What to Expect the First Year (84 page)
Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
Once your baby can sit independently, even briefly, he's ready to graduate to a back carrier. There are front carriers that switch to a back-carrying position, where baby is safely nestled against your back and shoulders, and there are frame-backpack-type carriers that typically perch baby higher up (better for viewing the world). Assuming your back's up for the heavy lifting and baby is up for the adventure, there's no reason not to use a back carrier if you'd like. Some parents
find back carriers awkward and a strain on the muscles, while others love their convenience. Some babies are thrilled by the height and the bird's-eye view a frame-backpack carrier affords, others are unnerved by the precarious perch. To find out whether a back carrier is right for you and your baby, flip your three-in-one carrier (three being front, hip, and back positions) to the back, or, if you're considering a frame backpack, take him for a test ride in a friend's or in a store floor sample before buying.
If you do use a back carrier, always be certain baby is fastened in securely. Also be aware that the position allows a baby to do a lot more behind your back than sightseeingâincluding pulling cans off the shelves in the supermarket or plucking (and then munching) leaves off shrubs and trees in the park. Keep in mind, too, that you'll have to judge distances differently when baby's in a higher backpack-type carrierâfor example, when you back into a crowded elevator or go through a low doorway.
“My baby hasn't started sitting up yet, and I'm worried that she's slow for her age.”
Far from all babies are sitting pretty by the time they've reached the 6-month markâand that's because sitting is just one of the many developmental milestones that can be mastered on a time line that has a very wide “normal” range. While the “average” baby sits unsupported somewhere around 6½ months, some very normal babies sit as early as 4 months and others as late as 9 months. Which means your little one has a long way to go before she reaches the outer limits of that normal rangeâand that you have no reason to stress yet about her lagging behind.
What can you do to speed up your sweetie's sitting schedule? Not much. Babies are programmed by genetic factors to sitâand to accomplish other major developmental skillsâat a certain age. But there are ways to avoid slowing sittingâfor instance, by providing plenty of supported sitting practice. A baby who is propped up often at an early ageâin an infant seat, a stroller, or a high chair, gets the hang of hanging out in a sitting position before she's able to support herself, and may sit sooner. On the other hand, a baby who spends a majority of her time lying on her back or in a baby carrier or sling, and is rarely propped to sit, may sit very late. In fact, babies in other cultures who are constantly worn in baby carriers often stand before they sit, so accustomed are they to the upright position. Chubbier babies may also have a harder time with sitting (it's not so easy to balance all that weightâand roly-poly babies often roll right over when they try). A larger-than-average head may also tip a baby over when she tries to sit up.
As long as you're giving your baby plenty of opportunities to practice her sitting skills, chances are she'll take her seat within the next 2 months. If she doesn't, and/or if you feel she's not on track developmentally in other ways, talk to her doctor.
“My baby now has two teeth and seems to think it's fun to use them to bite me when she's breastfeeding. How can I break her of this painful habit?”
Biting sucksâespecially when it's your nipples that are being gnawed on instead of sucked on. But babies often bite the nipples that feed them, and it's a habit that can start even before those first teeth poke through. Your little nipper's nibbling may have started when she was seeking counterpressure for teething pain. Or it could have happened inadvertentlyâshe became distracted during nursing, but didn't let go of the nipple entirely ⦠and then clamped down. Or she may have just been experimenting with her mouth. She bites, you let out a yelp, she giggles at your reaction, you giggle back, and suddenly she's discovered an entertaining new game that she can't wait to play again. Having teeth to bite with ups the anteâit's more satisfying to her, elicits more of a reaction from you. One thing that's clear is that a baby can't bite and suck at the same time, so if she's nipping at your nipples, she's not feeding anymore (and that could be why most biting happens toward the end of a nursing session).
How can you nip the nipping habit in the bud before she becomes too fond of it, and before she has enough chompers to do much damage? First, pay attention to your baby during feeding sessions and watch for signs of boredom or distraction. Either can provoke a bite, so if you see one of the warning signs, you can prevent biting before it happens. Another preventive tip: If your baby is biting at the beginning of a nursing session (less common, but it can happen when your little one is teething), offer a teething toy or cold washcloth before you latch baby on to take a bite off the pain and hopefully prevent a bite into you.
