Watching Amanda (22 page)

Authors: Janelle Taylor

BOOK: Watching Amanda

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“We'll be right outside,” Amanda said.

The door closed behind her and Ethan felt sick to his stomach. Ethan had no idea if his problem with Paul was because the guy threatened him, or because he truly was a reasonable suspect.

Nothing for a year-and-a-half and then he turns up when Amanda inherits a multi-million-dollar home?

Ethan let out a deep breath. Who the hell knew?

If she was in love with Paul she wouldn't have just made love to you,
he thought, eyeing her underwear on the couch.
A woman in love with another man doesn't have sex with someone else.

Unless she didn't know how she felt. Ethan hadn't known that he was in love with Katherine, and he'd come close to cheating on her many times. He'd never had sex with another woman while he was married, but he had flirted.

He peered out the window. They were standing in front of the brownstone next door. Ethan couldn't hear them, and if he cracked the window, they'd hear him. Damn.

Paul looked like he was about to cry. He looked down at the ground a lot, then at Amanda with sad, puppy dog eyes. Was she telling him there was no chance for them? That she loved Ethan?

Where the hell had that come from? Ethan didn't even know how he felt about Amanda!

What's going on, jerko, is that you're threatened by Paul. He's the father of Amanda's child. And Amanda wants Tommy to have his father. Very rightfully so.

The sick feeling returned, and Ethan closed his eyes against it, then quickly opened them, afraid to let Amanda out of his sight for even a moment.

Finally, the door opened and Amanda came back in. Her cheeks were no longer flushed and her hair was only tousled by the light wind. She no longer looked like a woman who'd just been thoroughly made love to.

She looked sad. Confused.

Tommy began to cry and she walked past Ethan toward the stairs. “I'd better go see if I can calm him down. It's not quite time for him to wake up yet.”

“Amanda, are you all right?” Ethan asked.

She nodded. Then shook her head. “Yes ... No ... I don't know.”

“Do you want to tell me what you two talked about?”

She looked at him. “No. I mean, I do, but IâI'm pretty confused about Paul. Anyway, his timing couldn't have been worse.”

“In general or just now?”

“Both. In general because his reappearance makes him a suspect, which eats my heart out. And also now because we just shared something incredible. . .
you
just shared something incredible with me, and we got interrupted when we could have used some time alone.”

“We've got all day,” he said gently.

Relief lit her beautiful face. She nodded and headed up to Tommy.

CHAPTER 22

Ethan was as good as his word. For the rest of the afternoon, there was no notebook, no investigating, no talking about who wanted her dead, no talking. She did her time on the sofa, and Ethan sat across from her, his laptop on the coffee table in front of him, but they barely spoke. This time, though, their silence was very companionable. Comfortable. After the hour was up, she'd hopped up and collected laundry, Ethan's too, and did a few loads, glad for the mindless work.

She needed room to think, room to breathe. The problem was that Amanda couldn't think. She had no idea how she felt about anything because there was just too much going on. Paul. Ethan. The brownstone. The investigation. Her father. Her sisters....

The telephone rang, interrupting her thought. She set her clean pile of clothes on her bed and answered. It was Olivia calling from Paris!

“Amanda, I am so sorry about my mom,” Olivia said. “She just called me ranting and raving about how the lawyer is refusing to do anything about your alleged love affair with your watchdog.”

Amanda's cheeks burned. She wanted to deny there was a love affair, but she didn't want to lie to her sister. “Olivia, I can assure you that in terms of the will, there is absolutely no conflict of interest. I have followed the rules to a T. And Ethan is making sure that I do.”

“In terms of the will?” Olivia asked in a teasing tone. “So does this mean my mother was actually right? Are you and Ethan involved? Forget I asked,” Olivia added with a laugh. “That's none of my business. Look, if you two are involved, I hope you're having a great time. According to my mother, he's very good-looking.”

Amanda laughed. “How's Paris?”

“Beautiful,” Olivia said, but I'm too busy with work to really enjoy it. We just got back from an industry dinner and I'm going to crash. Again, I'm really sorry about my mother. She means wellâsometimes. She's just very nosy and very protective of me.”

Amanda smiled. “No problem. Have a good time and a safe flight home.”

They said their good-byes and Amanda hung up. She realized she was still smiling. Her sister had actually called her. They had a conversation. Chit-chatted. Just like normal sisters did.

She had to remember that no matter what happened, she'd been given a new chance to have her sisters in her life.

