Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela (30 page)

would have been, so he quickly offered, ―‘Til later when I was alone

with Trudy.‖

Nick looked up sharply, asking, ―Then what?‖

―Then I told Trudy I didn‘t want to be married to Linda anymore,

that I never really did.‖

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A sparkling smile, rivaling any marquee Broadway had to offer,

gleamed at Logan as Nick enthused, ―You did? That‘s great, so

what—‖

Before Nick could get too worked up, Logan cut in, ―Trudy cut

me off at the knees.‖

―Meaning what?‖

―Meaning she blew me off.‖ Logan grabbed a few napkins and

wiped his mouth before finishing, ―Said I was bailin‘ out because I was

afraid of all the hard work ahead and she wasn‘t gonna let me do it.‖

He punctuated that statement by tossing the used napkins in the

wastebasket. ―Let‘s unload the parts.‖

He turned to find Nick standing stock-still with his hands on his

hips, frowning at him. ―Wait a minute. Trudy said that, and then you

said…?‖

―I said….‖ Logan slammed his tailgate down and hoisted the first

box out the truck bed, mumbling, ―She was right.‖

Nick appeared next to him and accepted the box as he glared at

Logan, snapping, ―Why the fuck did you say that?‖

Logan watched Nick put the box next to the T-bird and ran a hand

through his hair, muttering, ―I don‘t know.‖ He turned to get another

box and added, ―She‘s just thinkin‘ of my family—more ‘an I am,

seems like.‖

When he handed the next box off to Nick, Logan was stunned to

see a softened expression on his face. ―Aren‘t you part of your family,

Logan?‖

―Of course I am.‖

―Then you got as much right to be happy as they do,‖ Nick

grunted as he moved the heavy box next to the other one. ―And Trudy‘s

not your sister, by the way.‖

It was Logan‘s turn to stare in shock. ―Well, thanks for the

newsflash. What kind of mushrooms were on your part of the pizza?‖

Nick walked over and put a hand on Logan‘s shoulder. He gave it

a squeeze, explaining, ―You‘re following an old pattern here, don‘t you

see? Daisy made you sacrifice what you felt was the right thing to do

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for the sake of your brother, now you think you have to listen to Trudy

and sacrifice your own happiness for your wife and daughters.‖

As he unpacked the reconditioned parts, Logan searched

desperately for a way to refute Nick‘s analogy, but the frustration and

resignation he‘d experienced in Trudy‘s office the night before was just

too familiar. He hadn‘t made the connection himself, but now he

remembered feeling the same way eighteen years earlier as a teenager,

wilting under Daisy‘s lecture about the necessity of sticking by your

family.

The sad truth was that recognizing this connection solved nothing

for Logan. He straightened up and looked solemnly at Nick, asserting,

―I don‘t care about Daisy no more. What I do care about is my girls,

and yeah, Linda—in a way.‖

―Then care enough to be honest, Logan. You think goin‘ back and

living a lie again is gonna make anyone happy?‖

Halfway to the tool chest, Logan whipped around to face Nick.

―Be honest? Are you saying I should tell them—‖

―That you‘re gay? Yeah, I think you should.‖ A couple of strides

brought Nick right in front of Logan, close enough to hear him ask

softly, ―Because you are… aren‘t you?‖

A lifelong expert at dodging that question from his own mind,

Logan didn‘t immediately answer. Instead he gave a dismissive shrug,

saying, ―That ain‘t the point,‖ and headed back over to the tool chest.

As he selected tools, a voice floated over his shoulder. ―Then

what is?‖

Silently contemplating the enormity of what Nick was asking of

him, Logan went to work. Tell Trudy—and Linda? Face his own wife‘s

sneering condemnation? And it wouldn‘t stop there, would it? No,

Linda would tell Marie, who‘d tell Bob…. Shit, word would get back

to the mill, even. Then guys like Chuck would know the truth—how

right they were about him.

