Where Old Ghosts Meet (2 page)

The other envelope Nora had seen once before, many years ago. She hadn't thought about it in years.

The kitchen had been empty, her mother nowhere to be seen. Maureen's school bag had lain abandoned on the table. A letter with foreign stamps sat on the mantelpiece, propped against the clock. She took it down, examining every detail, and returned it to the exact spot where she had found it. Then she went into the back bedroom where she knew Maureen was waiting.

“It's from the Da's da,” Nora announced without preamble, cutting her sister off before she could draw breath.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Maureen slowly unravelled herself and followed, with eagle eye, Nora's every move. “You mean the grandfather who's supposed to be in America?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Nora, “the very one.” She threw her sister one of her know-it-all looks. “And he's not in America, he's in Newfoundland, in Canada.”

“And how in the name of God would you know that? Nobody knows anything about him.”

“The postmark, stupid, the handwriting of an older person … I've just put two and two together, but I bet I'm right. Besides, who else would be writing to the Da from Newfoundland?”

“Where's that?”

“Somewhere in Canada.”

“He must be a real oul' fella by now, seventy years old or more.” Her eyes searched the room, darting hither and thither. “Wouldn't you wonder what he's like?” She shifted in the hollow nest of the bed, eyes dancing. “Maybe he's a cowboy or even a film star … like, like, Roy Rogers! He might even have a bundle of money stashed away somewhere and is looking for someone to leave it to.”

Nora turned to face her sister. “Now you're talking. He just might. We could be rich, my girl, as of this very day!”

But Maureen wasn't listening. She had sprung to her feet on top of the sagging bed, her arms flung wide in a dramatic pose. “Maybe, like Oisín, he was carried away on a great white charger, by the beautiful Niamh, her golden hair flying in the wind.” She flicked at her own blonde mane. The bed springs gave a sharp yelp as she struggled to keep her balance. “Gone, gone giddy gone! Off to Tír na nÓg to live forever in the land of eternal youth.” She paused for effect.

Nora jumped in. “Yes, or maybe he's just an oul' reprobate looking for a place to hang his hat!”

Maureen was quiet for a while, then, with a sharp intake of breath, she gave a wild whoop of abandonment and began to sing in her best Yankee drawl:
My daddy he's a handsome devil / He wears a
chain that's five miles long / And on every link a heart does dangle / For
another maid he's loved and wronged.

Then, excited and wild-eyed, she had turned to her sister. “Wouldn't it be a gas to track him down, Nora?”

Now, the question seemed to echo in the quiet peace of the sitting room. Nora smiled at the memory as she slipped the yellowed writing paper from the envelope. She began to read, skimming for information. Then she read again, slowly this time, unconsciously brushing the pages with fleeting images of people and places, the past whispering between words.
I have never been as a father to you,
so I do not presume to call you son …
Blood stranger
… I have no
excuses to offer for my actions in the past that I think can honestly serve any
purpose at this time … There are reasons only the heart can understand and they too, sometimes, fall short. The fact is that I deserted you and your
mother… attempts at making amends went unanswered.
Nora's grip tightened on the other envelope.
My life has not been to my credit …
of little worth … a drifter … seventy-one years old … My dearest wish,
that before I die we could perhaps look upon one another… I cherish the
notion that your children would care to sit with an old man who might
have been a grandfather to them … I have in my possession … items of
value… they are yours…

Nora looked up from the letter. Deep in thought she moved towards the window and drew back the curtains. To the east, a streak of pearly grey light diluted the dark sky. She cried softly, aware now of the great silent void that had existed between him and his family and realizing too late how little they had understood of him and his odd ways. In the end, exposing this very private man's secrets had been so simple. The burden of his silence left her feeling sad and then angry. She made up her mind that the next day she would go to Cullen.

The downpour was relentless. Nora leaned forward, straining to keep her eye on the edge of the road, using the side of her hand to help clear the windshield. The finger sign-post pointed to the right: Cullen 2 miles. She was almost there. She wished that Maureen had come along with her but Maureen had “no interest in seeing the back end of Roscommon on a dirty day in October. However,” she had hastened to add, “down the road, if you come across anything of interest, I'd like to know.”

