Where Rainbows End (47 page)

Rosie:

Thanks Steph.

Steph:

No problem. So what are you going to do over there on your own Rosie? I hate you being all alone. Do you want to come over here for a while?

love, rosie

401

Rosie:

No thanks Steph I really have to work. I’m going to throw myself into this job and make it the best damn hotel in the world.

The Grand Tower Hotel

Tower Road,

Dublin 1

Dear Mr. Cronin Ui Cheallaigh,

Following our visit to The Grand Tower Hotel we at the Department of Public Works are sending you an emergency order due to an imminent and substantial hazard to the life, health, and safety of occupants.

After their visit last week, the Department of Building Inspection listed more than 100 code violations, including missing smoke detectors, water damage, and inadequate lighting.

The bathrooms are noted as being unsanitary and during our visit rodents were spotted in the kitchens.

According to our records you have received many warnings over the years to improve the maintenance of the building and you were advised to make the necessary improvements in order to keep the building acting as a hotel. These warnings were ignored and we have no choice but to shut you down.

The business on the ground level may remain open.

Please be in touch with our offices as soon as you receive this letter.

Details of the Health and Safety Act are overleaf.

Yours sincerely,

Adam Delaney

Office of Public Works

from:

Katie

to:

Mum

subject:

Your job

I’m so sorry to hear about you losing your job, I no you hated it but still it’s never nice to have to leave when it’s not your own decision. I couldn’t 402

Cecelia Ahern

reach you on the phone, you’ve either been on the phone all day or they’ve cut you off. Either way I thought I’d e-mail you instead. I completely forgot to tell you that when we returned to Dublin after the funeral that what’s-his-name called around to the flat to see you.

I didn’t want to call you because you were upset enough as it was so I took a message. He dropped in some post that had been delivered to his house for you and said that he hoped that they would be some sort of help to you now that your mum and dad are gone. He said he understood how you felt as his mum died last year and he didn’t want to be the cause of your loneliness.

He seemed sincere but who can ever tell with him. It was odd seeing him after so many years. He’s really aged. Anyway I hope whatever is in the envelopes isn’t too important but let me no what they are all the same. I left the two envelopes in the bottom drawer of the living room cabinet.

S

Dr. Reginald & Miranda Williams

invite
ROSIE DUNNE
to join them in celebrating the
marriage of their beloved daughter

Bethany Williams

To

Dr. Alex Stewart

At

The Memorial Church of Harvard University

& a reception at

The Boston Harbor Hotel

On the 28th of December

RSVP Miranda Williams

S

Rosie,

I’m returning to Boston tomorrow but before I go I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside love, rosie

403

me are finally overflowing into this pen and I’m leaving this letter for you so that you don’t feel that I’m putting you under any great pressure. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say.

I no what’s going on, Rosie; you’re my best friend and I can see the sadness in your eyes. I no that Greg isn’t away working for the weekend. You never could lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Don’t pretend that everything is perfect because I
see
what’s going on. I see that Greg is a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is and it makes me sick.

He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn’t deserve you and
you
deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you,
especially
your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy,
dancing on air happy
. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.

I’m not scared anymore Rosie. I am not afraid to try.

I no what that feeling was at your wedding—it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, another man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. It was like a prison sentence for me. Years ahead without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to.

Twice we stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie.
Twice
. And twice we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too stupid to see that I needed you to be the
reason
for my wedding day. But we got it all wrong.

I should never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Boston. I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should never have wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them up to you. I love you, Rosie, and I want to be with you and Katie and Josh. Always.

404

Cecelia Ahern

Please think about it. Don’t waste your time on Greg, this is
our
opportunity. Let’s stop being afraid and take the chance. I promise I’ll make you happy.

All my love,

Alex

from:

Ruby

to:

Rosie

subject:

Are you OK?

I haven’t heard from you in almost two weeks. Is everything OK? I called around to see you at the flat but Rupert told me you had gone to Galway. You just packed up and left without saying good-bye, something must be up. How long are you planning on staying there and why didn’t you tell anyone?

Your mother’s phone has obviously been disconnected so I didn’t know how else to reach you. I understand that you probably just need some time to yourself, losing parents is really difficult. As much as I complain about how mine were, it was still tough dealing with their loss. I know I joke around a lot but I’m seriously here for you Rosie if you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or even someone to scream at.

I would say I’m sorry that you lost your job at the hotel but I’m not sorry at all. You were better than that hotel; you had bigger dreams that extended far beyond those crumbling walls. Now the world is your oyster.

Please just respond to let me know you’re OK or I’m coming down there myself to check up on you and that’s not a threat, it’s a promise.

406

Cecelia Ahern

Welcome to the Relieved Divorced Dubliners Chat room
There are currently 2 people chatting
LonelyLady:

The guy from my reading group asked me out yesterday. To go out on a date, like. This weekend. Just me and him. But I just don’t know . . .

Wildflower:

You don’t know what?

LonelyLady:

Well I don’t know if I should start dating again. I mean I don’t know if I’m ready, being so soon after Tommy and all . . .

Wildflower:

So soon?
So soon?
In case you haven’t noticed it’s been 10

years
since Tommy left you.

