War Torn (9 page)

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I reply.

~ Tucker ~

The next morning, after I take a shower and get dressed, I walk out into the living room where I find Duke huffing and puffing to himself as he’s making eggs and bacon. I watch him for a minute, an amused smile on my face. I’m only catching a word here and there, but I’m pretty sure he’s talking about me and Dennis.

“Hey, bud, problem?” I ask, making my way over to the coffee maker as I finish fixing my tie.

Duke shoots me a death glare. “Problem? Why would I have a problem? I’m all fucking unicorns and rainbows here, my man.”

I jerk my chin back and fight off a laugh. “Oookay.”

I grab a mug from the cabinet and move in front of the coffee maker.

“I swear to god, Tuck. If I have to listen to one more night of you and Dennis fucking, I’m going to lose my damn mind.”

I bark out a laugh as I pour myself a cup of the already made coffee.

“Didn’t you find an apartment yet?” I ask.

“Yes, I did, but I can’t move in right away! I need to buy furniture and shit, so I’m stuck here for at least another week or so.”

“You do have a house in Baltimore, you know.” I chuckle.

“No, fuck that, I can’t go back there. Just thinking about it makes me depressed.”

I frown. “You do know you are going to have to go and pack up all of your shit, right?”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m hiring a moving company. They go in, pack the whole place up, and then drive it up here.”

“Hmm,” I hum, impressed. I didn’t know there were companies that did that.

“Is there any way that you and Dennis can just give it a rest for a couple of days?” he pleads.

I give him an incredulous look. “Are you insane? There is no way in hell I can resist that tight ass,” I say, knowing full well what the effects on Duke will be.

Duke gags exaggeratedly a few times. I can’t help but laugh.

“I hate you. I hate you and your stupid gay dick,” he grumbles as he stabs at the scrambled eggs he’s making with the spatula.

I almost spit out the coffee that I just took a sip of with that last comment.

“Why do you have to buy new furniture? Why not use what you have?” I ask him.

“I’m starting fresh. New apartment, new furniture, new life for Duke,” he grumbles.

I nod. “I like it. Sounds like a good plan.”

“You know what a good plan would be? Keeping your dick in your pants while I’m still here. Now that’s a good plan.”

I laugh. “You do know that you giving me a hard time about this just makes me want to do it more, just to fuck with you, right?”

Duke’s hazel eyes slowly turn to stare at me. “I will stab you to death with this spatula, Tucker,” he threatens, holding up said spatula, which has egg stuck to it.

I slap a hand over my mouth to stop from bursting out laughing. How he can keep a straight face when he says things like that is beyond me.

“I need to get to work,” I choke and set my half-drunk coffee in the sink before starting for the door.

“Yeah, you better get the hell out of here, Fucker,” Duke calls after me. “I’d hate to have to kill my best friend with a spatula.”

~ Chapter Twelve ~

~ Dennis ~

Thanksgiving kind of snuck up on us. With everything that has been going on this month with Tucker’s surgery and my accident, Thanksgiving got shoved to the back of my mind. Lizette is having dinner at her and Beau’s place. She, of course, invites Tucker and me, and Duke. Duke declines the invite, saying that his mother threatened him bodily harm if he doesn’t show up there for dinner.

Tucker is staying with his dad and brother at the hospital. I offer to go with him, but he insists that they will find it weird if I’m there with them instead of my family. Because in their eyes, we’re just “friends.” And since we’re keeping our relationship from them, it’s better that I’m not there.

I’m sitting across from Lizette and adjacent to Beau, who is sitting at the head of the table. It’s just the three of us. Beau invited his mother, brother, and sister to come up, but they are kind of snowed in at the moment.

I pick at my food, not feeling very hungry. I hate that Tucker isn’t here. It doesn’t feel right celebrating one of our first major holidays as a couple, apart.

“Dennis, what’s wrong?” Lizette asks. “I didn’t make all of this food just for you to eat like a bird.”

I sigh. “I just wish Tucker was here.”

“He’s with his family, Dennis. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Everything is wrong with that. The only reason I’m not with him is because his family doesn’t know about us.”

Both Lizette and Beau give me a confused look. “Why don’t they know? You guys have been together for almost a year now,” Beau says.

“Tucker thinks his brother and father will freak out and disown him when they find out,” I answer.

“Why would he think that?” Lizette asks.

“His brother has made some comments over the years about gay people. Not so nice comments.”

“Oh,” she replies shortly.

“I’m afraid this thing with his family is going to drive a wedge between us,” I say softly, staring down at my plate.

“You guys are pretty solid. I have a hard time seeing that happening,” Beau says reassuringly.

