What a Wicked Earl Wants (29 page)

“You must tell him,” Lady Atherton said. “The sooner the better.”

Laura sat on a wrought-iron bench. “I’m terrified.”

Lady Atherton joined her. “You needn’t be. You’re hardly the first couple to anticipate the wedding. He can get a special license and marry you posthaste.”

Her stomach roiled. “There won’t be a wedding.”

“What? Of course there will be a wedding. You can’t have a child out of wedlock, and frankly I think it is probably the best thing for both of you,” she said. “It is high time he settled down.”

“It’s far more complicated than that.” She wished with all of her heart that it was not.

Lady Atherton sat beside her. “I don’t have to tell you the consequences of being an unwed mother. And if it ever became known, you would be giving Montclief more ammunition.”

“He will never know.” But she shivered just thinking of Montclief taking her son away.

“In a few months, it will be obvious to anyone that you’re with child,” Lady Atherton said.

“I’ve been thinking about what to do,” she said.

“Good, now tell him at the first opportunity that he’s going to be a father,” Lady Atherton said.

“You don’t understand. He has no intention of ever marrying.”

“He will adjust to the idea,” Lady Atherton said. “This is not a choice, Laura. You have to think of the child, your son, and Bellingham. He will live up to his responsibilities, and the two of you will probably end up with half a dozen brats.”

Laura shook her head. “He will believe I trapped him.”

“He will make an honest woman out of you. Quite frankly, he is responsible.”

“He is leaving for the Continent when the season ends.”

“Laura, go to him today. I daresay he will be thrilled.”

Laura bit her lip to keep from crying. He would not be thrilled.

“Now, now. I know it is a bit frightening, but everything will come out right in the end.”

Laura wished she could believe it.

“You mustn’t make yourself ill worrying over what can’t be changed. It’s not good for you or the babe.”

“I have a plan, but I need your help,” she said.

“Laura, I will do anything for you, provided it is sensible, and the only sensible thing is for you and Bellingham to marry.”

“Before my condition becomes obvious, I want to come to you in London. I cannot stay in Hampshire,” Laura said. “I will tell my family that I am spending time with you and that the two of us are helping the orphaned children. Then I will bring my own babe home and say that I took in an orphan.”

“Laura, that will never work. Your family would be suspicious, and I know you would be heartbroken if you were apart from Justin so long. He would not understand if you leave him. More important, Bellingham has a right to know.”

“I’m so vexed that I cannot even think straight,” she said. “I see now it was desperation that led me to such a foolish plan. He doesn’t want a wife or children. There is something broken in him. You were right about that, but unless he is able to face his demons, he should not marry.”

Lady Atherton squeezed her hand. “Promise me that you will tell him. It is his child, too. Will you do that?”

“Of course I will.” Her eyes welled. “I love my child, but I wish…”

“There now, all will be well. You’ll see. Sometimes the fear is much worse than anything else. Get some rest, and do not suffer in silence. I’ll stand by you no matter what comes.”

The next afternoon they all set out for a picnic. In deference to Lady Atherton’s age, Laura had ridden with her in a carriage to the folly. They had to transport the food at any rate, so she didn’t mind missing the walk.

They arrived before the men, and the servants laid out blankets and cushions.

“What?” Lady Atherton said. “Where is the table and awning?”

Laura patted her arm. “We have the trees for the awning and a blanket for a table. It will be great fun.”

Lady Atherton frowned. “I am to lower myself to the ground?”

“To the blanket, dear. May I provide assistance?”

“Absolutely not. You are with child.”

Laura put her finger to her lips. “We must be careful.”

“Humph. It would serve him right if he overheard. I daresay he would…well, never mind, it isn’t fit to speak of.” She gingerly knelt upon the blanket. “In my day, this would be considered uncivilized. I ought to have expected it from Bellingham. He comes from savages, you know.”

Laura laughed. “Yes, he claims his ancestors were marauders.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Lady Atherton said.

