What If I'm Pregnant...? (9 page)

“Ah, an eleven-year-old boy knows no fear when it comes to matters of the heart.” He leaned back in the chair, enjoying the look of expectancy on Colette's face. “That afternoon Jenny showed up with several of her girlfriends, and we all went out to the pasture where the bull was kept.”

“Did you have a red cape?”

“Nope…my father's red long underwear.” He was rewarded by her laughter, and his desire for her once again flared to the surface. “Anyway, I got out in the pasture, with Jenny and her friends hanging on the fence, and I waved that underwear at that snorting mass of rage and muscle.”

“And what happened?” she asked, leaning forward slightly, all self-consciousness gone.

“That bull charged me and I turned tail and ran, but I couldn't outrun him and somehow he got his horns in the seat of my pants and ripped them right off me. There I was, buck naked in front of the love of my life.”

Colette clapped a hand over her mouth, but a giggle escaped her. “You're making that up,” she accused.

He held up his hand. “Boy Scout's honor. Not only did I suffer complete and total humiliation in front of the girl I loved, but my dad grounded me for two weeks, told me he couldn't believe he'd raised a son dumber than a post.”

They were still laughing a moment later when Gina arrived home. She paused in the doorway of the kitchen. “Looks like the two of you are having fun,” she exclaimed.

“Your brother has been telling me about his bull-fighting days,” Colette said.

Gina rolled her eyes and joined them at the table. “I've heard that story a hundred times. Jenny is a hairdresser in Foxrun's only beauty shop, and she loves to tell it to her customers.”

Tanner leaned back in his chair once again, noticing that now that Gina had arrived home, Colette seemed more relaxed and less on edge. “It would have never worked between Jenny and me,” he said. “I could never be happy with a woman who took pleasure in telling others about my humiliation.”

“How was your evening?” Colette asked Gina.

Gina smiled, her eyes lighting with obvious pleasure. “It was wonderful. Danny's father is funny, and his mother is so warm and loving. His brothers and sisters are a hoot, and dinner was a wonderful, chaotic madhouse.”

As Tanner listened to Gina enthusiastically sharing the events of her evening with Danny's family, he couldn't help but grieve over the fact that he hadn't been able to provide her with the same kind of family background.

“They're a wonderful family,” Gina said. “And it's obvious they all love each other very much.”

“I'm glad you had a good time,” Tanner said, shoving aside the guilt he felt over something he'd had no control over.

“So, what did you two do this evening?” she asked.

Instantly Colette's cheeks brightened with guilty color. “Nothing,” she said forcefully. “I mean, we ate at Antonio's, then came here and had coffee.”

Gina looked at her for a long moment, then turned and looked at her brother suspiciously. “So, was it good?”

“Was what good?” Colette asked, her voice a full octave higher as the color in her cheeks deepened. She looks guilty as hell, Tanner thought with an indulgent amusement.

“The food at Antonio's,” Gina replied, then shook her head. “What did you think I was talking about?”

“I don't know…I think I'm overtired,” Colette replied. “And the food was wonderful.” She stood and carried her coffee cup and saucer to the sink. “And now I think I'm going to call it a night. Thank you, Tanner, for a lovely dinner.”

“Trust me, the pleasure was all mine,” he replied, and was rewarded with a new blush stealing over her features. She murmured a good-night and left the kitchen.

Instantly Tanner was granted a mental image of her sliding between her sheets, her naked body gleaming in the moonlight.

He shook his head to dispel the vision and tried to focus on Gina, who was talking about her evening once again, her face glowing with her joy.

For the first time since he'd arrived in Kansas City, he wondered if he was doing the right thing in trying to get Gina to return to the ranch.

Of course you are, a small voice scoffed inside his head. Leaving Gina here didn't necessarily mean she could claim Danny's family as her own. Besides, he didn't want her doing that. She was far too young to tie herself down to any one man. She needed to be back at the ranch to finish her education. She needed to be back at the ranch with him.