If your little one takes a nip, the best response is a firm, no-nonsense, low-drama-mama statement of the rule (“no biting” and “biting hurts Mommy”) as you remove the offending fangs from their target. Get her attention with an all-business tone, but don't yell or scream in painâand definitely don't giggle. Your baby will either find your overreaction funny (which will only bring on a repeat performance) or be scared by your outburst (which could lead to crying or even refusing to nurse). Baby won't let go? Slip your finger between baby's gums so you can pull away more gingerly. If that doesn't work, pull baby close to your breast. Your little chomper will automatically let go to open her mouth and uncover her nose to breathe. Once she's off the breast, offer her something she can bite onâa teething toy, pacifier, or something chilled, for exampleâand tell her it's okay to sink her pearly whites there. You can also try distracting her with a song, a toy, or a visit to the window to see the cars outside. Be consistent with this routine and eventually it'll sink in: Sinking your teeth into mommy isn't so much fun after all.
Thinking of moving your baby roommate out of your bedroomâso you both can get more sleep (and you can have more privacy)? While room sharing makes sense in the first months of a baby's life (and is actually recommended for safer sleep by the AAP until the risk of SIDS has subsided), three can start to feel like a crowd as the second half of the first year rolls around. It can also be more difficult to attempt sleep teaching when baby's in the same room.
Happy with your rooming-in policy, and in no hurry to send your baby packing to the nursery? Sharing a roomâor a bedâwell into childhood is convenient and enjoyable for many families. But if a family bedroom is not your long-term plan, this is probably a good time to settle your little one into a room of his or her own.
Only have one bedroomâor you have more children than bedrooms? Then continuing to room share may be your only option. If you want a separation even when you're not separated, consider a dividerâeither a screen or a heavy curtain hung from a ceiling track (it's also a good sound insulator). Or partition off a corner of the living room for the baby and do your late-night TV watching or talking in the bedroom.
If your baby will have to share with another child, how well the sleeping arrangement works out will depend on how well the two sleep. If either one or both are light sleepers with a tendency to issue wake-up calls during the night, you may all be in for a difficult period of adjustment until each has learned to sleep through the other's wakings. Again, a partition may help muffle the sounds while providing the older child with privacy.
Have reservations about eating out with your baby? Actually, the restaurant may, tooâthat is, if you don't come prepared. Before you secure a table for two and a high chair, check out these restaurant survival tips:
Call ahead.
Not just for those reservations (or to find out if the coast is clearâyou won't want to choose a restaurant with a wait), but to find out what baby supplies and accommodations are on hand. For instance, are there high chairs? Clip-on feeding chairs? Booster seats probably won't work until baby's closer to a year old. You'll probably be bringing some baby food along, but it doesn't hurt to ask if the kitchen is flexible when it comes to ordering. For instance, will they serve up pint-size portions without charging a full-size price? Will the chef tailor foods to tiny tots (mash potatoes without salt and pepper, serve fish without sauce)? Children's menus may sound like a good idea, but they are often heavy on hot dogs and other baby-unfriendly fare.
Listen carefully when you call.
Not just to the answers to your questions, but to the attitude they're served up with, which can speak volumes about how welcome you and your baby will really be.
Get an early start.
Plan to dine on baby's schedule, not yours, even if that means being the earliest birds to catch the early bird special. Another plus to early eating: The wait-staff isn't frazzled yet, the kitchen isn't fried, there are fewer diners to annoy with baby's cup banging.
Ask for a quiet table in the corner.
Not for the romance, obviously (which definitely won't be on the menu), but so that your group won't offend fellow diners or get in the way of harried wait-staff. You'll also appreciate the privacy if you'll be spending much of the meal breastfeeding.
Make it snappy.
Even four-star dining can fizzle into fast food when baby's at the table. So it makes sense to prefer quick-paced eateries, where more time can be spent eating than waiting. Order the entire meal promptly (hopefully you've scanned the menu app before sitting down), and ask that baby's food (if you've ordered for your littlest diner) be brought out as soon as possible.
Come prepared.
Gone are the days when you could leave for a restaurant with just your credit card. You'll also need to pack:
⢠A high chair cover is optional, but it will make your baby's seat at the table more comfortable, snugger, and of course, more hygienic (plus easier to clean up afterward).