No matter what happened.... What was going to happen? Amanda had no idea. She was falling in love with Ethan, and yet she was drawn to Paul in a different way.

She dropped down on her bed, amazed at how clearly the thoughts had come to her. For so long now she'd been torn up, unable to process her feelings. And now, there it was. She loved Ethan Black. And her love for Paul, a love that had once been so strong, so magnetic, had turned into something else. She wasn't sure how to classify it.

Yes, she did, she realized, glancing out the window at a gray day. She was drawn to Paul because he was the father of her baby. Because it meant so much to her for Tommy to have his father in his life. In an every-day way. But she wasn't in love with Paul anymore. She was in love with Ethan. Very much so.

And where was that going to get her? she asked herself. She made such a mistake with Paul, and now she was making a mistake with Ethan. He was so closed up. And though it was heartening that he'd opened up about his past, he did so to avoid going into the parkânot because he wanted to talk with Amanda about his life. And he'd made love to her downstairs because he was sexually attracted to her and because she was very willingânot because he was in love with her.

He would do his time, fulfill his obligation to her father, and then move on.

She'd noticed that he didn't refer to what her father had done for him as saving his life. He called it a favor. Her father had told him to honor his late wife's life and memory by living with her loss every day, by feeling her absence, by knowing every single minute what he'd had yet hadn't appreciated. Ethan didn't see, didn't understand that her father had saved his life. Because he wasn't ready to see that. He wasn't ready to live as the new man he'd become. A caring man. A loving man.

She could see love in him. She could feel it when he made love to her, when he looked at her sometimes. And she could feel it in the way that he cared about her, despite what he said.

Amanda took a deep breath and glanced down at Tommy, sleeping so peacefully in his crib.

“I love you so much, Tom,” she whispered, caressing his soft cheek. “I want to do what's right for you, what's good for you. Your daddy wants to try again. He just told me. He wants a second chance for us to be the family we should have been all along. That's what he said outside. I owe you that, Tommy. I owe you what I didn't haveâwhat I wanted so much for myself, but my own father wasn't offering. Yours is. And I have no right to take that from you.”

I have no right just because I'm not in love with him anymore. Just because I'm in love with someone else.

Someone who'll be leaving as soon as his job is finished. Going hundreds of miles away and never looking back.

It was too late to check out the Fanwell's building and Ethan could not keep his mind on the investigation anyway.

It was crazy. If Amanda chose Paul, he got to go home. Back to the air and trees and water and earth and nothing else. If she chose him, he'd be unable to offer her what she wanted, what she needed.

How could Ethan be Tommy's stepfather? Ethan couldn't even look at the baby without his stomach twisting, without remembering, without knowing what he'd lost, what he'd given up, by being such a selfish prick.

I can't give you anything,
Ethan thought, feeling completely numb.
But Paul can. He can love you. And Tommy gets to have his father. And you get to be a family.

The smell of onions frying made Ethan realize how hungry he was. Amanda was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Tommy was in his playpen, playing with a shape-sorter. Ethan sat at the dining room table, his laptop in front of him. He was searching online for information on William Sedgwick, specifically for anything to do with possible other children or paternity claims made by women, but the problem was that typing William Sedgwick into a search engine brought thousands of links.

Suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass coming from downstairs and then a click. Ethan bolted out of his chair and grabbed the baseball bat he kept handy and rushed to the landing of the stairs leading to the lower level. Amanda had come out of the kitchen, a spatula in her hand. She looked terrified. He gestured at Tommy and mouthed, “Get Tommy and go out the front door!” Her expression stricken, she dropped the spatula and did as he asked, careful to close the door very gently behind her.

He stood at the top of the stairs flattened against the wall and waited.
Come on, you son of a bitch. I'm going to break your head open this time.

As the intruder arrived on the landing, tiptoeing, Ethan grabbed him around the neck and pinned him. The person went completely still, as if out of fear, and then fought wildly, kicking, clawing. But Ethan was stronger and had the intruder pinned.

He pulled off the ski mask and looked into the beligerant face of a teenager.

The kid couldn't have been more than sixteen. He looked no older than Nick Marrow and he was just as tall and scrawny. He was pale with a smattering of freckles across his nose.

“Who the hell are you?” Ethan gritted out.

“I should ask you the same question!” the kid yelled. “Let me go!” He struggled, trying to kick, but Ethan restrained him easily.

“I'm not the one who just broke in,” Ethan pointed out.

