Where Rainbows End (8 page)

Stop waiting for who?

Ruby:

For Alex.

Rosie:

I don’t know what you’re talking about! I am
not
waiting for Alex!

Ruby:

Yes you are, my dear friend. He must be some man because nobody can ever measure up to him. And I know that’s what you do every time you meet someone: compare. I’m sure he’s a fabulous friend and I’m sure he always says sweet and wonderful things to you. But he’s not here. He’s thousands of miles away working as a doctor in great big hospital and he lives in a fancy apartment with his fancy doctor fiancée. I don’t think he’s thinking of leaving that life anytime soon to come back to a single mother who’s living in a tiny flat working in a crappy part-time job with a crazy friend who e-mails her every second. So stop waiting and move on. Live your life.

Rosie:

I am not waiting.

Ruby:

Rosie—

Rosie:

I have to get back to work now.

Rosie has logged off

S

Dear Rosie and Katie Dunne,

Shelly and Bernard Gruber proudly invite you to the marriage ceremony of
their loving daughter Sally to Alex Stewart
.

S

from:

Stephanie

to:

Rosie

subject:

No way in the world I’m going to that wedding!

70

Cecelia Ahern

I am so angered by your last letter! You cannot miss Alex’s wedding!

That would be completely unthinkable!

This is
Alex
we’re talking about, not some archenemy of yours! Alex, the boy who used to sleep on a sleeping bag on your floor, the boy who used to sneak into my room and read my diary and look through my underwear drawer! Little Alex, who you used to chase down the road and shoot at with a banana for a gun! Alex, who used to sit beside you in class for twelve years, giggle with you all the time and nobody else would ever know why!

He was there for you when you had Katie. He was so supportive throughout the entire thing when I’m sure it was difficult for him to adjust to the fact that little Rosie who slept in a sleeping bag on
his
floor was having a
baby
.

Go over to him Rosie. Celebrate this with him. Share in his happiness and excitement. Share it all with Katie. Be happy! Please! I’m sure he needs you right now, this is a huge step for him and he needs his best friend by his side. Learn to get to know Sally too as she is an important person in his life now. Just as he has learned to get to know Katie—the most important person in your life. I know you don’t want to hear it, but if you don’t go you will be ending what was once and what still is one of the strongest bonds of friendship that I have ever seen.

I know you are embarrassed by what happened a few years ago when you visited, but swallow your pride, hold your chin up. You are going to be at that wedding because Alex
wants
you to be there for
him
; you are going to be there because you
need
to be there for
yourself
. Make the right decision, Rosie.

Dear Rosie,

Hey there! I have no doubt you have received our wonderful wedding invitation that took Sally about three months to choose. Why, I don’t know, but it seems that a cream-colored invite with a gold border was so much more different than a white invite with a gold border . . . you women . . .

I don’t know if I should be worried or not, but Sally’s mom hasn’t seemed to have received an RSVP from you yet! Now I no I don’t need one from you because I’m just
presuming
you will be there!

love, rosie

71

The reason why I am writing and not ringing is because I want to give you time to think about what I’m asking you. Myself and Sally would be honored if you would allow Katie to be our flower girl at the wedding. We would need to no quite soon so that Sally and Katie can pick out a dress.

Whoever thought this would be happening, Rosie?! If someone had told us ten years ago that
your daughter
would be a flower girl at
my wedding
we would have just laughed and laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. But it is happening. And I can’t quite believe it.

The second question I have to ask you is the one I’m sure you will need to think about. You are my best friend Rosie; that goes without saying. I have no best friend over here. No one that measures up to what you mean to me; therefore I have no best man. Will you be my best woman? Will you stand beside me at the altar? I no I will definitely need you there! And I trust you will organize a better stag night than any of my male friends over here!

Think about it and let me no. And say yes!

Love to you and Katie,

Alex

You have an instant message from: ROSIE

Rosie:

You won’t fucking believe it.