As he once again thought of Colette, he realized that for the past couple of days he'd lost his focus. He'd somehow become involved in Colette instead of Gina. He'd been in Kansas City for an entire week and was no closer to getting Gina to come home.

He'd been distracted by Colette's flashing dimple, her sexy curves and her melodic laughter. But it was time for him to get back to the ranch, time to put Colette's charms behind him and focus on his reason for being in Kansas City.

C
olette couldn't remember the last time she'd been so mortified. But along with her embarrassment was an intense relief that at least one of them had shown some sense.

Tanner had been right. If they had made love she would have regretted it immediately afterward. Still, as she snuggled into her bed, her body still tingled and felt overly warm from his caresses. Her mouth still hungered for his.

He would have been a wonderful lover. She was certain about that. He would have swept her completely out of this world with his passion and tenderness.

However, if that had happened, it would only have made it more difficult to tell him goodbye. And even
tually she would have to tell him goodbye. He had a life of his own, and his reasons for being in Kansas City had nothing to do with her.

Besides, she had no intention of becoming weak and dependent on any man. She had no intention of falling in love…ever.

She rolled over on her back and placed her hand on her tummy. Here was another reason not to make love with Tanner. If they had made love, and if she wasn't pregnant now, she could have gotten pregnant by Tanner.

She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what Tanner's and her child would look like. Her mind filled with a vision of a little boy and a little girl with dark hair and big brown eyes.

They would be beautiful children, and Tanner would make a wonderful father. She'd seen his love for Gina and knew his heart would embrace his children. But she wasn't the woman to give him those children, and she knew without doubt that Tanner would heartily disapprove of her choice to be artificially inseminated.

She fell asleep and dreamed of Tanner and awakened the next morning with a hollow ache inside her and the knowledge that Tanner was a definite threat to her emotions. It was time she gained some distance from him.

Over the next several days she didn't have to worry about distancing herself from him. Apparently, he had
the same idea. Although she learned from Gina that she had lunch each day with her brother before coming into work, Tanner himself stayed away from the store.

Colette was kept busy. The weather was perfect and business boomed. She had planned a grand opening of sorts that Friday to show off the new kiddie area in the back of the store. Mike had promised her the work would be completed by Thursday evening, and he was as good as his promise.

It was just before seven when she closed down the shop. She'd sent Gina home earlier, wanting some time to arrange the little picnic tables and benches and set out the books and puzzles she'd bought for the children's entertainment.

She'd ordered cookies and pastries from Johnny's Café to be picked up in the morning, and a 20-percent-off-anything-in-the-store coupon had run in the local papers that day, good for the opening the next day.

There was only one thing she wanted to do before she began arranging everything for the following day. Sitting down at the register counter, she picked up the phone and punched in her mother's phone number.

She had left two messages in the past two days on Lillian's machine, telling her about the grand opening and how she would love to have her mother attend. So far, she hadn't heard from Lillian.

She sat up straighter as she heard her mother answer. “Lillian,” she said in greeting.

“Oh, it's you. I was expecting a call from Joe. We had a little tiff and he drove off a few minutes ago.”

“Are you all right?” Colette asked worriedly, knowing how her mother tended to fall apart when there was stress with the man in her life.

“I'm fine. It was just a silly little fight, and I'm sure he'll be calling or coming back any moment. Now, why are you calling?”

“Did you get my messages about my celebration at the store tomorrow?”

“Oh, yes, but honestly, Colette, why would I want to come to a celebration in a baby store?”

Because it's my store, Colette's heart cried out. Because I'm your daughter and you're proud of me. Bitter tears sprang to her eyes despite her determination not to cry. “I just thought you might like to stop by, maybe have a quick cup of coffee and a cookie with me.”

“You know that sort of thing isn't my style,” Lillian replied, then added, “but I hope you have a nice day. Oh, my other line is ringing, maybe that's Joe.”

“Then I'll just say goodbye now,” Colette said before realizing her mother had already clicked over to answer the other call.