⢠A bib to keep baby clean, as well as some wipes. If the restaurant is carpeted, a splat mat to spread under baby's chair will be appreciated by those who will have to pick up the mess after you're finished.
⢠Toys, books, and other diversions. Don't take them out, however, until they're needed (baby will probably be content to play with a spoon, flirt with the wait-staff, and point at the light fixtures for the first few minutes), and then bring them on one at a time. No more tricks in your bag? Try a game of peekaboo with the menu or a napkin.
⢠Jarred or pouch food, if junior's not on the table variety yet, or if you fear there won't be any baby-friendly offerings on the menu, or just to supplement what's offered.
⢠Snacks, especially finger foods that will keep those fingers (and that attention) occupied. Nibbles can also be a lifesaver when the meal takes longer than expected to arrive or when baby gets bored with table food. But hold these in reserve, too, until they're needed.
If you don't see it, ask for it.
Just because it's not on the menu doesn't mean it's not in the kitchen. Good choices, depending on what's been introduced so far, include cottage cheese, whole-wheat bread or rolls, cheese, hard-boiled egg (crumbled), hamburger (cooked through and crumbled), chicken (minced), soft fish (cooked through, flaked, and carefully screened for bones), mashed potato or sweet potato, peas or beans (mash them), soft-cooked pasta, well-cooked carrots, cauliflower, broccoli or green beans, and ripe avocado, melon, banana, and mango.
Keep baby seated.
Even if the restaurant is mostly empty, letting your baby explore the floor is never a good idea. It's dirty down thereâplus it's too easy for a waitperson to be tripped up by a baby underfoot, or for your baby to discover and mouth something unsafe or to grab on to a tablecloth.
Be sensitive to those around you.
Maybe the table next to you can't get enough of your baby's adorable antics. Or maybe it's occupied by a couple who's spending good money on a sitter to get away from their little ones for the night. Either way, be quick to exit for a stroll if baby is crying loudly, practicing those ear-piercing shrieks, or otherwise disturbing the peace of the restaurant.
Know when to call it a meal.
When baby's had his or her fill and has begun flinging what's left at the next booth, it's time to ask for the check. And consider: An extra big mess might call for an extra big tip.
“My baby's teeth are coming in crooked. Does this mean that he'll eventually need braces?”
Don't schedule that appointment with the orthodontist yet. The way those first baby teeth come in is not usually an indication of smiles to come. In fact, baby teeth often appear crooked, particularly the front bottom ones, which frequently form a V when they poke through. The top front teeth may also seem huge in comparison to those below. And in some babies, the top teeth come in before the bottom teeth, but that's also nothing to worry about.
By the time your baby reaches 2½, he'll likely be the proud owner of a full set of baby teethâ20 in all. And though they'll probably have evened out by then in proportion and formation, especially because baby's tongue is always pushing against the inside surfaces of the new teeth, helping them to grow into even rows, don't worry if they haven't. Crooked baby teeth don't predict crooked permanent teeth.
Think those adorable “ah-oh-ah”s are just baby babble? They're actually the beginnings of spoken languageâbaby's first attempts at figuring out how the other half (the adult half, that is) speaks. And it's a process that started at a month or two with baby's breathy vowel-filled coos. Keep a close listen as those vowel sounds make way to consonant-vowel sounds. When babies begin experimenting with consonants, they usually discover one or two at a time and repeat the same single combination (ba or ga or da) over and over and overâlike the cutest little broken record ever. The next week, they may move on to a new consonant-vowel combo, seeming to have forgotten the first. They haven't, but since their powers of concentration are limited, they usually work on mastering one thing at a time. They also love repetitionâafter all, practice, practice, practice is how they learn, learn, learn.
Following the two-syllable, one-consonant sounds (a-ga, a-ba, a-da) come singsong strings of consonants (da-da-da da-da-da), called “babble,” at 6 months on the average (though some babies begin babbling by 4½ months, others not until 8 months or later). Also at 8 months, many babies can produce wordlike double consonants (da-da, ma-ma, ha-ha), usually without associating any meaning with them until 2 or 3 months later. Heads-up: “da-da” typically comes before “ma-ma,” not a product of preference (try telling dad that), but a product of development (d's are easier for babies to articulate than m's). It won't be until much later, often not until 4 or 5 years of ageâoccasionally even laterâthat your little one will conquer all his or her consonants.