When You Least Expect It (57 page)

             
“Just being here with me is helping.  Otherwise I’d be doing all this by myself.”  Trying to change the mood, she handed him the balloons.  “See, you can carry the balloons.”

             
Ray laughed.  “Oh. I’m here for that kind of help.  I see how it is.” 

             
Amanda’s emotional moment was over, so they hurriedly continued with their shopping, as she was anxious to get home to see Alex.

~~~

              Once home, Amanda was happy to see how everything was falling into place.  Everything was prepared and ready for the party. Meat was cooked, chips were in bowls, side dishes done, and there was Aunt Inez’s infamous homemade salsa. “I can’t thank you all enough!  This is great; I don’t know how I would have done it without you.”  Amanda was amazed, and very grateful.  “Where’s Alex?”

             
“He’s getting ready.  He has to be there two hours early, so his friend is picking him up.”  Hilary put her arm around her sister.  “How are you holding up, sis?  You look horrible.  Have you been crying?”

             
Amanda looked down.   “Yes, but just a little.  Is it noticeable?”

             
Hilary smiled and led her to a mirror.  “What do you think?

             
Amanda gasped!  “Ray, you said I looked beautiful!”

             
Ray reddened.  “Well, you do.  You just look a little disheveled.”

             
Hilary and Blossom looked at each other.  In unison, they both shouted, “Oh man, love
is
blind!”

Amanda rushed to her bedroom to get ready.  She washed her face was reapplying her makeup when there was a knock on her door.  “Come in.”  She turned and tears instantly formed. 

“Hi Mom, how do I look?”  Alex stood at the bedroom door in his cap and gown.

Amanda went to him and touched his face.  “You look indescribably handsome” She hugged him for a long moment.  “Alex, I’m so proud of you.  You’re doing a great job in becoming a man.  Your future lies ahead of you, and I know that you’re going to do wonderful things.”  She looked up at him, tears rolling down her cheek. 

Alex wiped at her tears.  “Mom, don’t cry.  This is a big day for me!  I’m finally out of high school.  I graduated.  Be happy for me.”

“These are happy tears, Al” She wiped the last of them away.  “But now I’m done.  There will be nothing but smiles from here on out.  When they call your name, look up at the stands, because I’m going to be cheering the loudest!” 

Mom and son hugged for another moment, but this time there were tears in Alex’s eyes.  “I love you, Mom.  Thank you for everything.”

Amanda looked at her sons’ tears and her heart melted.  “You deserve it.  Now go and graduate!”

Amanda sat on the bed, giving herself a minute to recover.  There were so many emotions running through her right now, she didn’t know which one to concentrate on.  She opted for happy.  This was her job as a mother.  She had raised her children to the best of her ability.  She tried to keep them safe and on the right track.  She worked to help them gain their independence and to make good decisions for their life.  She had done her job.  Not only should she be proud of Alex, but she should also be proud of herself.

~~~

As the group sat on the bleachers waiting for Alex’s name to come over the loudspeaker, they did what they did best…gossip.

Dick, who was sitting in front of Amanda, turned to Ray.  “It takes a while, but eventually you’ll get used to this bunch of cackling hens.  They’re like old women sitting at the beauty salon with nothing better to do than gossip.”

Amanda slapped the back of his head.  “Yeah and you are usually sitting right along with us, so don’t act all macho in front of Ray.”

Dick laughed.  “Whatever, dude!  Ray, I’m just kidding.  Amanda is a great girl; I love her like a sister.  You’d be lucky to have her.  Just ask her other two husbands.”

Amanda gasped out loud.  “Oh no you didn’t!  You had better run Dick, because I’m about to push you down these bleachers!”

Aunt Inez interrupted.  “You guys better listen, their about to call Alex’s name!”

All eyes looked down at the field. 

”There he is!”  Elisa pointed down to the front.  “See his white Nike’s?”

He was three graduates away from receiving his diploma.  Amanda got her air horn ready.  “Now when they call his name, don’t forget to cheer as loud as you can, and let all the balloons go!” 

