Where I Belong (Alabama Summer) (11 page)

He looks over at me like I’ve just asked him the most
ridiculous question. Deep crease in his forehead and a curious frown. “Are you
kidding? Look how you are with Nolan.”

I shake my head in disagreement. “Nolan’s easy though. He’d
probably love anybody that played knights and princesses with him.”

“You’re not just anybody. You knighted my son, which he
hasn’t stopped talking about, you gave him this amazing memory tonight, and he
does the nose thing with you.”

I furrow my brow, confusion setting in. “The nose thing? Oh,
you mean when he runs his finger down your nose? That thing?”

“Yeah. Do you know he only does that with me?” He pulls off
the highway and onto the back road leading toward the house. I shake my head
and he sees it before continuing. “I’ve never seen him do that with anybody
else. Not Tessa, not my parents, and definitely not his mother. I don’t know
why he does it, but he’s only ever done that with me.”

I suddenly feel horrible, like I’ve barged in on a private
Ben and Nolan bonding activity. “I’m sorry. He did it to me when he woke me up
the other day and I did it back out of reflex. I didn’t know that was your
thing.”

 “Mia, relax. I
like
that he does that with you.
I like that that’s something you and I share with him. He’s only known you for
a week and he’s already formed this special bond with you. You’d be an amazing
mom.” He pauses, glancing in his rearview mirror. “You’d be better than the one
he has.”

“She’s not good with him?” I only have concern in my voice,
but the thought of someone not being good to Nolan makes my blood boil. I keep
that emotion tucked away though.

Ben shakes his head. “She doesn’t spend time with Nolan
because she wants to spend time with him. She does it to keep him from spending
time with me. She’s never been a good mom to him. When he was a baby, she
refused to breastfeed him because she was so worried that it would
wreck her
body
. I begged her to do it because I knew it would be good for him, and
she still refused.” His hand that is gripping the wheel seems to grip tighter.
“I hate leaving him with her, knowing that he’s probably being neglected.
Something could happen to him because she doesn’t pay attention and the thought
of that…” His voice trails off and I don’t think, I just move.

I push up the flip console and slide across the bench seat,
pulling his free hand into mine. “Nothing’s going to happen to him. You can’t
think like that, it’ll drive you crazy.” He glances over at me, our bodies
pressed up against each other’s. I squeeze his hand the way he did mine when he
was comforting me moments ago. “You’re going to worry about him because he’s
your son, but you can’t let that worry eat you up. Just focus on
your
time
with Nolan. Focus on making him happy every second you’re with him, because
that little face back there should always be smiling.” The truck had stopped in
front of the house sometime during my speech, but I have no idea when. I am
purely focused on easing his troubled mind. Seeing him like this is
heartbreaking.

He stares at me with fascination. “You’ve given my son more
in one week than his mother has in three years. You have no idea what that
means to him. What that means to
me
.” His neck rolls with a deep swallow
as he glances down at our hands that are interlocked in my lap. “How did I not
see this amazing girl nine years ago?” His thumb grazes the skin of my hand,
rubbing it softly.

I don’t know how to answer him, so I watch him study our
hands instead, admiring his features while he admires our connection. His long
dark lashes and prominent cheek bones. He seems drawn to the very sight of our
hands together, but that look of interest doesn’t linger. Exhaling loudly,
almost frustratingly, he slides his hand out of mine and bypasses my gaze to
look at the dashboard. “It’s late. I should probably get Nolan to bed.”

Friends don’t hold hands. Friends don’t sit this close. And
Ben knows these things. I don’t care what the rules of friendship are because
I’m not sure I want Ben as a friend. Not when he makes me feel like this. But
that must be how he’s seeing me because he’s breaking our contact. I slide back
over to my side and open my door, jumping out of the truck. I open the back
door and lean my head inside, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s temple. “Goodnight,
Sir Nolan,” I whisper, seeing him stir a bit. I look up front at Ben whose
bright gray eyes are studying me. “Goodnight, Ben.”

 “Goodnight,” he says with a smile that seems guarded,
unlike his usual halt me in my place smile that makes me forget how to breathe.

I go to close the door but stop myself, turning back to Ben.
“I’m really sorry I broke your stereo.”

“What?”

I wince at the memory. “Remember the summer before I moved
away? I went to your room to borrow your stereo and I knocked it off your desk,
breaking it. I’m really sorry about that.”

He shakes his head, his brow furrowing. “What made you think
about that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. But, God, I remember how angry you
were. You hated me that day.”