After the servants set out the china and silver, Laura arranged the food on the blankets. She poured a glass of lemonade for Lady Atherton and herself.

“Well, this is refreshing. I daresay I haven’t sat on the ground since I was a child,” Lady Atherton said. “Perhaps not even then.”

Laura laughed. “You were probably a hoyden.”

“I was indeed. Like you, I had brothers. Well, I do hope there’s enough food. Three grown men, your son, and one cowardly dog are about to descend on us like locusts,” Lady Atherton  said. “Are you feeling well today?”

“I was a little nauseous when I awoke, but sitting still helped.”

“I’ll instruct a servant girl to send up dry toast and tea early each morning. It helps if you keep a little something in your stomach.”

“Thank you for the advice.” Laura looked up and saw the gentlemen approaching. Harry said something to Justin. Then both of them were racing to the blanket. Justin barely beat him, and Laura clapped.

Harry put his hands on his thighs, obviously winded.

Colin and Bell strolled over to Harry.

“Looks like he’s ready for the pasture,” Bell said.

“He might live yet,” Colin said, slapping Harry on the back.

“Harry, look at the sprig,” Colin said. “He’s still dancing around ready to have a go again. Maybe you want a rematch?”

“Stubble it,” Harry said, straightening.

Laura rose from the blanket. “Lady Atherton said you would descend on the food like locusts. Will you prove her wrong?”

“Your son has already found the chicken.”

Laura’s jaw dropped as she saw Justin walking around chewing a chicken leg. “Justin, have you forgotten your manners?”

He swallowed. “I’m hungry.”

“You must wait until everyone else is seated.”

“Very well,” he grumbled.

Everyone laughed. Laura was proud of him. Her heart gladdened to see her son in such good spirits.

The men found places, and Bell sat next to Laura. She would give anything if things could be different.

He leaned down. “You seem preoccupied.”

“Forgive me. May I serve you?” she asked him.

A sultry look came into his eyes. “Absolutely.”

Oh, dear heavens. He’d made it sound as if…never mind.

Lady Atherton poured lemonade for everyone and passed the glasses around. All of the men piled food upon their plates and ate with gusto. Laura ate a bit of chicken and part of a finger sandwich and salad. Then she set her cutlery aside.

Bell looked at her plate. “You didn’t eat. You nibbled.”

She knew she had to keep her strength up, but her vexation made eating difficult.

He picked up a strawberry. “Eat it.”

When she attempted to take it, he shook his head. “Open for me.”

She bit the strawberry from the stem and ate it. He looked into her eyes, and that heady feeling rushed through her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Justin looking away. He was probably embarrassed. She lowered her lashes and picked up her fork. She moved food around on the plate to make it seem as if she were eating. When an opportunity arose, she must take Bell aside and warn him to be more cautious with the way he looked at her. Justin was observant, and Laura did not want him to be confused.

The servants packed up all of the food and the men walked down to the stream. No doubt they were making plans for an early morning fishing expedition. Lady Atherton declared that the food had made her sleepy. Laura encouraged her to take the carriage back to the house to rest.

When the men returned, Bell asked if she was ready to see the folly. She’d planned on walking with Justin, but Colin was whispering something that made Justin laugh. So she twirled her parasol and walked alongside Bell. “The fresh air is wonderful. I almost forgot what it was like while we were in London.”

“How do you like the property so far?”

How could he let it revert to the Crown? “It is beyond words, truly,” she said as they crossed over the bridge. She looked at him. “You must be very proud.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Bell pointed. “There’s the folly.”

It was a Grecian temple folly with tall columns and a rectangular roof.

When they reached it, Bell took her inside. “It’s a building that has no purpose other than to be ornamental.”

“Quite an extravagance,” she said. “But it is a lovely building and provides shade, so it is not entirely useless.”

“Unlike you, scamp,” Bell said, messing Justin’s hair.

Laura frowned. “Justin, your hair needs trimming.”

“You don’t want to look like a girl,” Harry said.

