Whatever the Cost (39 page)

Jacen grunts thickly and he tugs harder, breathing shakily. Liam opens his lips and lets a soft moan slip free as he tugs the finger back out, savoring the friction. He hasn’t touched himself or been touched in so long, the muscles have closed back up and regained a tightness he hasn’t enjoyed since he first became sexually active. The finger pumps slowly in and out. He fucks himself with it, knowing how it must look, the pink ring hugged up around the digit, taking each push, puckering obscenely with each withdraw. He jacks himself faster, enjoying it, getting off on it. He needs more so he adds another finger, pushing his index finger in alongside the one already there. It’s almost enough. He plucks the fingers out and rubs over his hole, stimulating the engorging flesh as blood rushes there, making everything that much more sensitive. Lightly he taps the opening and Jacen grunts harder, hissing a curse under his breath.

Liam senses movement but he keeps his eyes closed over, playing with himself, not letting his concentration get broken, trusting Jacen. Feather-light, a finger traces the edge of his cleft chin and Liam knows what Jacen is giving him. Parting his lips, letting them soften, he waits to be kissed. The dark shadow of Jacen’s form looms over him and his heat radiates into Liam’s skin. Sighing softly, Liam feels Jacen’s lips skim over his. Liam’s tongue pushes forward, finding Jacen’s lips and the tip of his tongue. It remains light and they explore each other, lips brushing over lips, tongues barely touching, breathing into each other as Liam brings himself closer to orgasm. He knows without looking to confirm it that Jacen is still watching him, that Jacen is still manipulating himself closer and closer to release. He feels it in every breath, in every tender touch of Jacen’s lips—the passion and devotion, the way Liam has taken Jacen apart. It’s one of the most amazing experiences of Liam’s life, because it’s the complete opposite of what he’s used to—being kissed so lovingly, so gently while no one touches his body in any other way, but instead lets him do the touching. Liam gets off all on his own, brought there by Jacen’s love and the knowledge that Jacen watches with desperate, avid passion.

Fully expecting Jacen to come first, Liam is surprised by his own orgasm. It blooms like a flower, unfolding between his spread legs. Fingering himself quickly, tugging rapidly, he comes in a few thick pulses of semen that he struggles to catch in his hand, rather than soil himself. He uses the viscous fluid to further slick his cock. It slides so wet and hot in his hand and Liam moans thunderously into Jacen’s mouth, bucking into his hand, stuffing his fingers as far up his hole as he can reach, just to feel full like he loves to be. The inner muscles clench and grip his fingers with the beat of his heart as he comes and comes down.

Trembling, his heart racing, Liam tries to catch his breath. Jacen nuzzles his cheek and oh-so-gently kisses beside the new piercing, seeing the skin there to be inflamed and tender as it heals.

Liam reopens his eyes at last, and sees Jacen is hugely erect, desperate and wanting. He’s held off for some reason, some purpose that Liam can’t interpret or begin to guess at.

“Grab me that towel?” Liam asks quietly, bringing his knees back together, growing slightly self-conscious.

Jacen does as asked, reaching for one of the towels stacked on the nearby chair and passing it to Liam, watching as Liam wipes his hands and genitals clean.

Then Liam waits, knowing Jacen needs to be the one to ask and clarify his purpose.

It takes longer than Liam expects. Jacen straightens. He’d been bent over the side of the bed, grasping the headboard for stability as he leaned over Liam for their languorous kiss. Laid out on the bed, Liam feels exceedingly vulnerable, so he gets up onto his knees instead, facing Jacen. The kilt falls back into place, concealing Liam’s nakedness.

“Tell me,” Liam urges, coaxing Jacen to confess.

Jacen rolls his eyes wearily at himself. His face grows pinker as a blush not born of desire heats the skin.

“I want you to fuck me,” he murmurs, the words only audible due to the stillness of the apartment. “I waited until you came to tell you because... I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you do,” Liam says, not falling for the lie. If he thought Jacen’s blush of embarrassment couldn’t get darker, he was wrong. “If you need me to do this, you have to say it. You have to convince me I’m not hurting you either. Two-way street.”

Jacen hesitates.

Liam continues, “Baby, this isn’t gonna work if we can’t trust each other enough to talk about this.”

