What Endures (18 page)

“You too,” Jason mumbled, awkwardly returning his father’s embrace.

Bruce finally released Jason and headed toward the door. “It was good to see you, Megan," he threw over his shoulder, not bothering to look at her.

“Same here,” she returned, her voice dismissive. Bruce affectionately clapped Jason on the shoulder one last time before he left. Jason stared at the closed door, not saying anything. She wondered then if coming to Harbor Bay had been the right decision after all. At least in Seattle, things were more within her control. But then, control was a relative term in all of this.

“That wasn’t uncomfortable at all was it?” she asked lightly, hoping to dispel some of the tension.

He turned, his expression serious. “No, not at all.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I should have-“

“It’s not your fault, Megan,” he cut in. “Thanks for the save there on the lunch thing.”

“Sure,” she said with a slight smile. “But I wasn’t completely lying you know. You do need to go meet some doctors.”

He smiled. “I knew it sounded just a little too convincing.”

She chuckled softly and then grew serious. “Are you O.K.? I, uh, I didn’t think your Dad would just show up here, but I guess it wasn’t entirely unexpected huh?”

He shook his head and moved away from the door. “No. I just. . .I don’t know how to. ..” He stopped abruptly and blew out a quick breath. “Do I get along with my Dad now? Are we close? Do we regularly have lunch together and hang out? What about my Mom? And my grandparents? I mean do we have regular family visits or get-togethers?”

His questions came out in a rush, as if he had been holding onto them for a while and finally just had to get them out. Her heart contracted at the look on his face. He looked so lost and confused. And she didn’t know how to help him. How was she supposed to answer those questions? The dynamics between Jason and his parents had always been insanely complex. Throw in his grandparents, plus Tyler and Marie, as well as herself, and you had a family dynamic that defied description.

“It’s, uh. . .it’s. . .” She stopped, searching for the right words.

“Complicated?” he offered.

“To say in the least.” She looked at him quizzically. “Maybe it’s easier if you tell me what you remember about your parents and grandparents.”

He shook his head, his frustration clear. “It doesn’t matter. What I remember doesn’t. . .it’s not how things are now. I remember hating Tyler and now? I actually like the guy. And I remember resenting the hell out of Marie but we clearly have a good relationship now. So what I remember doesn’t matter at all.”

“That’s not true,” she countered.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said dismissively.

“Jason. . .”

“You don’t get along with my Dad do you?” he asked abruptly.

“What? No, I mean. . .it’s. . .” She sighed. “That’s also complicated.”

“Isn’t it always?” he asked quietly, moving to pass her.

She reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him. “Hey.” He stopped but didn’t turn to look at her. “I wasn’t trying to avoid anything. It really is complicated.  I want to help you, but the only way this will really work is if you figure it out for yourself. I don't want to taint your relationship with anyone based on how I feel about them."

He didn’t say anything, nor did he move, for several moments. Then he suddenly shifted so that her hand dropped from his arm. He caught her hand in his and held it. “I’m not upset with you, Megan.” He smiled gently at her. “You know what? This has been a long and eventful day. Let’s talk about it tomorrow O.K.?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“Okay,” she murmured, keenly aware that they were still standing there, holding hands. She didn’t mind it at all. She looked down at their clasped hands and then back up at him and found him looking at her intently.

His green eyes held hers for a long beat, and suddenly, everything changed. Gone was the awkward tension, replaced by a different kind of tension. She felt herself getting lost in his eyes, and the constant admonitions from her head to be careful slowly faded into the background. What she heard was her heart’s longing, and in that instant, all she wanted was for him to kiss her. From the expression on his face, she would have guessed that he was thinking along the same lines. She watched as his eyes shifted slowly to her mouth and she involuntarily licked her lips in anticipation. She could almost feel him leaning in toward her. Could almost feel his lips upon hers and taste his kiss. . .

He did kiss her, just not where she wanted him to kiss her. She felt his lips press against her forehead. “Good night, Megan.”

It wasn’t until he was long gone that she felt herself expel the breath that she had been holding. She should have been relieved she knew, because had they acted on that moment, things would have become exponentially more complicated, but the only emotion she felt right then was disappointment.