Justin chased after Harry. “I’ll get you for that,” her son called good-naturedly. Colin joined the fray and chased Justin.

Someone walked up behind her. “I could rest my chin on your head,” Bell said.

She inhaled fresh air and the subtle scent of sandalwood soap. “Why do grown men revert to boyhood when let out of doors?”

“Because we’re wild beasts underneath our civil façade,” he said.

She wondered if the child would be a boy or a girl. She turned and looked up at him. “There is something I must discuss with you soon.” As soon as she uttered the words, her mouth dried.

“What is it?” he asked.

She swallowed. “Not now. Later.”

“You leave me in suspense,” he said, gazing at her hungrily.

“We must use care around everyone else.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“At luncheon…the strawberry. Justin was watching.”

“Laura, he’s a smart boy. He knows that I have feelings for you.”

“What feelings?” she said.

He shaded his hand over his hat brim. “Must we define it? I care about you, and I think you care about me.”

“He will ask questions that I will have trouble answering.” What would she tell Justin when her condition became obvious?

“Keep it simple,” Bell said. “Tell him that you and I care about each other.”

It was simple and true, though there was nothing simple about their relationship. “For my sake, please be discreet.”

“Is this what you meant to tell me later?”

She hesitated and lost her courage. “Yes.”

“I’ll do better,” he said. “It’s just that sometimes I look at you and I’m undone.”

She looked away. When he said things like that, her heart leaped, but moments later, she would remember that it was all temporary. “Where did the others go?” she asked.

He shrugged. “They’ll be back.”

She looked at him. “You arranged it.”

“No, but my friends know that I’m fond of you.”

Fond
. It was not enough for a lifetime, but he’d been clear about the limits. Last night, she’d fantasized that she’d told him about the child. In her fantasy, he picked her up and twirled her around. In reality, he would probably be unhappy at first and then resigned. She didn’t want to ponder what would happen if he felt he must marry her out of duty.

“I had a letter this morning,” he said. “The investigator is on to something. I hope to get a specific report soon.”

“I worry that Montclief will take my son.”

“Worrying will change nothing,” Bell said. “I know it’s difficult to put it out of your mind, but the investigator is close. We will prevail.”

“And if we do not?”

He cupped her cheek. “Your son is safe here. He is no longer surly, and you need no longer worry that he will find trouble on the city streets. While he is here, I plan to show him the workings of the property. I’ll talk to him about the tenants and how to deal with those in his employ. I know that the circumstances are difficult now, but we have no choice except to be patient. For now, Laura, let it be. Otherwise you will make yourself ill with vexation. That won’t help your son.”

“I will try,” she said. “It is easier said than done.”

“I know.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up on her toes. She knew she ought to resist, but she was weak where he was concerned, and she kept remembering Lady Atherton telling her that regrets were about what one didn’t do.

He kissed her softly at first, and then with more intention. His hand slid down to her bottom, and he pressed her against him. She could feel his erection against her stomach and desire raced through her veins. In the very near future, they would part forever and probably far sooner than she wished. So she opened her lips for him because this time was all she would have with him. As their tongues tangled, she placed her hand over his heart.
I love you, but it’s not enough for both of us and my children.

T
hat evening after an excellent dinner of roast beef, Lady Atherton rose and said, “Gentlemen, enjoy your port.”

“Justin, you may come to the drawing room with us,” Laura said.

He pulled a face. “I want to stay with the men. Brutus is resting next to me.”

Bell had seen the boy feeding bits of roast beef to the dog. Brutus must be the best-fed dog in all of Britain.

Bell ruffled Justin’s hair. “You may stay, but no port for you.” He looked at Laura. “We’ll be along shortly.” He retrieved the decanter and poured for his friends.

“Can’t I at least try it?” Justin asked.

“I will pour a tiny bit in a glass for you to taste.” Bell poured a very small amount. “Sniff it first and then drink.”

Justin tasted it. “I like brandy better.”

“If that’s a request, forget it,” Bell said.

