What To Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection Part Two (42 page)

Chase leaned forward, his eyes never leaving mine. “You may speak, Abby.”

Given permission, the words tumbled out. “Oh, please, Master…oh, god, please…take me now! Please…please…” my words trailed off into incoherent pleas, ending in what sounded like a sob. I realized I was crying, tears running down my face.

Chase stood for a moment, watching me, his look telling me everything he was going to do.

Then he was in me, thrusting hard, his suddenness taking me by surprise. I cried out…I screamed. My body was held captive by the ropes; I couldn’t push back or away, twist or thrash. I had no choice but to give up any last illusions of control I thought I had. I stopped tensing against the ropes, let my body relax, let my mind stop focusing on what I was supposed to be doing or feeling.

And when I did that, everything changed, for the better. I let Chase have complete control, let him dominate me…trusted that he would make everything right. And it put me at the center of it all. I wasn’t able to move, to actively participate in this, but all of Chase’s attention was focused on me. The rush I got from that realization that was amazing.

The touch of the ropes on my skin faded away. I stopped focusing on Chase’s cock inside me although it was the center of everything I was feeling. But it was more than that now. Something shifted in my body and while I was aware—acutely aware—of each pounding thrust into me by Chase, it was no longer just my body that was responding. My mind stopped trying to register each physical sensation, to put a name to it. I just accepted it and felt it.

And then I felt everything, not individually but as one giant sensation. I stopped feeling the ropes on the surface of my skin but felt them on some deep cellular level. That melded with the pounding and thrusting of Chase in my body. And all that suddenly changed into just wave after wave of pure pleasure, with no apparent beginning or end. My mind went blank and my body took over.

I remember hearing my name being called from a distance. Chase was asking me for a color.
A color? Um…

“Purple.” It was the color I was seeing splashed across the insides of my closed eyes.

“Abby, honey, give me a color.” It was Jake, close to my ear. I opened my eyes.

“Oh, green. Please, dear god…green.” I closed my eyes as the sensations started to fade away. I slowly came back to my body, felt the ropes biting into my skin. I realized Chase was no longer between my legs. I tried to look, to turn my head, but my body felt like someone else was controlling it and it wouldn’t respond.

There was a tugging at my arm and I realized Chase was untying me. As each limb was free, I moved it, experimentally at first, wiggling my fingers and toes, tensing and releasing my calf and thigh muscles, forearms and shoulders.

Finally they sat me up, Jake holding my arm, Chase undoing the knots with swift fingers. I closed my eyes, leaning against Jake, his solid warmth, his familiar scent in this strange place acting like an anchor for me.

When I was free of all the ropes, Jake helped me down from the table. My legs were shaky and I was starting to shiver, just as I had after my first session with Jake.

Then I was sitting in an oversized armchair, wrapped in a blanket. Jake was crouched at my feet, gently chafing my hands. He looked worried; a frown creased his forehead. I reached out and stroked his cheek.

“Hey…” my voice was a hoarse croak. I tried again. “Jake…”

“Shh…” he took my hand, kissing my fingers. “Don’t try to talk. You’re probably going to be hoarse for a while.”

Hoarse? For a while?

“What happened?”

Jake’s looked changed to one of mild surprise. “You really don’t remember, do you? Chase said you’d gone into subspace…” I shrugged, not knowing what that meant. Jake reached for a glass of juice from a nearby table and handed it to me. I drank greedily, the sharp tartness cutting through the residual fog in my mind.

“It’s hard to describe. Some people say it’s like an out-of-body type feeling, or they can’t remember what happened.” He was still holding my hand. I’d stopped shaking and now was intensely curious about what exactly had happened to me.

“What did I do? What happened to me?” Jake reached the glass, which I realized was empty.

“You went somewhere, Abby. Your body went limp, then you had some kind of huge orgasm that went on for the longest time. Chase asked you for a color, you know, green or red…and you said purple.” He smiled.

“That’s not one of the safe word colors. I panicked for a second, but then you told me green.”

I nodded. “I remember hearing your voice. That’s all.
But, my voice?
Did I make noises?”

Jake’s smile broadened. “You sure the hell did. Like none I’ve ever heard.”

I laughed. And then I yawned, suddenly exhausted.

“Can we go home?”

Jake took me to his house. I had fallen asleep in the car and woke up as he pulled up beneath the portico. On autopilot, once he’d opened my door, I headed for the tower room door. But with his arm around me he gently steered me toward the door for the house. He guided me upstairs and into a large bedroom with a king-sized bed.
Nice guest room.

He pulled back the covers, sitting me on the edge of the bed, taking off my shoes, gently undoing the zipper on my corset, kneeling in front of me briefly as he slid my skirt down my legs. I was dimly aware I was missing my stockings.

