What She Saw (39 page)

In the kitchen, he downed the drink and slowly started stripping off his clothes. He found a bin liner under the sink and dropped into it his shoes and trousers, and wondered what he could say to Sarah when she came back.

In the bathroom above the kitchen, pipes rumbled as the bath filled with hot water. His shirt and jacket, and underwear, were the last items into the bag. He pulled the drawstring and, opening the back door, tossed it out into the garden.

As he relocked the door, Sarah entered the kitchen.

‘I'm sorry for what I've put you through.'

‘The news said two lives were lost.'

‘One murder, one suicide.'

‘How many lives were saved?'

‘Including mine?'

She was drifting towards him, an almost imperceptible motion. The kitchen was dark and her face was washed with moonlight.

‘Including yours.'

‘Four.' He touched his chest and said, ‘One adult. Three children.'

‘You'll have to throw your clothes away.'

‘I knew you'd say that. I already have done.'

‘It said on the news about gunshots and an adult male' – silently, tears rolled down her face and they sank into each other – ‘I had visions. . .'

Shock caught up with him. The adrenaline that had kept him going ebbed and he felt like he was going to faint. Sarah pushed against him, propping him up between the back door and her own body. ‘What would have become of us? Did you think of Joe and me?'

‘Of course I did.'

‘But you still went in?'

‘Sarah, I was lucky tonight. Next time, if there is a next time, I won't tempt fate. I swear to you.'

She weaved her hand into his and, leading him from the kitchen to the stairs, she said softly, ‘Come on, you stupid, stupid man.'

In the warm water of the bath, he stared into space.

She massaged shampoo into his scalp. On the surface of the water, there were rainbows of petrol.

‘Three children saved?'

‘Yes, three.'

She took the shower attachment and rinsed his hair.

‘Maybe one day, someone will save Joe's life,' she observed.

‘Do you forgive me?'

‘I'm working on it. Stand up.'

He stood up and she turned on the shower.

‘Rinse yourself down.'

From the bedroom, Joe cried from his Moses basket and Sarah went to be with him.

Hot water coursed down the pathways of Rosen's body and, after a minute of showering, he was wide awake. Dry and in his dressing gown, he went into their bedroom, where Sarah was feeding Joe with a bottle. He sat beside them on the bed.

She took the bottle away and, without a word, David took his baby son and the bottle from his wife. He stared into his son's half-shut eyes. He looked up, and something had shifted in Sarah's face. She looked on her husband and son with complete love. It was the same look he returned to her.

Calm minutes passed and Joe's eyes started closing fully.

Rosen placed the bottle on the bedside table and Sarah took the baby from him. He looked at his son and was grateful to the core of his being that the three of them were together and safe behind the locked doors of their home.

Sarah lay Joe down in his basket. ‘He can sleep in here with us tonight. Just tonight, mind.' She turned off the light.

He lay down next to Sarah and she curled herself into the shape of his body. Slowly, he felt himself drifting away. Random light danced in the darkness of his mind's eye. And, between the light and dark,
Macy's face formed, her eyes open, staring directly and without any visible emotion. Then her eyes closed and her face dissolved into the dark. He felt himself sinking, the image of her face fading. Her mouth opened and her voice drifted across Rosen's unfolding consciousness.

‘I've got to go now,' she whispered.

Her face dissolved and the light died.

He felt Sarah's shape fitting into his body, two parts of the same unit. From the side of the bed, he heard Joe breathing. Rosen opened his eyes and looked over to the Moses basket. A beam of moonlight strayed through a chink in the curtains and played on his little boy's sleeping face. He reached his hand out and stroked Joe's silky hair.

You're going to be fine
, thought Rosen.
Just fine
.

As he settled back on the pillow, he slipped quickly towards sleep, and his last waking thought was amazing. Something unique and beautiful was approaching fast.

Tomorrow. An ordinary day.