We All Fall Down: The True Story of the 9/11 Surfer (34 page)

He realized that he owed it to his daughters, but also to himself, to overcome the issues that were plaguing him.
How can I guide them in their lives when I don’t even have my own shit together?
he thought.
How can I teach them to be happy people if I am freaking miserable most of the time?
Working with Ugo was the perfect salve for the wounds Pasquale had been nursing for so long, and, thanks to his father, he figured out that he could be the father he knew his kids deserved.

The summer of 2006 was not all work for Pasquale though. He spent as much time as he could with Louise, Hope, and Mia, cherishing every moment. He did all of the things a good father does, even if it meant being uncomfortable himself.

Near the beach house was an amusement park called Fantasy Island. It was full of all of the normal amusement park attractions; cotton candy, a Ferris Wheel, various thrill rides, and plenty of things for children to do. Louise and Pasquale took their daughters to Fantasy Island on their visit to the beach house. While there, Mia spotted something that made her eyes light up; the bumblebee ride. The ride was a lot like a carousel, except it went up in the air and then down to the ground as the riders went around the circle.

Mia was only eighteen months old, but she knew what she wanted. She had to get on one of those bumblebees! Pasquale decided that if it was what his daughter wanted, he would endure the indignity of squeezing his six-two frame into one of those little yellow and black carts with the silly faces painted on the front. So, with Mia in his arms and his knees poking into his chest, Pasquale and Mia flew with the bumblebees.

God, I look ridiculous, but if it makes her happy...
he thought as he held his little girl, all dressed in pink, right up to the bow on her head. As Pasquale held her in his arms, he knew she was having the time of her life, laughing and giggling and positively bursting with joy. He knew then that he would suffer indignities a thousand times worse if it meant he could see her smiling like she was smiling in that moment.

As Pasquale remembered all of this, the traffic began to move.
Finally!
he thought.
I am almost home!

As he drove the rest of the way (it took every ounce of resolve that he had not to push the pedal to the floor and speed the entire way), he continued to reflect on the many wonderful memories he’d already made with his children. Memories of actually getting to teach Hope to ride a bike, to see her win her first ice skate competition, of trips to the Jersey Shore, the trip he and Louise had taken to Martha’s Vineyard with Hope when she was just a baby, and even smaller memories that may not have meant much to the outside world; they all meant the world to him. There were memories of kissing his kids goodnight; memories of snow days and pancakes and dress-up and dressing up the dog and eventually the girls would play dress up with him too. Tea parties were a big thing in the Buzzelli household, and both of his daughters loved
The Phantom of the Opera
, the very opera he’d used to ask their mother to marry him so many years ago. There were trips to the zoo, and there were so many fond memories of sitting down at the dinner table with his wife, his parents, and his daughters, three generations of Buzzellis, all around one table. None of that would not have been possible, if not for an inexplicable miracle. He thought about how close he had come to missing all of that, of missing everything.

He thought about how Louise had always said that Mia was the spitting image of him, how she was already an artist who loved painting and sculpting little animals in great detail out of clay. He thought about how even now, at only six years old, she was a tremendous sketcher. She also loved to swim, and Pasquale remembered teaching her how; she just dove right in. Mia would stand on the side of the pool and call for Pasquale to catch her when she jumped, and she’d squeal with delight when her father dunked her into the water. He would hold her as she swam back to the edge, just so she could climb out and do it all over again. He loved that she never wanted him to let her go; if he tried, she would get very upset.

That is what a father does, I guess. You teach them and are there for them. You never want to let them go, but you have to so they can learn. Luckily, I have a long way to go before I have to think about letting go. God, I am so lucky to be here with them. They are so special and...What in the world?!

As he pulled onto, his street his jaw dropped. He could see his house, but it had been…transformed. All over the yard, the gutters, the deck, and even the trees, there were American flags. There were dozens of flags, from little ones stuck in the dirt to giant ones hung between the trees. There was red, white, and blue everywhere. He could not believe what he was seeing, but even more touching than the flags were the people who’d taken the time to adorn his house and yard with them. On his front lawn stood a large group of people: news reporters, neighbors, friends, and family, all gathered there, just waiting for him. As his car approached, they began to cheer and clap, and his eyes began to fill up with tears.