“Lay down, Abby.” I may have fallen asleep standing up. Without opening my eyes, I let Jake help me beneath the covers, pulling them up around my shoulders. I was aware of movement on the bed and then the dim light that had been the only light in the room went out.

Jake’s arms went around me, pulling me against his body. I snuggled against him, then struggled awake for a moment.

“You can sleep in your own room, Jake. You don’t have to sleep in here with me.”

There was a pause and I heard him laugh softly.

“Abby, this is my bedroom. Go to sleep.”

I woke up to bright light and a large expanse of sheet between Jake and I.
This bed is almost bigger than my apartment.

He was still sleeping, clutching a pillow to his chest. I slid across the bed, gently pulling the pillow out of his arms and replacing it with myself. Jake stirred briefly, then opened his eyes. There was a slow dreamy smile on his face. He reached out, brushing what must have been a tangled mess of hair from my forehead.

“Hey, you.” He kissed my forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Tired, still. But better…rested, I mean. My muscles feel sore, like I’ve been in the ring for ten rounds.”

He nodded, pulling me close. “I can imagine. You went through a lot last night.”

There was a moment of quiet. I could hear birds singing outside.

“Did you enjoy yourself, Abby?” His voice was light, his question innocent enough, but there was something underlying it that made me tense up.

“I think I did. It’s too soon to tell.” And it really was. There was a great deal to think about, to try to understand.

“Did you enjoy yourself, Jake?” I tried to look up at him, but he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. There was a long pause, as if he was choosing his words with care.

“Let’s say I learned a lot.” His voice was tense. I pushed away from Jake, sitting up next to him.

“What do you mean? What did you learn? This affects both of us, not just you.”

Jake looked up at me for a moment, then pushed himself up to sit next to me. He took a deep breath but wouldn’t look at me for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, hesitant. This wasn’t the Jake I was used to. I waited.

“When I saw you last night with Chase, when he was fucking you…I realized I didn’t want that…didn’t want to share you with another man, even in the context of a scene at a club.”

He looked at me. There was vulnerability in his eyes. Something had changed tonight in Jake, something important and vital, and I wasn’t sure where this was headed.

“I was jealous. Very jealous.”

“Jake, you could have stopped the whole thing. You were there; you could have stopped Chase.”

He took another deep breath. “I know. But you were so…you were enjoying it so much I didn’t want to take that away from you.” He turned to me.

“Abby. You asked me what I learned.” He took my face in his hands.

“I learned that I love you.”

I let myself into my apartment, tossing my keys on the coffee table. I’d been gone less than twenty-four hours but it seemed as though a lifetime had gone by.

My relationship with Jake had changed. For the better, I wasn’t sure, but it had been irreversibly changed by our visit to Chase’s club.

Jake loved me.

And deep down, I realized that I quite possibly loved him as well. Although in the moment, I wasn’t brave enough to admit it to him. But he didn’t seem to need me to say the words. I realized he still needed to control the situation, to be the one to take the lead, even in showing his vulnerable side. Even admitting he loved me. And for now, I was okay with that.

Jake was a puzzle; it seemed there would always be something deep and inscrutable between us that I couldn’t quite reach, something he held deeply guarded from me, maybe even from himself. I didn’t know.

He’d hinted in our first meeting at a ‘dark period’ in his past. Did it have something to do with being a Dom?

There was something so tightly controlled about Jake. It was almost as if he had secrets or experiences that made it impossible to just let go, to be vulnerable, even when still in full control. And at every session, I couldn’t help but feel as though he hid another side of himself from me. That he took his memories, his secrets and put them – and the fear they created in him – away in a box, locked it tightly and then pushed it away. From the tortured look that I’d seen in his eyes, I had no doubt that he always knew where that box was, knew how to find it, even in the dark. I wasn’t sure if it was the secrets he was afraid of…or the fear itself.

And I realized with a start, it really didn’t matter. We all had secrets, carried baggage, kept things hidden. Who was I to make Jake reveal what he didn’t…or couldn’t…tell me?

And in understanding that, I realized I could love Jake for who he was, right at this moment. I may come to regret not knowing whatever his secrets were, but for now, I was happy.

On the way to take a shower, I saw there were a couple messages on my answering machine.
Probably Leslie.

I sighed, hitting play. The first was a hang up, but when the second one began I froze.

It was Chase. His voice sounded strange in my apartment, almost like an intrusion, but one that made my heart thump and my stomach muscles clench in memory. At first his words made no sense so I hit replay.

‘Abby, this is Chase. I just wanted to let you know that I have your collar. I took it off during our session for safety reasons and forgot to hand it back to you.’

My hand flew to my bare neck. There was a pause during the message and I thought Chase had simply hung up until I heard his voice again. This time it rumbled through the speaker in a low, deep growl.