When It Rains... (6 page)

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Authors: Angie Daniels

BOOK: When It Rains...
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Honey shifted her head on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. She'd hoped that the next time she saw Jay her feelings would be different. Instead, they had been the same, maybe even stronger. Seeing Jay today had forced her to admit that her attraction hadn't diminished,and neither had his. She'd seen his heart through his eyes and knew he still cared for her. It had all been too much.
She closed her eyes and pictured his handsome face. She hadn't fully realized how much she'd truly missed him until today. Ending their relationship had created a sense of loss she never would have expected.
How lonely my life has become.
She took a deep breath as emotion choked her. The desire that had lain dormant in her heart for several months had resurfaced. Now it was alive and burning between them. How was it Jay was able to make her feel that way? Her head told her to stay away, but her heart was saying something else. Desire mingled with fear, and Honey realized her feelingswere in turmoil. She swallowed hard, trying to stay calm as she savored their latest encounter.
Standing so close to Jay, she had ached to reach up and stroke his face. She wanted to relive the feel of his body against hers, the taste of his succulent lips, and the soft caress of his fingertips across her nipples. She shook her head and tried to escape the memories, but a shiver raced through her and made it unbearable to lie still. She moved to a sitting position and leaned against her headboard. Her bed felt so cold, alone. How wonderfulit would be to have Jay's warm body lying next to her, holding her tight. Honey drew her knees up to her chest and dropped her head on them. Tears welled up in her eyes. It bothered her that she was so distractedby him. She hated that Jay had the power to destroythe tranquility of her life. She tried to be angry with him, but couldn't. She tried to dismiss the memoryof how he had made her feel that afternoon, but she failed at that shit, too.
Jay's voice came again, echoing through the silence of her room:
“Why do you keep running?”
Although Jay had suspected her fear, she couldn't answer.What would happen when he found out the truth? She was so afraid he would. Then what would he think of her?
The look in Jay's eyes meant he was more determinedthan ever to find out why she ended their relationship.Panic squeezed at her chest. She couldn't let that happen! But Jay had a strange power over her that was difficult to control. Fighting to calm her mounting fear, Honey took a deep cleansing breath. No. She was doing the right thing. As much as it hurt, there was no fuckin' way things were going to change. As much as her body wanted otherwise, she had to continue to keep him at bay.
She and Jay could never be together.
Honey removed the pillow from behind her head and held it to her throbbing nipples, then groaned and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how much more of this shit she could take.
 
 
Jay stepped out of the bathroom and quickly realizedthe cold shower had been unsuccessful at getting rid of a hard-on.
“This is getting fuckin' ridiculous,” he groaned with frustration.
He hadn't had sex since that night with Kendra. Becauseof Honey, he'd lost the desire to be with anyone else. It had taken all his strength tonight not to pull Honey into his arms and devour her lips, sampling their sweetness once again. Torn between wanting her but afraid of frightening her off, he intended to spend a lot of time plotting ways to win her heart.
Jay strolled into his room and reached for his underweardrawer. Honey was more gorgeous than he'd remembered, and her large eyes had seemed to swallow him whole. Her petite frame gave her an image of fragilevulnerability, yet she was the same strong-willed, stubborn little fireball who initially attracted him. Tonighthe'd watched her struggle as she tried to deny her feelings for him. But Jay knew better. Honey had forgottenthat she had allowed him an opportunity to see inside her head. He knew her defensive wall acted as a shield against something that had happened to her in her past, something that prevented her from allowing anyone to get too close. In all the time they'd bared their souls, she never once shared that piece of information.Now Jay was determined to find out what it was. Once he obtained that information, he'd have the piece of her he desired most.
Her heart.
Sitting on the bed, Jay dropped his head in his hands. His life had grown too complicated, and it frustratedhim. Even though he'd wanted to stay and make Honey confront her feelings, he'd made progress with her tonight. He wanted her with him now, here, sharing his bed instead of his having to spend another night alone. He wanted to bury his dick deep inside her and show her how good it could be between them. But he knew it wasn't time. Right now, something else took precedence over everything else.
Terraine had ragged him about his decision not to keep the baby. What else could he do? He damn sure wasn't marrying Kendra. Besides, she'd made it perfectlyclear that she didn't want the baby if he refused to be her husband. Jay was convinced he was incapable of raising a child. Moreover, he didn't want his child raised by a nanny, as he had been.