“You’ll acquire a taste for port,” Colin said.

“Not until he turns twenty-one,” Bell said.

“That’s four years,” Justin said. “That’s a long time.”

“He has no trouble with arithmetic,” Harry said.

“Unlike you, Harry, he will not always have pockets to let because he doesn’t calculate the costs until it is too late,” Colin said.

“I am always low in the water,” Harry said. “It grieves me, but fortunately I have generous friends.”

“You could marry a lady with pots of money,” Justin said.

Harry clutched his cravat and pretended to choke.

“I have to take a piss,” Colin said. “Where’s the pot?”

“Not at the table,” Bell said. “I do not eat where I piss.”

Justin burst out laughing.

“Colin, you know where the water closet is,” Bell said. “Get off your lazy arse and walk there.”

Colin grumbled and strode out of the dining room.

Bell regarded Justin. “We must talk.”

Justin narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Because you need to learn the man code.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bell saw Harry’s shoulders shaking.

“What is the man code?” Justin said, his voice full of suspicion.

“It’s what we do when ladies are not present,” Bell said. “Once they withdraw, we are free to be our normal beastly selves. Ladies, however, have tender sensibilities. They do not appreciate burping, passing wind, pissing, and all other beastly things that send them running for their smelling salts.”

Justin snorted. “I hope you did not take years to learn what I knew at age six.”

Harry laughed. “A hit, Bell. You must allow he scored a hit.”

“I get a pass because I have been a bachelor for many years and can do as I please at home.”

“But you will marry someday,” Justin said. “You need some brats to inherit, do you not?”

Bell’s stomach clenched. “For tonight, you’re the brat,” he said.

Bell invited the ladies to observe them play billiards.

Lady Atherton seemed especially thrilled. “Well, it isn’t often we ladies get to observe the gentlemen in their manly pursuits.”

Colin grinned at her. “Perhaps you wish to join us. Do you play billiards?”

“Oh, heavens, no, but I’ll take a glass of sherry.”

After Colin brought her the sherry, he pulled out a gold case and flicked it open. “Perhaps you wish to indulge in a cheroot?”

“I don’t mind if I do,” Lady Atherton said.

Laura looked at her friend in horror. “You aren’t serious?”

“At my age, I figure I might as well try a few forbidden experiences.” She winked at Colin. “Do bring a candle and light this for me.”

Bell took the cheroot out of her hand. “Not in the house.”

“Why?” Lady Atherton said.

“They stink,” Justin said.

“No wonder men like them,” Lady Atherton said.

“Justin, are you ready to try your hand at billiards?” Bell asked.

“I’ll give it a go,” he said.

Laura watched Bell instruct her son. He was so patient with Justin, and it was clear to her that Justin admired him. Tonight she felt especially emotional, which must be a consequence of her pregnancy. She set her hand on her flat belly, and then she saw Harry look away hastily. Her heart felt as if it were in her throat, but she doubted he would say anything to Andrew. Then again, it was entirely possible that she was just being overly sensitive. Harry probably had not thought twice about it.

Bell’s voice drew her attention.

“You have a good eye,” Bell said to Justin.

Her son knocked three balls into pockets.

“Glad I didn’t wager with him,” Harry said.

“You’re sadly flat,” Justin said. “You have nothing to wager with.”

“How else will I get money?” Harry said.

“Bell, show him your trick,” Colin said.

“What’s that?” Justin asked.

“Just watch,” Harry said.

Bell lined up the balls in a triangle. Set the white cue ball in place. Then he sighted the ball and thrust the cue. Every single one rolled into a pocket.

“Brilliant,” Justin said. “Show me how to do it?”

Bell looked at the clock. “It’s late. Your mother will have my head if you aren’t awake by ten for breakfast. Run along now. We’ll ride tomorrow.”

“Very well,” Justin said.

“I confess I’m weary,” Laura said.

Lady Atherton exchanged a poignant look with her. “I might as well turn in, too.”

