Watch Me Walk Away (11 page)

“You know I have a really good memory so it may take me fifty or sixty to forget.”

“I am sure you will be telling our grandkids about it over the dinner table.”

“Wait grandkids? I think we need to have sex first before you start talking about grandkids.” I laugh again.

“Should I fly back tonight to get right on that?”

“Nooo! You have to take care of your business. I was remembering our old nighttime conversations earlier,” my voice drops to almost a whisper.

He groans, “God woman your killing me now. I am going to have to take a cold shower just from that one statement. And if you keep talking to me in that voice I will go right to the airport and get on my plane, fuck the business.”

“You can’t do that. Your business is important and I am not going to see you again until I’ve broken up with Stuart. I think he knows it’s coming. When I was talking to him he seemed to realize I am pulling away.” Do I sound reluctant?

“You almost sound like you don’t want to break up with him.”

“It’s not that, I just don’t like hurting him. I’ve known him for a while now and he is the one who introduced me to my current boss. I just feel bad about it. He is a nice guy and I sort of feel like I used him. Does that make sense?” I ask.

“Yes it makes sense but I can’t feel bad for him when I will be getting what I want. You said before that you were planning on breaking up with him anyway. I don’t really get why you are waiting but that is your decision and I told you, you call the shots,” he says.

“He spent a lot of money on the tickets for the fundraiser and I know he wants to impress his boss so it is the least I can do to go with him. It is only one night and then I will tell him and be done with it. I am just glad that he didn’t move his account with me because that would be really awkward.”

“Well if he is smart he will give you the chance at it once he gets over it. You’re really good at what you do and he would be a fool not to play the sympathy card to get you to take it on again.” That makes me pause.

“How do you know I’m good at my job? And do you really think I will want to work with him afterwards?” I ask.

“You wouldn’t have gotten your job if you weren’t brilliant. And remember I was there when he said his sales have dropped since you have been off the account. His boss will start to notice if he hasn’t already and will want to get you back. And he won’t give a shit if Stuart is hurting from a breakup. He’ll tell him to suck it up for the good of the company and if Stuart is as ambitious as you say he will go along,” he says.

“Enough about Stuart. How was your flight? I wasn’t expecting you to call this early, I haven’t even had a chance to eat yet,” I tell him.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier? You should eat something then call me back. I am just hanging out in my room tonight anyway. It’s after nine there you need to eat.” He is getting agitated.

“It’s okay I will just take you with me to the kitchen and grab something out of the fridge. I’m not really hungry I just need something to munch on.” I get up and start to walk out my door.

“You need to be off your feet too. Your ankle will not get better if you keep walking on it.” Now he is starting to sound like a mother hen.

“And how do you expect me to eat if I don’t go into the kitchen to get food?” I laugh at him. “I am perfectly fine, it hardly hurts anymore. I didn’t even think about it until you brought it up.”

I get to the kitchen and open the fridge. I see left over chicken and rice which I take out and pop in the microwave. “Dinner will be ready in two minutes then I will sit at the table and you can listen to me eat okay?”

“And what will I be listening to you eat?” he laughs.

“Chicken and rice that is left over from last week. It’s quick.” The microwave beeps and I take it to the table grabbing a fork and knife on my way to the table.

“Well I will call you back in half an hour. I have to go to the bathroom anyway and I don’t want you listening to me in there.” I laugh.

“Ok I will talk to you in half an hour. I will be waiting.” I smile.

“I will miss you,” he says and then hangs up.

Chapter Thirteen

I didn’t get to talk to Bobby half an hour later. Brad came by with Carvel ice cream wanting to know how it went with Bobby and Stuart. I texted Bobby to tell him I would call him after Brad left. He called Brad a cock blocker. I giggled at the thought.

Brad and I sat on the couch. He had brought me my favorite marble crunch. It is hard vanilla and chocolate swirled together with the crunchies from the middle of ice cream cakes. They only make it at Carvel and Carvel is only in New York and New Jersey. I think I had a small orgasm after the first bite. I can’t believe Brad remembered my favorite flavor.

