What Happens at Christmas (5 page)

Sean was relieved that he got to keep the trousers on for a while. He was pretty sure he was sporting a semi just from that touch of Justin’s hand on his arse. This shopping trip was clearly going to be an exercise in self-control.

By the time he was instructed to change his lower half, Sean had managed to calm down enough not to embarrass himself. Once he’d tried on all possible combinations of shirts, suits, and ties, he was hot, bothered, and losing the will to live, which was a pretty effective bonerkiller.

After all that, Justin ended up deciding on the first suit but with a blue rather than a purple shirt, although he’d made Sean try on each of them three times before he made the final decision. Sean gritted his teeth and tried not to bitch. He knew he should be grateful for the help, but
seriously
? How important was it to get exactly the right shade of shirt for his skin tone? Was it really going to give him an edge in an interview?

He was grateful, though, that Justin had brought him somewhere relatively cheap. His budget was minimal, but the whole outfit didn’t set him back too badly. He still had some left to spend on party clothes, and hopefully enough for some casual stuff too.

Sean lost count of how many more shops they visited, but it felt like they’d been to every men’s clothes shop on Kensington High Street by the time Justin finally found a combination he was happy with for the party.

He’d put Sean in some slim-fitting grey trousers they’d bought in another shop, and was making him try on a few different shirts with them. The air con was turned up high in these changing rooms, and while Sean was grateful not to be hot and sweaty, he shivered as the chilly air touched his skin.

“That one’s a bit thin.” Justin grazed Sean’s tight nipple with a fingertip through the shirt, making him jerk back. “Unless we’re going for the slutty look, and we’re not.”

“Oi. Handsy.”

Justin grinned. “Better get used to it before tomorrow. Andy knows I like PDAs, so he’ll be expecting us to be a bit touchy-feely.”

The thought of being allowed to touch Justin like a boyfriend sent a thrill through Sean. He wondered what it would involve. Handholding? A few casual touches? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be enough.

He stripped out of the offending shirt. “What’s next?”

Justin handed him a dark red one instead. It had a slight sheen to it, only noticeable when it caught the light, and subtle polka dots that were part of the weave rather than in a different colour.

“It’s a bit bright, isn’t it?”

“It’s Christmassy. And you can get away with colours like that with your dark hair, especially with that tan. It’ll look good on you.”

Sean stared at his reflection for what felt like the millionth time that evening. Dark hair in need of a cut, dark eyes, stubble on his jaw. He looked like a pirate. “I like this one.”

He caught Justin’s grey gaze in the mirror where he stood behind Sean. Justin slid his hands over Sean’s shoulders, the warmth of them heating Sean’s skin even through the fabric. He frowned thoughtfully and Sean waited for the verdict.

“Yes. We have a winner.”

Sean gave a mental fist pump. Now all he needed was a decent pair of hole-free jeans and a couple of long-sleeved T-shirts.

Final destination was Gap, where somehow Justin talked Sean into trying on a pair of super skinny jeans even though there was no way Sean was going to buy them.

“I hate skinny jeans,” he grumbled as he forced his feet through the stupid tight legs and wriggled into them. “They look good on you, but I feel ridiculous in them. And they’re way too tight, and it feels weird.”

“But they make your arse look seriously good.”

Sean could see Justin’s gaze fixed on the arse in question. Then Justin’s hands were on him again, just a quick squeeze of his arse like a grocery shopper testing fruit for ripeness. Justin’s casual examination made Sean feel hot all over.

Justin peered over Sean’s shoulder to look at him in the mirror and lifted the front of his T-shirt a little. “Your junk looks good in them too.”

The wave of heat that flooded Sean centred on his groin. And oh—there definitely wasn’t enough room in these for his dick to do
that
. Okay, maybe there was, but not without it being embarrassingly obvious. He tugged his T-shirt down to hide the rapidly expanding bulge in the front of the jeans that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“I don’t care,” Sean said. “I’m going to get straight-leg ones like I always wear. These make me look like I should be in a boy band.”

“Okay.” Justin sighed, staring at Sean’s arse again, and seriously, he needed to stop. Wasn’t he still supposed to be pining over Andy? “Get them off, then. And if the straight-leg ones fit, we can go and get some food and then head home.”