After Justin and the ladies left, Bell said, “Let’s go outside for a cheroot. I haven’t had one in days.”

His friends followed him. He found the flint box and when he managed a flame, he lit his cheroot and his friends’ as well. The three of them blew smoke rings for a while. Bell kept thinking about what he’d said to Justin. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Colin blew out a smoke ring. “Said what?”

“That Justin was the brat tonight.”

“It was only a jest,” Harry said.

“I fear I’ve set the wrong expectations,” Bell said.

Colin ground out his cheroot. “How so?”

Bell inhaled from the cheroot and blew out a smoke ring. “I’m getting in a bit deep.”

Harry flicked an ash. “I’m unsure what you mean, but the boy is safe and happy here.”

“It’s not just the boy,” Colin said. “You’ve got cold feet. It’s understandable, but we’ve got eyes in our heads. You’re mad about Lady Chesfield, and I’m sure she feels the same.”

Bell inhaled again. “It’s not that simple.”

“Well, Montclief is a big hurdle,” Harry said. “You could eliminate it if you married her.”

Bell’s chest felt tight. “He’s the boy’s guardian. Neither Laura nor I have any blood ties with him.”

Colin scuffed his boot on the gravel path. “You have a lot of influence. I’m not saying it would be easy, but the courts can appoint Justin’s guardian. Call in your favors and get the courts to appoint you. Whatever dirt you dig up on Montclief will help, but the most damning evidence is his complete neglect these last four years.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I care about Laura and the boy, but she deserves better.”

“Devil take you,” Harry said. “You’re just reluctant to jump in the parson’s mousetrap.”

He shook his head. “You don’t understand. There are…things I’ve never reconciled.”

Colin sighed. “This is about losing your family.”

“I can’t explain,” he said.

Colin gripped his shoulder hard. “You don’t have to explain. You’re our friend.”

“Right,” Harry said. “Whatever it is doesn’t matter to us.”

His jaw worked. “Thank you.”

The next morning, Laura awoke with morning sickness. She stayed very still and nibbled on the bit of toast. She knew the consequences of her pregnancy would be terrible if Montclief ever learned of her condition. Montclief would surely take Justin, and her family would partake of her shame. She might have to leave her home and family forever to protect them.

The alternative—Bell offering to marry her—would be disastrous. No marriage should start off under those circumstances. But she didn’t know what to do.

A few minutes later, Lady Atherton stepped inside the bedchamber. “Laura, you are still abed?”

“The morning sickness is worse today.”

“Oh, dear.”

Laura gripped the sheet. “I have to conceal it from him.”

Lady Atherton shook her head slowly. “You know my opinion on all of this. What are you really afraid of?”

“That he will resent being trapped.”

“He will have to accept his responsibility.”

“That’s the problem,” Laura said. “It’s the fact that he would be forced to marry me. His resentment would come between us. I married Phillip knowing that we loved each other. Bell doesn’t love me, and he believes himself incapable of devoting himself to a family.”

“I have eyes in my head, and that man adores you. As for his issues with having a family, I cannot agree. Look how well he gets on with Justin. He’s been excellent with the boy, and I honestly believe his influence accounted for a good part of Justin’s reform.”

“Everything you say is true, but Bellingham is adamant.”

“Perhaps the reluctance is not all on his part,” Lady Atherton said.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Laura said. “I love him with all of my heart.”

“Then I will give you the same advice I gave you previously. When you are my age, you will only regret the opportunities you missed. I am not you, but I daresay if you do not confess everything—and I mean not only the child but also your love for Bellingham—then you will regret this for the rest of your life. Mark my words, for the rest of your life.”

Bellingham watched Justin fill his plate for the second time and grinned. Where did the lanky boy put it? A strange feeling entered his chest, not unpleasant at all. Then he realized it was fondness for the young man. He’d gotten in deeper than he realized, but there was no going back now. He’d set the wheels in motion, and now he must fight for the boy’s right to stay with his mother.

