War Torn (10 page)

~ Chapter Thirteen ~

~ Tucker ~

I wake up feeling somewhat more refreshed than I have been. Man, I needed that extra sleep. I’ve been feeling so exhausted; not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. I’m still a little shocked at myself for actually telling Dennis last night that I wanted to be alone. But I was so tired and I really didn’t feel like being near anyone; sadly, not even Dennis. I just wanted to be alone. And I’m glad he gave me the space that I asked for. I needed it.

I open my eyes and glance at the clock. 8:00 am. Holy shit! I actually slept past 6:00 am! Good thing I didn’t have work today or I would have been late. I go to shift, but I can’t because I’m trapped under Dennis’ weight. I didn’t even realize that half of his body was on top of me. His head is on my shoulder, his right arm is wrapped around my chest, and his right leg is draped over mine. I sigh and hug him closer, kissing his forehead.

Dennis sighs sleepily and snuggles in closer to me. “Morning,” he mutters.

“Hey, baby,” I reply softly.

“Are you feeling better today?” he asks.

“Much. I’m sorry about last night.”

“Don’t apologize,” he says and lifts his head from my shoulder so that he can look at me.

“I just really needed to be alone.” I frown.

“I understand,” he says, using his right hand to rub my chest reassuringly.

“How was your day yesterday?” I ask, since we basically didn’t talk all day.

A small smile curls Dennis’ lips. “I got my new limb.”

I gasp and sit up, practically throwing Dennis off me. “You did?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Dennis laughs. “You wanted to be alone! I didn’t want to bother you.”

“But that’s important!” I huff.

“Sorry. I’ll make sure to tell you next time.” He chuckles.

I roll my eyes at him. “So? How is it?”

“It’s great. Feels fantastic.”

“And you’re going to keep up on getting it adjusted, right?” I say, giving him a pointed stare.

“Yes, sir.” He snickers, giving me a half-assed salute.

“Don’t be a dick,” I grunt, shoving at his shoulder.

Dennis gives me a lecherous look before grabbing his morning wood through his boxer-briefs. “I got your dick right here,” he growls.

I shiver at the tone of his voice. He watches me as I climb on top of him, forcing him onto his back. I nudge his face to the side with my own before leaning down and nipping at his earlobe. He huffs out a harsh breath and squirms under me, looking for friction. I slowly kiss my way down his body, dragging his underwear off as I go. I shove his legs apart so I can fit between them. Gripping the base of his already leaking cock, I lift it off his belly.

“I guess I owe you for last night,” I rasp, flicking my tongue across the very tip of the head.

Dennis just groans and thrusts his hips, trying to get me to do more. I smile and flick my tongue again.

“Tucker! Come on!” Dennis pleads, lifting his head from the pillow to look down at me.

With his full attention, I slowly take inch by inch into my mouth until I can feel him down my throat. Dennis cries out and drops his head back down. His hands find my hair and he hangs on tightly. I let him fuck my mouth like he wants, which is hard and fast. Within minutes, he’s coming down my throat and gasping for air. I climb back up his body and kiss him on the lips.

“That was good,” he hums, his eyes closed. “I like waking up to a blowjob.”

“I like waking up to you,” I murmur with a small grin.

He opens his eyes and looks over at me. “I like waking up to you, too.” He smirks, but I can see all of the love and adoration he has for me in his green eyes.

~ Dennis ~

After my very nice wake up call, Tucker and I get dressed and make our way out into the living room. Duke is sitting at the dining room table, typing away on his laptop. Since neither Tucker nor I are working today, we’re both going to go to the hospital to visit his mom. It sucks to be out of work - again - and, I’m surprised that Jim has kept me around for as long as he has. He’s a good guy, though, and I’m very grateful that he’s my boss.

Duke lets us take his car to the hospital. He said he’s not planning on going anywhere today. When we walk into his mom’s room, his dad, brother, and sister-in-law are already there. After greeting everyone, Tucker goes and gives his mom a kiss on the forehead and speaks quietly to her. I have no idea whether she can hear him or not. I stand off toward the foot of the bed with my crutches tucked under my arms.

“How’s the foot doing, Dennis?” Tom, Tucker’s dad, asks me.

I glance down at my casted foot before looking over at him, giving him a shrug. “Just waiting for it to heal.”

Tom nods in understanding.