His gaze drops briefly before returning to mine. “Mia, do
you me a favor. Don’t apologize for stuff that happened between us before. You could’ve
broken everything in my room and it wouldn’t have justified the way I treated
you back then. You don’t owe me an apology. Ever. Okay?”

I smile meekly and nod. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I walk inside and go straight to my bedroom, collapsing down
on my bed. Tonight was amazing. It was the best non-date I’ve ever been on. I
loved talking and hanging out with Ben, which seemed crazy considering how much
I used to hate the mere presence of him. The boy I once wished never existed
was now the man I wanted to spend every second with. I wasn’t holding on to
that hate I once had for him anymore. I couldn’t. Not when the man he is now
made me feel things I’ve only read about in books. I was done trying to forget
that I gave him a part of me that no one else would ever touch. I wanted him to
have it. I wanted him to have every piece of me. Benjamin Kelly was becoming
everything I’ve ever wanted and I was finally willing to admit that to myself.

At the very moment my eyes shut, Tessa swings my door open and
walks over to my bed, lying down next to me. I wait for the interrogation to
start, but it doesn’t come, which is shocking. Rolling over, I notice her
worried expression.

“I’m late,” she states, keeping her eyes on the ceiling.

“For…” And then it hits me. Girls only use that wording for
one thing when it’s paired with the look she’s carrying right now. “Oh my God.
What are you going to do?”

She finally looks at me but doesn’t respond. But she doesn’t
have to. Her face is giving away everything she needs to say.

She has no fucking clue.

Ben

I wanted to tell her she looked beautiful that night.

I wanted to wrap my arm around her shoulder and hold her
against my chest when she slid next to me in my truck.

I wanted to kiss those soft full lips before she walked into
the house.

But I didn’t.

I couldn’t do any of those things. Not when I was very clear
about that night not being a date.

I’m trying to earn Mia’s trust and drilling her into my
bench seat isn’t the way to go about it. If I act on my impulses, it will fuck
up the progress I’ve somehow managed to make. She’s talking to me now instead
of brushing me off. She’s spending time with me instead of running away. Or
jumping off cliffs. I can’t lose what I have going with Mia. And my dick can
hate me all it wants, but I am adamant about keeping things friendly with her
for now.

Four days. That’s how long I made it without seeing her
before I found myself driving to my parents’ house after work. And believe me
when I say that those four days were the longest of my life. Thank Christ I had
a job, otherwise I’m certain I would’ve gone completely mental without a
distraction. Luke enjoyed my misery immensely, making sure to point out every
time I brought Mia’s name up in conversation that had everything to do with
work and nothing to do with her. And it
was
misery. Keeping my thoughts
off her tight pussy and focusing on the friendship I was building with her. And
if my own mind wasn’t hard enough to filter on its own, she started throwing
text messages at me that were becoming more and more sexual. Apparently, Mia
and I were now the type of friends that joked around about sex. She was so
fucking comfortable with me now that nothing was off limits to her. And she
didn’t care to ask me if I was okay with that before she shifted us into that
category.

Mia: Do you think
it’s possible to get carpal tunnel from masturbating too much?

This was the first one she threw at me. My brain was
immediately flooded with images of her touching herself, and it took every
ounce of strength in me not to get off before I replied. I should’ve answered
it with something like this;

Me: Mia, I don’t
think that’s an appropriate friend conversation to have. And we’re friends, so
let’s not go there.

But no, I’m a complete shit with zero willpower. So instead,
I answered with this;

Me: If it’s
possible, I’d already have it.

Yup. Now she knew I was jerking off like a mad man. Which
was the God’s honest truth. I was hoping that this was a mistake on her part
and she’d realize her error and never tempt me with another text like this
again. My dick was throbbing enough without the help from the images she was
putting into my head. But apparently, she was just getting started.

Mia: What do you
think is my best feature? Tessa says my legs, but I’m thinking my boobs.
Thoughts?

Thoughts? Really?
I was convinced that she was trying
to kill me. She was an angel and a devil wrapped into one package that I
couldn’t refuse. One that I desperately wanted to bend over my bed and fuck
into tomorrow. I couldn’t ignore her. We were friends, and if this was the type
of friends she wanted to be, then I could be that. I’d be hard constantly, but
let’s face it, being around her was already making that an issue. So I decided
to just go with it and answer honestly.

Me: Tits, mouth,
ass, legs. In that order.

I thought I was golden. I thought I was going to be able to
handle these sexual texts and not have my dick in my hand twenty-four hours a
day. And I would’ve been, if she didn’t up the stakes.