Slowly Colette hung up the receiver and cursed herself when tears began seeping from her eyes. Why did she continue to be disappointed by Lillian? Why
did she continue to want more, need more than Lillian could give…had ever been able to give?

The tears turned to sobs, and she vowed this was the last time Lillian would ever make her cry. But this latest disappointment felt like the demise of a fantasy she'd entertained for far too long…and fantasies were always difficult to let go of.

She'd never felt so alone. She'd wanted to share her success, but she realized now she had nobody to share it with. She'd wanted her mother to see the store in full swing, filled with customers and children, but she should have known that Lillian had never much cared about what Colette was doing with her life.

A knock on the shop door shot her up to a standing position. Tanner stood outside. He waved, indicating he saw her and she hastily swiped at her tears. He was probably here to walk Gina home, not knowing that Colette had sent the young woman home early.

The smile on Tanner's face faded as she unlocked the door and opened it. “Gina isn't here,” Colette said. “I sent her home early today.”

“What's wrong?” he asked, and stepped into the shop.

“Nothing,” she denied quickly. “Nothing is wrong.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, his beautiful blue eyes filled with tenderness. “You've been crying.”

“No…I just…you know…allergies in the Mid
west.” She tried to twist away from him, but he held her shoulders tight.

“Colette.” His voice was so gentle it acted as a catalyst and more tears sprang to her eyes. “Talk to me, sweetie. What's made you so sad?”

“Please…it's nothing,” she said, and succeeded in breaking away from him.

“‘Nothing' doesn't make tears,” he replied softly. “Talk to me, honey. Tell me what's going on.” He reached for her once again, and this time she went into his embrace and hid her face in his chest.

His chambray shirt smelled of a combination of fabric softener and male and the cologne scent she'd come to identify as belonging solely to Tanner.

She drew a deep breath and fought to control the tears that seemed to have an endless supply, but she was unsuccessful.

As Tanner's arms wrapped around her and held her tight, sobs broke free once again. He patted her back, murmuring soothing words as she cried for the mother she'd never had.

It was several minutes before she finally managed to get herself under better control and stepped out of his embrace with a small embarrassed laugh.

“I'm sorry,” she exclaimed. “I don't know what's wrong with me. Normally I don't react this way.” In the back of her mind she wondered if this was the first symptom of being pregnant. She'd heard the
stories of pregnancy turning women into hormonal messes.

“React to what?” he asked gently.

“My mother,” she confessed. She took another step back from him, still embarrassed that he'd seen her in an uncharacteristically weak moment. “I don't know why I continually set myself up to be disappointed by her. You would think eventually I'd be smart and learn to accept her as she is.”

“And exactly how is she?” he asked.

Colette sank down on the stool behind the register. “Cold…uncaring, without any maternal instincts. She's a woman who should never have had a child. And my mistake is that I keep trying to make her into something she isn't, then I get disappointed.”

Tanner moved to stand on the opposite side of the counter from where she was seated. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the countertop as he gazed at her. “So what happened tonight?”

Colette shrugged. “It's so silly, really. I called and invited her to the big celebration tomorrow, but she doesn't want to come.” She looked at him. “I knew she wouldn't. I don't even know why I invited her.”

“Because there's still a little girl inside you hungry for your mother,” he said, his voice achingly gentle. “I know that hunger. My mother has been gone a long time and there are still moments when I miss her so much.”

She reached across the counter and touched his hand lightly. “I'm sorry your mother is gone.”

He smiled. “And I'm sorry your mother can't be what you need.”

“Would you like to see the new area?” Colette asked, deciding a change in topic was necessary. “Mike finished the work earlier today and I was just about to make sure everything was in order.”

“Sure,” he agreed.

Together they walked toward the back of the shop. Colette had told herself all week that she was glad he had stayed away from the shop, that it was better if they distanced themselves from each other. Now she realized how much she'd missed him.