After an hour of small talk, Rhys, Selene, and Tom decide to go grab some coffee and something to eat from the cafeteria, leaving us alone with Tucker’s mom, Sherry. Tucker moves into the seat that his father was occupying and takes his mother’s hand. He glances over at me before looking back at his mom.

“Mom, I don’t know if you can hear me or not, and I don’t know if dad has said anything like this to you, but I heard that it helps people let go. It’s okay for you to leave. Dad will be okay; Rhys and I will make sure of it. You don’t have to hang on for us. It’s time for you to go,” he says softly. “We love you and we know that you love us. You don’t have to suffer anymore.” His last words are a little choked, so I go and stand behind him and place my hands on his shoulders.

A few minutes pass in silence. Then a small voice fills the silence.

“Tucker?” Sherry breathes, her eyes fluttering open.

Tucker shoots to his feet and leans over his mom, hand still holding hers. “I’m here, mom.”

She smiles weakly. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he croaks.

“Don’t you worry about what dad and Rhys think,” she whispers.

I can’t see Tucker’s face because his back is to me, but I’m pretty sure he’s frowning.

“What?”

Sherry’s eyes flick to mine. “Dennis. He loves you, Tucker. That’s all that matters.”

Tucker glances over his shoulder at me before turning back to his mom. His look saying that he is totally confused. “But what if they disown me?” he whispers.

“They might, but they will come around eventually. They love you, and they won’t want to lose you either.”

“How can you be so sure?” he rasps.

She smiles. “Because mothers know everything.”

Tucker huffs out a small laugh.

“Tell them I love them. And I love you, too, my sweet boy,” she breathes as her eyes slowly close.

“I love you, too, mom,” Tucker chokes.

My eyes burn with the threat of tears. I’m pretty sure this is her last goodbye and I think Tucker knows it, too. I glance at the heart rate monitor. It’s not making any noise, but there is only a straight line. Tom had asked the nurse to turn the sound off because he didn’t want to hear that tell tale flat line beep whenever Sherry decided to go.

“She’s gone, Tuck,” I murmur.

He drops down into the chair with a stiff nod. He drops his head into his hands and starts sobbing. I don’t know what kind of comfort he wants from me right now, so I just place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze, letting him know that I’m there for him. I wipe away my own tears as a couple of nurses come into the room, followed by a doctor. He calls her time of death before giving Tucker a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaves the room. The nurses go about unhooking Sherry from the machines and IV.

“Tucker, you need to call your dad and tell him to come back here,” I tell him.

He nods and collects himself as best as he can while pulling out his phone. But just as he’s about to hit send, the door bursts open and his father, brother, and sister-in-law rush in. The anguished cry that comes from Tom breaks my heart. Tucker stands so that his father can take his seat. Tom drops heavily into the chair and takes his dead wife’s hand. He places his forehead on her hand as he cries, saying her name over and over. Rhys is standing by the end of the bed comforting Selene, who is crying also. Tucker stays next to his father, arm around his shoulders.

I whisper to Tucker that I will be out in the hall. He nods and thanks me. I know they need their private family time. I lean against the wall, crutches tucked under my arms still, and pull out my phone. I text Duke to let him know.

~ Tucker ~

I follow Dennis into the condo later that night. I’m kind of in shock. I mean, I was expecting…waiting for her to die. But now that she’s actually gone, I really can’t believe it. Dennis has been great. He gave me time with my family without me having to ask. He’s remain quiet, yet a solid source of comfort, even if we’re not hugging and kissing. I know he’s here. That’s exactly what I need right now.

My mother’s funeral is already pre-arranged, so my dad only has to contact the funeral director to let him know that she’s passed. The only thing that needs to be figured out is what day her viewing and funeral will be on. Since today is Saturday, it will most likely be a Tuesday night viewing and Wednesday morning funeral, with the service being at the funeral home.

My mind is in shambles, so I don’t even notice Duke until he’s wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m so so sorry about your mother, Tuck,” he says sincerely.

I slip my arms around him and clutch the back of his T-shirt. I want to say thank you but I know if I speak, I will end up falling apart again, so I just nod against him and let him hold me.

“She’s in a much better place now. No more suffering,” Duke whispers.

Damn him! He had to go and say more, didn’t he? The water works start up again and I can’t control it. Another pair of arms comes around us. Dennis tucks his face against mine and kisses me on the cheek. Thank god for these two rocks. I don’t know what I would do without their love and support.