LonelyLady:

Oh. It doesn’t
feel
like 10 years.

Wildflower:

Well if you ever stopped whinging and moaning about how lonely you were, you would be able to think rationally about your life. Which guy in your reading group are you dating?

LonelyLady:

The
only
guy in the reading group.

Wildflower:

I bet the ladies will drop out like flies now. But the all important question for you is, does he have a criminal record?

LonelyLady:

No I checked.

Wildflower:

God, I was only joking! But at least you know your TV won’t go walkabout when you go to the toilet.

LonelyLady:

A luxury which most women don’t appreciate.

SureOne has entered the room

Wildflower:

Well he sounds perfect for you then. I see no reason why you shouldn’t go out with him. Good luck with the date.

SureOne:

LonelyLady are you going out on a
date?

LonelyLady:

You say it like it’s a disease.

Wildflower:

Well it could turn into one I suppose.

SureOne:

No I’m just shocked! But in a good way! Congratulations!

LonelyLady:

Thank you! Hey, you changed your name!

SureOne:

I know, I was granted my annulment. See I told you the love, rosie

407

church had sense. They agree that Leonard is a complete prick.

Wildflower:

SureOne! Well it’s a change to hear that come from you! I’m not quite sure the church thinks exactly
that
but it’s a start . . .

Buttercup has entered the room

LonelyLady:

Well congratulations anyway SureOne.

Buttercup:

Why, what are you celebrating SureOne? (Nice name change by the way.)

Wildflower:

She got her annulment.

Buttercup:

Oh congrats!

SureOne:

Thanks girls!

Buttercup:

So I take it I haven’t missed anything?

SureOne:

No. We haven’t heard from you in a while Buttercup, where have you been lately?

Buttercup:

I’ve been staying in the house in Connemara for the past few weeks. I’ve had a lot of thinking to do.

Wildflower:

Is everything OK?

Buttercup:

No not really.

SureOne:

Do you want to tell us about it? Maybe we can help.

Buttercup:

Well my mother died, I lost my job, and I’m afraid to say the words of the “something else” in case it validates it and causes me to have a nervous breakdown. Because if it becomes true, then it would officially declare the past 10 years of my life to be utterly useless and a waste of time.

LonelyLady:

Well we’re all experts on that subject. You know by now that what goes on in this room, stays in this room, maybe we can shed some light on it for you.

Buttercup:

Thanks. OK then, here goes . . . I came across a letter that was written just after my 30th birthday. A letter that was meant for me but that never made it into my hands. It was from Alex.

408

Cecelia Ahern

LonelyLady:

Oooh, what did he say in the letter?

Buttercup:

Here’s the tough part. He said he loved me.

Wildflower:

Whooooah!

SureOne:

Oh. My. God.

LonelyLady:

No! So where did you find the letter?

Buttercup:

What’s-his-name returned it to me. He “didn’t want to be the cause of my loneliness anymore,” he said.

LonelyLady:

He had kept it all these years?

Buttercup:

Why he would keep it all these years I have no idea. I haven’t quite figured that out yet. Although I never truly figured him out at all while I was married to him. I can’t really think anything now, I’m in so much shock.

Wildflower:

So have you spoken to Alex?

Buttercup:

How can I speak to him, Wildflower? Knowing what I know, how can I even
think
of him?

Wildflower:

Very easily I would imagine. He’s just told you that he loves you!

Buttercup:

No LonelyLady, he told me over 10 years ago that he loved me.
Before
he got married,
before
he had Theo. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. He’s been writing and phoning but the thought of that missed opportunity makes me so sick to the stomach that I can’t respond to his messages.

LonelyLady:

But you have to tell him, you know!

Buttercup:

I was going to. I was half fearful, half excited. I was going to ring him on the phone and say it to him casually at first to test the waters and see how he felt and then go a bit further.

But that morning his annual Christmas card arrived in the post box. With the photo of his wife and two sons on the cover of the card, all wearing colorful knitted Christmas jumpers, Theo with his two front teeth gone, Josh with his beaming smile just like his dad. Bethany hand in hand with Alex. And I couldn’t tell him. What would he care now anyway?

love, rosie

409

He’s married. He’s happy. He’s over me and even if he’s not, I wouldn’t expect him to jump out of that perfect Christmas photo for me.

SureOne:

Take it from me Buttercup, you’re right to leave the family alone.

Wildflower:

But she
loves
him! And he loves her! And everyone airbrushes their photos these days!

SureOne:

What age are you now Buttercup, 42?

Buttercup:

Yes.

SureOne:

Right. He wrote that letter 12 years ago, before he got married. It’s not right to bring it up now. She could break too many little hearts by telling him.

LonelyLady:

SureOne would know, seeing as it happened to her.

Wildflower:

Oh don’t listen to those two Buttercup, you hop on a plane and go to Alex and tell the man that you love him.

Buttercup:

But what if he doesn’t feel that way about me anymore? I’ve never ever picked up on any vibes from him over the past 10

years.

SureOne:

Because he’s
married.
He’s a good man Buttercup. He follows the rules.