Jay ran a frustrated hand through his hair. It wasn't that he was trying to run away from his responsibilities. Shhiiit! The simple truth was that he'd make a lousy single parent. Although he felt terribly guilty, he knew a loving family would be better equipped to raise his child. He would never be able to raise a child alone, and he certainly could never do it with a selfish-ass woman like Kendra Johnson. He'd given it a lot of thought, and knew he'd made the right choice.
With that firmly in mind, Jay reached for the phone and dialed Kendra's number. But a familiar twinge of guilt assailed him before the second ring.
“Damn.” Then with a sigh, he lowered the receiver.
 
 
Kendra looked down at her caller ID box and smirked. Jay's conscience was finally getting the better of him.
About damn time.
She had dropped by his condo more than a month ago, and hadn't heard one word from his sorry ass. Only the infrequent hang-up calls all week. Had it not been for Natalia, she would never have known Jay had gone out of town.
She snorted and brushed a long red fingernail across her cheek. She realized it had been a mistake to tell him about the baby. What had she expected to gain by going to see him that morning? A father for her child? A husband for herself? Kendra threw her head back on the pillow and gave a cynical laugh.
Hell naw.
She knew better. Jay was no more fit to be a father than she was to be a mother. He was a true playa. He'd proven that time and time again. He loved his freedom as much as he loved his career.
But anyone was capable of change. She had awakenedthat morning feeling the slight possibility that perhaps his unborn child might shock some sense into him. Instead, he'd left town on one of his stupid-ass rent-a-cop assignments the day after her visit. Was he that confused? Chickenshit, maybe? It was so unlike Jay to be afraid. His predictably strong exterior never revealed any of his internal feelings. Maybe it was a sign his ass was finally weakening.
Kendra reached for the remote control and clicked the television off. To Jay, she'd never been more than a booty call. She had accepted this because the brotha was no joke in bed. He had a colossal dick and knew how to use it. Also deep down she'd hoped he would eventually develop stronger feelings for her. He never had. Jay wasn't interested in commitments or attachments.At least, not with her. Her wet coochie was the only thing he had been interested in.
But all that shit was about to change.
Kendra's brow furrowed as she remembered the last night they'd spent together. Jay had ended their relationshipseveral months prior, and no matter how much she tried, Kendra had been unsuccessful at getting him back into her bed. Then, as luck would have it, she'd found his fine ass sitting alone at the bar, drunk. She'd snatched his keys and told him he was in no shape to drive, and he was going home with her. Jay had been too intoxicated to disagree, giving her the perfect opportunityto put her plan into action. He may have been asleep but his big dick was wide awake. She buried all ten inches inside her wet coochie, then rode his ass all night. But the next morning he played her and pissed her the fuck off.
Before she could decide how to retaliate, Lawrence had come along, and she'd been swept instantly off her feet. At the time, it didn't matter that he had an itty-bittydick. All that mattered was his fat pockets and status in the community. When Kendra realized she was pregnant, she was so afraid of losing him she'd quickly scheduled an abortion. Lawrence found her bent over the toilet, puking her guts out, and asked her if she was pregnant. When she confirmed his suspicion,he'd shouted with glee. He shared with her his inabilityto have children, then asked her to marry him, saying he would raise the child as his own. Relieved, Kendra immediately began to plan a wedding, spreadingthe word that she was carrying Lawrence's child. She had almost had it all: a new dental practice, a rich and successful husband, prestige, and a baby to make the package complete. Everything was perfect.
Then, just like that, it had all slipped away. Two weeks before their wedding day, Lawrence announced that his urologist had made a mistake. He'd been fuckinghis nurse and had impregnated her and no longer needed Kendra. Feeling used and abused, and too far into her pregnancy to terminate it, Kendra had quickly run back to Jay, hoping he would be pleased to find out he was going to be a daddy.
Even though Lawrence had been an excellent substitute,Jay really had everything she'd ever wanted in a husband. He was gorgeous, sexy, and rich and had a big fat dick. As she leaned back against a stack of pillows,she reminded herself that it wasn't about money. Jay was the perfect choice as a husband. Oh yeah ... and the perfect father for her unborn child.
Now, with no other option, Kendra didn't even want to consider the possibility that Jay wasn't interested in resuming their relationship. Things had cooled betweenthem several times before, but whenever she was ready to start again, Jay had always been compliant. She had always believed her tight coochie was difficult for him to resist. The sex was off the hook. Only Jay knew how to find her G-spot. Only he made sure she was satisfied before he would come. The mothafucka could eat pussy almost as good as she could suck a dick. He challenged her in bed and brought the freak out in her. Their time in bed was innovative and buck wild. Closing her eyes, she reached down and stroked her clit as she pretended it was Jay touching her.