I pull myself together and suck in a shaky breath as we separate, wiping my eyes with the hem of my T-shirt. Dennis drapes his arm across my shoulders. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

I nod. “Yeah, okay.”

After we all eat, Dennis and I retreat to our bedroom. I’m completely exhausted. We both strip down to our underwear and climb into bed. Dennis pulls me up against him, tucking me in close to his body.

“I’ve been thinking about what my mom said before she died,” I murmur, my head on his chest.

“Okay,” Dennis replies slowly.

“How did she know about us?” I ask. It’s been bothering me all day.

“Well, I had assumed that she forgot, but remember when I first met her and she had her a little freak out and I took her for a walk?”

“Yeah.”

“She asked me then if I was in love with you. I didn’t lie to her and she kinda figured it out anyway because she said she could see it when I looked at you.”

My breath catches. If she could see it, maybe my dad and brother could, too. Maybe they’re okay with it. No, if they knew, they would’ve said something to me.

“She said that your dad and Rhys might not be as accepting as she was about it. She was just happy that you were happy. She loved you no matter what, even if she didn’t know who you were toward the end,” Dennis says softly and plants a kiss on my head.

“How come you never told me?” I ask.

“At first, I didn’t have the chance because we weren’t alone. Then it just slipped my mind,” he murmurs, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

I nod, fighting back tears once again. My heart hurts. I thought I was ready for this. I thought I was ready for her to go. She wasn’t really “with us” anyway. But she’s my mom, and I love her, and I’m going to miss her something terrible.

~ Chapter Fourteen ~

~ Tucker ~

Viewings are the worst. Standing here for hours, shaking hands and hugging people, most of them I don’t even know. The sorrow, the sadness, the pity. I hate it all. But here I am, standing next to Selene in the receiving line, watching person after person say a prayer at my mother’s open casket before making their way over to us to give their condolences. My dad has been staying strong. And Rhys…well, he just looks pissed off. I know he has a bug up his ass about me not calling him as soon as mom woke for the last time. I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t for that long and he wouldn’t have made it anyway. But he’s hurting and upset and not seeing reason right now.

Dennis and Duke were one of the first ones here and they refuse to leave. I told them that they didn’t have to stick around, but they aren’t budging. Stubborn bastards. Only makes me love them more. I’d be doing the same if it were the other way around. I really wish I could give Dennis a hug and kiss right now. I really need it. Especially when Dennis looks so delicious in his suit and tie. Annnnnd, now I feel like an ass for thinking about my boyfriend like that at my mom’s viewing.

My attention is diverted when a new swarm of people comes in. After the first hour and a half, I need a freaking break. I excuse myself and head for the bathroom. It’s only a one person bathroom, so I shut myself inside and lock the door. I brace my hands on the sink and pull in a deep breath. A soft knocking on the door a minute later has me jolting in surprise.

“Be right out,” I call.

“Tuck, it’s me,” I hear Dennis’ voice say.

I unlock the door and let him into the bathroom. I shut the door behind him and lock it again. I immediately wrap myself around him and tuck my face into his neck. I breathe in his familiar scent and all is right in the world again. Dennis hugs me back and strokes the back of my head with his hand.

“You okay, babe?” he asks gently.

“Better now. I needed this,” I murmur against his neck.

“You’re doing great up there. Just one more hour then it’s over,” Dennis soothes.

“Until tomorrow.” I sigh.

“Yeah, well, expect tomorrow to be worse. Not only do you have the funeral, but the burial at the cemetery, too.”

“I know,” I groan.

I pull back from his embrace and give him a light peck on the lips.

“I better get back out there before they wonder where I am,” I say.

He nods, his green eyes taking in my face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

I crack the door and peek out to make sure no one is watching before I slip out of the door. I make my way back to my family. I take my spot just as another group of people comes in to pay their respects. Dennis returns a few minutes later, taking his time on his crutches. He sits down next to Duke in the front row of seats. I watch as Duke leans over and says something to Dennis, who has to bite back a laugh. His eyes flick to mine and he sends me a quick wink. I give him a small smile in return before having to shake someone’s hand, who is telling me how sorry they are about my mother.

~ Dennis ~

I crawl into bed after taking a shower, which is a complete pain in the ass with this cast. I have to make sure it doesn’t get wet. I was lucky enough to find a cover online just for this purpose. Only a couple more weeks, and then I should be able to get rid of this thing for good. Get back to normal.