#

Late May. . .

“Ready?” she asked with a slight smile. Jason didn't respond, continuing to stare at his childhood home. He looked like he was about to visit the dentist for a very painful procedure, without the Novocaine.

She didn’t blame him. She wasn’t all that keen about going herself but one of them had to take the first step. They couldn’t very well stay out here all night, standing by their Range Rover, and stare at Bruce Kincaid's house.

She allowed herself the briefest fantasy of driving them both away before she went over to where Jason was standing. Outwardly, he looked great. In fact, he looked gorgeous tonight in his light tan khakis and a crisp, white, cotton button-down shirt that he wore loose, with the first few buttons left open, exposing the tanned skin underneath. He had also eschewed dress shoes for casual summer sandals. The whole outfit hung on his tall, slim frame beautifully while accentuating his dark hair and light eyes to perfection.

“You know, you’re the guest of honor,” she said, keeping her voice light. Neither she nor Jason had been looking forward to this dinner, and she didn’t want to add to his stress. Nor did she want to add to her own, which was significant at that point. “People are going to notice if you don’t show up.”

He looked down at her. “We can always just make an excuse.”

“You really think we’d get away with that?”

He considered her question for a few seconds before he sighed. “No.”

She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “They’re your family, Jason. They love you. How bad could it be?” She wanted to take that question back the instant it was out of her mouth.

She was, after all, talking about the Kincaids. Three generations of them. All in one place. She knew Jason’s parents and grandparents loved him. But from her own experience, they tended to show that love in a bizarre and chaotic way. And having all of them in one place together was not a recipe for a peaceful, quiet evening. She wondered if Jason’s early memories of family gatherings were similar to her memories of the more recent ones. If so, it would certainly explain his reluctance.

“Besides, it’s your birthday,” she said with a smile. “You need to show up to collect your presents.”

His lips curled slightly. “There is that.”

She linked her arm with his companionably and gave him a gentle tug toward the house. “It’ll be. . .” She wanted to say ‘fine’ or even ‘fun’ but her gut was telling her otherwise and she just couldn’t bring herself to lie. Besides, Jason could always see through her lies. “It won’t be that bad. If it is, we’ll make an excuse and leave, O.K.?”

“An escape plan?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.

She grinned. “Something like that.”

“Sounds good,” he said, really smiling for the first time that evening.

In what had become an all-too-common occurrence in the past week, she felt her insides begin to grow very, very warm. She had thought that living with Jason would be uncomfortable and awkward, and it was. But the awkward tension wasn’t because she didn’t like being around him. In fact, it was quite the contrary. The tension between her and Jason in the house was the result of being just a little too comfortable with each other.

That made it harder and harder for her to remember to keep her distance. Because more often than not, she didn’t want to keep him at arm’s length, she wanted him closer. That first night, in the foyer, had only been the beginning of too many moments where she wanted him. Pure and simple. After his accident, her mind had been focused on first his recovery and then on her own survival. She had forgotten just how attracted she had always been to Jason.

But living with him this past week had been a stark reminder that the attraction between them was still there. That very powerful attraction that had often made it far too easy for her to lose herself. In the past, she hadn’t cared, and had even delighted in being able to lose herself so completely. But she knew that she couldn’t afford to indulge in those kinds of feelings now. It was reckless and dangerous.

But so damn tempting. 

Because each day, Jason was getting to know her, and she was getting to know him. It wouldn’t be so risky, if it wasn’t for the fact that she was enjoying it. She enjoyed discovering what was different about him now. She enjoyed their time in the house together, even enjoyed sharing memories with Jason as they came up. It should have been hard but it wasn’t. It was easy.

When they had first gotten married, it hadn’t been this easy. It took them time to get used to each other’s daily rhythms and habits. To get used to having someone around almost 24/7. But now? It was as if they had simply fallen back into old, familiar patterns. As if they hadn’t skipped a beat.

This was what she had been trying to avoid all along. They were, despite her best intentions, growing closer. She was well aware of all the dangers that came along with that. And what scared her the most was that as more time passed, the less she seemed to care about those dangers.