They'd maintained an on-again, off-again relationshipfor years, allowing her ample time to sample other possibilities before returning for more of Jay's good loving. But the day following his drunken stupor had been different. Jay had cut her ass completely off. At first Kendra had taken it personally, but when she met Lawrence, she put Jay on the back burner herself.
It wasn't until recently that it dawned on her that Jay hadn't called or even tried to get in touch with her once during the entire seven-month span. Could things possiblyhave changed that much? Maybe it was time for her to pray. Kendra chuckled at that. She hadn't prayed in so long, God would probably ask, “Now what did you say your name was again?”
Kendra shifted on the bed and reached for a bag of potato chips, stuffing several into her mouth. She rubbed her hand across her swollen belly, anxious to have this tormenting, disfiguring pregnancy end.
She refused to be a single parent like her mother. Throughout her entire childhood, Martha Johnson made damn sure Kendra knew her ugly ass was the reason she couldn't keep a man. No good man wanted someoneelse's nappy-headed kid. As the years progressed, Kendra learned to think just as her mother had. She desiredsomething she'd never had and was determined to get: love, marriage, and family.
Pressing her lips tightly together, she dragged one leg up alongside her inflated stomach. It had to be an all-or-nothing deal. Either Jay married her and they raised their child together or she'd get rid of the baby as soon as it was born.
With that in mind, Kendra leaned over and removed a business card from her nightstand. She stared down at the name of a very influential member of the St. Louis community. After gazing at it for several more seconds, her lips curled into a twisted smile.
“Oh, hell yeah!” she chimed.
Either way it went, she would triumph in the end.
Three
H
oney put her pencil down on the desk and stretched her arms high above her head, allowing a yawn to escapeher lips. Planning to be out most of the afternoon, she'd arrived at the salon early, hoping to weed through most of the work piled high on her desk. However, after two hours, she was long overdue for a break. She rose from the chair and stepped out into the lobby, eager to claim a cup of coffee.
While adding sugar to her mug, she heard the small bell hanging over the front door ring. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Mercedes strolling into the building.
“Hey, girl. What're you doing in so early?” Honey said, and stopped stirring her coffee long enough to gaze down at her watch. She raised an eyebrow in surprise.It was only nine o'clock. Mercedes typically didn't book her first appointment until after ten. Even then, she usually ran late.
Before answering Honey's question, Mercedes whizzed over to her workstation at the far end of the room, pulled out the middle drawer, and placed her purse inside. “My car broke down,” she mumbled. “So I had Dean drop me off on his way to the garage.” She removed her coat, slipped a red smock over her head, and tied it around her waist. “Besides ...” She stopped to give Honey an innocent expression before pointing to her head. “I thought maybe you could tighten my weave.”
Honey gave Mercedes a sidelong glance, not missingthe glint from her gold-toothed smile while she remainedsilent, waiting to hear more. Nothing was ever simple with the stylist whose life was
drama
with a capital D.
“Uh-huh,” Honey murmured, then removed the wooden stirrer from her mug and tossed it into the nearby wastebasket. She raised her mug quickly to her lips and took a sip of the hot liquid.
Not bad.
The brew wasn't quite as good as Candy's, but it would have to do. The receptionist wasn't due in until late afternoon.
Honey moved toward her workstation, the heels of her brown leather pumps clicking against the vinyl tile, and set her mug on the counter. With the wave of her hand, she motioned for Mercedes to come and take a seat in the chair. Honey reached for an identical smock and slipped it on, covering her long chocolate wool skirt and creamy silk blouse. It was her power outfit. Scheduled to meet with the bank later in the day, she needed the confidence the combination provided her.
When Mercedes moved in closer, Honey sucked in her breath at the sight of the conspicuous dark bruise beneath her left eye that she had tried unsuccessfully to conceal with foundation. Honey quickly summed up that there wasn't a damn thing wrong with Mercedes's car. Dean had once again dotted her eye, then had taken her keys away in hope of keeping her from straying too far from home.
Realizing her boss had noticed, Mercedes lowered her lashes away from Honey's critical squint and climbed into the chair.
