Read When You Least Expect It Online
Authors: Sandra Leiper
“Happy?”
“Very. This is much better than eating.” She laughed.
“Speaking of which…I’m ravenous. How does a big fat burger sound?”
“It sounds great. There’s a great place called the Hamburger Inn that makes spectacular burgers. You sure that’s what you want?”
“Definitely, let’s go.”
~~~
They stopped at Amanda’s house after dinner. Amanda had a few things to do before her family arrived the next day. There was a strange car in the driveway.
“Uh-oh, I wonder who this could be?” Amanda got out of the car apprehensively. Just as she got to the door, it hit her in a very loud way.
“Surprise! I left early, Mandy, and instead of calling, wanted to see that very shocked look I see on your face.” Blossom looked past her. “Oh my god, it’s the mystery man. Come in here and let me look!” She practically shoved Amanda aside to get at Ray. “Well, you’re a cutie, that’s for sure. You smell like ketchup though.” She looked at Amanda. “Seems okay so far; who else has met him?”
Amanda glared at her cousin. “Hello to you, too. What the hell are you doing here so early and who let you in?”
“Well that’s a nice how do you do? What’s wrong?”
Amanda sighed and gave Blossom a hug. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just surprised to see you. Where are Julio and the boys?”
“Sleeping. The trip tired them out. I put them in your room, hope you don’t mind.”
Amanda laughed. Just like Blossom to take over her house. “Is Alex home?”
“He was, but he’s gone out. He said to tell you he’d be back later.” She turned to Ray. “Let me get you a beer so we can sit down and have ourselves a little chat.”
Ray reluctantly sat down on the couch and steeled himself for another interrogation. Blossom left no stone unturned. She asked about his divorce, his wife, his children, his job, and finally his salary.
“Blossom! You barely just met him. His salary is
so
none of your business.”
Blossom snorted. “What? It is if he’s marrying you.”
Amanda blushed so hard she turned maroon. “We’ve never discussed marriage Blossom, in fact, we haven’t discussed much more than just getting to know each other. Can you please give it a rest?”
Blossom turned to Ray. “Do you have a problem giving me this information?”
Although Ray did, he decided it was easier than fighting it. “I make over ninety thousand."
Both Amanda and Blossom stared at him, eyes wide. Amanda spoke first. “Wow, you make a good living playing with the computer.”
Ray laughed. “Yes I do. I can’t complain. Of course, remember a good part of that goes to my now ex-wife.”
Amanda was still stunned. “Um, oh yeah.”
Blossom decided she had pushed enough for one night. “So how is your visit so far, Ray?”
Ray gave her a recap of what had happened so far, excluding the last few hours.
“Since you came early, you know I’m going to put you to work tomorrow, so you better rest up. I’m going to take Ray back to his hotel; I think he’s had enough of you for one night.”
Ray laughed. “Not at all; I’m glad to finally meet you, Blossom. You’re definitely a hoot.”
“A hoot? Do they use that word up there in Maine?”
Ray reddened. “No, but I do have cable.”
Both girls doubled over with laughter.
~~~
After a day of running around doing the last minute things with Blossom, Amanda had dropped off Ray at his hotel to get ready for dinner. Leeza and Jerry would be there any minute, as well as one of Blossom’s sisters, Trish. Aunt Inez and Aunt Lorena would be there the next morning.
Amanda had just arrived back home when Leeza got there. She had barely put down her suitcases when she started looking around the house.
“Where’s lover boy?”
“He’s not here. He’s at his hotel getting ready. Can you please be good Leeza?”
“What are you talking about, I’m always good.”
Jerry walked in and groaned. “I don’t know what you were thinking, Mandy. You might as well be putting his neck on the chopping block.”
Amanda laughed nervously. “That’s not funny. I’m sure everybody will be fine.”
“Uh-huh. Even I want to put the scare of God into him. He better not mess with my Mandy-Pandy.”
Amanda stared at Jerry for a moment. “Don’t do anything that will piss me off Jerry, or Leeza…or Blossom!”
“Hey, I’ve already said my piece.” Blossom turned to Leeza. “Don’t worry, he seems harmless. They make a cute couple.”
Leeza rolled her eyes. “Oh well if they look good, that’s all that matters, Blossom.
Amanda watched the interchange between the two cousins when the doorbell startled her. “Who can that be?” She looked through the peephole. “Oh no, it’s Randy!”
Leeza laughed. “Bring him on!”
Amanda glared at Leeza. “Don’t you dare! You be nice.”
Amanda took a deep breath, not ready to face her ex, especially with Alex not even home. She opened the door with feigned confidence. She looked at him, barely recognizing him. “Hi Randy.”
Randy, looking very uncomfortable, didn’t say anything, just stood there, looking at her.
Uncomfortable with the silence Amanda asked if he wanted to come in. “Alex isn’t here right now. He’s at work.”
“Oh. I wanted to surprise him. Guess that didn’t work.”
“Well, you can still surprise him, just not right this minute.” She turned to her family. “You remember everyone right?”
He turned to look at her cousins. “Yeah, hi.”
Leeza couldn’t resist. She walked up to him and looked at him suspiciously. “Who the hell are you again?
Amanda gasped, as did Blossom.
Amanda jumped in before Randy could reply. “Do you want to go pick Alex up?”
Randy was visibly irritated, but he took his gaze away from Leeza to answer Amanda. “That would be good. Where’s he at?"
Amanda gave him the information then showed him the door. As he stepped out, she put her hand on his forearm. “This is going to be fine, Randy. I’m glad you came.”
“Right.” He walked away shaking his head and muttering under his breath.