Amanda’s eyes never left Alex.  As soon as they heard his name, there was mayhem in their section of the stands.  The air horn was so loud Amanda went deaf.  But she didn’t miss when her son stood in front of the stands, diploma in one hand and both arms raised in victory.  He had done it!  She fought back tears, she’d never been prouder.  It was a great moment in all their lives.

~~~

Ray sat at the table, enjoying all the food Amanda’s aunts had made.  He’d never tasted anything like it; he hoped Amanda cooked as well as them.

As he dipped his chip in the salsa, he looked over and noticed Amanda’s ex-husband sitting two seats down.  He looked around for Amanda, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.  He saw her dancing away with Dick.  She looked happy, which made him smile.

“Have you met Dick yet?” Randy was directing his question towards Ray.

“Yes, I have, he seems like a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I’ve known him forever, but when we got divorced, he stayed close with Mandy.  We still talk, but I feel as if I let him down, too.”

“That happens in divorce sometimes, your friends have to pick sides.” 

“He probably chose the right side.  I hurt Mandy.  I am such a louse, I don’t deserve the way she treats me.  Even after all I’ve done to her; she seems to have forgiven me.”

Ray’s comfort level had decreased by ten notches, at least.  “She has a big heart.  She’s a very loving person.”

“That she is.  She deserves the best.  I regret some of the things I’ve done to her but I can’t take them back.  I just have to live with them.”

Ray glanced over at him wondering where Randy was going with this.  He wasn’t quite sure how to respond.  “Well, I agree with you about one thing, she deserves the best, and if she lets me, I’m going to make sure she has it.”  He stood up, wanting this conversation to end. 

Randy continued to sit and stare at Amanda.  “You do that, buddy.  You’ve got to do better than I did.”  He smiled at Ray, although not altogether sincere.  “Good luck.”

              Ray walked away without acknowledging him.  He searched out Amanda, needing to be with her.

Amanda watched the exchange out of the corner of her eye.  She watched Ray walk over to her, she held out her hands while still dancing.

“Dance with me?”

He sprinted over to the dance area and kissed her on the cheek.

“I saw you in deep conversation with Randy.  Everything okay?”

“It’s fine. Oh, you’re ex-husband is a putz.”  He put his arms around her and they danced close, even though it was not a slow song.   “I’m very happy to be here with you Mandy; to meet your family, and that you allowed me to be a part of this.  Thank you.”

Amanda looked to her left side, noticing Dick and Randy were dancing together.  She laughed at them, then feeling awkward, took Ray’s hand and led him back to the table.  “I need a drink!”

Ray ran off to find her one, and Blossom came over to sit with her.  “You’re too much, girl.  Why are you over there dancing with the three men closest to you like it’s nothing?”

“It is nothing.  I was dancing with Dick, my closest friend, Ray my boyfriend, and Randy the father of my children.  What’s wrong with that?”  She looked over at Ray.  “So do you like him?”

“I think he seems very nice, and he’s so into you.”

“Yeah, I kind of like him too.  He just seems to fit here don’t you think?”

“I think he’d fit anywhere you were.  All he sees is you.” 

They watched him as he made his way back with her soda.  Blossom was right, even with all the people milling about his eyes never left her.  It made Amanda blush.

“Here you go, Gorgeous.”  He sat next to her, never even looking at Blossom.

“No, thanks Ray, I’m fine, thank you.”

Ray looked at Blossom as if trying to figure out what she meant.  “Oh god, do you want something to drink?  I’ll go get you something, what would you like.”

Blossom cackled.  “No, I just wanted to remind you there are other people at this party, not just Amanda.”

He reddened.  “So I’m that obvious, huh?”  He took Amanda’s hand and kissed it.  “It’s just that I feel so lucky to be with her, and my time with her is so limited, I want to devote every minute to her.” 

Blossom stared at them, noting how much love there was in his eyes when he looked at her cousin.  She stood up.  “I think I’m going to be sick.”  She stomped off looking for her husband to see if he still looked at her in the same way.

Alex, Elisa and Tom came and sat with their mom.  “How’s it going, Mom?”

“Well, Alex, it seems to be a great party.  Are you having fun?”

“Yep, it’s a good party.  Food is good, and I even get to listen to the kind of music that I like.”

Elisa laughed.  “Can’t we listen to some country?” 

Alex looked at her as if she had three heads.  “What, are you crazy?”

“No, we should, Mom loves country.”

Amanda came to life.  “Let’s play ‘Friends in Low Places’ by Garth, and we can all sing together like when you were little Alex!  That would be so much fun!”

Alex groaned.  “Not Garth, Mom, anything but Garth.”

Amanda and Elisa tugged at his shirttails.  “Pleeaassee?”

He relented.  “Fine, but I’m not singing.”

“Yes you are!”  Amanda ran to the DJ to have him play it.  She took the mike away from him for a moment.  “Hi everyone!  I just wanted to take a minute to thank you all for coming, especially those who came from far away.  It is a very special occasion for all of us, but especially Alex, who, thank God, graduated today.  I’m very proud of you, Al.  I want to congratulate you, and tell you that I know you will continue to make me proud. Congratulations, son!”  Everyone broke into applause.  “I want to dedicate this song to all of you, and if you know the words, please join in.  Alex, Elisa and I are going to start you all off.  Maestro?”

Garth came over the loudspeaker, and even though Alex had said he wasn’t going to sing, they stood together with their arms around each other and sang about beer chasing their blues away.   Amanda was ever so grateful for her children, her family, her life, and yes, Ray, who sat watching them, clapping along and looking like he belonged right where he was…in her life.

Chapter 41

Amanda and Ray were on the way to the airport.  Both were quiet and lost in their own thoughts as the car sped through the desert, the tumbleweeds rolling past. 

              Ray hardly noticed.  Consumed by the thought of leaving Amanda again, he felt tormented.  He wondered if this was better, if knowing how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be with her, was better than never knowing her at all.  Leaving her was so painful; it was like ripping out his heart and having her hold it until they could see each other again.  When would that be?  They’d go back to their nightly phone calls, their emails, and the ache of loneliness that he felt after each one.  He couldn’t stand it.

             
He looked at Amanda who was holding the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles were white.  “Are you okay?”

             
“I’m fine.”  She couldn’t look at him.  She didn’t want him to go, but didn’t know how to tell him.  She was tired of their relationship being long distance, she wanted him here, and not just for five days, for always.  She wanted to share her life with him on a daily basis.  She wanted to go to work every day knowing when she got home he would be there, not the empty house that existed now.  Her kids had one foot in their adult life, she wanted someone to stand at the doorway with her and bid them goodbye, happily because that’s what a mother does.  She didn’t want to stand there bitter, left alone with no one to help take away the emptiness of the nest.   But, how do you say that to someone you are about to put on a plane, a plane that would fly him to his own life, his own trials?

             
Amanda fought the urge to cry out as she took the exit to the airport.  She parked in the garage and they sat for a minute without saying anything.

             
Ray spoke first.   “You know, you don’t have to come inside if you don’t want.”

             
She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.  “I want to see you off, Ray.  It’s so hard, though.”

             
“I know. It is for me too.  I need to check in though, Mandy.”

             
She opened the car door.  “Let’s go.”