Jason had barely rung the bell when the door flew open and Bruce stood there, beaming at him.  “Jason!” Bruce exclaimed happily. “I was starting to wonder what was keeping you.”

“Yeah, uh, we-“

“It’s fine, son,” Bruce said, pulling Jason inside. “It’s your birthday, you get free rein.” Bruce finally looked over at her. “Megan.”

“Hi,” she said, as she forced a happy smile to her face. This was already hard enough for Jason and she had promised herself not to make things any harder for him. And to do that, she was going to have to get along with his father and the rest of his family.

“Come on! Everyone’s been waiting for you!”

Bruce ushered the both of them into the dining room, where Diana, and Jason’s grandparents, Bill and Arlene, were standing around the immaculately set table, sipping their drinks. Everyone turned and smiled at Jason as they entered. Jason looked at his family nervously.

“Jason!” Jason’s grandfather, Bill, was the first to reach him and enveloped Jason in a strong bear hug. “You’re looking good! How you feeling?”

“Uh, I’m. . .”

“Oh Jason!” Arlene hugged him as soon as Bill let him go. Jason gently bent down and returned her embrace. “It’s so good to see you. We so wanted to come out to Seattle to visit you when you had your accident but your grandpa wasn’t feeling well. His blood pressure was going up and-“

“Arlene, the boy doesn’t need to know about that!” Bill cut in. “Besides it doesn’t matter. What matters is he pulled through.”

“Jason,” Diana said quietly, moving to hug her son. “Happy Birthday.”

Jason gave his mom a tentative smile. “Thanks.”

“Hi Megan,” greeted Diana, turning to embrace her.

“Hi,” she said softly, hugging Jason’s mom. Her relationship with Diana hadn’t always been easy but it was probably her best in-law relationship. That is if you didn’t count Tyler.

“Hello Megan,” Arlene greeted with a warm smile. “It’s so nice that you and Jason decided to come back to Harbor Bay.”

She smiled. “It’s good to be back here.” And oddly, she meant it.

Bill gave her a half-smile in greeting but said nothing. She had never been able to figure Jason’s grandfather out. At times he reminded her a lot of Bruce, but she knew he genuinely cared about his wife and had accepted both Tyler and Marie without question when they had married into the family. He still maintained contact with Tyler, long after Bruce and Marie had divorced.

Bruce clapped Jason on the back and she saw him wince at the contact. “Let’s sit down and we can start dinner.” Bruce cast a quick look at Diana. “You don’t need to worry, Jase. Your Mom didn’t cook it.” Bruce chuckled affably but the joke fell flat, as no one else laughed.

“Marie graciously catered it,” Diana said, her voice completely calm but her shoulders had tensed up noticeably. “It’s her birthday gift to you.”

Jason nodded as he held out her chair for her. Once everyone had settled in, Bruce and Diana brought out large steaming platters piled with food and set them on the table. She recognized some of popular ready-to-eat dishes from
Delights
and smiled. Whatever else happened tonight, at least they were going to get a good meal out of it.

“Here you go,” said Bruce, passing Jason a serving plate. “Guest of honor.”

Jason took the plate with a wan smile. Everyone quickly followed suit and were soon busy serving themselves. Nothing but the sound of clinking china filled the room for several minutes. She noticed that Jason was eating his dinner slowly and deliberately as if he needed something, anything, to focus on.

“So, Jason, how’s the physical therapy going?” Bill asked suddenly, breaking the quiet of the meal.

Jason looked startled, but managed to recover. “Uh, it’s good.”

“Great,” Bill said, nodding. He looked around the table and stopped at his son. “What was the reason Tyler couldn’t be here again?”

“I told you, Dad,” Bruce replied, a note of impatience creeping into his voice. “He’s in L.A. Working.”

She frowned slightly. She still couldn’t quite get over the fact that Tyler actually had a relationship with Bruce these days. Granted it wasn’t much better than the relationship that Bruce had with Jason, but at least there was one. Given the history there, it was weird to imagine Bruce and Tyler speaking to each other, and about family gatherings no less.