Where She Belongs (12 page)

She
tiptoed down the stairs, wanting to stomp, to whine, to run across
town and throw herself into Gabe’s arms. His bed. His life.

Those
last ones, she needed to stomp down right away. Or kick them across
the country, right into the ocean.

In
the kitchen, she turned the kettle on for tea. Normally, when she was
up in the middle of the night she would text Gabe with her problems.
He'd reply in the morning with a rational solution and she could feel
better about her day. It was tempting not to text him now.
Up in
the middle of the night because of you
. Wouldn't that spur him
on?

What
would he reply? She mused while she leaned against the counter.
Good.
Means you are taking me seriously
. She was taking him seriously,
wasn't she?

Steam
poured out of the kettle. Shanna removed it from the heat and dumped
the water over the tea bag. She took the mug to the table to let it
steep.

What
frustrated her most, about everything, was how easy it was to be with
Gabe. When she looked at him, she saw home and comfort. She could
depend on him. When he spoke her name, her heart soared. When he
touched her, shivers went down her spine.

She'd
spent far too much of her life trying not to imagine what it would be
like if he touched her intimately. Would she tremble, swoon, or lay
back and open herself for more?

She
shook her head. She need space, to get away from him. Not get closer.

Trenton.
A good dose of Trenton would solve things. She got her cell phone
from her purse and texted him. He wouldn't be up, he had a strict
bedtime policy. Even on weekends. After the text had been sent, she
opened the latest file he'd sent– the presentation parameters
he'd been given. Could she type him a template?

It
wasn't as good as crawling into bed next to him and laying in his
arms.

Not
that Trenton had ever been particularly affectionate. At least not
spontaneously. He responded to her requests for cuddles and hugs, but
even when they slept in the same bed together, he disliked if she
snuggled him. He didn’t like to hold hands or kiss her while
they were in public. It bugged her for quite some time, but she’d
gotten used to it now.

She'd
take what she'd get, given the circumstances. She drank her tea while
she started her template for his presentation.

Gabe’s
physical affection had startled her at first when he first touched
her. Then it frustrated her and right now it made her long for
something more. She wanted what she couldn’t have. What she
shouldn’t want.

Once
her tea was gone, she started to feel sleepy, so she went back
upstairs. But she couldn't resist one last message.
You owe me a
coffee in the morning.

*
* *

In
the morning, Gabe left a mug of coffee on Shanna's desk with a note:
Why did I owe you this?

Since
the text was sent after midnight, he had a pretty good guess. His
words had kept her up.

He
smiled as he listened to his phone messages, writing up notes and
prioritizing his day. Meetings, endless meetings, endless talking
with people and discussions and feeling like very little had been
done. Being Bryce was tiresome.

For
Shanna, he’d do anything.

In
the short time she’d been working with him, he saw her
confidence grow in leaps.

Instead
of deferring to him, or asking him before she made a decision, she
would reply to questions, answer e-mails and make decisions.

They
weren’t always what he would have done or what Bryce might have
done, but they had all turned out better than he guessed.

It
was every bit a coming of age as college or a first job was. Maybe
even more so for Shanna. Trenton had kept her stunted for a long
time. Away from him, she was blooming, she was growing, she was
shining.

Maybe
the last one was a stretch. Maybe it was because of his feelings. Or
what he still hoped, believed would happen. What he needed.

Slow...
slow and steady. He had time to expose Trenton as a fraud, as a user,
and he had time to make her remember that she still loved him. He
needed to be patient.

He
pushed back from his desk, needing to get his day started. Shanna had
intentions of going to the hospital in early afternoon to see Bryce.
He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. To maximize the
amount of work they could get done. Of course.

*
* *

Shanna
left her Dad's hospital room to try Trenton for the third time on
Saturday night. When she'd talked with him the previous night, he
hadn't said anything about going out. She didn't have a problem with
it if he had, she worried about him now because he was unreachable. A
little courtesy would have been nice.

She
rubbed her arms as she stood outside, counting the rings. "This
is the personal voice mail of Trenton von Brooke."

She
growled at the phone while waiting for the voice mail message to end.
"Trenton, call me as soon as you get this because I’m
imagining you are dead in our apartment or on a street corner."

She
ended the call and looked out into the evening. There was a park
close by the hospital and she could hear children enjoying the last
rays of sunshine. Despite the late spring date, there was still a
chill in the air. She rubbed her bare arms.

A
coat wrapped over her shoulders. She recognized the scent
immediately. "Stalking me?" She'd left him in the room
talking with her father about sales reports due next week and if they
thought the numbers would be as high as predicted. Not that she
didn't enjoy the business, but sometimes taking a break was nice.

"Worried
about you."

She
screwed up her face. "Why? Because I'm frustrated that Trenton
is sometimes less than perfect?"

"Because
your world is upside down and it's hard on a person." He sat on
the wooden bench and patted the spot beside him. "Because we all
thought your Dad would be home by now."