Logan started seeing a confession to Trudy as a pebble dropped

into a pond, the ripples of his big news spreading out into the wide

world, confirmation to all those who had previously questioned his

manhood. Like wildfire, the news would spread to everyone in his

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life…. Logan sat back on his heels as the worst part of this plan hit him

like physical blow:
Krista and Meghan.

As if no time had passed since Nick‘s inquiry, Logan wheeled on

him, protesting, ―No way am I gonna tell Trudy or Linda that. The girls

would have to know, too!‖

Nick looked up from the piston in his hands, tilting his head at

Logan. ―Okay… so?‖

Rather than facing the question directly, Logan snarled, ―So? So

Linda and her lawyer would take ‘em away from me for good. I might

never see them agai—‖

―What?‖ Nick straightened up and moved towards Logan, his

outrage sizzling through each word. ―They can‘t do that! You got

visitation rights as an abuser and you think they‘re gonna keep your

girls from you because
you’re gay
?‖

Logan felt his own anger rising in response. ―Maybe they won‘t

have to take ‘em away because the girls won‘t want nothin‘ to do with

me once they find out!‖

Calm returning to him, Nick stated firmly, ―I don‘t believe that.‖

―‘Cause you know ‘em so well, huh?‖ Logan snorted. ―After

meeting ‘em that one time.‖

―I saw how much they love you.‖

Logan‘s treacherous mind immediately turned the word into the

past tense, ―loved.‖ He swallowed down most of his panic at that

thought, managing only to say, ―No kid wants a dad who‘s… like that,

Nick. You know they don‘t.‖

―They wouldn‘t let that stop—‖

―I can‘t put ‘em through that. Not on top of everything else

they‘ve been through.‖ He turned pleading eyes on Nick, aching for his

understanding. ―It‘s just too much, too soon.‖

Relief washed over Logan when Nick nodded in apparently

reluctant agreement. ―Then you gotta find a way to make Trudy believe

you without tellin‘ her… everything.‖

―Yeah, okay. I‘ll think of somethin‘,‖ Logan promised wearily,

hoping that would be the end of it for the night. He nodded at the car.

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185

―Let‘s get some work done.‖ Intending to lighten the mood, Logan

quirked an eyebrow at Nick, saying, ―Or we won‘t have time for

anything else tonight.‖

Nick grinned at the obvious gambit. ―Does that mean you‘re

comin‘ back to my place when we‘re done here?‖

Logan nodded towards the passenger seat of his Ford. ―That

overnight bag answer your question?‖

―Hot damn!‖ Nick rubbed his hands together enthusiastically.

―Let‘s get busy now,‖ his smile widened as he finished, ―so we can get

busy later.‖

THEY worked diligently, not only Thursday night, but every spare

minute the two could find through the weekend, making so much

progress that Sunday at five p.m. found them taking the Thunderbird,

with its rebuilt engine, out for a spin through The South Side Slopes.

After taking a sharp corner at 45 mph, Nick revved the motor and

headed up the hill on Coast Avenue. He grinned at Logan, crowing,

―Damn! I can‘t believe this is the same car!‖

With one hand braced on the dash, Logan shook his head,

admonishing, ―You keep drivin‘ like a maniac, and it‘ll be a junker

again soon enough.‖

Since Logan‘s proud, happy grin matched his own, Nick just

waggled his impressive eyebrows and gunned the car up Canton

Avenue, the steepest street in all of Pittsburgh. When Nick crested the

hill easily, he felt like a dad whose son had just won the Little League

World Series. He finally slowed and turned down Hampshire, pulling

into the first open parking spot he saw.