Mia: Do guys prefer
a girl that swallows to a girl that spits? I mean, isn’t the general act of
sucking off a guy enough to make them happy? Does it really matter what I do
with your cum?

Motherfucker.
This text was reread numerous times,
mainly when I was jerking myself off. Especially that last sentence. The
implication of it being my cum in her mouth was too much for me. I was weak.
Weak and hornier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Weak enough to give her
a response.

Me: It’s really
fucking hot when a girl swallows. But yes, the act itself is enough to make
most guys not care one way or the other.

Not a big deal. I was perfectly capable of handling anything
she threw at me. Or so I thought.

Mia: I was so
unbelievably horny today. Guys are lucky. They can just tuck their erections
away and go on about their day like they aren’t sporting wood. Girls can’t do
that. I had to change my panties twice before lunch.

That does it. I wave my white flag in surrender. I don’t
give her a response to that, not by text message anyway. No, my response is in
the form of me pulling up to my parents’ house like a complete dick. I need to
see her, especially after that last text. I should be seeing her to tell her in
person that she couldn’t keep sending me messages like that. But the second her
body comes into view, lounging on a chair next to the pool, every thought is
wiped from my brain. I suddenly can’t remember why I am here, but that doesn’t
stop me from walking around the pool and directly toward her like a man
possessed. Her eyes are closed so she doesn’t see me coming. And then she opens
her mouth and begins singing along to the song that is playing through her ear
buds. I recognize “Crash My Party” by Luke Bryan instantly. It’s an alright
song, but hearing Mia sing it makes me
really
like it. I stand in front
of her, even more enthralled by the sight of her than I usually am as she stays
completely oblivious to my presence. My girl can sing. Her voice is as
beautiful as she is and she’s belting the tune out and tapping her feet on her
beach towel as I enjoy the show. She hums the final notes of the song before
her eyes finally open, meeting the smile that’s been plastered on my face since
she got in my sight.

“Ben! Jesus Christ!” she yells, sitting up and placing her
hand on her heaving chest. Her other hand pulls out her ear buds and discards
them in her lap. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” I reply, thinking back to the night at the
bar when I used the same words on her. Her cheeks react the same way they did
that night, the slight flush that causes her gaze to wander from mine
temporarily until she regains her composure. But she doesn’t have to hide her
reaction to me. I like when I knock her off balance. And right now, I can’t
stop looking at her. She’s all dark hair, slightly tanned skin, and big brown
eyes that regard me with curiosity after she collects herself.

“I, uh, didn’t know you were stopping by today. Are you here
to see Tessa because she ran out for a bit.”

For the first time since Mia’s arrival in Ruxton, I wish we
weren’t alone. I wish my sister was sitting out here by the pool. I can’t be
weak right now, and being alone with Mia in the insanely small bikini she is
wearing is making me weak. No, fuck that. I can do this. I focus on her eyes.
Only her eyes. “I think it’s a safe assumption to make that if I ever stop over
here while you’re in town, I’m not here to see my sister.” Her lips part
slightly as she absorbs my words.
Does she really not know that I’m here to
see her?
I glance down at the neglected book in her lap. “What are you
reading?”

Her eyes follow mine and her fingers graze the cover. “Oh,
um
The Giving Tree
. I haven’t read it since I was little but I can’t
really get into it.” She peeks up at me slowly, taking her time to reach my
face. “You didn’t respond to my text.”

My breath hitches in my throat uncomfortably. I reach up and
rub my neck, suddenly feeling like a shitty friend.
But fuck!
What the
hell kind of response was she expecting out of me? The memory of that text and
of her wet pussy has me contemplating nailing her to the beach chair she’s
reclining on. Leave it to Mia to cut the shit and just straight up call me out
on my neglectfulness. Because if we
are
friends, why wouldn’t I have
responded to her? It won’t surprise me if her next move is to read the damn
message to me out loud and prompt a reply from me that way. And I can’t have
that happen. There’s no way in hell I’d be able to restrain myself if she
actually voiced that message. But I gotta give that daunting stare of hers
something. She’ll never let this go. I know her too well to try and change the
subject. So a lie will have to do.

I stuff my hands into my pockets and try to seem unfazed by
this. But I’m definitely fucking fazed. “I was really busy this afternoon. Luke
and I got called to this domestic violence dispute and it was really intense.
I’m sorry. I actually forgot about your text until just now.”

I didn’t. I could never forget about that text.