Justin had turned over the proverbial new leaf, and he was flourishing in the country. All of his rebelliousness had disappeared. He’d just needed guidance, but that brought to mind his promise to Laura. Bell needed to discuss Justin’s choice of friends. He had an idea of what had caused it, and he figured he ought to draw Justin out. It had been a long time since Bell had attended Eton and then Oxford, but some things never changed. Bell wanted to make sure that Justin knew how to handle bullies and have the courage to stand by his principles.

A knock sounded at Bell’s door. “Come in,” he said.

When Justin entered, Bell directed him to take a chair. “We’ll wait for your mother.”

“Lady Atherton told me Mama would be down directly.”

“Very good. I take it you’re enjoying your stay here?”

He grinned. “I’m enjoying the archery and riding. Harry and Colin are good sports.”

“They’re fine fellows, the sort you can depend upon.”

“Like you,” Justin said.

Bell gave him a wry smile, but Justin’s words troubled him. He’d been dependable, perhaps a little too much so. This summer, he’d be leaving for the Continent. He didn’t know when or even if he’d see Justin again. That was partly the reason he’d requested this meeting. He wanted to give Justin advice, but he’d felt that Laura should be present. After all, Justin was her son.

Laura appeared at the door. “It was open.”

Bell and Justin stood.

“Please, take a seat,” Bell said. “I wanted to discuss a few things with Justin, and I wanted you to be here as well, Lady Chesfield.”

He turned his attention to Justin. “It’s been a long time since I was your age, but I remember the bullying that went on in school. Someone was always the ringleader and harassed any boy who didn’t go along with the leader. In your case, I suspect it was George.”

Justin stared at the floor. “It wasn’t precisely like that when we were in school,” he said. “The older boys dunked one of my friends in the cold water. Everyone laughed. George had money and was in good with the older boys. Paul and I stuck with George so the older ones would leave us alone.”

“So you felt grateful to George.”

“Not really. I just tried to steer clear of bad situations. I figured George was a friend. I liked that he had a curricle, so he could take us places.”

“He dared you to drink and stay out all night.”

“Yes, I thought it was fun.”

“I’m glad that’s over,” Laura said. “I won’t mince words, Justin. I worried myself sick.”

“I’m sorry, Mama,” he said.

Bell folded his hands on his desk. “In four years, you’ll be the lord of your property. You’ll have to make hard decisions, and you’ll have to be fair to the tenants. I know you understand your duty, and your mother has indicated she has been managing the estate. She will share her knowledge with you, and I think it would be beneficial if you starting taking over some of the responsibilities, gradually. Don’t take on too much at first. There’s a great deal to learn, so take your time.

“But you must be observant. There are men who will try to cheat you or lie to you. What I’m saying is you need to be a leader now. You need to stand up for yourself and those who depend on you. It’s important to make sound decisions and not let others sway you. You will make mistakes, we all do, but the important thing is to find a solution. Of course, you will consult others, and you will sometimes have to make compromises. But don’t ever compromise your honor.”

“I won’t,” Justin said.

“Do you have any questions? You can ask me anything.”

His chin came up. “Is my uncle going to take me away?”

“I’m doing everything in my power to prevent it. I won’t lie to you. Your uncle is not an honorable man. The day I returned that flask to your mother, I saw the way he treated her, and I didn’t like it. No man should ever bully a woman, but he did. I know he hasn’t lived up to his responsibilities to you. None of that is your fault.”

Justin looked at his mother. “I don’t want you to be alone, Mama.”

Laura’s brows furrowed. “Try not to worry, Justin.”

“I think we all need to be mentally prepared for the best- and worst-case scenarios,” Bell said. “I have money, influence, and powerful friends, all of which I will use to stop your uncle. I will do my best to get the courts to award me legal guardianship over you. I will use evidence to make the case. It will go hard on your uncle when the courts learn that he ignored you for years. But I can’t promise that I will succeed. So we have to think about the worst-case scenario, and that is that the courts will not transfer guardianship to me.”