She'd missed his sexy smile and the warmth of his impossibly blue eyes. She'd missed his conversation and the sound of his laughter.

As they reached the new play area, her heart expanded with pride. Mike had done a tremendous job. A small slide stood in one corner of the fenced section, and on the other side were two little picnic tables and benches.

“It looks like a miniature park,” Tanner said. “All that you are lacking is a couple of trees or bushes around the edges.”

She nodded. “I was going to try to pick up some potted plants this week, but I just haven't had time.”

“This was a terrific idea,” Tanner replied, his
words shooting a warmth of pride through her. “The parents who shop here are going to love it.”

“Thanks,” she replied and picked up the stack of books to distribute at the tables. He followed her example and picked up the pile of puzzles. “You don't have to do that,” she protested.

He grinned. “It's not exactly a difficult job.” He began to place the puzzles on the tables.

“Speaking of difficult jobs, how is your crusade to take Gina back to Foxrun coming along?”

His smile was instantly replaced with a frown. “I always knew Gina was stubborn, but I had no idea she could be this stubborn.”

Finished with the puzzles, he leaned against the slide and continued. “Monday at lunch I tried guilt. I told her how important her finishing her degree was to me and how Mom and Dad would have wanted her to complete her education.”

Colette finished with the books and perched on one of the small benches. “Didn't work?”

“Not by a long shot,” he replied. “Then Tuesday I ordered her back home. But she left in the middle of the meal, told me I was being mean.”

“And Wednesday at lunch?”

“Bribery.” He grinned wickedly. “Gina has always wanted a vintage Thunderbird convertible. I told her if she'd come back to the ranch and finish college, I'd buy her one.”

“Wow, that's quite a bribe,” she replied.

“Yeah, but it didn't work. She said she'd rather have her independence than a car.”

“And today?”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “She refused to have lunch with me.” Colette laughed. “Are you done for the night?” he asked. She nodded. “Come on, I'll walk you home.”

It took only minutes for her to lock up the shop and together they started back to her apartment building. As they walked, they talked, sharing thoughts about mothers and fathers and the important roles they played in children's lives.

He also talked about the ranch, and she heard the homesickness in his voice and knew it was probably only a matter of days before he would be gone.

It frightened her…the hollow ache that filled her heart as she thought of never seeing Tanner again. And it was at that moment she realized with horror that she was falling in love with him.

 

Tanner rode shotgun in the greenhouse truck, whistling beneath his breath as they headed toward Colette's shop. It was just after seven-thirty and the sun was already bright overhead, promising a beautiful day for Colette's celebration sale.

Colette. He'd tried desperately to distance himself from her after the night they'd nearly made love. Instead of spending time at her shop, he'd wandered the
city, seeing the tourist attractions. But she'd never been far from his thoughts.

His thoughts hadn't been just of how soft her skin had been, how sweet her mouth had tasted, but also of the intelligence that shone from her eyes, the quick wit that made him laugh.

She was an amazingly strong woman and yet intensely vulnerable and sensitive. Seeing her tears the night before, holding her in his arms as she'd wept about her mother, had touched him deeply. He'd wanted to find Lillian Carson and shake her until she realized what a gift she had in her daughter.

He'd awakened that morning knowing what he wanted to do for Colette and had immediately sought out a greenhouse. He'd taken a taxi to the tree nursery that one of the hotel clerks had recommended, pleased to find it open and available to make an immediate delivery.

In the bed of the truck were two potted miniature rosebushes and two small dogwood trees with glorious white blossoms.

He smiled as he imagined Colette's reaction. Surely she would be thrilled. The trees and bushes would be perfect to complete the parklike aura of her kiddy area.

“Up there on the right,” he said to the driver, a young kid who looked barely old enough to have his driver's license.

The kid, who wore a name tag that read Bobby,
pulled up at the curb in front of the Little Bit Baby Boutique. “What time does it open?” he asked, obviously noticing the darkness of the store and the Closed sign on the door.