He pulled into the driveway and quickly tried to wipe his eyes. Pasquale saw Hope and Mia running toward the car, but they were not alone. It seemed every child who lived in the neighborhood was running toward his car along with them. When he opened the door, Brittany jumped right into his lap and started licking his face. It was as if she knew, as if she understood just how significant his return home was, especially on that day.

“Daddy we missed you!” Hope exclaimed.

“Oh, I missed you too…so much!” Pasquale said as he pulled Hope and Mia into a big bear hug. After he hugged them, he stepped out of the car and saw his wife standing in front of him with tears in her eyes.

“We couldn’t wait for you to get home! I have been standing here just waiting to see your car,” Louise said.

“I know. I could not wait to get home either,” he said as he pulled her into an embrace. He held her close and just tried to cherish the moment.

“Daddy, do you see what everyone did?” Mia asked him.

“Yes! You guys did all of this…for me?” he asked, looking around at everyone in standing and watching him.

“Yes. Everyone here did this!” Louise said. “Sam had the idea, and he and Chris got everyone together. Can you believe it, P.?”

“You guys,” he said, trying to look every one of them in the eyes at once. “I-I can’t even think of what to say...but thank you...”

As he stood, trying to find the words, Lauren handed him the bouquet of pink flowers, “Here. These are for you, Mr. Pasquale,” she said before turning and running away.

He stared at the flowers in his hand, and then looked around and tried to take it all in. He thought about the man who had murdered his friends and family, the man who had tried to murder him; that man was finally dead. It did not bring complete closure, but it definitely helped to know that he had finally paid for his crimes. He thought about the hatred he felt for those terrorists who had tried to destroy everything he held dear: his home, his country, and his way of life.

They tried to take away the things that make this country so great,
he thought.
They wanted to destroy our spirit, to take away our honor. They disrespected us and tried to take away our right to choose and control our destiny in this great country. But they can’t take that away from us. I could not control what happened to me, but I can control how I live my life going forward. I can control how I lead my life. I can control what kind of father I am, what kind of husband I am. I can be the father, the son, the husband my family deserves. And I can live a life where I help my fellow man and respect how they wish to live their lives. I can live a life that honors my family, and in doing so, honors the memory of the friends I have lost, just as I was taught to do by my father...

FROM DADDY’S LITTLE GIRLS

“I love my mom and my little sister Mia, but I feel especially glad to have my dad here with me. I wasn’t born yet, but I know my dad was working in the Twin Towers on September 11. He was trying to get out down the stairs when the building crashed down, and he fell twenty-two floors. Firefighters found him and got him home to my mom so he could be there when I was born two months later. He's the best dad! When my mom's out of town, he gives us pancakes and ice cream for breakfast! I don't know what it would be like not having him here, but I know a lot of kids weren’t as lucky.

We haven’t learned about 9/11 in school, so I shared my dad’s story with my classmates last January to help them understand what happened. We should all remember the people who suffered. If I could change the world, I'd take everybody who does bad things to others and try to make them understand that they should stop, because the world should only have peace.”
[5]

~ Hope Buzzelli, Age 10

“I love my dad because he takes me fishing and crabbing. He makes me pizza on the grill and my favorite pancakes. I love visiting my dad at his job because I like seeing him, and I miss him when he is at work.”

~ Mia Buzzelli, Age 6

[1]
American Rhetoric
, “George W. Bush: Bullhorn Address to the Ground Zero Workers.” (September 14, 2001)
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/gwbush911groundzerobullhorn.htm

[2]
The Jersey Journal
, “Father Michael Guglielmelli to Retire from St. Francis Church.” (June 26, 2012)
http://photos.nj.com/jersey-journal/2012/06/father_michael_guglielmelli_to_7.html

[4]
McPhee, Michelle,
New York Daily News
, “From Near-Death to New Hope: Survivor Rejoices in Baby Hope.”
http://articles.nydailynews.com/2001-11-30/news/18354230_1_rescued-world-trade-center-port-authority

[5]
Redbook
, “The Children of 9/11: A Legacy of Hope.”
http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/september-11-children-3