We have an early start tomorrow. There is another viewing at 9:00 am, and then at 10:00 am is when the service starts, followed immediately by the burial at the cemetery. After the cemetery, there is a luncheon. It’s going to be a long friggin day. Tucker is out in the living room talking to Duke. Duke is going to be moving out at the end of the week. He signed the papers for his new apartment on Monday and Friday is move in day, since that’s when all of his new furniture is being delivered.

I’m out cold by the time Tucker comes to bed. I don’t even think I woke up when he climbed into bed next to me and snuggled in close. I just know that when I woke up this morning, he’s wrapped around me. He mutters incoherently as he fumbles around with the alarm clock that’s beeping away. He finally gets it to stop. He rolls onto his back and stretches, joints popping loud enough for me to hear them. He looks over at me, his blue eyes tired and sad.

I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles because I’m sure that my breath smells like shit. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be there with you all day.”

He sighs. “Yeah, I know. It’s still going to be hard.”

“Of course it is,” I agree. “But you’re strong. You can do this.”

He nods. “Thank you.”

I kiss his hand again. “Let’s get ready.”

We both climb out of bed. I put on my prosthetic and grab my crutches so I can go to the bathroom before I get dressed. Tucker goes to the kitchen in his underwear to start the coffee. After I finish going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I make my way back to the bedroom. Before I can walk into the room, Duke shuffles out of the guest room in his boxer-briefs. He looks like he’s still half asleep.

“Morning,” I say in greeting.

He just grunts before shutting himself in the bathroom. I snort and shake my head. The one thing I’ve learned since Duke has been living here is that he is NOT a morning person. At least, not until he’s had some coffee.

I dress in my second pair of black suit pants and a dark blue dress shirt with a black tie. I grab my suit jacket and make my way out into the living room. I lay my jacket over the back of the couch so it doesn’t get wrinkled before heading into the kitchen, where Tucker is drinking his cup of coffee, still in his underwear, just staring off into space.

“Hey, Tuck. You should really go and get dressed,” I say.

He starts and blinks at me. “Oh, yeah,” he mutters and sets his mug on the counter before leaving to go get dressed.

A few minutes later, both Duke and Tucker emerge from the hallway, both dressed in their suits and ready to go. We drive together in Duke’s car to the funeral home. Once there, Tucker goes off with his family while Duke and I grab seats in the front row. It’s going to be a long day, that’s for sure. I’m glad I have Duke to sit with, though. I’d hate to be sitting here by myself the whole time.

The viewing goes by fairly quickly. Then the service starts. The minister stands in front of the casket, says some prayers, and talks for a little bit. Once he’s finished, Rhys gets up to give the eulogy. He talks about what a wonderful person Sherry was, how great of a mother she was, and how loving of a wife she was. He talks about his and Tucker’s childhood, how Sherry used to let them help her make cookies, and how she used to sing to them before bed. He tells a couple of funny stories before moving on to talk about her illness. I think that if I hadn’t known firsthand what Sherry was like, I wouldn’t have been as upset. But having met Sherry, Rhys’ words brings tears to my eyes. I glance over at Tucker to see that he is full blown crying, his arm around his sobbing father’s shoulders. Rhys is also getting choked up as he continues to talk about his mother.

I hate that I can’t go over to Tucker and comfort him. It really irks me that I can’t give him what he needs. He’s my boyfriend, the love of my life, and I can’t even be by his side to hold him when he needs me the most. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. Tucker wants to wait until everything with his mother blows over before bringing our relationship up to his dad and brother, which I understand. I just pray that they take it better than he thinks they will.

~ Tucker ~

I’m standing next to my brother and dad as they lower my mother’s casket into the ground. There is a big hole in my heart right now. I’m pretty sure I’m all cried out; what’s left is nothing but hollowness. The only thing that I want to do right now is have Dennis hold me. I need his strong arms wrapped around me. I need his love. I know that he’s here, but it’s not the same. I would kill to be holding his hand right now.