“Goddamn it,” Jacen curses softly. He raises his gaze to lock with Liam’s. “Okay. I want to get off while you finger me. I really like that. Um....”

“What?” Liam presses, seeing a new confession sitting there on the tip of Jacen’s tongue, but quickly bitten back.

“...Yasha...” Jacen finally confesses.

“Oh.” Liam says, trying not to imagine it. “It’s how he got you off.”

“It became more about focusing on me feeling pleasure, without fear or pain. That makes sense, right?”

“Yeah,” Liam sighs, attempting to stifle any gathering resentment. “It does.”

“But I want more than that from you,” Jacen continues. “I miss feeling you in me, Lee. I need you like this. No condoms, no barriers, just you. I want to feel you enjoy it. And I don’t want you to be gentle. I don’t want you to make love to me. I want you to
fuck
me.”

“C’mere,” Liam breathes, pulling Jacen in. They kiss and Liam takes it deeper than before, putting urgency and heart-stopping affection into the contact. He kisses Jacen breathless as he works to get Jacen’s jeans down over his hips. “If you wanna fuck, you’re gonna have to give me a few minutes to, uh, recover.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jacen admits impatiently. “Fingers....”

“Right. So, how do you want this?”

Jacen thinks it over, but it’s difficult to decide even that, his brain’s circuits are so fried. “I wanna see you.”

“Okay,” Liam nods, turning them around so that Jacen is the one on the bed. He guides Jacen back down onto the mattress and pulls his jeans and boxers off. Jacen plants his feet on the edge of the bed, tilting his hips up in invitation. Stepping right up between Jacen’s spread legs, Liam slicks plenty of lube on his hand. He penetrates Jacen with two fingers. Stroking his inner walls, working his hand in and out, Liam lets him ease into it. Scissoring his fingers apart, he coaxes the muscle loose. Jacen’s blush doesn’t fade—his face a deep red—and soon he gives in to the demands of his body. His hand falls between his legs as Liam corkscrews the digits, bending and twisting them up into Jacen repeatedly.

“I know why you’re really tight,” Liam says. “It’s been a damn long time, hasn’t it? I wanna get four fingers in here but I’m not sure they’ll fit. But see, what I don’t understand is why you’re so tense.”

Jacen exhales sharply, then holds the breath.

“You gettin’ shy on me, baby?”

“Maybe,” Jacen grunts, trying not to watch as Liam watches him jerk off. “Maybe it’s just the fucking kilt and piercing.”

Liam chuckles. As he slips in a third finger, and Jacen’s mouth works around an unvoiced cry, he says with dark amusement, “You like ’em that much, huh? Good to know.”

His wrist pivots and he intentionally triggers Jacen’s prostate. Jacen’s mouth works again, but this time the cry is voiced. It’s hoarse and jagged; like Liam pulls it from him no matter how hard Jacen tries to claw it back down. “Mmm, you liked that too? What’s it gonna take for you to come so I can fuck this? How about four? Can you take four?”

“Lee-Liam...
fuck
!” Jacen bucks, fucking his own hand, moving reflexively as Liam massages his prostate gland. “God... DAMN it.”

Liam inserts finger number four and Jacen growls through gritted teeth. The tapered wedge of Liam’s hand opens him wider than he’s been in a long time.
Jesus Christ, it feels good
, he moans inwardly. Then the moan breaks free, loud and strong, as Jacen finally finds release, coming in a milky flood over his fingers.

Without letting up, thrusting his hand into Jacen over and over again, twisting it to get deeper on each push, Liam leans down and licks over Jacen’s fingers, cleaning away his come as he continues to pulse and clench around Liam’s hand. Opening wider, he suckles the reddened head of Jacen’s cock, held tightly in Jacen’s fist and that’s it. Jacen is done. He’d give Liam anything—absolutely anything he wanted—in that moment. Liam
owns
him.

Letting go of his spent flesh, Jacen grabs his thighs and holds his legs, pressed back toward his chest. He blows out a breath and then again, trying to steady himself and calm down. But Liam withdraws his hand only to press back inside, more firmly than ever and gets most of it, all the way up to the base of his thumb, into Jacen.

Jacen growls, blowing out his sharp inhale even as his dick struggles, futilely, to stiffen again.