Ruby:

You got a date.

Rosie:

No, worse than that, Alex has asked me to be his “Best Woman.”

Ruby:

I don’t suppose that means you’ll be standing to the left of him in the church??

Rosie:

Eh no . . . to the right.

Ruby:

What about his brother?

Rosie:

He’s an usher or something.

Ruby:

Wow so he really is going ahead with it?

Rosie: Yep. Looks like it.

Ruby:

I think you should stop waiting for him now, honey.

Rosie: I know. I probably should.

My “Best Woman” speech

Good evening everyone, my name is Rosie and as you can see Alex has decided to go down the non-traditional route of asking me to be his best woman for the day. Except we all know that today that title does not belong to me. It belongs to Sally, for she is clearly his best woman.

I could call myself the “best friend” but I think we all know that today that title no longer refers to me either. That title too belongs to Sally.

But what
doesn’t
belong to Sally is a lifetime of memories of Alex the child, Alex the teenager, and Alex the almost-a-man that I’m sure he would rather forget but that I will now fill you all in on. (Hopefully they all will laugh.)

I have known Alex since he was five years old. I arrived on my first day of school teary-eyed and red-nosed and a half an hour late. (I am almost sure Alex will shout out “What’s new?”) I was ordered to sit down at the back of the class beside a smelly, snotty-nosed, messy-haired little boy who had the biggest sulk on his face and who refused to look at me or talk to me. I hated this little boy.

I know that he hated me too, him kicking me in the shins under the table and telling the teacher that I was copying his schoolwork was a telltale sign.

We sat beside each other every day for twelve years moaning about school, moaning about girlfriends and boyfriends, wishing we were older and wiser love, rosie

73

and out of school, dreaming for a life where we wouldn’t have double maths on a Monday morning.

Now Alex has that life and I’m so proud of him. I’m so happy that he’s found his best woman and his best friend in perfect little brainy and annoying Sally.

I ask you all to raise your glasses and toast
my
best friend Alex and his new best friend, best woman, and wife, Sally, and to wish them luck and happiness and divorce in the future.

To Alex and Sally!

OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT. WHAT DO YOU

THINK, RUBY?

You have an instant message from: RUBY

Ruby:

Gag gag puke puke puke. They’ll all love it. Good luck Rosie. No tears and DO NOT drink.

To Rosie,

Greetings from Seychelles! Rosie, thank you so much for last week! I had such a good time. I never really thought I could actually enjoy my wedding day but you made it so much fun. Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone noticed you were drunk for the entire ceremony (maybe they did for the speech—but it was funny), but I don’t think the priest was too impressed when you hiccupped just as I was about to say “I do!”

I can’t quite remember the stag night but I hear it was a great success, the boys just keep going on and on about it. I think Sally is a little angry that she had to marry a man with one eyebrow and I don’t care what anybody says, I no it was you who did it! All the wedding photos are of the left side of my face but it doesn’t matter because Sally says it’s my best side. Unlike you, who says my best side is the back of my head.

The wedding went really well, didn’t it? I thought I was going to be a bundle of nerves all day but you just made me laugh so much I think it helped to get rid of the nervous energy. Although we shouldn’t really have 74

Cecelia Ahern

laughed when the wedding photos were being taken, I doubt we’ll find any decent shots where my face and yours aren’t distorted from laughter. Sally’s family thought you were really terrific. They weren’t really keen on the idea of me having a best woman, to be honest, but Sally’s dad thought you were great. Is it true you made him knock back a shot of tequila?!

My mum and dad were
so
glad to see you and Katie. It’s funny; they say Katie is exactly how you looked when you were eight. I think Mum kind of kept hoping that it
was
you and that I was that age again too. She was very teary that day! But they just wouldn’t stop going on and on about how beautiful you looked in that dress! It’s as if you were the bride!