“You can't break into your own house!” the teenager shouted.

He glanced out the living room window and saw Amanda practically pressed up against the glass, Tommy hoisted in one arm.

“Look kid, I know for a fact that you don't live here.”

“But I should! This should be my house!” the boy yelled.

Ethan patted the kid down, making sure he had no weapons. He found nothing. Nothing in his back pockets, nothing in his socks. This was just a scrawny teenager, mad as hell about something. He waved Amanda back in, making sure the boy couldn't possibly escape his hold.

She hurried in, her expression full of surprise.

“You!” he said, staring at her. “I saw you in the paper! You're the one who has the house I should have gotten!”

Amanda looked at the teenager, then at Ethan. She settled Tommy in his playpen, then came closer. “Why?” she asked. “Why should this be your house. Who are you?”

“William Sedgwick is my father,” he said. “And this place shoulda gone to me!” He burst into tears then, tears streaming down his face, over his freckles. Sobs wracked his body and he crumpled to a heap on the floor as if overcome by grief.

Amanda and Ethan looked at each other, then back at the boy.

“What's your name?” Amanda asked gently.

“Kevin,” he choked out between sobs.

Kevin Fanwell, Ethan realized. This was Sally's son!

“Kevin, as far as I know, William Sedgwick only has three children, three daughters.”

“That he
acknowledged
,” Kevin spat out. “My mom died last year, and I kept waiting for William Sedgwick to come get me and admit he was my dad but he never did.” He broke down in tears again. “And then I overheard that he died.”

Ethan and Amanda just stared at each other for a moment. Amanda seemed as unsure of what to say as Ethan was. He hoped he was reading the kid right. Apparently Amanda was reading him the same way because she kneeled down next to him.

“Kevin,” she said. “Come sit in the kitchen. Let me get you something to drink. How about some chocolate milk? And then we'll talk.”

Sobbing, he let her lead him into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and slumped over, his face buried in his hands.

“Kevin, why do you think William Sedgwick is your father?” Amanda asked, stirring chocolate syrup into a glass of milk.

“I don't
think
so, I know so,” Kevin snapped.

“Why are you so sure?” Ethan asked.

“Because my fake father sucks!” Kevin said. “That's why. There's no way that jerkoff is my real dad. My mother was having a secret affair with her boss and she couldn't tell anyone, so she couldn't admit that her boss was my real father.”

“Kevin, who's your âfake father?'” Ethan asked.

“A total jerk named Scott Cutter,” the boy said. “My mom wasn't married to him. He comes to visit me like once a year if he's âon the coast.' What an asshole! He lives in California with a wife and her kids and doesn't care if I'm dead or alive.”

“Who do you live with?” Amanda asked gently.

“My aunt. My mom's sister.”

“Is she nice?” Amanda asked.

He nodded, and tears filled his eyes. “She's really nice to me, but I keep telling her that I'm not my dad's sonâI'm William Sedgwick's son. My aunt keeps telling me I'm not. But I know I am. I once came here to tell him that I'm his kid, but he said I wasn't.”

“Honey, maybe everyone's telling you the truth,” Amanda said, her voice soft. “I know that when you don't like the situation you have, you sometimes want something else to be true. But it sounds like William Sedgwick isn't your dad.”

“He is! I know it! And he was rich and important and he would have taken me all sorts of places, and we would have had box seats at the Yankees games.”

Amanda sat down next to Kevin. “Kevin, you know what? William Sedgwick might have been rich and important, but he wasn't a very good dad. He wasn't interested in being a father to me or my sisters at all. Being rich doesn't make you a good person.”

The boy stared at Amanda. “You're just saying that because you don't want to have to share him or this house. I'm hiring a lawyer. I found one in the Yellow Pages, and I'm calling him today. This place will be mine too.”

Amanda touched his arm. “Kevin. I'm not just saying that. My dad never wanted anything to do with me. Or my sisters. I only saw him once a year for a two-week vacation at his summer house. And he wasn't even there much.”

Ethan could see that the teenager had moved her. Before Amanda got too weepy over him, he had to make sure of one thing.

“Kevin, have you broken in here before?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, but the lock was changed so I had to break open the window.”

“Wait a minuteâyou had a key?” Amanda asked.

Kevin nodded. “My mom had it. I stole it and made a copy.”

Whoever had broken in the first time hadn't used a key
, though, Ethan thought. “How many other times have you broken in?”