“I’m just a thumb away from fisting you,” Liam tells him, his typically bright eyes dark with lust. The twinkling sparkle from the dermal piercing is like a mockery, daring Jacen to think Liam so innocent and vulnerable now.

“I’d do it,” Liam whispers. “I want to. But it’s more important to me that you really feel my cock when I’m pounding it into you.”

Just like that, the hand tugs out, leaving him too open, gaping, empty.

“Flip over. Ass-up, sweetheart.”

And Jacen wants it—badly—so he flips over as gracefully as he can, keeping his knees planted widely to make plenty of room for Liam to get nice and close. He keeps his ass up high as instructed but locks his arms, bracing them against the bed with a double-handful of bedding for what he knows is coming. Flipping his hair back from his face, Jacen turns, looking back over his shoulder just in time to see Liam flipping up the front of the kilt. He squeezes up his shaft twice, then fits it to Jacen’s hole. With a hard thrust, he’s nestled deep and Jacen croaks a wrenching moan, pushing back into Liam’s pelvis, inviting more.

“Come on, fuck me. Hard,” Jacen rasps.

Liam’s upper lip curls in a hungry sneer, animalistic and primal. He draws his hips back and Jacen feels the friction keenly. The first thrust is just the beginning as Liam sets a brutal pace, his pelvis slapping loudly against Jacen’s nicely presented ass. His cheeks get quickly pink. Jacen moans low and long and works himself onto Liam, pressing back against every thrust, pulling forward on the withdrawal. His movements are greedy, wanton.

“Harder. Fuckin’ harder,” Jacen grunts. He dares another look and sears what he sees into his brain, the image of Liam, dressed as he is, wild as he is, fucking him with all his strength until Jacen knows he’s going to feel the bruises the next day. The air is driven from Jacen’s lungs on every impact, knocked from him with the force of Liam’s cock, and it is
so
good.

Liam holds him by the hips and gives up on bothering to pull out so far on each thrust; he stays buried to the root in Jacen’s heat and beats the cradle of his pelvis against Jacen’s ass over and over. Liam’s breath begins leaving him in ragged tears as he empties himself into Jacen, climaxing hard enough for his vision to momentarily white out.

They both collapse down onto the bed, exhausted. And, as Liam doesn’t have the energy or interest to pull out, they stay intimately joined. Jacen moans loudly into the mattress below him, letting out all his remaining pent-up cares, going limp and boneless. The weight of Liam on top of him and between his legs is welcome and comforting. He has only enough left in him to reach back and find Liam’s hand, weaving their fingers together as he loses himself in sleep.

An uncertain amount of time later, Jacen wakes, having forgotten what he’s been up to, and, to his astonishment, finds Liam still with him—or rather, within him.

“Jesus, you’re still up my ass?”

Liam laughs and presses a kiss to Jacen’s back. “I ain’t done with it yet.”

“Clearly. How long have you been hard?”

“Long enough,” Liam says gruffly as he begins to rock in a smooth, rolling motion, working himself in Jacen’s snug orifice.

Jacen groans. He lifts his hips, bowing his back to accept Liam deeper. This time it’s sweeter, more lovemaking than fucking, though still urgent and passionate enough that Jacen grows restless. He dutifully lets Liam use him, trying not to rut against the bed to get off himself. But when Liam catches on, he shifts the position so that Jacen is on his side, his leg drawn up and open so that Liam can bring Jacen off as he moves inside him.

Afterward, Liam lays there with him, pressing soft, warm kisses to his skin, until Jacen stirs, rolling from his side to his back. It causes Liam to pull free of him. For a few long, comfortably quiet minutes they just lay there together. Then Jacen reaches down and touches himself, feeling the tenderness of his rim. When he pushes a finger inside, he’s amazed at how wet he is. He can feel Liam’s sticky fluids there, dripping down from deep inside, leaking out and running down the inside of his leg and up through his cheeks.

“God, I’m a mess. It’s so strange,” he says with wonder. “But nice. I like feeling like I’m yours.”

“Oh, you’re mine all right. No gettin’ out of it now,” Liam smirks, clearly enjoying Jacen’s depravity very much.

“Good.” Jacen stares at Liam’s mouth, twisted up with happiness. “I’m gonna get cleaned up. Then I’ll cook you whatever you’re in the mood for.”

“Deal. I’m a lucky bitch.”