Amanda shut the door. “You PROMISED!”
Leeza smiled sheepishly. “What? I didn’t do anything.”
“Ughhhhh! Can we just get ready to go to dinner?”
“I’ll go get the boys ready. Who’s going to be at this dinner?”
“You all, Kara, Dick, Hilary and Josh, my kids, and whoever else gets here in time. We need to hurry up and get going.”
Everyone scattered to his or her suitcases to get ready.
~~~
Ray was nervously waiting for Amanda’s arrival. This dinner did not sound like a good idea to him; he was totally going to be outnumbered. But, he understood that he was here for just a short time, and everyone wanted to meet him.
His phone rang and when he answered, it was Amanda asking him to come out. He nervously told her he would be right there. He silently hoped for the best and went out to meet her.
She was standing by her car looking fresh, but a little nervous. “Hi, Mandy, you look great.” He looked at the long stream of cars behind hers. “Is this your entourage?”
“I’m afraid so. I have to warn you, my cousins are in rare form.”
Randy looked at the parade of cars and noted that all the women were looking at him like Cheshire cats. He took a deep breath and gave them a little wave. He quickly got in the car. “You wouldn’t have a flask hidden in here would you?”
Amanda giggled. “It’s not going to be that bad. They really are harmless.” She silently hoped that was true.
They arrived at the restaurant, and everyone descended on Ray like an army of ants. Amanda took his arm. “Ray let me introduce you.” She went down the line, everybody shaking Ray’s hand and giving him the once over. She could only imagine how uncomfortable he must be, after all she wished it were over too.
Seated inside, everyone animatedly talked to each other and ordered drinks. The table was huge, so only a select few were able to grill Ray. Leeza made sure she’d sat next to him, and Dick and Kara were on the other side of Amanda. They listened attentively to Ray whenever he spoke. It didn’t take long for Kara to lean over and whisper, “He really seems like Mr. Wonderful. Hang on to him, Mandy.”
Leeza on the other hand, had done the exact same thing Blossom had only much worse. “Can you tell me if you have a criminal record?”
“Yes I can, and no I don’t.”
“Did you ever hit your wife?”
Ray bristled. “No.”
“Are you a good father?”
“I think so. Can I buy you a drink?”
“No. Are you an alcoholic?”
“Leeza! Enough! Can you please let Ray eat?” Amanda turned to Ray, “Trade places with me.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” She took their plates and drinks and swapped places. Sitting next to Leeza, she shot her a smug look. “Now you have to go through me.”
“That’s fine, I’m done anyway. I think I will have that drink, Ray.”
Amanda leaned closer to her cousin. “Buy your own damn drink.”
The rest of the night was uneventful, everyone finally settling down to enjoy dinner, and some even ordering dessert. Elisa and Tom had sat across from Ray, they conversed pleasantly, and at one point, Tom had mouthed his approval at Amanda.
Then it happened. Amanda had wished she had seen this coming, but it never occurred to her it would be the breaking point of the night. Ray got up to go to the bathroom! He was barely out of earshot when the hens started cackling.
“Oh my God, he’s adorable!”
“He’s so patient, he didn’t even try to kill Leeza.”
“He’s a keeper Mandy”
“He seems so nice, where did he come from again?”
“Did you guys
do
it yet?”
Amanda looked at everyone and smiled. She raised her beer and toasted her family, her friends. She finally raised it one time and said, “To my axe murderer.” Everyone laughed hysterically, as if never hearing that before.
~~~
Graduation day was a busy one. Alex had rehearsals all day, and Amanda was busy getting everything together. Everyone would be going to the ceremony together, then back for the fiesta at the house. It was going to be a good-sized gathering, with lots of food and commotion. Amanda hoped no one would call the police.
Aunts Lorena and Inez had arrived that morning. Everyone wanted to help by making his or her signature recipes. The house smelled delicious with the various aromas wafting through the open house. Amanda loved how the house felt when her family came and it contained everyone she loved, bustling about, filling her home, reminding her of what a close-knit bunch they were. Even when their individual busy lives kept them at a distance, when they got together it was as if they hung out everyday.
Amanda and Ray had gone to pick up the cake, balloons and yes, an air horn for the ceremony. Amanda couldn’t believe how nervous she was. Her baby was graduating, moving on to adulthood. Amanda looked at the congratulatory balloons she had bought and started to cry.
“How did I get this old?
Ray put his arm around her, alarmed at her sudden tears. “You’re not old, honey. Your kids are.”
Amanda couldn’t help but smile. “It seems like just yesterday I was powdering his bottom, Ray. Now, who knows what will happen. Will he go away to college? Will he move out on his own? Move closer to his dad? I have no idea what’s going on and the only deduction I can make is that I’m going to end up alone!” She blew her nose into a tissue that had miraculously appeared in her hand. “What do I have left?”
Ray’s heart broke for her. “You have me.”
She looked up into his eyes. “This is true,” Her bottom lip protruded even further, “but you live three thousand miles away!” She cried harder. “I seem to be losing control of my life!”
Ray knew there would be no consoling her at this point. He said nothing, but he held her against his shoulder until her tears subsided.
“We better get back. Do I look okay?”
Ray looked at her running mascara, her mussed up hair, her red swollen eyes, and her bright red nose. “You look beautiful.” He tenderly kissed her, wanting to take away all her pain.
“Yeah, right.” She smiled up at him. “Have I told you yet how happy I am that you’re here?”
Ray put his arm around her, “You are? I’m so glad, Mandy. I was afraid my being here was making it harder, with all your family being here and all. I’m glad to hear I’m helping.”