But you did look beautiful, Rosie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before (not since you were Katie’s age anyway). Well I suppose I would have seen you in one had I made it to the debs all those years ago. God, listen to me. I sound like an old man reminiscing on years gone by!

Everyone said the best woman speech was brilliant, I think all my friends have a crush on you. And no, you can’t have their phone numbers. By the way Rosie, you
were
my best woman that day and you still are my best friend. Always will be. Just to let you no.

Married life is going well so far. We’ve only been married ten days so we’ve only had let’s see . . . ten fights. I’m sure somebody told me that was healthy in a relationship . . . I’m not worried. The place we’re staying in is fabulous, which I’m glad about because it’s costing us an absolute fortune.

We’re staying in this little wooden hut-type place that’s built on stilts high up over the water. It’s beautiful. The water is that turquoise green color that you can see through right down to the multicolored fish below. It’s paradise; you would love it. Now, this is the hotel you should work at Rosie. Imagine your office being the beach . . .

I would just love to laze on the beach and drink cocktails all day, to be honest, but Sally always has to be doing something so every second I’m being dragged into the sea or I find myself flying in the sky hanging out of some odd contraption. I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides to eat our lunch while scuba-diving.

Anyway I bought you and Katie presents so I hope they arrived to your house safely and that they weren’t crushed in the post. They’re supposed to love, rosie

75

be a kind of a good luck charm over here but I no you always loved collecting shells on the beach when we were kids so now you can wear the prettiest ones around your neck.

Well I better go, apparently people aren’t even supposed to send postcards while they’re on their honeymoon, never mind writing novels for letters (according to Sally—so I must go). I think she wants to do something crazy like be dragged around on water skis by a dolphin.

God help me, what have I gotten myself into?!!

Love,

Alex

PS: I miss you!

You have an instant message from: RUBY

Ruby:

I spotted you out the window coming into work, what the hell are you wearing around your neck? Is it shells?

Rosie:

It brings luck.

Ruby:

Uh-huh. Any luck yet?

Rosie:

I didn’t miss my bus this morning.

Ruby:

Uh-huh.

Rosie:

Oh piss off

Rosie has logged off

from:

Rosie

to:

Ruby

subject:

You’ll never believe this

I’m faxing you over a letter Sally sent Katie. Let me know what you think.

To Katie,

Thank you for being my flower girl at my wedding last week. Everybody said that you looked beautiful, just like a real little princess.

76

Cecelia Ahern

Myself and Alex are now on holiday in a place called the Seychelles, just where your mummy wants to live. Tell her it is lovely, very hot and sunny, and you can show her the photograph of me and Alex lying on the beach to show her what it looks like here. We are very happy and very much in love.

I am enclosing a photograph of you, me, and Alex on our wedding day so you can frame it and put it up in your house. I hope you like it.

Ring us soon.

Love,

Sally

You have an instant message from: RUBY

Ruby:

Sounds like the bitch is just pissing around her man to mark her territory.

Rosie:

By sending a letter to an 8-year-old little girl??!!

Ruby:

Well she obviously knew that it would get into your hands. That’s cruel alright. What did Katie say?

Rosie:

Oh nothing much, I don’t think she realized what Sally was doing.

Ruby:

Don’t let Sally worry you. She’s just trying to let you know who the woman is in Alex’s life now. Anyway why is she doing this, did you do anything to make her feel threatened?

Rosie:

No way! As if!

Ruby:

Rosie?

Rosie:

Oh OK then maybe she felt just a little threatened by the fact that Alex and I had a better time at her wedding than she did.

Ruby:

Bingo!

Rosie:

Yes but that’s the way we always are Ruby, it wasn’t flirting, it wasn’t anything. It was just happiness. However she did not crack one smile for the whole day, she just kept sucking her cheekbones in and pouting at everyone.

Ruby:

OK I believe you, but millions wouldn’t. Anyway, don’t rise to her, just ignore it.