so close to someone, and the next, you feel like complete strangers.

“I’m right behind you, guys,” I say, watching my parents and brother leave. I relish in the fact that even though my parents live apart, we’re still a family and Jace and I are the glue that keeps them together. “I have a few more things to grab in the closet, and I’ll be right down.” There’s actually one very important thing I need to get from the top shelf of my closet, a small leather trunk that holds my entire childhood inside. Pulling it down from the top shelf, it’s the one thing I own that’s never left this room or this house, and now it’s coming with me to a different space to hold new memories from a new stage in my life.

I carry it to the foot of my bed and sit down on the floor. My heartbeat quickens and a warm feeling radiates throughout my body as I lift the lid. I pull out the pom-poms I used when I cheered on Tyler at his baseball games and the jersey he gave me after his little league team won the championship. He said if it weren’t for me cheering, he wouldn’t have hit the home run that broke the tie. I hold up the T-shirt he autographed for me. It reads “To my lucky charm. I couldn’t have done it without you. Love Always, Tyler”. Tears begin to well in my eyes as I hold the shirt close to my chest. I could probably pull out each item from this trunk and Tyler would be linked to it in some way.

“Hey.”

The mere sound of his voice makes me smile. I open my eyes to find Tyler kneeling in front of me and smiling impishly. “That’s not what I think it is, is it?” He touches the shirt and looks up into my eyes.

“Well, do you know someone with the last name Hayes who played baseball for the Boston Blue Beams?” I laugh. “What a name!”

“Stop being a smart ass.” He chuckles as he sits down next to me, stretching his long legs in front of him, crossing one over the other.

“Do you remember what you wrote on this?” I say as I hug the shirt to my chest.

“Really?” His eyes twinkle as he speaks, “My lucky charm. I couldn’t have done it without you.” He snickers. “Are you kidding? I can never forget it! You wearing your Yankee T-shirt and hat while waving those pom-poms and then basically tackling me after the game.”

“Well… I got a little carried away.” I blush, shrugging my shoulders. “It worked though, right?”

“Yeah, you always pull through for me. I just wish you would give me a hug like that again.” He laughs as he lifts his shoulder and leans away surprised when I don’t punch him. That has always been my typical reaction to a smart aleck comment from him, but today I truly want to give him what he desires because I realize that Tyler was involved in every part of my childhood.

“Come and get it before I change my mind.”

“Seriously?” He looks around like it’s some kind of joke. “You’re accepting my request? No retaliation or physical violence?” He frowns playfully, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

“No, there are no tricks and no punches. Just a hug,” I say, loving the time I spend with him like this

“Wow! Is someone turning over a new leaf?”

“Listen. Any more smart ass remarks and I’ll take back my offer.”

“Shit, aren’t we being a little aggressive?” He chuckles.

“Time is running out,” I say, folding the T-shirt and placing it inside the box along with the pom-poms. I close the trunk and stand up, brushing off my jeans.

“Fine.” He laughs, jumping up from the floor. “This probably won’t happen for another hundred years,” he says, spreading his arms out in front of him. “Come here.”

“Pfft...” I reply as I walk toward him. His strong arms enclose my body and pull me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his waist as he inhales deeply.

“Perfect fit.” He sighs.

I silently agree and hug him tighter.

“What an amazing view,” Karlie says breathlessly as she stops sweeping the living room floor in my new apartment and gazes out the bay window into the front yard.

“What are you talking about?” I look over and laugh. “There’s a big U-Haul in the driveway and a couple of brownstones across the street. That’s a pretty shitty view.”

“I’m talking about the three hot, shirtless guys moving you into your apartment. Maybe I should make that four now.”

“Four?” I place the framed black and white photo, which I was in the process of hanging on the drab eggshell colored walls, onto the sofa.

“There’s a pretty incredible looking guy with blonde hair helping out now.” She smiles keenly. “That’s a pretty fine starting lineup you have out there.”

I walk over and stand beside her as I pull my hair in a messy bun and glance out the window. Anxiety strangles me as a million memories flash in front of my eyes when I see Cane helping Jace unload my bed from the truck. It’s obvious to me that my conniving brother told Cane I was moving today. With everything going on, it totally slipped my mind to even ask him or perhaps I did it intentionally knowing that if I saw him it would make me feel this way. Inside my heart is racing and my blood grows warm as I restlessly glance down at my feet. Collecting myself, I hastily spin on my heels and return to hanging the photo when I notice Karlie’s sympathetic expression.