“Maureen would only be interested if there was drama or loot at the other end,” Nora muttered aloud to herself. “Then she'd be aboard all fuss and business.” Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, the rain eased up and the last droplets hit the windshield with a loud splat. A bit of sunshine would help, she thought as she scanned the sky looking for a break in the clouds.

It was mid-morning as she drove into the small market town, but not too many people were about. “So this is Cullen.” She repeated the name again, wishing it would strike a familiar chord but the sound died on her tongue. Nora knew nothing of this place. It didn't have an identity, not even in her imagination. Cullen, where her father had grown up and gone to school, where her grandmother had lived, had rarely been mentioned in the Molloy household. They had never set foot in the place, not even to visit their grandmother.

It was strange now to stand on the wet pavement in the main street, looking up and down, trying to get a sense of the place, knowing that she belonged here, yet feeling like a complete stranger. It was a drab, dirty little town. A few small shops with dusty, faded window displays stood on either side of the main street. There was a bank, several pubs, a large three-story house with “Hotel” painted in fancy letters on a grubby glass panel above the door. A solid brass doorknob and knocker gleamed bold and defiant on the green, chipped paintwork. Stepping carefully to avoid the filthy puddles, she passed close to a garage with a single petrol pump. The reek of oil hung on the damp air. She stopped to look around. A woman wearing a bib apron and carrying a shopping bag passed by, nodded and hurried on her way. A young man parked his bicycle by a lamp post and stared blankly at Nora. This was a town stuck in the past.

She walked on up the street towards the place where a tall steeple reached into the sky above the treetops. The church with its neatly trimmed lawn was set back from the road and was surrounded by black iron railings. A sign read, Saint Michael's Catholic Church. Next door was a simple but well-maintained school. It was Saturday so there was no sign of life. The gate was slightly ajar so she went through and entered the schoolyard. She tried to picture her father as a little boy running about, yelling and shouting with the other children but that scenario didn't seem to fit. She went to the window and peered through, cupping her hands about her eyes. She fancied she could see him inside seated at a long wooden desk, up at the front of the class, head bent with pen in hand, carefully forming letters in his copybook. He would have been comfortable here, a good student. She left the schoolyard with a new spring in her step, determined to seek out the locals and talk to them. She glanced at her watch. It was lunch time, the shops would be closed, but Muldoon's, the pub down the street, would be open by now. As she walked back down the street her father was still on her mind. He would never have crossed the threshold of Muldoon's pub. No, he had been a teetotaller all his life and wore a Pioneer pin in his lapel, the symbol of total abstinence, for all to see. As she pushed open the door to the bar, she was wondering if Muldoon's had been around in her grandfather's day.

The heavy smell of stale tobacco and porter met her as she stepped inside. Heads turned, followed by a brief lull in the conversation. An L-shaped bar surrounded by several bar stools stood to one side, and on the other there was a small group of tables and chairs. The patrons, all men, were gathered around the bar, with the exception of one old man who sat alone at a table in the corner, nursing his pint. Nora walked to the bar and stood by an empty stool. Two young men to her left nodded in her direction.

The barmaid, a brisk middle-aged woman with a fresh face and a big generous smile, leaned into the bar and asked brightly, “What are ye having?”

“A glass of orange and a ham sandwich,” Nora said, returning her welcoming smile.

“Grand.” She disappeared into a back room.

Nora decided to take a stool at the bar rather than sit on her own at a table. Perched like a hen on a roost was a brave choice but one she had to make if she was to engage anyone in conversation. She looked around her as if a world of interest existed within the confines of this country pub. The conversation opener, she knew, would eventually come. She just had to wait. She shifted uncomfortably. Beside her a man in a dark unkempt suit and a peaked cap leaned against the bar, his back to Nora. She knew by the very set of him, the space he commanded, the look of his clothes, that he was a man of importance, a shopkeeper or a cattle dealer, perhaps. She also knew that despite his apparent indifference to her presence, he had taken stock of her, as she had of him and that he would want to know her business. She tried to ignore his bulk, which seemed altogether too close to her, but in spite of her best efforts, her eyes kept returning to the pink stubbly bulge above his shirt collar. Like a pig's rump, she thought, resisting an urge to reach over and touch the prickly lump with her fingertip.