"If
they don't let him go home soon, he will go crazy. Or I'll take pity
on him and sneak him some reports and a laptop with access to the
office so he doesn't drive himself and us mad with questioning."

"I
know. It's hurting me to watch him go through the withdrawal. But I
worry that letting him work will do more harm."

"The
stress of not working might outweigh the stress of working."

She
sat beside him and realized all her annoyances with him had
disappeared. He was the only thing she had to lean on now. She needed
him. He was the only one strong enough to help her through this.
She’d always thought he could do anything. Even though she
wasn’t a little girl anymore, she started to believe it was
true.

"Except
he doesn't have an office. I'm not done with his computer yet."

"He
won't be allowed back in the office until well after you've left
town. I promise. Once he's home for a bit, I'll think on letting him
work from home."

She
leaned on his shoulder. "You think you have that much control
over him?"

"No,
but your Mom does, and I know she is on my side."

They
laughed and he put his arm around her. "I'm glad you can still
laugh with me."

"Even
though I won't go back to the way I felt about you before, I care
about you a great deal. You've been there for me more times than I
can count."

"You
really did do an amazing job today. I didn't tell your dad a story
for your ego."

"I
decided to come clean with Trenton when I get home. It's only fair."

"If
you went home and he told you that he'd kissed another woman while
you were gone, would you still say yes if he proposed ten minutes
later?"

"I'd
have a few days of being upset, but I'd get over it. I'd make him
pay. though. But if he's going to dump me over it, then I guess it
will be for the best." She'd tell him everything, the kisses,
her talks with Gabe the last five years... the entire friendship
slash emotional affair. How she'd always been in love with Gabe, a
little.

Once
the air was cleared, she could accept his ring with a good
conscience. And she could leave the teenage dream part of her life
behind. Hiding it and holding him were keeping her from truly
committing herself to Trenton. Now she could let go and maybe even
stop relying on Gabe to fix her life. He wouldn't always be around.
Eventually, she would have to stand on her own feet.

The
thought of not having Gabe in her life filled her with dread. Like
puking. He wasn't only her best friend, he was part of her family.
Maybe Trenton would have to concede on the issue and let Gabe have a
tiny spot in her life.

She
snuggled closer to him. It was so easy to justify, she was so tired
and cold and he was warm and strong. If she let herself, she could
fall.

"You're
tense. You need a good massage, but I suppose a bench in public
wouldn't be the best place to start. Perhaps I should take you home
and give you a good working over."

"I'll
wait until I get back to my massager lady when I get home."

"Masseur."

"Huh?"
She struggled to sit up, but he kept gentle pressure on her which
held her. She didn’t try too hard. She gave in to the urge to
close her eyes and relax.

"Never
mind. I suppose I should return you to the hospital room. I need to
head home. I have work to be done.”

"Do
you ever take time off?" she said, trying to keep a teasing note
in her voice, but there was a dose of seriousness to the question.

"I
don't usually work after office hours, actually. But I'm doing mine
and Bryce's work this week."

"Delegate
to others. People who want to show you how much they can do."

“
I'm
too much of a control freak, Shan. "

She
rolled her eyes. "Fine. Go home." She slipped off the coat
he'd draped on her. "Take your coat."

"You
could come and make it more interesting."

She
shoved him with her shoulder. "Goodnight, Gabriel."

Too
bad the idea appealed to her so much.

Chapter 7

Trenton
called minutes after midnight. Shanna was still up in her dad's home
office. Their computer was networked to the work office, so she could
continue what she'd started Friday with Gabe.

"Oh,
thank goodness," she said instead of hello.

"I'm
sorry, baby. I've had a crazy last few days."

She
closed the keyboard tray. "How so?"

"You
know I had a temporary secretary while you were gone, but I've gone
through two this week, because they aren't half as good as you."

"I'm
not irreplaceable."

"That
remains to be seen."

He
would have to find a replacement when she returned. She was done
putting off her own life. "What did you do?"

"You
know Kendall Cooper, right? You met her at my parent's place."

Sure,
she was the same age as Shanna. She didn't strike Shanna as the
brilliant type, she liked to skate by on Daddy's money. Somehow she
had managed to graduate from college, probably from buying her
papers, or the profs or who knows; her father was rich enough to buy
the college if he wanted.

"You
do realize I'm only gone one more week."

"I
know, but you are busy out there and I don't want you to feel
stressed about trying to do two jobs at once."

He
was thinking of her. Her anger dissipated. "Oh, baby, that's so
sweet. I know I've been neglecting you quite a bit."

"A
little. I want to get this all behind you. When you get back, we can
discuss our future together."

"Yeah?"

"Of
course, baby. We've talked about our future before. Father thought it
was probably a good idea to start on it right away."

His
father thought? Of course, his father had thoughts on her marriage
proposal. Had Trenton ever had an idea that didn’t involve
Byron’s input?