“Just take it day by day, Den. His mother is the most important thing on his mind right now,” Lizette adds.

I nod. “I know.”

After dinner, I ask Beau to take me home. I’m really not great company right now. Lizette packs me up a bunch of leftovers and gives me a kiss before shooing me out the door. She knows me well enough to know that I just want to go home and brood by myself. Beau had to pick me up earlier, and now has to drive me home, since I don’t have a car…or a good leg to drive with. So fucking annoying. I know he doesn’t mind, but my new prosthetic just can’t come fast enough. Beau helps me bring all of the leftovers up to the condo before giving me a hug and leaving me to myself.

I’ve only had this cast on my left foot for about a week and it’s already pissing me off. The kneeling crutch is a nuisance because every time I sit down, I have to take it off and then put it back on when I stand. Pain in the ass!

I sit on the couch and turn on the TV. I’m not even watching what’s on. My mind is racing with all of the horrible scenarios that might happen when Tucker’s brother and father find out about us. Obviously, worse case is that he leaves me. I don’t know if I can handle that. He’s my forever. I can’t lose him. I just can’t.

~ Tucker ~

I still can’t believe that my mom has lasted this long. It’s been over a week since she was admitted into the hospital. And even though she’s not conscious, she’s still breathing on her own. The doctors are surprised, but are sure that she’s on her way out.

It’s a pretty shitty way to spend Thanksgiving, too. Selene brought over containers of food that she made and we are all eating out of Tupperware in my mother’s hospital room. This is not how I pictured I would spend my first Thanksgiving with Dennis.

I could tell he was upset when I told him that I didn’t want him to come with me. But I didn’t want to raise suspicions. It definitely would have been odd to my brother and dad for Dennis to be there with me. It kills me to have to hide this beautiful, loving relationship that Dennis and I have, but I just can’t chance it right now. Our family has already been semi-torn apart because of my mother’s illness. This would only serve to completely break it. I don’t think I can handle that. Especially right now.

The condo is dark when I walk in. The only light is coming from the TV. Dennis is sitting on the couch, his right leg tucked under his left, while his left foot rests on the coffee table. His eyes slowly lift to meet mine. I frown when I see how closed off he is. Usually, he shows me what he’s feeling though his eyes. But not now.

“Hey, how was dinner?” I ask as I shrug out of my coat.

He lifts one shoulder. “Fine,” he answers, his tone flat.

After hanging my coat on a hook in the entry hallway, I move to the kitchen for a beer. I could so use a beer. I grab two, open them, and make my way over to the couch, where I sit down next to Dennis and hand him one.

“Thanks,” he mumbles before taking a swig.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?” I ask, turning to stare at him after taking a sip of my beer.

He shakes his head. “Nothing good.”

“What does that mean?” I frown.

“I just have a lot of unanswered questions that I know you don’t have the answers to.”

I sigh heavily and take another sip from the bottle in my hand.

“What kind of questions?”

“Like if your family asks you to choose between them or me, who will you choose?” he whispers, turning to look at me.

My breath catches at the raw fear in his green eyes.

“Baby, you know I love you…”

“Is love enough when it comes to something like that?” he rasps harshly.

I stare at him. Is it? “I’d like to think so,” I breathe.

He shakes his head. “I don’t think it is. Not when it comes to the possibility of losing your family.”

“What are you saying? That I’d leave you?” I ask incredulously.

“I know you will,” he states, and it’s like a blow to the gut.

“Dennis,” I hiss in disbelief.

“I know you love me, Tuck. I do. And I don’t think you would intentionally want or try to hurt me. But you love your family, too. I’m just saying, if it comes down to a choice, I think you’ll chose them. That’s all I’m saying.”

I can only shake my head. He’s got my mind spinning. Would I? Would I really leave Dennis if my family made me choose? I’d like to say no, but I honestly don’t have an answer right now. I turn to stare unseeingly at the TV. I’m not in that position, so I don’t know how I would answer. I’d like to think that I’d never give Dennis up. I love him. He’s everything to me. He’s my forever. But if it costs me my dad and brother?
Fuck! I just don’t know!
I mean, if they found out and freaked, would they really expect me to dump Dennis and go back to dating women? I honestly don’t think that’s something I could do. Dennis is my life. He’s more than just my lover. He’s my best friend. I need him in my life.

Dennis’ hand covering mine pulls me out of my thoughts. When I look over at him, I’m met with his soft lips on mine.

“I will always be yours, no matter what. Understand?” Dennis murmurs, his lips brushing mine.

I nod then lean in for another kiss.