“Which one were you texting? Or should I guess? Bobby?” he sounds angry.

“Yes it was Bobby. We went out to lunch today since he is out of town for the rest of the week.” I turn so I sit facing him. “We talked for a long time and we are going to try again after I break up with Stuart.”

“Did he tell you why he broke your heart?” He is pissed. I thought we went over this yesterday and everything was okay between us.

I grab his hand. “I don’t want you worrying about me like this, Brad. I need to do this and I still want you to be my friend.”

He pulls me into his arms. “I don’t know how not to worry about you. You’re the most important person in my life. You have been since we were twelve. Do you remember that first day?”

“Of course.” We had just moved to Oakdale two weeks before school started. I walked to the bus stop that first day and I was nervous. As I got close I saw this tall blonde guy watching me walk up. As I got closer I noticed that he was cute but his eyes were sad. That look drew me to him. He was sad and I was scared we were a perfect pair. He kept looking at me then dropping his eyes away when I met them. There were two girls there who were looking me up and down the way girls will do. I found out later that the blonde was Brad’s sister Darlene and the other her best friend Linda. I hung back since they didn’t look friendly and I didn’t feel like talking anyway.

When the bus finally came the girls got on and made their way to the back of the bus. Brad gestured for me to get on next and I did. I stopped at the top of the stairs to see the layout and look for an open seat. There was one about half way down with no one in it so I headed for that one. Everyone was staring at me so I kept my head down until I got to the seat. I was surprised when he followed and sat beside me. He put his bag down between his legs then turned and introduced himself to me.

I held my hand out to him and said, “I’m Lisa. Why are you so sad?”

His face turned beet red and said, “The blonde girl is my sister, Darlene, and she makes my life miserable on a daily basis.”

I gave him a big smile and said, “I promise not to make your life miserable.”

He smiled back, “I am going to hold you to that.”

We were friends by the time we got to school and were together every day from then on. People used to think we were together, in fact some guys told me later that they didn’t ask me out because of Brad. I never questioned not being asked out. I knew I was sort of cute but never thought I was special. We went to dances together because neither of us had dates even though I know there were a quite a few girls that had crushes on him.

Things changed once Jodi and I became friends when we were fourteen I didn’t see him quite as often outside of school. But we still hung out a couple times a week. Jodi and I had decided to try our charms on the guys in the military academy in our town. We figured they were safe since they only saw girls twice a month at dances at the academy and had limited phone privileges. We would go to the dances and end up making out with one of the guys for half an hour before the dance ended and they had to get back to the barracks and we were kicked off campus. The guys had more privileges once they reached sixteen but by the time we hit high school we were over them.

Then I started dating Bobby. And Brad was pushed aside yet again. We still talked and saw each other in classes but my whole world was Bobby and I just didn’t have room for Brad. That was until Bobby left. Then Brad came back into my life and stayed close again. He would come over just to get me out of the house that summer. We would sit on the dock and I would lay my head on his shoulder and cry. He never told me I was stupid for loving Bobby he just let me pour out everything in my heart to him.

When I started dating Steve a few months later it was not as all-encompassing as with Bobby and Brad was still in the picture. He got his license over the summer and we drove to school together every day. He even picked up Jodi for me when I said I didn’t want to leave her on the bus alone. He hung out on the fringes of the theatre group I was friends with and people started including him in parties. He became pretty good friends with John which since he and Jodi were going out was a good thing. For a year and a half we were back to being best friends. It all fell apart again once we slept together. Now I don’t want to give up his friendship. I will just have to find a way to keep both men in my life this time.

Brad leaves around eleven-thirty and I remember I was supposed to call Stuart back before I can call Bobby. Maybe he will be asleep. If not I can fake a few yawns and make it a short conversation. I should just break up with him tomorrow and screw the fundraiser. Then I can move forward with Bobby but I would feel really guilty on Saturday. Ugh I am just procrastinating now. Just call the man. You never had a problem talking to him before so don’t let this be any different!