For a long moment, Honey stared down at Mercedes'sreflection in the mirror, studying her. A pretty, mahogany-colored woman with a voluptuous body and large, doelike hazel eyes fanned by thick, dark lashes, Mercedes could do a lot better, Honey knew, than Dean's no-good ass. With a great deal of effort, she pressed her lips tight so she wouldn't comment and reached for a wide-toothed comb. Along the way, she had learned to mind her own damn business.
Mercedes had been with her since the first day she opened her doors, and played a major part in the salon's success. With her reputation as being a fabuloushairstylist, an overbooked schedule proved the girl made money. The only fault Mercedes had was her baby's daddy, Dean, who sucked her dry and continued to keep her down. For years, he'd been controlling her life by keeping her in line with an occasional black eye. Honey had tried several times to offer her assistance,but it never lasted for long. Mercedes was determinedto hang on to Dean. Consistently listening to his weak-ass explanations, she always took him back. Becauseof their last disagreement over the way Dean dogged her dumb ass, and the rift that had developed between the two women, Honey decided it was best to stay the hell out of it, as would the rest of her staff when they arrived later in the day.
Pushing aside her ill thoughts, Honey parted Mercedes'shair and ran her fingertips along the ebony weave. “It doesn't look that bad,” she said after a quick observation. “After I tighten your tracks, I'll wash it for you.” She hoped her offer would bring some comfort to her stylist's fucked-up life.
“Thanks, Honey,” Mercedes said, and released a long sigh as her shoulders relaxed. She'd obviously been holding her breath, anticipating a reaction from Honey regarding her battered face, and was relieved Honey had remained silent. She raised her head and looked at Honey's reflection in the mirror. “Mind if Lil' Dee and I stay with you tonight?”
Honey placed a comforting hand on Mercedes's shoulder as her eyes came to rest on the questioning face reflected in the mirror before her. “Girl, now you know you don't have to ask.” Since the first time Mercedesand her five-year-old son sought shelter at her home, Honey had kept a spare key under a small rock at the edge of her garage. When the abuse became frequent,she hadn't seen any sense in removing it.
The warmth in Honey's voice echoed in a smile the two shared, until Mercedes lowered her eyes to her hands. Honey knew her employee had no intention of discussing the situation any further, so she just reached for a sewing needle and proceeded to fix her hair.
Honey had Mercedes under the dryer when Sasha came waddling through the door and said, “Hey, y'all.” She waved before moving to the coatrack. “Can you believeit has the audacity to snow?”
Honey rose from her chair with a startled expression.“You're kidding?”
Sasha shook her head.
“I ain't surprised.” Mercedes elevated her voice, tryingto speak over the hum of the dryer.
Honey moved over to the large window. Using her palm, she wiped away the frost from the glass. Sure enough, light flakes were falling to the ground. Even though it had been a mild winter, Missouri was known for its strange weather. Her thoughts filtered to the groundhogthat had seen his shadow, indicating six more weeks of bad weather. She wished she could ring his fuckin' neck. Honey was never one to believe in superstitions, but lately she was beginning to wonder. “Damn,” she said. “I thought we were through with snow. I left my heavy coat at home.”
Sasha shrugged out of a black cape, followed by a matching beret. “I thought the season was over myself, but you know as well as I do Februarys are always so unpredictable.”
Honey turned away from the window, nodding in agreement, then walked to her station. She signaled for Sasha to follow.
Sasha plopped down into the chair. “I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to sit in this chair,” she grumbled. “I'm getting bigger by the hour.”
Honey leaned over and placed a palm on her protrudingstomach. “How's my godbaby doing today?” she cooed.
“Gettin' on my damn nerves!” Sasha tried to sound annoyed but giggles of joy escaped her lips. “She's been break-dancing all morning. I woke Terraine this morning and told him he needed to tell his daughter to go back to sleep. Instead, he spent an hour talking to her.” She stopped to drop a loving hand to her middle. “I tell you, she's already got her daddy wrapped around her little finger.”
Honey snorted. “And you wouldn't have it any other way. The child's gonna be spoiled rotten.”
Sasha grinned. “Yeah ... I know.”
Honey swung the chair around and removed the rubber band from Sasha's honey-colored hair, allowing it to flow freely around her shoulders. Running her fingersthrough it, Honey quickly summed up that Sasha needed a touch-up and told her so.
“Go 'head. I got nothing but time to kill. Terraine's takin' me to dinner later.” She paused to look at Honey's reflection in the mirror. “He and Jay are paintingthe nursery today.”