My dad is a complete mess. His pain is almost palpable. I swear that I can feel it rolling off him. It hurts to see him like this. I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through right now. He’s lost his wife, his best friend, the love of
his
life. I look over at Dennis. He’s staring at the grave, tears running down his face. There is no doubt in my mind that he’s thinking about Zara right now. And shit, if anyone here knows how my dad feels right now, it’s him. Duke has his hand on Dennis’ shoulder and I’m grateful that he’s been such a good friend, not only to me, but to Dennis, too. The minister says a few more prayers and then it’s all over.

They don’t fill the grave until everyone leaves. So as everyone starts to disperse, I make my way over to Dennis and Duke. “Hey, you okay, Denny?” I ask softly.

Dennis swipes away the tears from his face and sniffs. “Yeah, sorry, this part was hard for me,” he rasps.

“Hey, no apologies. I understand,” I tell him, reaching out to squeeze his arm. I really wish that I could pull him into my arms and hug him tightly.

“How are you doing?” Dennis asks, his green eyes searching mine.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

He nods.

“Tucker!” Rhys calls.

When I turn, he’s waving at me from next to the limo.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you guys over at the luncheon.” I sigh.

Dennis and Duke both agree and I start for the limo where my dad, brother, and sister-in-law are waiting. Selene’s parents came up from Philly so that they could watch Max during everything. Rhys got lucky to have such wonderful in-laws.

The luncheon is in a private room at a nice Italian restaurant. Familiar faces surround me - my aunts, uncles, and cousins are all there along with some of my parents’ friends. A couple of my brother’s close friends have come also. The mood in the room is pretty somber, the conversations quiet. I get the chance to sit with Dennis and Duke while we eat, since my dad is occupied by his brother and sister.

Dennis, Duke, and I are sitting at a table with Rhys, Selene, and Rhys’ buddies. After we eat and the dishes are all cleared away, Dennis leans in close to me and whispers, “Care to get some fresh air?”

I sigh heavily. “Yes, please.”

Dennis and I stand. I wait as Dennis tucks his crutches under his arms then we make our way out to the front of the building. We walk down the front sidewalk a little bit so that we’re away from the doors. I turn toward him and wrap my arms around him. Dennis sighs and melts against me.

“Fuck, I needed this,” he breathes.

“Me, too,” I whisper.

Dennis leans back slightly so that he can see my eyes. His hands come up to cup my face, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks. His eyes are soft and loving. God, I could get lost in those green eyes of his. His lips lightly brush over mine and I let my eyes slip closed. I’ve missed him so much today that I don’t even care that we’re in a public place right now. I need his love and affection. It’s been a horrible day and the only thing that can make it better right now is Dennis. He presses more firmly and my breath catches. He tilts his head so that he can deepen the kiss. I grip the lapels of his suit jacket, keeping him close.

The next thing I know, Dennis is gone and when I open my eyes, my brother is shoving him away. Dennis, being on crutches, has no balance and falls back onto his ass.

“You sick fuck! What the fuck are you doing to my brother?!” Rhys screams at Dennis then starts after him like he’s going to beat the shit out of him.

Rhys grabs the front of Dennis’ shirt and socks him right in the mouth. I get to Rhys just as he cocks back his fist for another shot. I grab the back of his shirt and roughly yank him back. I spin him and shove him up against the side of the building. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I bark at him.

“What’s wrong with me?!” he blurts incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with your friend…taking advantage of you like that while you’re at your mother’s funeral?! Fucking faggot!” he practically spits at Dennis.

I’m confused for a minute but quickly realize that Rhys thinks that Dennis was the one coming onto me, and kissing me, and that the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Oh, how wrong he is. I glance at Dennis to find him getting to his feet with the help of his crutches.

“Are you okay, Denny?” I ask.

His gives me a sharp nod. The corner of his bottom lip is split and bleeding and I can tell by the fire in his eyes that he’s fucking livid. I turn back to my brother, whom I’m holding against the wall by a hand to his chest.

“What the hell is going on out here?” comes my dad’s concerned voice from my left.

“That sick son of a bitch was forcing himself on Tucker when I came out here,” Rhys shouts, pointing at Dennis.

My eyes widen at the accusation Rhys just spurted out.

“What?!” my dad booms furiously.

I shove away from Rhys and move to stand in front of Dennis. I will not have either one of them hit him again. My father stops a few feet away from me and my brother goes and stands next to him. Behind them, Duke has come out, and so have a few other people to see what the commotion is all about. Duke’s face says it all. Shit’s about to go down. Duke works his way past my dad and brother to come stand with Dennis and me.