I dial his number. “Hey I thought you forgot about me.”

“No, Brad came over with ice cream and he just left.” I fake a yawn. “I am really tired now though.”

“You should stay over tomorrow that way you could avoid all the other men in your life and I would get to spend time with my girl.” He sounds happy. Why does he have to sound happy?

“I’m driving in tomorrow and I don’t want to have to pay to park overnight. Maybe later in the week when my ankle feels better.” Good excuse!

“I forgot about your ankle. Okay later in the week then. Will you at least stop by and get your bag tomorrow so I can see you for a little bit? I miss you.” If I see him I will have to break up with him.

“I will call you tomorrow from work and we’ll see okay?” Scrunching my face and biting my lip I wait for him to answer.

“Fine but I am going to see you one way or another tomorrow. I need a kiss.” He yawns this time.

“I am going to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.” I say.

“Goodnight, beautiful. I’ll dream about you.” He hangs up. Thank God.

I go into my bedroom and just start to get undressed when there is a knock on my door. Jodi comes in. “So what is up with Brad? Why was he here tonight? Don’t you have enough juggling Stuart and Bobby?”

“Brad and I are just friends and he knows everything going on with Bobby and Stuart. He told me he can handle it.” She rolls her eyes at me.

She turns to leave but stops. “You know one of these days he is going to find a girl and you are going to be jealous.” She walks out.

She is so wrong. I wish Brad would find a girl that he can love. He deserves that and maybe if Bobby and I make this work he will finally start to look and forget about me. Well hopefully not forget me but at least be able to just be my friend.

I change into a tank top and sleep shorts and get into bed with my phone. I hit Bobby’s number and it only rings once. “What took you so long?”

“Hi, handsome,” I try to calm him down. “Brad left about half an hour ago but I promised Stuart I would call him back before I went to bed then Jodi came in to talk to me. No more interruptions, I promise.”

“I’ve been sitting here thinking that you changed your mind. That Brad convinced you this wasn’t a good idea.” He really is upset. I bet he is running his hand through his hair. I want to run my hands through his hair.

“And here I am picturing myself running my hands through your hair,” I smile knowing he is speechless for a few moments.

“Damn girl, you just got me hard.” I laugh and it sounds a little evil. “You are going to kill me. You know that right?”

“I don’t want to kill you but I do want you to trust me. I told you we are going to try this and I meant it. I’m scared but want us,” I am almost whispering now.

“I’m scared too, baby. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and I don’t want to fuck up again.” Wow I can’t believe he just admitted he was scared too.

I yawn for real this time. “Sorry it’s been a long day.”

“You never have to apologize to me for being tired, baby. Why don’t you lay down and we can just talk for a few minutes before you fall asleep,” his voice is so strong and it makes me feel safe.

“I am lying down in bed. And I want you to talk to me until I fall asleep. Tell me about your boat, or the reason you’re in LA. Just talk to me.” I yawn again and he starts talking about his boat.

I don’t know how much later I hear him say, “Baby, hang up now and dream of me.” So I do.

Chapter Fourteen

The rest of the week goes by in a blur of avoiding Stuart and talking to Bobby and Brad. Stuart has to know something is up by now. Every time we talk I make up excuses not to see him. I just want to get through Saturday and break up with him.

Bobby and I are getting closer over the phone. We talk about everything that happens during our day and how we can’t wait to see each other again. My absolute favorite part of my day is eight-thirty in the morning. Bobby calls me as soon as he wakes up and I am sitting in his car surrounded by his scent. I told him that on Wednesday morning and he told me that from now on Arthur’s job included picking me up in the mornings. When I protested he said he couldn’t deny me my favorite part of the day. He also said that he hoped to change that soon. When I asked what he meant he said I would see with a devilish laugh.

Friday night Jodi and I order in Chinese and are in the middle of eating when John and Brad walk in. I realize that they are more than just my friend and Jodi’s boyfriend now a real friendship has taken root. I am glad about that because Brad never really had any close guy friends in school. I think John is good for him.