The woman behind the bar appeared from the back room with two steaming plates of dinner: boiled bacon, cabbage, turnip, potatoes, and set them down in front of the two lads to her left.

“Begob, that'll put fuel in the old tank, boys.” There was laughter. The shopkeeper had broken the ice. He turned slowly to face Nora, shoving his big hands deep into his trouser pockets and drawing himself up to his full height. “Y'er not from these parts now, are ye?”

The answer, she knew, had to be informative and forthright if she hoped to engage him in conversation.

“No, I'm not,” she said. “I'm from Leitrim, but I live in Canada now, Montreal. I'm just home for a short stay.”

“Ah, home from America, so that's it.”

“No, Canada.” She was glad to take a jab at the self-importance of the shopkeeper.

“And what would bring a girl like you to Cullen?” His eyes travelled the length of her.

“My father came from Cullen. His name was Molloy, Eamon Molloy. They owned a small farm around here years ago.” Nora watched carefully.

The shopkeeper contemplated his boots for a minute, finally turned and spoke to the others. “Have ye ever heard tell of a fella from around here be the name of Molloy?”

There were mumbles. “No, never heard tell of that name. No, no Molloys around here, must be farther away towards Boyle they lived. There's Molloys over that way,” one fellow offered.

Nora's sandwich arrived. They talked some more but she was getting nowhere with her inquiries.

The lunch-time crowd gradually got up and left and Nora, disappointed, gathered her belongings and headed back out to the street. Outside, she paused to consider her next move.

The door behind her opened and shut. The old man who had sat alone in the corner with his pint was standing beside her.

“Years ago, I knew the Molloys from below in Ballyslish.”

Nora scrutinized the rough weather-beaten face with its dark eyes set deeply above a high arching nose. A bony hand reached up and made a slight adjustment to his tweed cap as if to set a thought process in motion. Then he put one foot ahead of the other and looked down the main street and off into the distance.

“The Molloys had a small far'um o' land maybe five or six mile out the road. Yer father lived there with the mother as a young ladeen. She was a Dolan from these parts. He went to school down below in the town. I was there meself then. He was a smart ladeen, yer father, got the scholarships and all, and went off to the secondary school, in spite of everything.”

“What do you mean, everything?”

The man looked at her askance and set about adjusting his cap again.

“Do you mean the business with the father?” Nora urged.

“The father I didn't know at all. I think he went off to America and left them high and dry: all alone … the mother and the young fella, Eamon, yer father. That was how I heard it anyways, but I don't rightly know. We didn't see much of Eamon after he went off to the secondary school.” He looked Nora over as if seeing her for the first time. The skinny tip of his tongue appeared and slicked his lower lip. “I thought he joined the priests but I suppose that couldn't be right.”

“No,” she said simply, “that's not altogether right. He did spend some time in the seminary but he left and later married. I'm his daughter. Nora is my name. I don't know yours.”

“Packie Brennan.” He shook her offered hand.

“My father died recently,” Nora said, by way of keeping the conversation going.

“The Lord have mercy on him. It's comin' time for us all.” He looked off into the distance again.

“Mr. Brennan.” Nora felt strange asking this question: “What became of old Mrs. Molloy, his mother?”

He shifted position, again fingering his cap. “Well now, as far as I know, she lived below in Ballyslish for a whileen. During the Troubles, I remember hearing how the Black and Tans ransacked the house one night and then put a torch to it. The story goes she stood her ground, with the young fella by her side, until the flames was lickin' her ankles. After that, they had to move back in with the brother, Mickey Dolan. He lived farther up the way. An oul' bachelor he was and a miserable oul' crathur, to the day he died.”