“What’s that look for?” I smile, to hide my emotional struggle.

“You and that guy had a history.” She wasn’t asking; she was stating a fact.

“Yes,” I say, feeling my stomach clench. I suck in a deep breath to regain my composure, surprised that he still makes me react this way.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” She walks over and touches my shoulder. “I could tell by the way your shoulders fell when you saw him, pretty much everything about your body language screamed heartbreak.”

“We we’re together for two years,” I reply, picking up the photo. I absently wipe the glass with the palm of my hand. “He was my first real love,” I whisper. I haven’t thought about our break and now that she’s bringing it up, it’s like a match was lit and ignited every emotion I felt with him. Each memory comes flooding back. Will this always happen? I look up into her prying green eyes, smiling as she moves the broom to her other hand.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes, meeting my eyes as she brushes a loose strand of hair from her eyes.

“I’m fine.” I turn away, biting my lip to hold back my emotions swirling violently in my chest.

“You know I’m here if you need to vent or anything. I know how it is.” She turns around and continues sweeping. I glance back at her, thinking that I probably do need another woman to vent my problems. Even Tyler couldn’t help me with this. I can’t always drag him into my emotional turmoil. It’s not fair.

My apartment is coming together.
I have to say I’m a pretty lucky girl to have so many people willing to help me,
I think to myself as I put the last of my glasses inside the kitchen cabinet and turn to unpack my plates.

“Are you all set, hon?” my dad asks as he puts down the box containing my stereo equipment in the living room.

I look up and stop unpacking, thankful for the reprieve. Straightening up, I smile at Dad from across the room. It was great spending the afternoon with him. I think he enjoyed it more than Jace and me. I loved watching Jace and him chat as if the pain of all the lost years never existed. Jace said things in the past about our dad out of anger, but seeing them today was what I needed. Actions definitely speak louder than words. I want my brother to be happy, too. Dad reaching out first is what Jace wanted to see. He was too proud to do it on his own, and after what Mom went through because of our dad, I can understand why he did it.

“Think so?” I ask, looking around the empty apartment. Everyone has taken a break outside on the porch.

“My little girl...” He stops and his eyes twinkle as he walks toward me. “I’m so proud of you for taking this step. With everything this family has gone through, you’re stronger than I thought. ” He says full of pride.

“I’ve needed to do this for a long time, Dad.” I sigh. “Unfortunately, something bad had to happen for me to do it, to make this decision.”

“Well, maybe instead of thinking what happened as negative, think that it brought you here, possibly to a better place.”

“Yes,” I breathe in deeply. “This does feel right.” I felt that way with Reed. Maybe I’m not lucky in love. Maybe I just need to focus on my life and me. Pave a path that’s perfect for me and push all the pain of my past behind me.

“So, how is your mom?” he asks as he checks the locks on the doors.

“Fine.”

“Really?” He turns to me with concern written all over his face. “She didn’t seem like herself.”

“It could be the fact that I don’t live at home anymore.”

“Yes,” he scratches his head nervously before he speaks, “I still care for your mother. I hate what happened to our family and what I did to her. Sometimes I wish I stuck it out with her instead of thinking the grass was greener on the other side with someone else. I was selfish.”

“Why didn’t you try harder?” I ask softly.

“I don’t know. It happens. We were in different places, and I wasn’t happy.” He reveals with regret in his eyes.

“Are you happy now?”

Taking me in his arms, he says, “I’m happy seeing you and Jace doing well. I intend to be a bigger part of your lives now. I’ll come running like I should have been.” He pulls me away and looks into my eyes. “That is, if you want me.”

“Of course,” I whisper, feeling his warm arms pull me in once again.

“Good. Because the three of us are going to make up for lost time. It’s something I should have been doing all along.”

“Starting with the beach?” I breathe, sensing my life coming full circle as if the hole that was created ten years ago is finally closing and repairing itself. Baby steps.

“Yep, the beach,” he murmurs.