When We Were Us (Keeping Score, #1) (6 page)

Chapter 10:  Abby

High school was pretty much hell for me.  I watched the people around me change and grow, but it felt like I was standing still.

Nat spent so much of his time on the water once he joined crew that I hardly saw him at all.  After school, his mom picked him up and drove him to the college for practice.  I went to as many of his matches as I could, but even there I didn’t see him for long.  He told me though that it made him feel stronger when I was there watching.

“When I know you’re there, it’s like I could row for miles,” he said, eyes shining.  I smiled but I couldn’t meet his gaze.  Nat had been making it abundantly clear that he thought of me as more than a friend, and I walked a very fine line between ignoring it and encouraging me.  I didn’t want to lose my friend, but I knew I didn’t like him that way.  Mostly I knew that because there
was
someone who made my heart pound.

Jesse was all about the football these days.  He never talked about anything else, and he had a whole new group of friends who spoke the same language.  I don’t think he realized that most of these people looked at Nat and me the same way they would a bug on the sidewalk; they would as soon step on us rather than bother to walk around us.  I didn’t try to point this out to Jesse because he was so clearly happy with life the way it was.

But it was killing me.  I never missed a football game, but it was pure torture to sit in the stands, watching him play, knowing that it really didn’t matter to him whether or not I was there.  And more often than not, after the game ended Jesse would be surrounded by cheer leaders and other popular girls.  Sometimes, he would be holding the hand of one or another of them.  Most everyone went to the Starlight Diner after football games, and Nat and I went a few times, too.  Jesse usually managed to wave at us, or even to stop at our table sometimes, but he was always with a girl who was looking up adoringly at him.  There was only so much of that I could take.

If I went out of my way to support the athletic interests of my best friends, they did their best to encourage me in my extracurricular activities, too.  Newspaper was the one bright spot in my entire high school career.  I loved hanging out in the editorial office, and I actually made friends with people who worked on the paper with me.  They were a mixed bunch, some of them nerdy like me, a few who were on the edge of the popular crowd. 

The teacher who ran the journalism club was cool, too.  Ms. Nelson was young and had lots of energy, and she was always giving us fun assignments.