“Oh, okay.” She begins chewing on the inside of her cheek,
her eyes flicking away from mine to the pool. She seems hesitant all of a
sudden. The confident girl that was just singing her heart out and ballsy
enough to bring this topic up is nowhere in sight. Until I see it, something
spreading over her, causing her back to straighten and her eyes to narrow in on
mine with a thundering intensity that I’ve never seen before. “You’re going to
respond to it, right?”

Fuck. Me.

“I will,” I promise without a single thought. Christ, this
woman has the ability to unhinge me like no other. I need to get the subject
off that text. I’m going to get hard if I don’t. And damn, if her persistence
isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. She wants me to respond. She needs it.
And I hate making her feel like I ignored her. But I need to focus on something
else, so I do. “Do you know if Tessa’s busy this weekend? I need to work on
Saturday night and I’m going to have Nolan. I was hoping she’d babysit him for
me.”

“I don’t know. She’s got a lot going on right now,” she
states tensely, avoiding my eyes.
A lot going on? Tessa?
Her summer
plans consisted of tanning and chasing after Luke. But Mia seems uneasy all of
a sudden so I decide not to pry. Her eyes return to mine and she smiles. “I can
watch him for you if you want.”

 “Yeah?” I ask, completely stunned by her offer. I
shouldn’t be surprised at anything involving Mia though. The girl seems to
astonish me with each passing day. “You don’t have to do that. I can ask the
old lady that lives a few houses down from me. She’s watched him before when no
one else could.”

She smiles wider and cocks her head playfully. “Do you think
Nolan would rather spend the evening with a princess that knows her way around
a wooden sword, or an old smelly lady that probably has an absurd amount of
cats?”

“An absurd amount of cats?” I arch my brow at her, finding
her thought process completely amusing.

She gives me a raised eyebrow in return. “Oh, I’m sure she
has them. All old women become crazy cat ladies. My grandmother did. She had
eleven roaming through her house.” She scrunches up her nose at the memory. “It
smelled really bad in her house. You don’t want Nolan to make this face, do
you, Ben?” She points to herself, trying to keep the unpleasant look going but
cracking into a smile after a few seconds.

I chuckle. “No, I guess not. I’m sure he’d have more fun
with you anyway.” She nods in agreement, smiling as if she really is looking
forward to giving up her Saturday night to babysit. Could this woman get any
more perfect? “I’ll owe you big time for this so start thinking of ways I can
repay you.”

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and grabs the
sunscreen off the chair next to her. “Oh, I already have a few ideas.” She’s
staring right at me and the heated look in her eyes is hitting me where I don’t
need it to. “I think I’m burning. Would you mind?”

Fuuccckkk.

No. I don’t mind. Not in the slightest. I’m only a man. I’m
not a God. I can’t say no to Mia when she’s staring up at me like she wants me
to do more than just rub sunscreen on her. Because that’s exactly how she’s
staring at me. Ask my cock. I grab the lotion and clear my throat as she spins
around in her chair, offering me her back. This is a test. A test to see if I
can handle touching Mia as a friend. Because friends apply sunscreen to each
other and can do it without it being sexual. I begin applying the lotion onto
the warm skin of her shoulders, feeling the goose bumps pop up against my
touch. She drops her head and moans softly, causing my cock to twitch like a
fucking traitor. But I ignore it, moving down to her back. She moans again, a
bit louder this time, as I lift the string of her bikini, making sure to cover
the area before I put it back in place. I’m only being thorough. I’d hate for
Mia to burn and be in any amount of pain.
Just being thorough.

“That feels so good. I forgot what your hands felt like on
my body.”

Good God.
I don’t want to react to that. This is like
her text messages, only worse. I can’t hide behind the screen of my phone and
jerk off with my free hand. And my cock is having difficulty not reacting. I
pretend like I don’t hear her and run my hands down her lower back, smearing
the lotion on. She does that damn whimpering sound and all the blood in my
veins rushes straight to my dick. That’s it. I have to get out of here. I pick
the bottle of sunscreen off the ground and drop it over her shoulder and into
her lap.

“I gotta go. I’ll drop Nolan off around three on Saturday.”
I walk away from her with my hard on, thinking back to her last text message
about being able to tuck it away, making it less obvious. I do just that with
an agitated shake of my head.

“Oh, okay. See ya!” she yells out, but I don’t turn to look
at her. I can’t.

Christ, the fucking sounds are filling my ears again and I
need a release. I get in my truck, liking the distance my parking spot gives me
from her and pull out my painful hard on. I stroke it fast, keeping my grip tight
to not prolong my climax. I need to do this and get the hell out of here before
I fuck everything up.