“Good idea. I’m starving.”

Sean turned his back on Justin so he could hide the tent in his boxers while he dropped trou for the umpteenth time that night. But the stupid skinny jeans got stuck on his feet, and as he was trying to kick out of them, he lost his balance and stumbled back into Justin, who grabbed his hips in a way that didn’t help the whole boner situation at all.

“Whoa! Careful.”

“My feet are stuck. This is reason 265 why skinny jeans are a fucking stupid invention.” Sean sat down on the tiny little bench at the side of the cubicle and hunched over, trying to hide his lap while he started to work the stretchy denim over his too-thick socks. The jeans had turned themselves inside out on the way off and were now doing a great impression of a straightjacket for his legs.

“Let me help.” Justin dropped to his knees. He lifted Sean’s feet one at a time and eased the jeans off. “Honestly. I think you should be old enough to undress yourself by now.”

Although he was helping with the jeans, this whole situation was the exact opposite of helpful for Sean’s other predicament. Surely the embarrassment of having his best mate’s face a few inches away from his raging erection should have killed his arousal, but it only seemed to ramp it higher in some weird spiral of awkward, shameful hotness. Any minute now, Justin was going to notice. How could he not?

Justin peeled off the offending denim, his attention thankfully focused on the task in hand. When he was done, he sat back on his heels and raked his gaze up Sean’s legs—and then got stuck on Sean’s crotch. His eyes widened, and Sean watched a pink flush creep over Justin’s cheeks as his lips softened into an O of surprise.

Justin seemed to take forever to drag his gaze from Sean’s dick to his face, and his grey eyes were darker than usual when they finally met Sean’s. But maybe it was due to the light in here. This cubicle was dimmer than some of the others they’d been in this evening.

“Sorry,” Sean muttered. “It’s nothing personal. But you keep groping me… and it’s confusing my dick.”

“You’re so easy.” Justin’s voice was teasing, but he sounded a little hoarse, and when he swallowed, the
click
of his throat was audible in the cramped space.

The moment hung there between them, thick with tension. Possibilities lurked at the edges of Sean’s consciousness, whispering what-ifs. It would be so easy to start something with Justin there between his knees, to touch his cheek, to lean forward and kiss him, to admit that his arousal
was
Justin-specific and not just about random touch.

But Justin moved before Sean had time to act on any of those impulses. He pushed himself briskly to his feet, his hands gripping Sean’s thighs for a brief moment as he used them for leverage.

“Come on, horndog. I’m starving. Let’s finish up here and then head somewhere to buy food.”

What just happened?

Justin’s head tumbled with confusion as he waited outside in the street while Sean was paying. He’d excused himself, claiming he needed a break from the crowds, but really he needed a break from Sean and the weird sexual tension between them. He didn’t think he was imagining it. Was there any way Sean might be interested in Justin like that? He’d never shown any sign of it in all the years they’d been friends. But then, he’d kept his sexuality locked down tight for so long, who knew what other secrets he might have hidden?

If Sean fancied Justin, though, surely he would have said something or made a move once he was out? But when Justin thought about it, he realised that he’d almost always been in a relationship with someone else. This was the first time he’d been completely unattached since Sean had come out, apart from before he started seeing Andy, and he’d only been single for a few weeks then….

No
.

Justin shook his head to clear his thoughts and stop his stupid imagination taking flight. There was no way Sean could feel the same. An embarrassing erection was hardly a declaration of love. Sean probably hadn’t got laid in a while, and Justin had been pretty handsy—he couldn’t help himself. It didn’t mean anything.

“Hi.”

Lost in his thoughts, Justin hadn’t noticed Sean emerge from the shop. Laden down with carrier bags, he grinned at Justin, but there was uncertainty there and he still looked sheepish.

“Hey. What do you want to do for dinner? We could cook back at mine, but it’s pretty late already. Would you rather eat out?”

A little crease appeared between Sean’s brows as he considered this. Then he said, “I think I’m done with the crowds. How about we grab a takeaway from M&S and heat it up at your place.”