Turning to the man next to him, Nick was entranced by the sight

of a relaxed, ebullient Logan. He had to grip the steering wheel tightly

to keep from reaching over and dragging Logan into his lap for a wild

makeout session right then and there. Nick sublimated his impulse

through a fond shove to Logan‘s shoulder. ―You are one hell of a

mechanic, ya know that?‖

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The blush that suffused Logan‘s face as he shook the compliment

off made him look almost exactly like he did at the height of passion,

and Nick felt his already interested cock stand up and take notice. He

was half-tempted to slam the car back into drive and head straight for

home—and bed—but the other part of him preferred to draw out this

festive night and delay the literal climax of the evening. ―We gotta

celebrate g‘tting‘ this car back together, you know that?‖

―Sure.‖ Logan must have been feeling the tension, too, since he

asked archly, "What‘d you have in mind?‖

A growl from his stomach reminded Nick that he hadn‘t eaten

since his skimpy breakfast. ―How ‘bout we get some dinner before

anything more… elaborate?‖

―Sounds good. Is there some place around here?‖

A second of thought brought the answer to Nick. ―Liberty Grill!

You haven‘t even been there yet, have you?‖

―Nope.‖ Logan frowned, asking, ―But didn‘t you tell me Trudy‘s

husband runs that place?‖

―Yeah, but Larry never works on Sunday night. It‘s okay.‖

Skepticism laced Logan‘s question. ―You sure?‖

―Yeah, I‘m sure. I wouldn‘t‘ve suggested it if I wasn‘t.‖ Logan

was still mulling it over, so Nick prodded, ―Come on, Logan. It‘s a

Pittsburgh landmark. And the food‘s the best.‖

―Okay.‖ A sly smile graced Logan‘s face as he added, ―Wouldn‘t

wanta miss this landmark of yours.‖

Twenty minutes later, they were ushered to a corner booth with a

good view of the busy counter by the evening hostess, Maddie, whose

familiar greeting to Nick seemed to interest Logan very much. ―Seems

like you know everybody here.‖

―Yeah, pretty much.‖ Sensing where this was headed, Nick

rushed to calm his jumpy companion. ―It‘s not like anyone‘s going to

be reporting back to Larry that I showed up tonight, or with who.

They‘re too damn busy to keep score. ‘Sides, it‘s not like I‘m a novelty

or anything, I‘ve been comin‘ here since I was a starving college

student.‖

―Really?‖

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187

―Yeah, I knew Larry before I knew Trudy.‖

―You‘re kidding.‖

―Nope, I used to come here for dinner and bring my books. Larry

served me probably… thousands of cups of coffee when I was studying

into the night, right there at that counter.‖

Confusion ironed a crease into Logan‘s forehead. ―Thought he ran

things around here. What was he doin‘ working the counter?‖

Nick shrugged, explaining, ―He‘s done just about every job in this

place. Still mans the counter whenever he can.‖ He smiled at a distant

memory and mused, ―Couldn‘t believe it when I was applyin‘ to the

graduate program at Pitt and Larry suggested I talk to his wife, who just

happened to be Dr. Trudy Gerard.‖

They were briefly interrupted by the perky waitress who

introduced herself as Becky and took their drink orders after explaining

the specials. Logan got his usual Coke, but Nick asked for a root beer,

advising Logan that it was on draft at Liberty Grill—best damn root

beer in the city. Nick wondered if Logan had heard him, since he had a

definite air of distraction as he studied the menu. Nick asked,

―Somethin‘ wrong?‖

Logan folded the menu and leaned his forearms on it, saying,

―The way you said you were so surprised to find out Larry was married

to Trudy—is she famous or somethin‘?‖

―In the field of abuse counseling, you bet she is. Famous
and

infamous
.‖

―Whaddya mean, infamous?‖

―Well, she‘s one of the few—‖ The conversation was interrupted

again when Becky brought their drinks and took their meal orders.

Logan asked for the meatloaf special while Nick got the T-bone pork

chop.

As soon as she disappeared, Logan took up right where they‘d left

off. ―You were sayin‘, about Trudy?‖

―Oh yeah, she‘s kind of a controversial figure in that she strongly

supports couples counseling—like she‘s trying to do with you and

Linda.‖

―And why‘s that such a big deal?‖

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―‘Cause hardly anyone else does it—or believes in it.‖

―You don‘t?‖

―Hell no.‖ When he saw the hurt look flit across Logan‘s face,