Sasha watched the way Honey's face lit up at the mention of her brother-in-law's name. Even though Honey never admitted it, Sasha had known for quite some time something was going on between the two of them.
But Honey brushed it off. “Hmm, that's nice,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady even though her palms had begun to sweat.
Lips pursed, Sasha waited impatiently to hear more. When she realized she wasn't getting it, she sighed. “Honey, what's up with ya?”
“Whatcha talkin' about?” Honey stuck a comb into a tub of chemical relaxer and began applying it to Sasha's roots. She tried to appear engrossed in her work, but Sasha wasn't born yesterday.
“Jay's been asking a lot of questions about you.”
Honey froze for only a heartbeat. “Questions?” Comb in hand, she twirled the chair around until Sasha was facing her. “What kind of questions?”
Sasha smirked. “Oh my! Aren't we suddenly interested?”Holding her stomach, she gave a jolly laugh. She didn't intend to say anything more, but seeing her friend's I'm-ready-to-strangle-your-ass expression, Sasha decided it was wise to continue. “He wanted to know if you were seeing anyone.”
“And ... what the hell did you tell him?”
Sasha looked down at her hands and mumbled, “I told him the truth.” She paused to raise her eyes and met Honey's curious gaze again. “Naw, she ain't.”
Honey's arms fell against her side. “No?” she repeated.
“It's the truth!” Sasha challenged.
“How the hell do you know?” Honey asked. Especiallysince she never bothered to mention she'd ended her relationship with Lavell.
Sasha gave a defiant smile. “ 'Cause I know you.”
“What-the-fuck-ever,” Honey murmured.
Rolling her eyes, Honey tried to turn the chair back around, but Sasha latched on to her wrist. “Don't you want to hear the rest?” she asked, her tone one of faked innocence.
Honey's eyes sparkled. “There's more?”
Sasha nodded, releasing her grip. “I was eavesdroppingon the two of them this morning, and I heard Jay talkin' to Terraine about you.”
“What did he say?”
“Well, when I heard your name, I tried to lean in so I could hear better, and ... well, shit, my stomach got in the way and pushed the door open.”
Honey's lips curled downward. “You ain't no help.” “Help for what?” Sasha asked. Receiving no response,she folded her arms on top of her stomach. “Girl, you know you like him, so quit trippin' and tell me the truth.”
Honey positioned herself behind the chair and resumedher work. “There ain't nothin' to tell. Jay and I are friends.”
Blowing out an exasperated breath, Sasha sputtered, “But you two barely speak to each other anymore.I do have the right to know.”
Honey smirked. “How the hell you figure that?”
“ 'Cause I'm supposed to be your best friend.”
Parting her hair, Honey snorted. “Girl, puhleeze.”
“I want to know what the hell happened,” Sasha said, her request a demand now.
“Quit trippin'. Nothing happened,” Honey said, combing the relaxer through Sasha's hair. “Jay and I decided we were spending too much time together. So we backed off.” She looked down at Sasha through the mirror. “Damn, Sasha. We're just
friends
.” She said the word slow enough for even a five-year-old to understand.“Do I need to spell the shit out for you?” Using hand gestures, she gave her best shot at sign language.
Sasha huffed. “Friends, my ass! I've seen the way the two of you look at one another. Like y'all need to go rent a room or somethin'. Why can't you just admit that you like him?”
“Okay ... I like him,” Honey said.
“I knew your ass was lying!” Sasha gave a triumphantlaugh.
“That's it, Sasha ... nothing more.”
Sasha clicked her tongue knowingly. “Uh-huh, whatever.”
Honey had had enough. “Why don't we talk about somethin' else? Like ...” Forced to think fast, Honey said, “... Like what're we gonna name my goddaughter.”
Sasha rolled her eyes heavenward. Sooner or later, Honey had to open up to her, because the secrecy was driving her crazy. Even her own husband wouldn't tell her what the hell was going on, and she felt left out. She hated secrets.
She and Honey had known each other since high school, and she couldn't ask for a better friend. They had gone through a lot of shit together over the years. Honey always had her back. Sasha had tried to return the favor, but felt like Honey was hiding something. No matter how much she tried to get Honey to open up she never would, telling her only what she wanted her to know. Well, Sasha was sure there was a lot more going on between Honey and Jay. At one time she was certain that the two of them were fucking, and she was going to find out the truth if it killed her.
With that in mind, Sasha decided to leave the shit alone for now, and began rattling off the list of baby names she and Terraine had come up with.

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