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

The awkwardness between them eased as they wandered the aisles, debating what food to get. Justin wanted Chinese, but Sean said he couldn’t face another noodle for at least a month. So they ended up getting pizzas instead, with garlic bread because Justin said Sean needed feeding up, and salad because Justin was—according to Sean—a weird health freak.

“The tomato sauce on the pizza doesn’t count as one of your five a day,” Justin insisted.

“Well it should, and it’s got mushrooms on it too.”

“There’s about one mushroom on the whole damn pizza. That doesn’t count either.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay. Get the salad. But I hate eating salad in winter. It’s too cold.”

Justin chuckled. “We sound like an old married couple. I think we’re taking this pretend relationship thing a little far, bickering over our grocery shopping.”

Sean smiled, and the warmth in it made Justin’s stomach flip. “More practice for tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Nothing like a good domestic to make us look authentic.” Justin picked up the bag of salad and put it in the basket he held over one arm. Feeling bold, he took Sean’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Is this okay?”

Sean licked his lips and then nodded, a brief jerk of his head. “Sure. I need to get used to touching you before tomorrow, otherwise I’ll forget I’m allowed.” His palm was warm and his fingers strong when he squeezed Justin’s.

The weirdest thing was how it didn’t feel weird at all.

Sean kept hold of Justin’s hand all the way to the checkout, only letting go when they needed to load their shopping onto the belt.

They didn’t hold hands in the street, but they walked close, elbows bumping. Then, on the Tube, they sat with their thighs pressed together. Normally Justin would have tried to put a little space between them, but today he didn’t bother. He let himself enjoy the feeling of Sean’s leg next to his own and allowed his imagination to run away with a little fantasy about them really being a couple. They were heading home to the flat they shared, ready to eat dinner and then make out on the sofa—

“Isn’t this your stop?” Sean nudged Justin and ripped him abruptly from thoughts of being back on his knees in front of Sean again, like earlier but with fewer clothes and more blowjobs.

“Oh bollocks, yes.”

They made it off the train just in time.

CHAPTER FIVE

“Hurry up!” Justin banged on the door of his bathroom. They were getting ready to go out to the party and Sean had been in there for ages. “What the fuck are you doing in there? Oh my God. I bet you’re wanking in the shower. If you use all the hot water, I’m gonna kill you.”

He paced around his bedroom as he waited for Sean to get the hell out so he could have his turn in the bathroom. He’d already laid his clothes out. There was nothing else he could do until he’d showered and washed his hair, and he was way too jittery to sit and chill. The thought of seeing Andy with his new bloke was making him nauseous. Even if he didn’t want Andy back, Justin wasn’t looking forward to coming face-to-face with his replacement. What did this new guy have that Justin didn’t, other than novelty value? Maybe that was all it was. But deep down, Justin couldn’t help feeling that he must have done something wrong. Maybe he wasn’t good enough in bed, or attractive enough, or interesting enough. He sighed and went to hammer on the door again.

“Come
on
, Sean.” At least the water had stopped.

The door opened, and Sean stood there with a towel around his waist, dark hair dripping onto his shoulders. “I still need to brush my teeth, but you can get in the shower if you want.”

Justin pushed past him. “I want. We need to leave in forty minutes, and it takes me ages to get my hair right.”

He stripped off his clothes, grateful that the air in the bathroom was warm and humid already. Sean was at the sink with his back to Justin, and the mirror was too fogged up for Sean to be able to see a reflection. Justin was glad—he’d always felt skinny and pale next to Sean, and with Sean’s current tan, the contrast was even worse than usual. He got into the tub and pulled the shower curtain around him before turning on the water.

He heard Sean say something, but his words were lost against the sound of the shower.

“Huh?” Justin poked his head back through the curtain, to be faced with Sean’s bare arse. Sean was using his towel to dry his hair and bending forward as he did it. “Wow. Nice view.”

Justin was teasing, but it was true. This angle didn’t leave a lot to the imagination. Sean’s crack, dusted with dark, soft-looking hairs, led down to his taint, and Justin caught a glimpse of Sean’s balls between his legs before he stood up so fast he almost cracked his head on the sink.