~ Dennis ~

The next morning, I get a call saying that my prosthetic has come in early. Thank fucking god! I call Lizette, who is crazy excited. She comes and picks me up to take me over to the prosthetist office so that I can try it on and hopefully leave with it.

Luck is finally on my side. The limb fits great, especially after a few tweaks. It’s incredibly comfortable and very easy to put on and take off. I leave the kneeling crutch with them and walk out with my prosthetic and regular crutches. When Lizette and I get back into the car, we look over at each other and smile. To see all of the love and adoration in her eyes, directed at me, makes my heart swell.

“Thank you, Lizzie,” I say sincerely.

She reaches over and gives my forearm a squeeze. “You’re welcome, Denny. I’m glad I was finally able to do something for you after all you’ve done for me.”

I nod. “Love you.”

“Love you, too, big brother.”

Lizette drives me home and after giving her cheek and belly a kiss, I get out and make my way into my building. As I crutch my way over to the elevators, I see Duke waiting.

“Hey!” I call out to him, unable to stop the ridiculously happy smile that’s on my face.

He turns, his eyes searching to find where the voice came from. He sees me and grins, his eyes immediately going to my right leg.

“You got it?” he asks when I stop next to him.

“Came in early,” I reply, practically giddy.

“Nice!” he says and gives me a clap on the back. “Feel better?”

“So much better.” I sigh in relief.

“Good.”

“How was your Thanksgiving?”

“Crazy as usual.” He muses.

The elevator dings and the doors slide open. We step into the box and I let Duke hit the button.

“How was yours?” he asks me.

I shrug. “Kinda sucky, actually. Tucker went with his family and I went with mine. I had hoped that we would be spending it together, but it didn’t work out that way.”

He hums in understanding.

“How’s his mom doing?”

“She’s still kickin’, surprisingly. The doctors didn’t think that she would last this long.”

“How’s Tucker holding up?”

I sigh. “He’s hanging in there, I think.”

The elevator stops and we get out. I open the door to our condo and walk in, letting Duke follow behind me and shut the door.

“I go to sign the papers on Monday for my apartment,” Duke says with a big smile.

“Nice! Congrats!”

“Yeah, I’m happy about it. It’s a nice building and it’s only a few blocks from here.”

“That’s great, Duke. How are you feeling mentally?” I ask, glancing at him over my shoulder as we make our way into the living room.

“I’m feeling better. Getting the apartment has definitely lifted some weight off my shoulders.”

“That’s good.” I nod.

Duke and I take a seat on the couch and turn on the TV. We watch a
COPS
marathon for a couple of hours until Tucker gets home from work. He looks run down and emotionally drained. He slowly shrugs out of his coat and hangs it up then unloads his pockets onto the table next to the door. He yanks at his tie as he walks into the living room. His eyes have yet to lift from the floor.

“Hey, man. You doing okay?” Duke asks in concern.

“I’m just exhausted. I think I’m gonna go right to bed,” Tucker mutters and starts down the hall toward our bedroom.

Both Duke and I frown after him.

“He really hasn’t been himself lately,” Duke murmurs.

I shake my head. “No, he hasn’t.”

“Go make sure he’s okay,” Duke urges.

I nod in agreement and make my way to our bedroom. When I walk in, Tucker is already nestled under the covers with the lights out. I quietly shut the door.

“Tucker? Don’t you want dinner?” I ask softly.

“I’m not hungry,” his muffled voice replies.

I go over to the bed and set my crutches against the nightstand before climbing onto the bed. Tucker is lying on his stomach, the covers pulled up to his chin. I lie down next to him on my side. His face is turned away from me. I reach over and lightly run my fingers through the hair on the side of his head.

“Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?” I ask gently.

“I just…I just want to be alone,” he whispers.

“Okay.” I frown.

I kiss his cheek then make my way out of the room.

Duke looks at me when I emerge from the hallway. “I thought for sure you two would end up fucking.” He snorts.

I shrug. “He said he wants to be alone.”

Duke blinks. “Really?”

I nod.

“That’s so odd for Tucker,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Has he gone back to see his therapist yet?”

I nod again. “He just went the other day.”

Duke shakes his head and sighs. Yeah, I totally understand. Tucker isn’t acting like himself, but I can’t blame him really. He’s under a lot of stress right now. If he wants to be alone, then I will leave him alone, even if I hate it. Because what I really want to do, is gather him up in my arms and hold him. I didn't even get to tell him about my prosthetic. Not like he would have seen it because he didn't really look at me, but it would have been nice to be able to share some of my excitement with him. It wasn't the right time, though.